b3ta.com user Smallbrainfield
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Profile for Smallbrainfield:
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I still love b3ta, but sadly filters at work render most images unviewable these days, even at lunchtimes. So I'm not here as much as I'd like to be.

One day, I will buy some webspace when I'm not busy paying for kitchens and kids and stuff.

Visit my terrible blog by clicking here.

My risible quality art can be found on Redbubble by clicking this link.

Or come and find me on Flickr by clicking here.

Recent front page messages:


(Mon 25th May 2020, 20:04, More)

Dippy Eggs! Free Shirts! Being Planes! Woyoyoyoyoy!

Football looks like fun.
(Fri 29th Jun 2018, 17:00, More)

It's goodnight from me, and goodnight from him also.

(Mon 7th May 2018, 13:10, More)

Milkshake for ZX Spectrum in 48K

(Fri 20th Apr 2018, 11:46, More)


I don't get it.
(Tue 17th Apr 2018, 12:30, More)

Am I doing this right?

(Fri 17th Nov 2017, 15:49, More)

Sitcom idea: Julian and Henry

(Tue 14th Nov 2017, 15:14, More)

Bogus emerges sporadically, cutting a wake of destruction and sowing blame everywhere but himself.

(Tue 19th Sep 2017, 12:35, More)

On a similar note.

(Tue 25th Jul 2017, 12:17, More)

Hith Mathterth Voith

(Fri 2nd Jun 2017, 13:29, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Bizarre habits

When I was a kid and saw the film Jaws.
I was convinced Jaws would get me in my sleep. This despite the fact I lived in Lancashire, at least a mile from the nearest river with a sea connection and a long way from Amity, which I was dimly aware was probably somewhere off the south eastern United States.

So, assuming Jaws survives the end of the film, can navigate the river Irwell as far as Bury, hop out of the water, thrash his way across fields and two major roads, open a garden gate latched on the inside (which even human beings with their opposale thumbs found nigh on impossible to work), break down a door, climb upstairs and manouver a complicated bannister arrangement to my childhood bedroom to bite me, he would then have to have a bite length of at least 23 inches as I habitually slept as close as possible to the wall in order to avoid this admittedly remote possibility. Fuck you Jaws, you were never going to get me.
(Thu 1st Jul 2010, 14:07, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

The small key-like object supplied with some brands of smartphone to open the sim card slot.
(Mon 30th Apr 2018, 16:25, More)

» Stuff I've found

I once found a bloodstained five-pound note when I was a kid.
(A fiver to a twelve year old kid in the eighties was serious wonga, I hasten to add.)

I like to imagine it fluttered out of the hand of some dying criminal, shot to bits by rival gangsters, then dumped in an alley.
With his last breath, his life flashing before him, he realises ruefully that all his life he has been alone, never truly able to trust anyone. On the cusp of the yawing abyss of oblivion, he regards the bloody five pound note as it flutters out of his weakening grasp.

Well, it could have been that, or somebody might have dropped it coming out of the butchers shop down the road.

I spent it on sweets, probably.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:08, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

Eight years since I joined as well. Have a commemorative plate in recognition.

(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 12:49, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

The unfinished pint left by a politician after a photo opportunity.
(Tue 1st May 2018, 8:45, More)
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