morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Dec 2024, 8:59, archived)

Anyone know why we bother with mornings any more?
I hate mornings. Can't we just go straight to afternoon instead?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 9:09, archived)

goodnight

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:10, archived)

Helloooo
another high productivity day here I recon.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 9:45, archived)

Of spunks and guffs, yeah?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:06, archived)

If you did an spunk and an guff in zero gravity
would you stay still?

Or if you did a burp and a fart would you start to spin until your face was in your own guff cloud?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:42, archived)

Where your mouth and arsehole are in relation to your centre of mass would determine whether you get a lateral or rotational movement
Also you'd need to expose your mouth and arse to space, otherwise you'd just be expelling gases into your spacesuit and not generating any motion. This exposure might prove lethal quite quickly, as your entire oesophagus, rectum and intestines are exposed to the sheer cold of vacuum, turning you into a frozen farty meat lolly. Kind of like your mum.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:50, archived)

Best TED talk ever

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:32, archived)

I didn't account above for the possibility of being in an orbital craft such as the ISS, where you'd be in freefall orbit which seems like zero gravity from your perspective, despite gravity still being about 99% as strong as it is on Earth's surface.
If you guff and burp simultaneously in a fully enclosed, pressurised and oxygenated craft, your rotation or lateral movement relative to the craft would still be dependent on your centre of mass and where your mouth and arse are, but you wouldn't freeze. You'd probably make yourself unpopular though - unless you're in space on your own, which is where you belong, you bellend.

I will now take questions from the audience.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 11:46, archived)

"I've got a question" *lifts leg*
PppppPPpppprfffffffttttttttt
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 12:51, archived)

I can provide the most effective answer to that by shitting directly into your ear.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:32, archived)

Ah, those headphone will be SennScheiße

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 13:58, archived)

would determine whether you get a lateral or rotational movement
Also you'd need to expose your mouth and arse to space, otherwise you'd just be expelling gases into your spacesuit and not generating any motion. This exposure might prove lethal quite quickly, as your entire oesophagus, rectum and intestines are exposed to the sheer cold of vacuum, turning you into a frozen farty meat lolly. Kind of like your mum. that's amore
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 15:55, archived)

hi

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Dec 2024, 10:59, archived)