The shortest song ever recorded is "You Suffer" by Napalm Death
at 1.3 seconds long
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:01, archived)

They are a good band.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:06, archived)

^music facts

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

I used to love going to see them in the 80s
Stage diving was a big thing, and people would get caught out by the super short numbers and would be in mid air when they ended, and would as a result crash to the floor, v amusing.

One show in Salisbury some wag in the crowd chanted 'you fat bastard' at the bass player, who promptly took off his guitar, jumped in the crowd and decked him. In fairness, he really was a fat bastard. The same night my mate Biddy threw up on the mixing desk and we had to leg it. Good toimes.

Extreme Noise Terror and Sore Throat were great too.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:06, archived)

You are really really old.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

the word is 'vintage', m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

Delapidated

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:12, archived)

'seasoned', m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:24, archived)

Covered in pootina

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:28, archived)

Decrepit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:29, archived)

shane embury really is a morbidly obese cunt

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:40, archived)

Well, I know what to have as the only song on my
music-to-have-sex-to playlist
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:07, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)