Prepares to die in a flame war:
But I really don't like The Lord Of The Rings.

I found it massively overblown and pompous. The stick up its arse had a stick up its arse. And why the festering wank is it necessary for everyone to have about 20 different names? "Fenwick, who the dwarves know as Ironfist, called by the elves Goldenballs, known in the Black Kingdom as Bent Bob, ..." Jesus Titty Fucking Christ, you need a wall-chart just to follow a conversation...

The films were pretty good, and I'm looking forward to The Hobbit. But the book needs a savage session with an editor's knife.

[edit] Hah! Cross-posted with Amish Information Systems, above! Welcome to our little hate-club.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:37, 22 replies)

same with the hobbit
got halfway down page one and thought "fuck that"
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:39, closed)

^HAHHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAH
THIS
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:43, closed)

I didn't get on with Lord Of The Rings at all, but oddly I really enjoyed The Hobbit.
I got it in a box with the ZX Spectrum adventure game of it. Although I couldn't do the game, I kept getting killed on the mountains.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:43, closed)

tried reading it 3 times
never got past page one.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:45, closed)

I'm the kinda guy
Who if I get a decent paperback, will drill through it in 4-5 hours not stopping except to go for a piss. The Hobbit, ten pages then said screw this
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:18, closed)

i don't stop.
my bathroom is often referred to as the reading room, as whatever i'm currently reading will be in there.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 15:22, closed)

A kindred spirit
Well said, Moon Monkey, who is known by the B3tans as Siriluna and by the blokes down the pub as Oyyu.

You were clearly posting as I was typing my similar observations in the next thread along.

I look forward to the discussion about how wonderful it was that the pixies' walk down the road to the next county was detailed in THREE HUNDRED PAGES OF MIND-NUMBINGLY TEDIOUS DETAIL.

Ahem. Sorry. As you were.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:42, closed)

Feeling masochistic, I once attempted to read some other Tolkein
That is, not LotR or The Hobbit.
Ye Gods, they're even worse. Not even hardened JRRT fans can finish the Silmarillion, so I'm told.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:48, closed)

They can and do (well, this one did)
Though it was more an effort of will and an exercise in adolescent bloody-mindedness than a leisure pastime.

IMO the films did well to ditch the interminable folk songs and poetry recitals of the books, and really really well to completely excise all the Tom Bombadil bollocks. Fol-de-rol my arse.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:57, closed)

He'll always be Tim Benzedrine to me
The only thing I remember from Bored Of The Rings
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:20, closed)

Couldn't agree more
I tried reading LOTR about 4 times, getting progressively less into it with each attempt.

Just as well, as I'd have hated to invest serious time only to feel I had to finish it for the sake of it.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 14:56, closed)

God
Yes.

Convoluted gibberish. And the films are pish as well.
(Raol Duke, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:00, closed)

Never appealed to me
A load of my school friends were fans, helped perhaps by the fact that Tolkein's son was our school chaplain. But I always wanted to read adventures set in a realistic world - except when I was reading comics, obviously.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:20, closed)

the hobbit was good.
lord of the rings is like if c.s lewis mated with dan brown, and their offspring wrote a book while monged to the tits on valium.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:26, closed)

I attempted
To read that to mini-me at bedtime when he was little. I frequently fell asleep before him.
He enjoyed it when he read it himself, but then he's weird.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:35, closed)

i can vouch for this. he IS weird.
bless 'im. ruffle his hair and give him a big kiss on the cheek from me, won't you. i hear he LOVES that.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 15:40, closed)

I tried!
I got as far as the ruffle. :D
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 17:04, closed)

Try "The Chronicals of Thomas Covenant" by Stephen Donaldson.
I prefer that to LOTR
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 17:45, closed)

You haven't even mentioned Tom Bombadil and his 40-page songs about fuck all.

( Zuowan, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 2:41, closed)

I've tried to read The Lord of The Rings
But I'm a great believer in not reading beyond a third of a book if I'm not enjoying it. Except I never made it to a third.

For some unknown reason I tried to read The Silmarillion. Icke wept its bloody awful.

I like the films though.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 18:59, closed)

when I was 10
And for a few years longer I enjoyed it but outgrew it. You want tiresome and unreadable try The Worm Ouroboros trilogy. So very dull that my brain appears to have erased all other details

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Worm_Ouroboros If you must
(unclestinky, Sun 8 Jan 2012, 5:03, closed)

I both agree and dissagree. for every 3 chapters, one is interesring. i love the richness of the world and people in it, but find the need too go into such detail excruciating. Some aspects of the book, namely when you think pippin is dead at the black gates is beautiful. But my god when.you have read what every character is wearing in painstaking detail for the past hour only to have a battle glossed over in.seconds its pretty heart breaking.

In my eyes, the films did a brilliant job, took the huge world, living mythology an amazing imagination and cut out the singing, prancing and boring conversations about nothing.
(Mong goose, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 2:58, closed)