I don't know how bad I am in the traditional sense, but musically...
Okay, I'm a physics postgrad (tick), who recently tried to learn IDL but defected back to C++ because I preferred its string handling (tick). I also had a fairly unsociable childhood (tick) which involved an awful lot of old computer games (tick) which were wrenched to life on an unwilling 486 which needed frequent trickery to provide enough RAM (tick), and on which I was quite proud to being able to run DOS 6.2 (tick). I also dabbled for several years with Warhammer 40K (tick twice*) after I got bored of Airfix kits (tick?).

However, my own niche in nerditude is in the volume of useless musical paraphernalia my memory soaks up. For some reason, when I start listening to a band, I will, shortly after reading the sleeve notes, have memorised the names of every member of the band**, even bands that I don't really care that much about. (Even down to such minutiae as the 3 line-up changes Hooverphonic went through between their 1st and 3rd albums)

And God help me if it's a band I'm really into. Soon, I will not just know their names, I'll be able to recite tracklistings from memory. Even long ones, like The Who's Tommy - I think I could probably recite all the lyrics to that one as well. In fact, I've listened to enough Who and Pink Floyd that I can tell which vocalist is singing which song.

Why does my brain store this crap? Should I be proud, or should I be ashamed of what is clearly not a useful skill?

Apologies for length. Tommy's is longer....

*_{I maintain 40K is geekier than normal WH. Probably tick as well for using the "40K" abbreviation...}
**_{Haven't yet tried this with the Polyphonic Spree...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:31, Reply)

Breaking my QOTW virginity here UPDATED
...so be gentle.

In one summer holiday while doing a maths degree at university, I took it upon myself to make a rug of the Mandelbrot set.

I programmed my BBC B computer to plot the picture, and got it to calculate how many strands of wool of each colour I needed. I then went to the wool shop and befuddled the shop assistant, who's only comment was "There's a lot of black, isn't there?"

I then set about making the rug, based on a printout from the above program.

The rug itself is about a metre square, and I think it contains 10000 strands of wool, which all had to be stitched by hand, using a special hooked tool.

It took about 10 weeks to complete, and I still have it 18 years later.

EDIT: Link to pic, it's a bit fuzzy, because my phone cam is shite

img183.imageshack.us/img183/6932/rugkp4.jpg
( Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:28, 12 replies)

I once refused a blowjob from my girlfriend....
...as I felt that having one so soon after the death of Aeris in FF7 would be inappropriate.

She's no longer my girlfriend.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:28, 3 replies)

Hmm, the Excel nerds have got me thinking
My diet tracking spreadsheet (16 lbs so far!) has evolved into a 9 sheet monster covering:

- Weight (obviously)
- BMI (number and meaning)
- Body fat percentage
- Calorie tracking
- Calories used through exercise
- Moving averages (5, 10 and 30 days)
- Targets
- Estimates and projections
- % changes
- Charts (dynamic ones, controlled by sliders - they're cool)
- Statistics covering averages, last month, previous month, etc., etc.

It helps! Detailed records, kept daily and averaged out really show the progress or lack of it. Like I say - 16lbs already, and targetting another 2 stones this year!
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:28, 2 replies)

Science Nerd over here!
I am completely obsessed with crime dramas and anything involving forensic science, to the point where I once begged my Fiance to buy me the CSI DIY Fingerprint Kit for Christmas.

I also have an unhealthy fixation with Dinosaurs, being the only adult female outside of palaentology that can not only identify at least 30 different species of dinosaur... but actually tell you their vital stats and which era they came from.

Oh and I once paid £95 to meet the entire cast of Red Dwarf.
(Peek_a_Boo forgot how fun B3ta was until, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:25, 3 replies)

I got married on IRC.
I met this great girl online called Ange. We decided to get married. We weren't about to have any cheap ass wedding. We went all out. No expenses spared.


We found a guy with the nick "Priest^" and he invited us into #church for a look around.. It was a lovely little place, secluded and private from the rest of the IRC network. We made sure all the guests had herecomesthebride.wav and other church music organ wavs in their sound folders.

The big day arrived. At 13:00GMT the guests started to arrive in #church . The organ player guy was constantly sending out /sound organ1.wav in order to keep us entertained whilst we awaited on the bride. I was stood at the front of the channel feeling all nervous.

The place filled up pretty quickly with about 30 users and just the 1 op in #church (which was of course was Priest^) We also had the security guy (Chanserv) on standby in case anyone decided to flood or spam the occasion.

So we were there milling around, when suddenly I started hearing herecomesthebride.wav . Ive never enjoyed such a CTCP request as that!

Everyone went quiet as
Priest^ sets channel mode changed to +m

Then the best thing ever
Ange' has joined #church
Priest^ sets mode +v to Ange'

ahhh She looked so great there with the + next to her name. She had really dressed for the occasion with the '. I dont know who helped her pick that, but it suited her down to the bone. I was mesmorized by her beauty as she walked down the aisle. I was overjoyed with happiness. She joined me at the top of the userlist. When herecomesthebride.wav finished. It all started.

Priest^: We are joined here today in holy matronmy between Miggyman and Ange.

Ahh the service was wonderful. Priest^ did such a wonderful job. Eventually:

Priest^: If anyone here present has any reason as to why these should not be married, please speak now or forever hold your peace.

-- Priest^ sets channel #church mode to -m

Silence..
Priest^: no one? OK good

-- Priest^ sets channel #church mode to +m

Priest^ With the powers vested to me by Operserv I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

- Ange' is now known as MrsMiggyMan

ahh that was the best feeling ever. I gave her a very big bold

/me kisses MrsMiggyMan! LOTS!

Channel moderation went off again and everyone had a mill around, congratulating me and everything. Priest^ sent me marriagecertificate.jpg which I signed and sent to MrsMiggyMan who signed it and DCC sent it back to Priest^
We hung around whilst the video guys made sure they saved the channel logs for us all to read back later.

We all headed off to a lovely place called #TheWaterFront for our reception do. Where we had a lovely meal, lots of wine. The best man gave some great speeches. I think the best line was:

MiggyDude: Well I've been to many weddings, but not one quite like this. I remember when MiggyMan first joined the Internet. He didnt even have a firewall. And was still just using mIRC! He had no scripts, no wavs. And was only on a 28.8K modem!

The guests laughed. I felt a tad embarassed. He continued.

However he met the lovely Ange. Who soon found out his favourite DCC port!! And sent him many files. He was a changed man after that. Coming in to #tavern flitting around his new talents. I remember their first date. We booked them a table in #CyberCafe. They agreed to meet up at 3 O'clock. But miggyman forgot that Ange is 5 hours behind. He kept /msg 'ing me saying "shes not here yet, shes not here yet!" But I tell you one thing. He stayed online the whole time waiting for you Ange!! He loved you from the beginning! Despite it costing 1p a minute and his mum needing the phone.. He stayed online for you Ange!!"

It was such a lovely occasion. I danced with MrsMiggyMan until we headed off #Honeymoonsuite . MiggyDude had left a bottle of champagne and a condom in there!! Naughty naughty!
But it was good. We soon had the channel set to +i and +s and engaged in a 3 hour cybersex session. Its the best we ever had.

The next day we headed off on holiday to #Hawaii and spent 2 weeks there. We certinately had some stories to tell the guys in #Tavern what it was like over there.

Life was good. It couldnt be any better. It was a joy to be alive!
But tradgedy struck some months later. When MrsMiggyMan got a virus. The guys in #hospital said it was called Blaster.
I stayed online with her at her bedside whilst they tried to talk her through removal instructions. But alas it was too late. I will never forget the day when she went all quiet and then:

MrsMiggyMan ([email protected]) has signed off. Ping Timeout

She never made it back online again. We went back to #church and #graveyard for the funeral. But thats another story for another QOTW. It was the first time in my life I had hoped to see a ghost online. But alas she was gone. I remember spending some time in #depressed and spoke to a great guy called TheShrink. I soon picked myself up and ventured back into #singles to find new cyber love.
(Miggyman, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:25, 9 replies)

Not the worst but...
Writing a platform-agnostic application to help with the running of role-play games.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:23, Reply)

Christ just remembered more
- I have a NAS in my house. All it stores is technical documents. It are 1TB big.
- I used to play Warhammer 40k (well, painted the miniatures, much more fun)
- Books, CDs, anything of volume requiring organisation; I sort it alphabetically AND BY GENRE
- I insist on green on black for all text windows
- I actually get a feeling of euphoria when I find obsolete or niche computer equipment on sale
- IRC. No explanation needed.
- I am a compulsive cable tidy upper, and tangled cables make me feel like someone is forcing cold sick down my neck
- I will spiral into a psychotic rage if someone confuses SYSV Unix with BSD (this is neither normal nor socially acceptable - I recognise this)
- I can recite a list of every computer I've ever used right back to the Commodore PET (a massive ice breaker at social functions eh)
- I still own an acoustic coupler

The list goes on - you would never guess to look at me that I'm a total and utter geek however. I sense that this is what has assisted me in leading a relatively normal life (that and drugs / booze)
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:23, 2 replies)

The recipe for nerds.
My recipe for being a nerd is as follows:
Take a child with at least one parent who worked in the dawn of the computer age, and simmer gently for 10 years. Add a multitude of 8 bit machines, including the obligatory ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64 and Amstrad CPC464, but also a dash of MSX, Oric and Dragon 32. Mash in a healthy dollop of computer magazines like Crash and Your Sinclair, and leave to simmer for another 5 years. Take the resulting mixture and transfer it to computer college to add flavour and texture to the mix, but also adding a smattering of physics, before taking the distilled result and putting it into a computer electronics course. Sieve gently through a large assortment of languages like C and Forth, then sieve again through a finer mesh of assembly languages. The final product can be used as a good diet for fruit machine programming, but has been substantial for a chip vending machine. Although the recipe can be old and stale, it really is only appetising for PCs now, although the occasional gem of taste is found in the form of games written in Blitz 3D with an after taste of the 8 bit era.
(Rikaitch is full of crap ideas., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:23, Reply)

When PCs first came out
My dad said it was all just a fad and that they were good for nothing but doing your household accounts or typing letters. Well, it seems there are some people here who have proved that computers CAN lead to a rich and fulfilling life of human interaction.

Oh, wait a minute...
(frankspencer, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:15, Reply)

i make websites that will never be on the internet.


just for fun
( Krog3r has acquired some deceant lurkage, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 17:09, 1 reply)

Light+sound
You know how geeks like to volunteer to run tech kit (light, sound, projectors)?

You know how geeks like to go to SF conventions?

Well, sometimes I volunteer to help run the tech kit *at* SF conventions.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:58, Reply)

Geek!

I used to breed tropical freshwater + marine fish, from your run of the mill Guppies (not very hard of course) to Seahorses (fairly difficult, cultivating the brine shrimp is the harder part).

no where near as geeky as some of you lot I've read stories on so far though.




(Kip, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:58, 4 replies)

Geek Qualifications
In senior high school I was the first person to write programs on the school's new computer (1974).

Studied computer science at Uni.

Played D&D from 1979 to 1994.

Still write computer programs.

Met my wife playing MUDs.

Still program Mud servers.
(Maclir, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:56, Reply)

me.xls
I'm an IT Developer, have been for a number of years, but I'm an excel geek.

So much so that I keep a keep a (password protected) spreadsheet, me.xls which I keep up to date on my work laptop, home laptop and mobile phone.

It has loads of worksheets detailing:
- all my bank account statements, plus rolled-up worksheets of the regular bills I pay
- a rolled up worksheet telling me how much I have to spend per day, per week and in total 'til my next payday
- all my credit card statements
- electric meter readings and bills (for comparison)
- my annual leave and sickdays taken from work
- a list of folk who sent Xmas cards, so I don't miss out anyone the next year
- the amount of days I've not smoked for, including the amount I would have spent had I still been smoking (which is actually really encouraging)
- organising 5-a-side football & nights out (which I do loads of)

All my iTunes music has everything organised fully (down to year of release, album artwork) and the fields on my iPhone/Outlook contacts are all correctly populated.

Oh, and in work - I don't use any paper, I use a mind-map program for all my notes (and I think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread)

I've actually got a really outgoing personality and I'm really sociable, but I just like certain things to be "right" - god, what a geek :)
(geedubya, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:55, 1 reply)

I have a life these days, but...
I have an unhealthy fascination in:

Keyboards. Specifically clicky ones, and Dvorak layouts. None of that wireless plastic shit. IBM Model M keyboards, or IBM Model M spaceservers. At work and at home I use hardwired Unicomp Dvorak keyboards. mmmm clicky :)

CRTs, from the two 22" CRT monitors on my desk (plus the 17" TFT) - in a 3 monitor arrangement - over 5,000 horizontal desktop pixels wide and over 1,000 deep. Also, the Barcographics 1208/2 projector bolted to my lounge ceiling with 3 8" CRT tubes on it.

Old operating systems and computers. Despite the fact my main desktop is Vista x64, I've forgotten more about OS/2 than most people ever knew. I still run Vista, Irix, OpenBSD, OS/2, NT4, NetBSD MIPS and Gentoo MIPS.

Trying to port exult (emulator for Ultima RPG from 1992) to PalmOS, and possibly at some point, Symbian S60.

Which leads on to a minor (offline) RPG obsession from Planescape:Torment, to Ultima to Oblivion.

I also like Radio 4 comedy, classical music, blues and opera (plus rock, pop etc). I know enough about Dr. Who to be worrying, but not enough to put me in the nerd category.

The past also included programming OS/2 and the PCW in BASIC and Z80 assembly, owning most of the fighting fantasy books, and doing some PnP RPG with friends at school.

Fortunately I also like going out with friends, trying to be creative, baking and mountain bikes. I have also had more than one partner, although offers from nice ladies, and certain men are currently welcome ;).

Length? 8" 120MHz, 580W and 39KV on the HT leads.
(syllopsium, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:49, 2 replies)

projects projects projects
i love robotics, i love the idea of building artificial intelligence (cuz then id have a friend) but would be too scared too incase it went bonkers and took over the world (hint: skynet)

i love programming anything from basic PIC microprocessors to full size latest dual core PC motherboards

i love imagining how to go about solving problems by using technology... at present i am converting an old diesel car to run purely on vegetable oil (cheaper and cleaner) you need to heat the fuel up before it gets to the engine other people do this by running the fuel line through a block of aluminium which is elecronically heated, very simple but for me ? hell no, its got to become a project its gonna be a microprossor controlled, intellegent, efficent system with temperature sensors, flow rate feedback etc etc..

as a kid in the Knight Rider/Street Hawk/Airwolf era I always wanted to own a car like KITT when i was older... and now im older i like to sit and think about how to make all the things that KITT could do possible..
about the closest iv got is installing a PC in the car so on a little screen on my dash i have my extensive MP3 collection, sat nav, TV radio, games, mobile internet, mobile cd/dvd writing (thats very handy when u visit friends or family that have just bought a new DVD that you want, just take it outside, copy and bring it back in) when i pull up at home it detects my wireless network and automatically synchronises my mp3 and videos with my home pc to get any new music i've downloaded etc..... and im now trying to interface the computer with the engine to plot performance, engine checks etc....

guys ??... GUYS ??.... hmmm wonder where my mates went

edit: forgot to mention that the theme for the mp3 player on my car pc is a layout of KITT's sound to light unit and the 'lights' actually flash in time...
(maxumus HEY!.... diddly dee, de de de de de de, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:45, 2 replies)

Geek of the Week
I'm using an open-source rebuild of Transport Tycoon to build an accurate recreation of the railways of the South-East of England, with all the right timetables and everything, when I should be building an SQL database.

I win.
(Axeman Jim, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:44, 7 replies)

I was thinking the other night
How similar Red Dwarf is, in a way, to Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Or is it just me?
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:40, 2 replies)

D20
I have a friend who's a bartender. Living in brooklyn that's as common as having a friend with arms. he got this gig slinging drinks on a thursday night at a place that was a bit of a hike from most of the bars in the area. the bar was pretty empty most of the time so we decided to play a game for our drinks. everyone at the bar was welcome. after buying a drink he'd give you a card and write your name (or character name) on it, then you rolled a 20 sided die for another drink. you could gain experience points good for more drinks or challenge anyone at the bar for their drink.
we did this every week over the course of a summer, and it got to be fairly popular. alas, like all role playing games, there will always be someone who wants to out-nerd you. so, as a general rule, i find it best to stop drinking when people agrue over who left their sword on the bar.
(crazytalk, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:37, Reply)

I’m glad I left this until the end of the day...
...because I keep thinking of more things.

Also I generally prefer ‘geeky’ to ‘nerdy’ but whatever turns you on (as a mate of mine once said to his German teacher…).

1. All the usual alphabetical and chronological ordering in my CD collection.

2. Despite the fact that there is an Xbox and a Wii in my household (and my PC is about 2000 times more powerful), I prefer messing around with my Amiga 500+. I still find the ‘Say’ program in Workbench funny. Also I won’t play Monkey Island II on my PC instead of the Amiga (where it has 11 discs…) because the music and sound effects are crap.

3. Red Dwarf: fully paid-up, card-carrying member of the fan club. Haven’t been to a convention (yet). I even like series VII and VIII (although not as much as the rest, obviously… *waits for shitstorm*). I felt especially geeky when I found the easter egg on the series V DVD by remembering the code from the Inquisitor’s glove (“Gamma! Delta! 1,4 5!”).

4. I have the Lord of the Rings extended DVD boxset… but have probably (‘definitely’) watched the extras more than I’ve watched the films themselves.

5. My Facebook status is a Douglas Adams quote.

6. Me and my housemate are obsessed with trying to bring the word ‘guff’ back into general usage (tenuous maybe…)

7. I spent too much money and dressed as Hellboy at a party recently… and now have a Mr Potato Head Spiderman for my troubles.

I also thoroughly enjoy a good bit of progressive death metal. Although that’s more muso-ey than geeky (I play in a metal band), there’s probably a bit of a crossover somewhere.


Am I sorry? Hell, no! I couldn’t give a toss.

*edit* and having just read Sheehan's post below, I've realised that I too have a collection of Star Wars lego (I'm 25). I also have stored somewhere on my PC instructions for building a Super Star Destroyer, that will get built if I ever have enough cash to buy two Star Destroyer sets... (£500)
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:36, Reply)

choo choooooooooo!!
Back when I was a wee lad I used to be fascinated by trains. I used to go to the train station (Barnt Green, where the Birmingham to South West and the Redditch-Lichfield cross city lines meet) for ages getting the numbers of the trains. On rare occasions I used to go to places like Old Oak Common, Birmingham New Street, Crewe or Bescot for a hard-core spotting session. I had a little dictaphone where I could rapidly take the numbers down. Getting all the numbers of a particular class of train (or "classing") was a great achievement. I didn't have thick rimmed glasses or a Pot Noodle so I guess I wasn't too bad.

20 years on and although I grew out of it long ago, I still love travelling by train and sometimes will sub-consiously note the number of that 47 that just went past. I also feel a pang of disappointment when the train that arrives is a DMU rather than a loco-hauled service.
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:33, 3 replies)

My 18th birthday party
when my then gf was very drunk and pestering me for sex i found myself much to preoccupied with my iron man action figure :D, but i was kinda drunk and high.
I wear a spiderman wristband everyday.
I wear Superhero tshirts regularly.
i have over 75 gig of Comic books on my hard drive.
I can list every enemy of the Xmen and spiderman.
i can Draw the circuit diagrams from every fender bass from memory.
I have a large collection of star wars lego.
I have a lightsabre (which is just too cool.
And finally i Teach origami at my college, which trust me is nerdalicious.
also i have a limited edition Captain america Shield hoody which i wear pretty regularly too, GEEK PRIDE!
( Sheehan forevermore owes Ttssattsr beer, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Amateur, then professional
I played a lot of computer/video games growing up, and after school I kind of fell into programming at college/uni, got good at it, hell, I even considered it as a possible career. So, the natural progression was, of course, programming games professionally.

So what I've effectively done, is take one of the most nerdy, male dominated professions (programmer), and combined it with one of the most nerdy, male dominated industries (video games).

It's pretty much generally assumed that because of my job I'm obsessed with star wars & star trek et al., have an overwhelming porn collection and have difficulty conversing with the fairer sex. It is an uphill battle to change this view and even if I were to ride a motorbike off a cliff and parachute to the bottom, I wouldn't shake the nerdy aura.

I did lie about my job for a great deal of time, particularly to female strangers(natch), binman and pilot being quite common alternative careers.

Quite randomly, I did however, discover that my actual job is believed to be more interesting and exciting than it actually is; 9 hours a day, sat on my arse, at a keyboard, doing things ranging from complex maths to making a PSP stop crashing. God knows what people are actually expecting it to be like.

So thats when I started to revel in my nerdiness, and never, ever, reveal the truth about my job, well, except here..
(ShiftyBastard won the World Cup on World Soccer Champs 2010!, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:29, Reply)

Signing into the School of Engineering building after hours
I generally signed in as Werner Heisenberg, and for the location I put down "?"

No one ever called me on that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:28, 2 replies)

"Have you got a radio we can take Humpty?"
Cast your minds back.

I went to an all-boy's school in Cumbria.
Each house of boys kept a "quotes book" in which notable and hilarious phrases used in converations were noted. A latter day Bash.org if you will.

Summer days were sweet, and we used to go dipping in the River Rawthey when time allowed. We'd invariably drink beer and smoke ourselves silly too. A Radio was always needed.

We were about to go, when Matt asked "Humpty? have you got a radio we can take?"... I was in the process of repairing one, so I happend to have a circuit board and a all relevant bits lying around... all I needed to do was whack them back together.

"Gimme a minute, I'll knock one up".

Back then, the minutes of laughter that they got from that phrase actually hurt... But nowadays I'm proud of it.

At the end of the year Everyone had a giggle at my expense again when the quotes book was read.... Not to worry.

It took 2 minutes.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:20, 3 replies)

The company I work for has the word "Geek" in its name
I've spent the past 7 years as a web developer
I have a collection of about 500-600 Transformers
I read comics (Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, Transformers) every week
I just downloaded and watched every season of Deep Space Nine
I'm currently downloading Doctor Who
I've seen pretty much every zombie movie ever made
I have a "zombies created by" credit on a short zombie movie
I'm making my own short zombie movie this Saturday
My friend bought me a zombie Spider-Man action figure as the "perfect gift" yesterday
I still play ZX Spectrum games
I've been round to B3ta Towers
...There's loads more, I'm essentially pure geek to the core
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:20, 2 replies)

Amongst the many things I do...
I write pub quizzes.

50% on one of mine is considered a good score.

The best bit is that I write the questions from memory.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:15, 5 replies)