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Is there any better feeling
Than perusing b3ta whilst curling one out?
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
Yes.

NEXT
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)
What is this emotion you humans call 'love'?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)
Mutual fear of loneliness.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)
And what is this emotion you humans call 'The Macarena'?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)
It's a masonic signal that got out of hand.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
is this about biscuits again, ffs

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)
IT IS OF NO CONCERN TO YOU

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)
Where do ancient tribes of arms go with all their gold to build a city and then lose it?
ELBOW-rado! (Eldorado.)
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
If only
there were a way of saying 'I don't like this'
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)
Who is the Emperor of ancient Mongolian shins?
Kub-LEG Khan!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
Laydeez an Gennelmen
He's here all week.

Unfortunately.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)
What ancient civilisation were a soft bone-like substance in your nose?
The Cartilage-inians.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)
What indigenous tribe were particularly knobbly?
The Aborigiknees
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)
what would you get if you tripped over in pre-roman norfolk and let the locals help?
you'd get icey knees!
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

which ancient civilisation collapsed due to making too many shit text-based pictures? the asciitecs
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)
BOOF!
Which ancient civilisation lived in tins?
The IN CANS!!!!! (incans)
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
Which female tribe were overly erogenous?
The Amore-zone-ians
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)
HAHAHAHAHA
OHOHOHOHOHOHO
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

What european tribe died of laughing too much?
The PUNS ! ! ! ! !
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)
which european tribe spent far too much time putting on mascara and dying their hair black?
the busy goths!
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)
Which Northern tribe died out from heart attacks?
The Frykings!
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:22, archived)
What do you call people stood between some doric columns queuing for a class on spreadsheets

THEY ARE ROW MANS!
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
Which race of people had a tremendous nerve?
The GAULS!


Because they had the gaul to do things...I don't know where I'm going with this.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)
TFD, I have some good news, and some bad news... depending on your point of view.
There was this girl on OKCupid who rated me 4 out of 5, and has really nice bazookas, and is into cooking and making things on the internet. So I wrote her a message asking her out and all that, and she replied, so I replied, but then no replies for a few days.... So, and this is where you come in, seeing as how she doesn't really want me (I don't think), that means that I'm free for the time being to date someone else, do you see where I'm going with this? So, if you could just set up your facebook's relationship status to engaged with me, that will get the ball rolling.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:02, archived)
Well thanks a lot Gonz,
I would dearly love to be your rebound but you broke my heart last time and I'm just not sure I could trust myself to be vulnerable with you again.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)
Can I fuck you, please?

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:13, archived)
Fuck off.
You love your wife too much har har.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:16, archived)
Yes, there's sex, eating a nice meal, or strangling a whore and dumping her corpse in a canal.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)
Or on a good night
all three
(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)
Perusing b3ta
while getting a blowjob?
(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)
From your mum.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)
and she's also talking to you on b3ta at the same time

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)
FOUND THIS SITE FOR YOU
It was advertised in one of my mum's magazines with the caption "FART WITH CONFIDENCE".
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)
Could have used some of those last weekend.
Was staying with Girlfriends parents for the first time. Trying to hold farts in for that long is not good for the bowels.
(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
I love the fact
they're called 'Shreddies', and they have a 'patented activated carbon rear panel'... Arf!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)
OI
LISTEN TO THE TRAINING, FUCKSHIT
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 14:05, archived)
Yes.
Blue Star's Jurassic Park.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)
You wanna see my velociraptor?
*nudge nudge*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)
I very much like this game.
I wonder if it works as well for gentlemen.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)
There is an alternative one
describeyourpeniswithamovietitle

It
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)
Quite.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)
To Kill A Mocking Bird
describes an unfortunate incident that involved my penis. Does this count?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
It's Complicated

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)
Innerspace

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)
Anaconda

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)
She's Gotta Have It

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
I don't like this.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
The Whole Nine Yards

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
Bridge Over the River Kwai

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)
I refuse to do "Big"
But in a way I just did.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:53, archived)
The Fantastic Voyage

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)
Finding Nemo

(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)
King Kong Vs Godzilla

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1754732/
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)
Baby's Day Out

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)
The long kiss goodnight.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)
The Punisher

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)
Ghandi.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)
The Incredible Shrinking Man

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)
Memento

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)
Transformers.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)
The back-up plan.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
A Series of Unfortunate Events

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
GONE IN 60 SECONDS

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
35mm

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
The diary of Anne's Frankfurter

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
G-force.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:59, archived)
My sisters keeper.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)
Inspector Gadget

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:00, archived)
I had an idea for a porn show called
"inspect her gadget"
In which porn stars would review sex toys and then demonstrate their use.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:02, archived)
I'll put up all the money, but I'll need 50% equity

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)
Up

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:01, archived)
The Thing

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1434927/
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)
The Cyclops

(I helped save b3ta! Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:03, archived)
The talented Mr Ripley.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)
The Phantom Menace

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)
Up

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:04, archived)
Up
Up
Up
Up
Up
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)
7 UP! HAHAHA

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)
Let Me In

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0380798/
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:05, archived)
Rising Damp
movie tv programme
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)
Saw

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:06, archived)
Cocoon

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:07, archived)
Little Big Horn
www.imdb.com/title/tt0043747/ (alternative title)
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
Broken Arrow

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
Dr. Strangelove

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)
super 8

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)
Free Willy

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)
8 Mile

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)
rambo

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)
Batteries Not Included

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:10, archived)
Towering Inferno

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:11, archived)
Sliver.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
Carry On Screaming

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)
IT

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:13, archived)
UP

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)
Already done that lego head

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)
The Witchfinder General

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)
Carry on Up the Khyber
Oh.. Hang on...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)
High fedility.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt1168658/
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:15, archived)
how are you finding these?
I imagine Adam Fielding would like this film, lol x
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:20, archived)
The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)
Dirty Harry?
Nah. Rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)
Shaft
a little on the nose, but you get the idea
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)
The Unforgiven

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
I dunno, I just ate a really nice apple

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)
Did a snake give it to you?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)
I dunno, can snakes open plastic apple bags?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)
Yes
Cheesecake among other things
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)
Mmmm, cheesecake
I approve of this.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
Yes, many I would imagine

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)
I have to say
I disagree with almost all the responses so far. There's something about the combination of elimination and b3ta which encapsulates time-wasting completely.

All other suggestions either imply some kind of effort or you have to accommodate other people.

I WIN, YOU LOSE. The Internet is now mine. MINE I TELL YOU!

*cackles and rubs hands together maniacally*
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)
Is it half-term?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)
I don't believe so
I don't start work until 2pm, didn't get enough sleep last night and my brain isn't quite working properly yet.

If it ever will today.

Which is reassuring for any potential future passengers I may have later.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)
the first laugh of your firstborn child, the moment of triumph after years of trying, and sharing an orgasm with someone you truly love.
Of course, you wouldn't know what any of those felt like, so reading an inane forum while defecating is as good as your life gets.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)