well anyway. daylight is far behind us.
what's far behind you? hopes? dreams? dead dogs and cats and goldfish and hamsters and fucking wanking because you can't even be bothered to do that anymore? or maybe something else?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:16, archived)

I've never had a dog

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:33, archived)

Me either. Always cats.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:38, archived)

a lot of people reckon cats are actually better than people
but people can shit in an actual toilet so that's bollocks.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:51, archived)

I have 3 fucking enormous cats, everyone says cats are supposed to be intelligent burr these cunts just miaow a lot, spray the front door curtain, eat everything and rip up the carpets. I do love them though so I guess I'm stuck.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 23:43, archived)

Also I don't have kids, so I'm hoping cats can either look after me in my old age or (more likely) dispose of my remains after I drink too much and choke on my own nostalgia.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 4 Feb 2021, 23:45, archived)

i had a cat once. he was a stray and i fed him for about 6 months when i was about 10 or 11.
he used to live in an old lady's coal bunker a few houses down. NO NOT IN HER BUM. an actual coal bunker. one day he didn't come for food. and didn't for quite a few days. then my nextdoor neighbour said he'd given MY cat and it was MY cat not a stray cat it was MINE to a friend in streatham. total wanker my neighbour and i cried my eyes out for, well, ages.

anyway. two fucking years later MY cat rocked up on our doorstep. we lived in Epsom. (that's where the posh comes from, btw) and that's quite a fucking long way for a cat that wasn't really tehnically yours anyway to travel in all honesty. but it was definitely him, i can't be fucked to say why it definitely was, but it definitely was. and then he was our cat for ever more. and he lived until at fucking least 25 years old no word of a fucking lie. ginger tom. fucking massive. basically a lion. soft as shite. best cat ever.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 0:03, archived)

because i was 10 i called him 'ginger'
when i told my grandad i had a cat he asked its name was and i said 'ginger'

no word of a fucking lie, dead pan, he says 'oh, what colour is it?'

my grandad was great. he used to live in a coal bunker a few doors down. NO NOT IN AN ANUS. an actual coal bunker. and one day my neighbour gave him to a friend in streatham and we never saw the cunt again.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 0:08, archived)

London. I have no ties there any more, I wonder if I’ll ever go back.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:38, archived)

they'll probably mail you back when you die
and we'll have to pay the postage
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 22:47, archived)

That’s ever so unlikely

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 23:20, archived)

oh. you're one of those immortal cunts are you?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 23:22, archived)

can't fucking stand the everliving

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 4 Feb 2021, 23:24, archived)