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I'm doing unwanted and unexpected overtime
Which sucks massive hairy donkey bollocks.
I have, however, decided to try to break the world record for the longest hand-knitted scarf.
(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 14:48, archived)
You've got your work cut out for you.
"The longest knitted scarf measures 4,565.46 m (14,978 ft 6.16 in) long and was achieved by Helge Johansen (Norway), in Oslo, Norway, on 12 November 2013."

Maybe the quickest method would be to destroy other long scarves so that yours is the longest by default, rather than knit one that's longer than 4.5km.
(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 14:56, archived)
I know the current record
I made a half-arsed attempt at it many years ago, gave up at 72ft because I ran out of wool
(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 15:29, archived)
That's not half-arsed, that's 0.0048-arsed.

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 15:37, archived)
what did you do with a 72ft long scarf?

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 16:20, archived)
Unravelled it
And made blankets with the wool
(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 16:32, archived)
👍

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 16:55, archived)
A present for Wormulus?

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 14:58, archived)
Scarf wearing cockhound?

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 14:58, archived)
The very same

(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 14:58, archived)

Particularly attuned to the requirements of lay and professional clients, Wormulus is regularly instructed in cocks involving hounds with complex scarves.
(, Mon 30 Sep 2024, 16:02, archived)