Right, morning, yep.
What do we do today?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 8:59, archived)

the funky chicken

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:06, archived)

If that's your nickname for your penis, I'm out.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:07, archived)

-f +sp

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:32, archived)

Go to the mental's House
And make sure that the incredibly dodgy cleaner her "friend" set up doesn't get in. She's a known thief.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:16, archived)

I don't know who the mental is
and until now I've been too afraid to ask. Who's the mental?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:33, archived)

My aunt
She's the greater of 2 mentals, both aunts. She thinks she's a great judge of character, but she really isn't. She trusts people who she barely knows to use her bank card. This whole cleaner business is the last straw, though, I told her this friend of hers couldn't be trusted, and now she's doing her best to get the mental to hire her thieving friend as a cleaner. Thankfully, she's already registered as a vulnerable adult, so we can let police and social services know that they're trying to swindle her.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:39, archived)

Bloody hell, ok.
People who swindle vulnerable adults are the worst. Except for people who talk on speakerphone on public transport, of course.

Let me know if you need anyone's kneecaps smashed in, I'll send Big Jimmy and the boys round.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:43, archived)

I thought we reserved our greatest opprobrium for people who said scone instead of scone
AND I do have a friend known as Big Jim who cable tied a dodgy dealer to a shopping trolley and threw him in a canal while he and his friends laughed at the screams and bubbles. I think they fished him out before he drowned but I've never asked.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 10:36, archived)

Ok maybe we can agree that people who mispronounce "scone" in a speakerphone conversation on public transport are the worst.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 10:54, archived)

I'd like to second that proposal, all in favour say "fuck no you fucking cunt fuck off"

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 11:00, archived)

I'm so glad I went round there
The absolute bitch was there, trying to convince the mental to let the other girl in to clean. I told her that I knew my cousin had messaged her and told her to stay away or risk police involvement. She started yelling, accusing me of lying and said that I'm being controlling and abusive to the mental. I got my phone out and said they had 5 seconds to fuck off before I called the police. That did the trick.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 11:59, archived)

Always good to be able to threaten police action knowing you're in the right. Well done.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 12:27, archived)

It makes a change
From the mental calling them because a neighbour's son looked at her funny
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 12:55, archived)

Fat bong rips

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:33, archived)

Dude! That's, like, whoa. Dude.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:34, archived)

MEDIUM-SIZED DRUGS

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 28 Feb 2025, 9:34, archived)