When you wake up without being woken by the alarm
And you have about 5 seconds of utter peace before you remember that you have to do stuff today
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 9:06, archived)

Is signing on a Monday now?

(Tony Shithouse, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 9:18, archived)

I hate to spring this on you
But nobody has signed on for about a decade
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 9:19, archived)

Fucking hell
this sounds like Tory Utopia!

Edit - hang on, they're still unemployed though aren't they? Don't tell the Daily Mail...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 9:58, archived)

Oh they're still unemployed
But physically signing on was phased out ages ago. Now it's all done on computers. You can actually get sanctioned by universal credit for not having internet access
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 10:41, archived)

Thank god those of us without computers and smartphones can still "surf" the "world wide web" in our local library.
Oh.
(dribble, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 11:52, archived)

Their solution for people who don't have a library close by
Is "go to McDonald's"
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 12:40, archived)

Top anti-obesitying, there.
What I was getting at is, all the libraries round this way have been shut since the pandemic began.
(dribble, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 13:06, archived)

Many closed in the preceding decade because of austerity though, didn't they?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 26 Apr 2021, 13:16, archived)

Also, as I've not been in a McDonald's in over a decade, do they have public use computers in them nowadays or what?

(dribble, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 13:08, archived)

No, but they do have wifi
If you haven't got a smartphone, you can't get universal credit
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 13:40, archived)

I bet fast food outlets are nice and secure, for when you type in all those personal details and banking information

(dribble, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 13:50, archived)

ry Utopia ny Shithouse
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Apr 2021, 11:07, archived)