i miss the trendy bars in the local posher area
fucking lovely little balconies to smoke on, nobody gave a fuck if you were clearly and completely off your tits and my uncle would usually show up with his mates towards the end of the night and buy me a drink or two
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:00, archived)

what I would love so much is a long, boozy Sunday lunch in a pub with a fire, my wife and my kid, game of scrabble or something
it's been about a year now, what a heap of shit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:21, archived)

i would love to be back there on the pull
sitting on a stool by the bar, looking at the door every time it opened, occasionally looking at the clock, checking my phone frequently, supposedly for messages off my "friend" who hadn't shown up. a man would inevitably come over to ask if i was ok and offer to buy me a drink. you wouldn't believe how many of them fell for it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:31, archived)

haha you little schemer

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:39, archived)

the barman was onto me pretty quickly
he thought it was funny as hell
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:44, archived)

IBHW

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:48, archived)

i'm old enough to be his mum
he is cute, but it'd be like going after my nephew, just all kinds of wrong
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:52, archived)