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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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Unfortunate names
A woman in the office has a daughter in her late teens.
She has just had a baby girl, and since she is chavvy, she has given it the stupid name of Skye.

Some of us make 'oh god' faces, some people said they liked it, but we all laughed when I pointed out that it means the kid is called Skye Walker.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:08, 40 replies)
My lad...
...has a kid in his class called Hugh Cumber.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:10, closed)
Mate Of Mine
.
Wasn't his idea - it was his missus - had a kid and Christened it Skye-Blue.

The I googled it and pointed out that it was the name of a porn star.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:14, closed)
...
A girl with whom I was at school apparently called her sprog Jack Daniel.

My mother used to work with an M.T. Wardrobe. Honest.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:15, closed)
I went to school with a Wayne Kerr
Just kidding, his name was Spunky McTitface.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:16, closed)
I swear, in the classrooms for 2015...
Kids are gonna be laughed at for being called Chris, and Charlotte, and Sarah.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:17, closed)
Oh so many...
...but standing head and shoulder above the rest, even above Sarah Louise Olivia Barker, is


Ophelia Dickie.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:18, closed)
Pearoast but meh
My housemate is a teacher, and has a lad in his school called






Nico Steven Segal Taylor.

Dad must have been a fan of the mono-expressioned action hero
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:18, closed)
I know a girl
whose kid is called Levi, after the jeans....
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:19, closed)
now, I am only 20
But making names up, or taking brand names, is quite a new thing, right?
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:21, closed)
It's Not New
I went to school with a kid called Errol Flynn.

He got his own passport very early on.

"What's your name?" asks copper

"Errol Flynn"

"Oh - a comedian? In the van..."

That's why he had to carry his passport.....

Cheers
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:22, closed)
I know a Harley
named after the bike.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:22, closed)
@Bert
you just made me spit my lunch on my desk you sod.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:23, closed)
Always a pleasure al
*doffs ten gallon hat*
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:25, closed)
Ooooooo
ten gallons eh, you must have been excited.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:26, closed)
Oh Spunky

(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:27, closed)
my mate
matt if he had been born a girl his Ma told me they would have called him Krystal. His last name is Clear
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:28, closed)
That reminds me...
A friend at school's mum was a teacher to special needs kids... Some of them had obviously come from special needs parents, as among them was Jingly Bell, and twins Jack Daniel and Tia Maria.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:28, closed)
My sister has a horse called Tia Maria
I love that it's literally just spanish for 'Auntie Mary'.

My little sister rides her Auntie Mary. Ew.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:29, closed)
Whilst I was working at the driving school...
...I encountered a woman called Penny - I forget her maiden name - but she married a Mr Less.

I couldn't help but comment on the comicality of the name Penny Less, and was more amused when she replied:

"Oh, I know, it's an odd coincidence. But apparently, before he met me, he nearly married a girl called Ruth."
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:31, closed)
my initials
are A.R.S.

Esquire.

Unfortunately im not lying :(
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:45, closed)
I don't like telling this one cos it's so ridiculous
and therefore sounds like a lie,

but anyone who has ever worked at TCL debt collectors in Bromley could confirm that there is a customer on the system there called....

Roger Myring

his parents were either evil or very naive
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:45, closed)
A chef where I used to work
A chef where I used to work went by the name of Luke Chew and said that when his little girl was born, they were going to name her Pennie..Bastards!
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:59, closed)
I know
a chap called Phil Issac. So what I hear you say....He's post is often addressed to a Mr. P.Issac

Always makes me laugh.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:04, closed)
Names
On the subject of names I've heard a few:
In one school I taught at there was a Blaise Diamond (this was a well to do school as well)
Other faves are my mates GF who has a son called...
Jack Daniel
Actually work with a bloke called Michael Hunt (he prefers to be called Michael addly enough)
Also knew a woman who married a bloke with the surname Mann. Her first name? Anne!

Made me chuckle anyways!
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:05, closed)
sigh
*opens the book potty fartwell and knob*

*finds such real names as*

Elizabeth Lovescock

Richard Bottom bottom Bottom

Clementina Labia Lever

Labia Hood

Leo Quitus Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache.

I recommend this book for work, if people start getting stressed open up and read a few names at random, always one that will get a chuckle
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:07, closed)
Mike
I also have dealings with a man named Micheal Hunt. Oddly enough he does go by the name Mike.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:11, closed)
My mum, possibly still smacked off her face on gas and air after I was born
wanted to call me Clover.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:28, closed)
I had to laugh everytime
I wandered round the local supermarket and over the tannoy would come
"Genna Taylor to the checkouts please."
poor kid.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:29, closed)
When I worked in a call centre...
..we found a bloke on the customer database called Yellowrat Fairydiddle.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:31, closed)
*Holly
We had a teacher called Jenny Taylor.
*shrugs*

Was funny in class, but that was a long time ago.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:38, closed)
a few years below me
at school was the offspring of a sports car loving man. He named his son, Aston Martin Wood.

Unsurprisingly, he was a tosser
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 14:43, closed)
Mates
Mike Cox
Paul Daniels

that is all
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 15:06, closed)
Also
had a Liam Gallagher when I was at school so he was named thus before the manc band were famous
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 15:12, closed)
I am called Zoe
because my dad fancied Dr Who's assistant when he was a kid. Which is actually quite cool.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 15:15, closed)
I get the joke
of genna taylor. What I don't get is how its meant to sound like genetalia. Taylor has an R in for crying out loud. *stops and thinks* Oh that's right the English don't pronounce R.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 15:39, closed)
I see all your daft names...
... and raise you a genuine Richard Head

I blame the parents.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)
What about Brangelina?
Who named their kid Shilo Pitt?

I hope no one in their family suffers from spoonersims...
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 16:06, closed)
more unfortunate names...
I knew someone many moons ago called Carina Crolla - say it outloud - poor girl! To be fair she was born before Toyota named their vehicles but really, deed poll anyone?
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 16:42, closed)
My folks
My dad was adamant that I'd be named "Kenneth".

Thankfully, my mother made it to the registry office first. Phew.
(, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 16:55, closed)
I was on a training course last year
with a guy called "Reefer Doobie". Parents were hippies apparently.
(, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 0:45, closed)

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