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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Names and the naming namers who name them.
Do you like your (IRL) name? Or perhaps it’s rather bent and you were teased for it at school – maybe it rhymes with something embarrassing? Perhaps you work with someone who has a ‘funny’ name? My mother was taught at school by a ‘Mrs Smellie’. Perhaps teaching was a bad choice with a name like that.

I have three Christian names, and one of them is 'Christian'. Wishful thinking on the part of my parents, there. That hasn’t quite worked out in the nominative determinism stakes.

Alt: I am fucking STARVING. If I eat a bowl of spinach and ricotta tortellini now, does that make me a weirdo? It’s the only grub I have here and going to ‘lunch’ at 11am isn’t acceptable.
Alt alt: I wish to complain about pretty much everything in the strongest terms, today. What do YOU wish to complain about – and how strong are the terms under which you wish to make this complaint?

Alt alt alt: Name a B3tan's favourite band. Phillie Joe's is 'G-Love and Special Sauce'. Lol.

I am reaaaaallly bored.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
I love my name.
I changed my surname to my granddad's for his 75th birthday as he was gutted that his name was going to die out (he had two daughters). He cried for ages when I told him and it was well awkward. It's the same as a famous weatherman (although there's only one T as opposed to two).
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Fish doesn't have a T in it

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
He meant Bill Giles, you idiot!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I thought he meant McCaskill

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
That's very sweet.
I'm v gutted my daughter doesn't have my surname.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
My mum was always gutted she didn't make her maiden name my middle name.
So I thought fuck it I'll surprise them all. My old surname meant nothing anyway, my granddad on my dad's side is Spanish and he changed his surname to an English one when he moved over in the 50s cos he was a batty man who was afraid of being persecuted for being forrin. I don't know what difference he thought it'd make, he's so tanned he's basically black and even today I ain't got a fucking clue what he's saying when he talks.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Aha, I know a way round this.
Simply TALK VERY LOUDLY, POR FAVORR.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:13, Reply)
My name is FAR too common
I have met at least 10 people with it. I have no middle names either.

I know two Mike Cox, a Paul Daniels and a Dave Clark.

Alt:
THAT doesn't make you weird

Alt Alt:
The coffee bloke fucking off when I wanted one.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
You have a coffee man?
Does he have a mobile espresso machine, or does he just have a kettle and some nescafe?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:08, Reply)
A proper mobile machine
£1.50 a brew
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
That's awesome.
If I had that I would be permanently wired and have no money.

Holy shit, that must be how Monty feels ALL THE TIME!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Many flavoured shots too
He is back now so Chris is on a caffeine mission
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Is that a Man or Astroman? reference?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:09, Reply)
It's a 'you are a fucking woofter' reference.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I wish to complain in medium to moderate terms about this.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I would like to complain in the strongest possible terms about this new thread.
I also have three christian names. Whaddarethechancesofthat, eh?

I bet no-one can guess what my real first name is, due to my cunning disguise.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Is it 'Gerontophile'?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
That's not a name. It's a way of life.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Bethseda.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Like the insane asylum?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Possibly
I was merely guessing random words with Beth in them.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
My parents hate the name beth.
Apparently, I was christened Elizabeth, and my name is Elizabeth.

Sorry mum.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Dave?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Everyone knows a Dave.
Some people know more than one.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
I've been at the pub before with 6 mates
Dave, Dave, Dave, Bri, Bri and Bri
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
I had another name before I was adopted which I actually liked. Andy is fine though.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I'm the only google hit for my name, which is a bit of a curse.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:11, Reply)
You shouldn't have changed your name to
Slazenger Wolf then should you?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
snap.
Every fucking hit on the first 3 pages is me, it's all work bar Flickr, and it's only going to get worse.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Indeed it is

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I used to be happy that I didn't show up on Google until you were about 5 pages in
Now, due to fucking Google+, I show up on the first fucking page
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
It appears that the people who share my name are more talented and successful than me.
I was once added as a friend on facebook by a reasonably attractive young lady who had mistaken me for a Dublin-based musician of the same name. She promptly deleted me when she discovered that I wasn't.
NOW I KNOW HOW AL FEELS :'(
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
:'((((

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:27, Reply)
We should set up a facebook group to support other people who have been removed as friends after saying nasty things about people on the internet.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
My names is pretty bent, I hated it as a child, not so much now as at least it isn't too common
alt: I'll join you with some meatballs and pasta if you like?
altalt: I'd like to complain about the inefficient forrins in the strongest possible terms.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:12, Reply)
You're pretty bent full stop.
And a spastic.

I hated YOU as a child, because you are too common.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:16, Reply)
I'd like to complain in the strongest possible terms about your edited post

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I'd quite like to change my surname
Step-father was a massive cunt, mum re-married another cunt soon to be divorced again. I don't feel any particular wish to carry on this name, yet I can't imagine being called anything else. I guess it's unique if nothing else? I Wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about this.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Your complaint will be forwarded to the relevant department.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Googling my stupid name did serve to re-unite me with this picture
I guess life ain't so shit after-all.


(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Monty's favourite picture, that.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
It really is. It always cheers me up.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Don't beat yourself up, monty's mum attracts cunts as well

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:19, Reply)
So does Monty's Mum's cunt.
Is that the correct apostrophying?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
You're asking me?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Anyone really.
As long as they'll be my friend on facebook.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Yes, I am very fond of my name, despite the connotations behind it. (unplanned child, basically)
Alt: Not at all, sounds tasty.

Alt Alt: I would like to complain about the COMPLETELY UNFAIR hangover that is currently kicking my arse. I often/usually drink more and get a later night on Thursdays, but for some reason, I'm feeling really shitty today.

Alt Alt Alt: No idea, but I was listening to the classic 'Freed From Desire' this morning, and I learned 2 things.
1) Lusty is a good singer.
2) You have strong beliefs?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
You have strong body odour.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I wish to complain in the strongest posible terms about his body odour.
I suspect he travelled on the train I caught yesterday before I got on it.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Nope, not been on a train in a few days
Going to be on one tonight, cannae fucking wait for this gig, should be fun!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Lusty sung backing vocals on "Freed from Desire" by Gala?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
It was a long winded way of pointing out that Monty is poor.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Oh I see. That's quite a good one.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Thank you

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
I like my name. It does rhyme with something rude, but I don't mind that so much.
My surname is pretty rare in this country but has popped up in history etc. It's cool, I like it. It's a Scottish name, so it has more roots in a particular area/group of people. It's nice to have a name with roots, I guess. Too many English names don't really mean much of anything, they're just occupational, or *something*'s son.

My first name's OK, inoffensive.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Jean-Luc?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Is your name Ace Locking?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Ace McLocking surely?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Hahahah 10/10

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I don't get it.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
'Space docking'

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
*something*'s son names are Norse in origin
and are more commonly found in the north east and Scotchland, accordingly.

Hope this helps.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
*pillages*

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
ACTUALLY
they're also a strong tradition in the Saxon line. *something's*son is a theme you see in cultures with a strong oral history tradition. You see Thomsons and so on down South as much as you do in the North. Gaelic also has a "son of" prefix to a lot of names.

Just mean that the English versions don't tend to have a societal root. There's no tribal structure in the same way as the Gaelic versions.

Hope this helps. Also, you suck.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
I'm bookmarking this subthread so I never forget this epic conversation.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
EDUCATION EDUCATION EDUCATION

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Yeah? Well you're gay.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Isn't the Gaelic prefix 'O'?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Or Mac
they mean the same thing, though.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
O' means 'of the clan'
Mac means 'son of'
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Mostly the same thing, then.
My point was that they're tribal identifiers, as opposed to English names, which aren't.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
*prints out thread and frames*

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
*moves the bookmark to "best internet" folder*

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
my main name is fine, unremarkable but not john smith common
my middle name is a bit wanky, but i don't use it.. rhymes with manly though *flexes* *brushes luxuriant moustache reflectively*

alt: shut up and fucking eat it you mincer. you know what's weird? the concept of foods being for certain times of the day. ask any stoner, there's NO wrong time for cereal, and while cooking and eating a roast at 11am might get you some odd glances, anythign you can carry with you in a tub is fair game.

alt alt: i wish to complain about the five day working week, in the strongest TERNS possible. so picture a couple of muscular, veiny seabirds, angrily jabbing your chest with their walnut-cracking bastard beaks while squawking something about quality of life and productivity and carbon footprints. frothing at the beak with rage they are... don't lok em in the eye.

alt alt alt: i imagine everyone here is well into 'macarron chacarron' by el chombo. for the spectacular lyrical prowess he posesses. and the video with the hoochies.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I like the idea that seabirds should be subcontracted to carry out all customer service roles in future.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:23, Reply)
what a world
what do you think the management hierarchy would be?
i think seaguls are your general call centre numpties, i see terns normally as the kind of second level, smooth things over kinda bird.
cormorants will work as tech support
puffins in customer relations
i figure the albatross is you roving support engineer type. and maybe a giant petrel for conflict resolution.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
I first heard that song when I was drunk, and proclaimed it to be the 'best thing ever'
Then, a few months later, it was actually released, and I came to the conclusion that it was actually shit.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
it is shit isn't it?
i found it by that retarded running horse video on youtube. while off my chops. best thing ever syndrome.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
I was the same, only it was some sort of Batman gif

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
It's fine. It's just a name.
Alt Alt: I wish to complain in the strongest possible fucking terms that the surveyor is 25 minutes cunning late and I need to get on with shit therefore I wish he'd show up.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
What is he surveying?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
My flat.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Holy shit.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Like, I know, man.
it's just a valuation for a re-mortgage but it's holding up my clearly crucially important day of marking lab reports and going to Sainsburys.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Virgin or Sky TV?
basic package, what's better?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I think Virgin is more appropriate for you

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Virgin assuming you can get cable.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:24, Reply)
all i have is too cables stcinking out of the wall. I can't even get normal telly

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
that's cable then
get Virgin. Package is generally better and telly and broadband falls down less often. Plus broadband is way faster.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Might not be, might be two cables from a satellite dish.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Oh yeah.
Al's got a point. Check for a dish first.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
YES I WAS RIGHT! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT AND BADGER ACKNOWLEDGED IT! FUCK YOU ALL! I WAS RIGHT!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
It's a block of 40 flats, I wouldn't know where to start

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
The roof would be a good place?
Ask your next-door neighbour. If it's flats though it's probably cable.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I go to the cinema to see films.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Virgin.
Sky are wankers.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
So is Richard Branson.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
I went to a party at one of his houses.
He seemed alright.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
I went to one at the Virgin HQ.
It was for my BEST PALS the Chemical Bros 1st LP. My pal Lushy fell in the pond and I did a wee-wee on Noel Gallagher's shoe.

I may have mentioned this up to twenty times before.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I liked the Chemical Brothers first two albums
I think they got a bit shit after that.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
They were Out Of Control

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Their best music was produced under the Dust Brothers name.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
I LOL'd most heartily when I heard that he ran naked into a cactus when his house caught fire

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
I didn't know that.
That made me chuckle.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
That's not The Luggage

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Virgin for internet
Sky for television.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Why use both?
what does Sky TV have that Virgin doesn't?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Clouds

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
The interface is better and more reliable
and also Murdoch can't cut his own service off from his own channels if there's another dispute over money. I can happily live without Virgin1 or whatever it's called now, but all the good shit's on the Sky channels.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
the second part is true.
Although Virgin carries ESPN, eurosport and all the HD channels for free, which Sky doesn't. So as long as it isn't cut off, Virgin is better.

I disagree about the interface. Yeah, Virgin is a touch more clunky, but the Virgin on demand is a better setup and I'll take any level of clunkiness over not losing my TV in snow or really heavy rain, which you always get with Sky.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Actually, now that you mention it
my reception has been a bit shit, but I'm putting that down to the crappy old dish on the side of my flat.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
admittedly, since I live in Scotland
snow and heavy rain is more of a concern for me. But rain has always fucked Sky dishes. And I had to have a special long duster for getting snow off the dish focuser thing at my last place.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I have a CRT so HD channels are probably pointless
This whole thing is irritating as I don't want satelitte/cable at all, but apparently have no choice. I guess I could get a free sat box
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
My sister has one of them.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I think the picture looks better much of the time
you never get that "digital boxiness"
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
That's from upscaling. You don't get it with HD signals.
Or indeed SD that was filmed after flat panel TVs were invented in the 19th century or whatever, you dinosaur.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
I mostly download stuff now
so I'm thinking of ditching cable entirely, too. Freesat boxes are fine.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CRT, you fucking loser.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Retro, innit
He's like steampunk, or something. I expect it has vacuum tubes and a remote control with a wire.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
steampunk is just fashion for ugly people who don't have any friends.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Stop bullying poor Cavy

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
the remote is a stick I stab at the control panel with

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Not unless you've got an aerial or a dish you can't.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Most people call me 'cunt' rather than my real name.
When I got married my wife wasn't going to take my surname, but as a 'present' to me, she decided to after the birth of our daughter as she thought I was help to her during a very difficult labour. I was delighted.

Pain in the arse to change everthing (banking, passport etc) though.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Isn't your name Warwick?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Ha!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Mike

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Isn't your name Villechaize?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Isn't your name Tiny McSmall?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
No, its Gary Coleman

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
No, it's Kenny Baker

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
No, it's Ben Hardwick
If only
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Oi!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
It's 'ard to see him like that

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
I like my first name
although all of my family and most of my friends call me by a diminutive of it, which I hate, and have hated since I was about 15...but if people have called you something for all that time you can't suddenly make a fuss about it or you look weird. My surname is incredibly unusual and has a fair bit of history behind it. Sadly 90% of people pronounce it wrong and pretty much everyone at high school did so for the lolz.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
How do you pronounce your surname?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Like the big blue thing where clouds float, not like the big blue thing where ships float.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Correct
and enjoyably poetic.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
We should totally be facebook friends.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Funny, that.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
OMG YOU'VE UNFRIENDED ME!
Oh, no it's alright, I was looking at someone else.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
She'll only LEAVE YOU!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Like all the others.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Like the three-pronged random daggery weapon thing, then?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
berk pitchfork?
How rare
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Like the greek letter, yes

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
D'oh. yeah, that would be the more logical choice.
It's friday is my excuse.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Omicron?
Strange name.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Does an omicron look like a trident?
no, you spastic, it does not.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
You know it looks like a german word?
well, you don't pronounce it like that.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I hate pretty much every shortened version of my name, drives me up the wall

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
I can see why. But I would also hate the full version of your name.
I have vetoed it from the baby name list.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Are you and DJ going to have a baby?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
He doens't know it yet, but we will.
I have kept the used condoms.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
I quite like my name, as I say
But the cutdown versions just irritate me
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)

name penis
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
I like the way your name only has 4 letters and you still shorten it.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Actually I never shorten it.
It's only other people who shorten my name.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
I have only heard one G-Love and the Special Sauce song
The one that goes gimme some lovin early in the morning. But I liked it.

Maybe it should be gimme some Glovin right kids?!

Look what I made! With homemade bender labels and all! I even put a picture of my house on them.

www.b3tards.com/u/98480917b02b1414508e/dsc01492.jpg
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Nice size

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
You made your own wine?
That's quite impressive.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Did you put the foil on and everything?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Yup
Used that there kettle to shrink it on
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Are they ready to drink now or do you have to wait?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
It tastes pretty good now but I am going to wait a few months and see if it get better.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:51, Reply)
V professional, I'm impressed.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
My real life name is Phil
I was named after Phil Lynott which is either awesome or bent depending on who you are. My name was left alone apart from stupid Phil my glass and Phil me up joke. I was however bullied mercilessly because of my terrible acne.

No it does not make you a weirdo but I expect you have eaten it now.

I wish to complain about the lack of gifts on my desk after the amount of favours I did people this week.

Chompys favourite band is Black gRAPE lolzors
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
+sexual

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
His real name is Philsexual?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Ben Doun and Phil McCreviss?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Well, as long as it's a girl making the Phil me up joke you're quids in.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Kisstory is rolling out some absolute bangers today.
Even Dane Bowers got a spin.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Are you out of your mind?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
No, but you're Buggin' Me.
This has been the highlight so far, www.youtube.com/watch?v=-skYxIZAFz4
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I hope you had to google that

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Contrary to what you might think
Monty is actually a huge fan of the Spice Girls and their respective solo careers.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Is this a fake swipe

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Yes.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
how hilarious

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
It is.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Oh man, I got totally fooled.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Yeah you fucking did.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I thought I'd scared off the real one but she's only on fucking holiday and she'll be back.
Shame.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I for one am very sad that she's off enjoying herself.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
you love her really

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
I did love how she reacted when i posted her firms social media policy

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
missed that
God knows why anyone lets out ANY personal info on here
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
She deleted and said I went "too far"

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
HAHA!
What was her firms social media policy?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:10, Reply)
'Don't spend company time cocking around on Facebook' I should imagine.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
same as every single other companies.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Fucking hell, lawyers are just so out of touch with the needs of the kids these days.
How are you Davvers? And how is your wonderful mrs? Do you like her new Tat? I was very impressed with the way it covered the old one.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Alright Al?
I'm good, thanks, just waiting to hear back from my new employer to confirm that references are in order. And, in a moment of 'what the fuck' I booked for JeffSTOCK last night.

The missus is fine; the bloke did a very good job on her tattoo. You have to look really hard to see any sign of the old one.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
I hope you have fun in Bristol
Please send my warmest regards to the sweary one.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I'd better had, it's cost us £300 already!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Oh there's a lot more about harrassment professional behaviour etc.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
In fairness
posting a link to the company she works for is a pretty long way over the line of what's acceptable. Even here.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
I posted her company photo.
But I disguised it with cocks, and she didn't seem to mind.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Oh I assumed they were in the original photo.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Some of them were, but I embellished it so that people didn't think I was taking the piss.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
yeah, it wasn't a direct link to her company website, though, was it?
I think that was the issue here.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
There's only so many times I can ask her to leave me alone.
Ignore her, delete threads she replies to etc.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
You should ask the entire board for advice, then not say thanks.
Or turn her friend request down on facebook.

Both these things make you an instant object of hate, I have learned this to my cost.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Sound advice right here

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
I'm sure.
That's not really the point though. Direct linking so that anyone can see where she works isn't clever.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
It was pretty clever.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
Trusteppers
Was actually Jonny L of jungle fame.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Like Jordan

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
He really put his foot in it with her.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
Right up to the knee, I heard.
The bucket fannied trollop.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
That's as he has a tiny cock and fat gut so he can't reach

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
She makes me feel physically sick.
She needs a proper good wash.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
There's something wrong with her mouth too

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
her chin has seen more balls than the back of West ham's net

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
She has seen more helmets than the Nurenburg rally

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
More cocks than John Wayne's rifle

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Jordan's son Harvey is rushed to hospital after pouring glue all over his head
the doctor shakes his head and says, "This is the worst case of sticky, black spastic I've ever seen"...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
lolzers!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)

When Peter Andre and Katie Price finalised their divorce, she announced she'd miss the family holidays they had, the TV specials they made, and the time they spent together.

He said he'd miss the titwanks and watching the fat, cod eyed retard walk into the door.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Oh god, that's fucking awful.
I feel really bad for laughing so hard.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
That's fucking hilarious.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I'm happy with my first and surname, Not too happy with the middle one though.
Arthur, FFS. I was named after an uncle, and am glad they didn't chose his first name, Clement, for me. That would be too much.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I was also given my uncle's name for my middle name
It always elicited laughter from the other kids at school. Then I discovered that several 60s pop stars shared the same middle name and though that might make it cool. Then I got a bit older and stopped caring about such silly things.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Tangled Up In Jonathan King Blue?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
Tangled Up in Englebert Blue?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Middle name

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I like my name except when people say words like PULL (the door) or lets go to the swimming POOL, I always look around.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Or 'what's that smell? It's apPALLing'

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Every time Kitty and Applebite talk about their hobby
Gonz gets momentarily excited and then...realisation.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
He realises that no matter what they tell themselves, they are simply being fooled by THE MAN.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I totally just got
- Peanut butter twix
- Pretzal M&Ms
- Peanut butter M&Ms
- Coconut M&Ms
- Root Beer
- Wild Cherry Coke
- Nerds
- Cinamon Mentos

.... she told me it was 59p for a can so I got a shitload and then they were £1.59 and I ran up a much bigger bill than I wanted too but I have enough nosh to last a month.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I cannot get along with root beer.
It's like cough mixture.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
Wrong kind of chemical taste down the back of the throat ,P ?
ONE LAST THING, I got 'monster rehab' too, its a still lemonaid monster drink.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
OH OH OH
and I went to a different sandwich shop today that I've not been into and got a Beef, Horsraddish, and cripsy onions for £2.50.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Errr.
I just coughed without covering my mouth (inexcusable in itself) and a little nugget of phlegm flew out of my mouth onto my monitor.

Errr.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
It's AIDS
sorry to be the bearer.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Oh man gutted.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I for one wish to complain about this in the strongest possible terms.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I for one in Roman numerals!

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)

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