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How did you wreck your phone so badly?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:53, archived)
By being so incredibly shitfaced
That I went to the beach with my mate at 8am and drank a bottle of wine in the sand dunes. Then there was a brief 2 hour blur, then I was in Tesco buying a new phone and being told the old one was completely destroyed. Then I went to work. Really shouldn't have.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:57, archived)
Sounds like good clean summer fun
which beach was this?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:06, archived)
Crosby
We'd already got through 2 bottles of gin and about £100 worth of marching powder
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:20, archived)

Blundell sands is it or summat
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:21, archived)
Yes I could probably google this couldn't I

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:22, archived)
way ahead of you
Lancashire coast, north of Liverpool
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:46, archived)
Close to there, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:28, archived)

this is incredible and I salute you
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:20, archived)
I thought I had sobered up before I went to work
I very much had not. How I didn't get fired is beyond me.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:29, archived)
No one wanted to say anything
So they ignored you completely
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:45, archived)
sometimes the best stratergy is audacity

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:01, archived)
I start when nearly everyone else has finished
I just don't think my supervisor wanted to do my work as well as her own. She took one hell of a risk, though. If anyone had spotted that I was still drunk and she'd let me work, she could have been fired herself.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:01, archived)
That's some real trust
or a real gambler.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:58, archived)
She lost £7K to a romance scammer
So, not the brightest bulb in the box
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:34, archived)
Yikes

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 11:25, archived)