Fucking hell, it all makes sense now
You're Hyacinth Bucket
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)

Hyacinth Bucket was no anarchist.
Maybe she went to church to show off her hats, I don't know, I think my gran is part Hyacinth Bucket though, she reportedly only used to go to church for that very reason. She even has one of those little knitted flamenco dancers to cover up the spare toilet roll.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 20:34, archived)

my gran has one of those little knitted flamenco dancers to cover up the scag and used needles in her bathroom

(subatomicelephant Fun Times, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)