Best TED talk ever

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:32, archived)

I didn't account above for the possibility of being in an orbital craft such as the ISS, where you'd be in freefall orbit which seems like zero gravity from your perspective, despite gravity still being about 99% as strong as it is on Earth's surface.
If you guff and burp simultaneously in a fully enclosed, pressurised and oxygenated craft, your rotation or lateral movement relative to the craft would still be dependent on your centre of mass and where your mouth and arse are, but you wouldn't freeze. You'd probably make yourself unpopular though - unless you're in space on your own, which is where you belong, you bellend.

I will now take questions from the audience.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:46, archived)

"I've got a question" *lifts leg*
PppppPPpppprfffffffttttttttt
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 12:51, archived)

I can provide the most effective answer to that by shitting directly into your ear.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:32, archived)

Ah, those headphone will be SennScheiße

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:58, archived)