Beer time, I miss juicer time :(

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 16:47, archived)

You could always chuck a fiver out the window for each can you open

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 16:49, archived)

I miss the social aspect too

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 16:50, archived)

Oh fucking hell I was taking the piss when I said clap for toms and now it's an actual thing

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:00, archived)

^your fault

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:02, archived)

Who'd have thought that the rt hon boris browses puerile digital sharts forums when looking for inspiration

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:07, archived)

given the chance you'd spit in the queen's face wouldn't you.
he's a national treasure and he's writing a book from his grave which is more than you'll ever do.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:41, archived)

"I told you I was clinically extremely vulnerable"

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:49, archived)

read by Sir Tom Moore
available on BarelyAudible
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:51, archived)

Posthumous charity single lined up too
Fund raising, I'm walking til I'm sore, laps around the garden lawn, done by Captain Moore
(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:01, archived)

'this nursing home's like a bloody concentration camp'

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:05, archived)

"I'm cough-ing, hope it's not Covid, hope it's not Covid"

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:24, archived)

it's going to raise millions for the NHS just like Cap'n Tom did
and the same way banging saucepans at your window has funded the construction of five new hospitals
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:54, archived)

Apparently there's no point in having new facilities because there's no staff about to run them

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:57, archived)

All died during eat out to help out

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:01, archived)

Damn right

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:02, archived)

if only there were a person or a department in charge of spending
that could decide to spend the money on training new staff or something
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 19:02, archived)

i miss the trendy bars in the local posher area
fucking lovely little balconies to smoke on, nobody gave a fuck if you were clearly and completely off your tits and my uncle would usually show up with his mates towards the end of the night and buy me a drink or two
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:00, archived)

what I would love so much is a long, boozy Sunday lunch in a pub with a fire, my wife and my kid, game of scrabble or something
it's been about a year now, what a heap of shit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:21, archived)

i would love to be back there on the pull
sitting on a stool by the bar, looking at the door every time it opened, occasionally looking at the clock, checking my phone frequently, supposedly for messages off my "friend" who hadn't shown up. a man would inevitably come over to ask if i was ok and offer to buy me a drink. you wouldn't believe how many of them fell for it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:31, archived)

haha you little schemer

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:39, archived)

the barman was onto me pretty quickly
he thought it was funny as hell
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:44, archived)

IBHW

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:48, archived)

i'm old enough to be his mum
he is cute, but it'd be like going after my nephew, just all kinds of wrong
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:52, archived)

cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:05, archived)

I got stella today , 10 for 11 quid

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:07, archived)

Perlenbacher pils from Lidl here, 4 x 500ml cans for £2.99, and when chilled a perfectly decent German lager

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

I had a wonderfully crisp lager in Berlin, that I was never able to find over here, and I've now forgotten the name of
#ThatsInterestingTH
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:13, archived)

they are masters of lager, those cheeky Germans

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:18, archived)

might pop into Lidl tomorrow and get myself a bottle of Finton's

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:16, archived)

their 'fancy' tonic water is pretty good too, especially for the price

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:19, archived)

might give it a go, ta

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:29, archived)

when I was in Berlin about 10 years ago I kept trying cheaper and cheaper beers to find out where their 'undrinkable' point was
Turns out not to exist - I found 500ml bottles for (iirc) 29 cents
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:17, archived)

#BerlinLagerStories

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:21, archived)

Yeah, my one was something like 59c
The missus was drinking lager at the restaurants because it was cheaper than water. A lot cheaper
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:22, archived)

it's a brilliant city, I was taken completely by surprise - wasn't what I expected at all

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:23, archived)

It really is
I'd like to go back one day.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:48, archived)

i remember my dad saying german beer really caught him off guard
he was working there and he said the first time they went to the pub, it was going down like lemonade. they didn't even realise how strong it was until they went outside and the cold air hit them
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:37, archived)

bit late for you

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:23, archived)

Its only Wednesday Hitler

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 17:41, archived)

was going to call my daughter that

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 18:05, archived)