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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's fucking Friday!
Apart from the fact that I've been up since 2am and have no payrise, this is still a good thing

How do you intend to celebrate this wonderful day? I am off to the pub for lunch, will be having Ye Massive Coffee and a bacon, sausage, egg and mushroom butty

Alt:
eBay. Wonder of the Internet or drunken mans curse?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 6:46, Reply)
I'm going for breakfast in Spitalfields.
In such a good mood it hurts. Happy Friday wacky uncle.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 7:21, Reply)
and to you, my errant southern nephew

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I am going to Llantrisant.
Then staying in Bristol tonight on the way back. This evening will include a couple of pre-bash pints with Jeff, which I will need to recover from going to Wales and as I have a lot of work on at the moment.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 7:29, Reply)
Ah llantrisant!
The place referred to by everyone as 'The hole with a mint in it'. I can understand why yo don't want to stay there, anyhow Bristol is a great city for a night out - I'm jealous!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 7:39, Reply)
The pissant in Llantrisant
Don't fight me, Batto. It's just a bit of harmless wordplay.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Thank fuck...
I intend to celebrate the end of the working week in the usual manner - being largely unproductive for most of the day and then knocking off at 3pm.

Alt: eBay has seen a lot of my money over the years as I have bought many records through it.
You need to know a bit about what you are buying, how much it is truly worth (but also how much it is worth to you, which may be a different amount) and you need to be disciplined about sticking to your ceiling price for an item. It is all to easy to get caught up in a bidding frenzy.
My policy is to only ever bid in the final seconds of the auction. This not only stops me from going over my top price, but also doesn't allow enough time for rival bidders to up their bids.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:14, Reply)
I'm so tired, there is a genuine chance I'm going to fall asleep at my desk
That's how I'm celebrating today.

Alt: Tis wonderful
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:21, Reply)
Good morning.
I've got various bits and bobs to get done today before meeting the most violent man on the Internet for a drink.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:31, Reply)
There'll be fists a-flying before the night is out.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:38, Reply)
It's inevitable.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Whatever you do, make sure someone you know in real life, knows where you'll be, get them to call half way through to see if you're safe.
Make a few refferences to how Aunty Nora is on her last legs, "God damn it, Ma' loves her sister so much. Nora is a shadow of what she was, that's not how I wanna go, I want the mersy of a quick death..." then, you can download this program that'll set off your ringtone when you shake the phone in a cirtain way, you can keep it in your pocket. "Oh god ! Mum, I'm so sorry, I'll be right over...." ... "... I'm sorry, you understand, I have to go".
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)
If I didn't have to go to work I'd be steaming my head over a bowl of water
I've been deaf in one ear for over a week now and it is really really fucking shit. I'll take my mind off it by having a shit day at work, probably.

/miserablefucker

Alt: I've only ever used it twice for an old record I'd been looking for for ages and Super Mario Sunshine for the Gamecube. More Bill Clay internet shopping facts as they come in. If indeed they do.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:37, Reply)
This happened to me last year
(if indeed it has happened to you, Bill Clay).
I suffered for a couple of months, then went to get my ears syringed and within seconds was able to hear again.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I went to the doctors early on and they said it was fluid behind the eardrum
I've been doing a couple of 'bowls' *snicker* a day since then to no avail. The constant buzzing and lack of hearing makes me really irritable and disorientated.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:44, Reply)
You have my sympathy
It is, as you said, fucking shit.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:46, Reply)
pardon?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Have you ever turned around in a complete circle trying to find a source of a sound yet?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I keep looking to my left when a sound happens on my right
Which doesn't help when I'm crossing the road
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
You know what? It _is_ a wonderful day, one full of wonder and delight, promising many things.
I've decided not to continue on at my current job, that I'm going to move on to pastures new, and score myself a month's wages for fuck all. I don't think I'll be out of a job for long, I more than likely will snapped up at my prices. OH BOY. I saw a video game company looking for someone like me, I might be able to score myself some beta tests or some shit like that.

I wonder if I can find a company that'll let me bring a pet to work, there are a few that do that, I'd get a dog if I could do that.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Yeah if you're blind it's ok mate.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I will _not_ blind myself in order to get a dog, that is a stupid suggestion, I don't know anyone who would do that.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Wait, hold on.
What's the minimum amount of blindness you have to have to get a dog? If I get a projector, would the big bright screen be big enough for me to be able to see still?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)
If you haven't already got them, then the ISEB and ISTQB qualifications are useful if you want to move into a testing role.
And with those bits of paper, you'll be able to earn more.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Thank you, but no, deffo not, I think testing software is on par with data entry, even with video games.
Can you imagine spending all day every day making your character walk against every single wall in a castle to make sure you don't fall through?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
That's how I imagine most people on here spend their weekends and most evenings

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I've just had a breakfast flat bread
basically sausage, bacon, tomatoes and cheese on a falt bread base, it was epic.

I'll not really be here today, i hope this makes you all sad.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:56, Reply)
A meat pizza then?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Mmmmmm pizza

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Oh man, I want pizza now

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
you fat shits, its 9 am

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Fuck you, it's Friday

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
i don't care what time it is, pizza is not breakfast

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Wrong
Morning after pizza is the best
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
^^ This

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
+if you are a great big fatty fat fatty

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I'd still rather be a 'great big fatty fat fatty' than a dimwitted spastic.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Paul Simon's rejected lyric from El Condor Pasa

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
shame your both
I WON
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
some fucking italian you are
The italian economy needs all the help it can get. You should be promoting the breakfast pizza. You of all people.

Shame on you.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
It's almost like he's not italian!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
porco dio!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Thinking about it, a pizza (a real one, not a savory doughnut of one) would be healthier than a fry-up.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)
true, it is just cheese on toast innit

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Yeah', with a bit of tomarto sauce and a bit of chopped meat'n'veg.
Or the 'real' kind where its not even just that.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Rebecca Black's sweary internet sensation.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
What's wrong with a nice bowl of cereal, eh Quento?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)
absolutely nothing, tangles
unless its cereal coated in cheese and meat called something like Domino's-O's
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Although there is clearly a market for that.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
clearly
fat shits
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
You whining little pissant, It's actually about 9:15am

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)
i had toast, its just another one of the numerous ways that i have a better life than you

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Did you put cheese and tomato on that toast?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
no, that's a lunch thing

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Careful, your autism is showing.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
depends on the bread really but its not for breakfast

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
I didn't have time for toast, due to being up til 4am with friends, its just another one of the numerous ways that i have a better life than you

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)

have a better life than you avoid facing up to the grim reality of this facade that I laughingly call a 'life'.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
OMG SO MUCH BULLIYING AND ITS ONLY 9AM

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)
No, it's about 9:30am

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
well thats ok then

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
No it's 9:30 now. R-tard cunt.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
no it isn't

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)
It was

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
no it was 9.31 as it clearly states at the bottom of your post
stupid
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Processing time. I calculated it so all this would happen.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
omg i got trollled

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I'm in a good mood for the first time in 2 weeks. It's why I've been keeping away from here, I went all 'emo' and couldn't face the abuse I'd get from you lot if I admitted it...
So I'm going to celebrate by ruining it by watching Southend lose to Barnet tonight.

I have never used eBay, apart from one drunken night when I bid 75 on some comics that I realised I already had. Luckily I was outbid. I've never been back since.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:14, Reply)

ruining it by watching Southend lose to Barnet drinking myself into a coma
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I'm going to watch Southend, I won't need alcohol to put me into a coma.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)

snipurl.com/22l3wl8
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Yes, that's the sort of thing I meant.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Will you not be spending the evening crying and watching The Last Waltz?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
That's a Levon Helm joke, right?
Actually, I have Saturday Night Fever in the DVD Player ready, if that Gibb bloke just times it right for me.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)
It wasn't meant to be a joke...
I hope that when Gibb goes there is the same level of outrage from the remaining Brother Gibb as there was when the last one went: "WE WILL BE DEMANDING AN INVESTIGATION TO FIND OUT HOW OUR BROTHER WAS ALLOWED TO DIE!!"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Apparently the squeaky voiced lion faced one sang to him last night and he 'showed signs of movement'
trying to get the energy together to switch his life support off to make it stop, I imagine.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Friday can fuck off.
As can Saturday. Looks like I won't be able to make it to Bristol this weekend. Probably. Maybe.

Alt: ebay has kept me from being a wage monkey for the last ten years. Saying that, it's also what seems to be making me unemployable now.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)
I was just going to text you.
How is Mr b3th?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)
No better.
But on the plus side, no worse. The doctor is coming to speak to him soon, and then we'll know what's going down.
The poor bigger is bored out of his mind. The ward they've got him in is the equivalent of the quiet carriage on a train, and he's not allowed a tv or anything.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)
:-(
This doesn't sound too clever.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Sounds like an opportunity to fuck a fat mess from the internet

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Your chat up lines need some work, Rory Lyon.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Just a "touch"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I imagine her throwing caution to the wind and having a big internet gang bang back at hers
rolls and rolls of fat, sweat, tears, custard and the stench of desperation.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)
You've just described the front three rows at a Barry Manilow concert.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
or the queue at a Britain's Got Talent audition, maybe.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)
I'm still raging about my qotw answer being modded, it's not often I post a story there. THANKS SCARPE

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
Ha.
Sorry, I can't be held responsible for uptight mods who are scared that scousers are going to nick the wheels of their internet.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
i'm annoyed that your annoyed that your post which you stole off me was also deleted

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
OMG what happened?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
=/
Whats up? This sounds like something that sucks.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
he's definitely doing it on purpose
to stop you drinking cider with the internet.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I am going to celebrate by bunking off early to pick some flowers
Then I am going to turn the flowers in to booze.

Ebay is great if you want hard to find stuff at a low price, its fucking shit if you are selling stuff on it because they now take 10% rather than the previous 5% which was acceptable. Then listing fees, then they charge you for accepting a Paypal payment despite all being the same fucking company. Paypal are fucking evil so don't get me started. Just imagine how many millions of pounds of our money they have in their system. Now how much money do you think they are earning from our money being in their system? Probably a fuck load, they're like a bank only they can treat you like shit and hold back your money for ages for stupid reasons.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)
calm it

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Paypal have told me that they've suspended my account for the second time this last year
for spurious reasons. This time they can keep that fucking thing. I'm done. Most of the stuff I buy on ebay I can pay cash on pickup, anyway.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
what.
they should provide their service for free, should they?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I'll celebrate with a Subway at lunchtime and a few light ales later on
Have you heard the new Cheryl Cole single? It's quite good.

Alt: Curse. I really don't need a Snoopy onesie.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)
It's Cheryl now, DO KEEP UP

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
*checks spelling*
What's your point?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)
No, I can't say that I've had the 'pleasure'

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)
If indeed that really is your real emotion.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:42, Reply)
How long do you think it will take you to work your way through every user name on here?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I just celebrated this fine day by giving a homeless geezer my pack of cigarettes.
It's alright they were only Camel Blues.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Woo ! First interview offer, haven't even put the word out yet.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Good man

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)
=D

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
No Gonz, there is no way you will get a job.
It took someone as aweseome as Battered 6 months to find employment.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
So that's 4380 hours, it's been 18 for me, so that would make me 24333% more attractive to an employeer at what I do, than he is at what he does.
I thought it might come off as a bit smug to include the decimal points.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Oh man, he's going to get all up in your grill, yo

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
There are 20k people who work for Gregg's Bakers.
It would take the entire staff of Greggs, PLUS 25% extra (minus a bit), who's skills you'd have to add to Battereds skills, for him to make me equal. There are 24k libarians in the UK. If you took every single one as 1% of Battered's skillsets, then it would take all of them, plus 333 more of them, or battered to be equal.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
maths doesn't actually work like that, mate.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I'm pretty sure twisting statistics to prove a point is a time honnored tradition for both acidamia since the greeks, and media since the printing press.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)
This is the best use of statistics I've ever seen.
And badger can do one if he thinks otherwise.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Badger baiting is illegal Al.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I'll claim he has TB
He looks the sort.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
or, I can do 100
by following Gonz'z system.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
i think you should do 115% of 1

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Percent, a part out of one hundred. Perkilo, a part of one thousand. X = 10, M = 1000.
What's the word for the 10ks ? Could you write it something like o/mk or would it be o/km? I'm sure one would mean 10,000 and the other would mean 990.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Silly saussage, I've been doing it the wrong way 'round.
Battered would be 2.43/km of me, rather than me being 2.43/km of him. What a silly saussage I am.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
yes. but even we don't blithely switch from percentages to actual numbers.
Except Andrew Wakefield, probably.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I'm pretty sure you can.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I do it all the time,
usually on foi requests.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
mathematical tradition would require you to apply a conversion.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
That would present information that we legally have to provide in far too clear a format and make us look bad.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
This is a joke obviously,
I don't give a shit how the organisation looks, as long as my graphs look fabulous.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Dammit. I just asked google and the results were:

al can switch between percentage and numbers - 84.2 million
al can't switch between percentage and numbers - 229 million
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
What's that in percentages?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
36% of people believe that I can wilfully interchange between numbers and percentages.
Which is over a third, which is more than the number of people who voted for the tories, which means I'm perfectly at liberty to dismantle the NHS if I want to.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
now this is more sensible maths.
although try and make sure you remember where you put all the bits, eh?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I'm sorry, Al
but I'm going to have to play the "not rising to the bollocks" card right now. Sorry old chap.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
typical behaviour for a hockey playing prickname cunt

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
C'mon now, he plays pick-up-sticks, he can turn up in his addidas* and still play.


* I origionally wrote nikes here forgetting they also make skates.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
skates? are you implying that ice hockey is a real sport, but hockey isn't?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I'm only messin' here, TMB has never taken up the bate when I say Field Hockey isn't real compared to Ice and Roller.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
ah good, i like badger
he's alright
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Asics, mate.
Make the best astro blades.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:56, Reply)
OK, it's .33333 recursive, which is 19 minutes 11 seconds.
I'll add that in too.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Congratz

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Cheers dude.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I like Al even though he is massively fat and bald and when he runs the ground shakes
I really hope he isn't Quinten

This has nothing to do with ebay
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Check Al's username
He wouldn't lie in that, would he?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Exactly. If you can't trust what someone on the internet writes in their username who can you trust.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
My sentiments exactly

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Batman?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Probably. He is a force for the greater good.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)
quinten is his own man, he don't take no trippin'
sucka
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Today is going to mostly be spent trying to find a pair of gloves
into which I can surreptitiously sew a roll of pennies, ready for tomorrow. Just in case Battered gets a bit punchy.

It looks like tonight's going to be comforting a friend that's gone and lost her work contract.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Tell her she should keep all important documents in a safe place.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I'll tell her that gag, I'm sure it'll cheer her *right* up.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
careful not to "comfort" her with your penis.
It can happen all to easily, Kroney.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)
There's really no need to add further disappointment
to her problems, is there?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Tonight, I'm going to be going to a night my friends run.
Tomorrow I'm going to be BOTTLING MY BEER!!! sunday I'm going to B&Q with my mum.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Woah slow down there
We haven't done the "What are you doing this weekend?" thread yet.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Oh shit, I've ejaculated too early :(

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)
How long will you be keeping it in the bottle, before you pour it down your neck, and end up a sodden mess?
Started my cider in the polybin this week. Just getting bottles now. We've recycling bins at my apartment block, so I'll just hoick them out of there.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:12, Reply)
You can't re cap all bottles, so be a bit choosy.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Why is that? Because of damage when removing the cap?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
No twist bottles, and only standard size.
Brown and green are the best, because light can damage the beer. Although, sticking it in a cupboard also helps.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah I made a spiced beetroot wine once, in a brown demijohn, and it came out a lovely ruby colour.
The nest lot, the light got to it, and it was a grubby brown colour. Still tasted ok, just wank to look at.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I just looked up a recipe for that,
said it needs over a year racked?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)
it's a cunt trying to get a crown cap on a cupboard, though.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
No, it's to do with the neck of the bottle.
If you are using a crown capper you need the neck to be of a certain type or the capper can't grip it properly to push the cap on.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
The thing says 2-3 weeks for the best flavour but they'll be ready in a week.
They say the flavour improves as the CO2 bubbles get smaller, but that sounds like shit to me.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Large CO2 bubbles taste horrible
Everyone knows that.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
It's sort of shit and sort of not.
the bubbles get smaller with increased pressure, which comes from more CO2 from a longer bottle ferment, which changes the solubility equilibrium of the CO2:carbonic acid, so changes the flavour.

However, there aren't really that many bubbles until you actually open the bottle, at which point it's at AP and so all bubbles are more or less the same size.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:18, Reply)
No, cobra is brewed wth smaller bubbles to make it easier to drink with curry.
Evry Fule No Dat.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
yes. yes, it is.
Pressure/vapour/liquid equilibria are completely invalidated by Cobra. It's magic.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
The bubbles are snake shaped.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)

cobra has smaller bubbles - 104 million
cobra doesn't have smaller bubbles - 28.1 million

You are only 27% correct, or to put it another way, you are over two thirds wrong.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:24, Reply)
I'll take scientific fact over the opinions of 100 million fucktards
any day, ta.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
You should check all those 104million results
and see how many people have replied with "no it hasn't"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I hope she tastes nice.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
I've had a good week, and shall cellbrate it with a curry.
* 6 match accumulator came in.
* each way on tha National came in.
* Won a bottle of fizz in pub raffle.
* Got given a Fatty Foreman grill, and made a fcuk off steak on it last night.
Alt, ebay is good, but it's a lot harder to make dosh on it nowadays.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Hmm
* Git
* Bastard
* Twat
* Nice
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:14, Reply)
George Lazenby was the best James Bond
People only presume he was crap because he only did one film.

I thought he was quite big so I was surprised when I found out his Walther PPK is so tiny.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I thought he was crap because he couldn't act

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
NEITHER CAN YOU!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
THAT'S WHY I'M NOT IN FILMS, FUCKFACE!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
neither was george lazenby

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:39, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Her_Majesty%27s_Secret_Service_%28film%29
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kentucky_Fried_Movie
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shrine_of_Ultimate_Bliss
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_from_Hong_Kong
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_of_the_Man_from_U.N.C.L.E
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Emmanuelle's Love (1993)
Emmanuelle in Venice (1993)
Emmanuelle Forever (1993)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
see if his ppk was big he would hav looked tiny
so yes of course you would be right to make that assumption, and not the opposite of that assumption which would make no sense

which you are still going on about 5 days later
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Phil, your making yourself look stupid by being wrong here
and small minded as you can't let a little thing go after a period of time in which it should have been forgotten, i hope everything's ok
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)
What the fuck are you on about Al?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
argue with me that an unusually big thing standing next to an unusually small thing wouldn't mess up your sense of scale
like if i had an unusually large guitarist or something
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Are you a member of Bowling for Soup?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
i might be

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I'm going to call you Jaret from now on.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:47, Reply)
and i'll call you al

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:53, Reply)
*sits down next to Chevy Chase*

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:57, Reply)
I never said that

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:41, Reply)
but taht's the whole essence of the argument, my point is that that is exactly how scale works and monty got it the wrong way around
you twonk
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
and my point was scale doesn't come in to it if she's only thinking he was big
I guess if I could explain it in a way you could understand you would get it but I can't so I give up
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 11:00, Reply)
of course it does, it you saw a perfectly scaled 8 foot man next to a normal sized guitar
you would think the guitar was small, and thats the whole point

you idiot
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
But he wasn't scaled up she would have only thought he was thats the whole point
So there would have been no normal sized anything, the whole image would in her mind be scaled up. I've tried to explain this and failed, I give up
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 11:06, Reply)
no you said that a minute ago, monty said a big george formby would make the banjo bigger
and you've failed to understand that he was wrong
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 11:15, Reply)
No he didn't
and I said I GIVE UP
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 11:21, Reply)
What was the percentage volume of the ppk to George Lazenby?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Hmmmm I'm not sure
So I will guess 96% because guns are big right?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:44, Reply)
So if his ppk comrpised 96% of his size, george must have been tiny right?
Because the ppk is only a little gun.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Unless it was a cannon made to look like a PPK
I'm not sure I wasn't really there and the camera add 1000lbs or something
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I've had a cream cake and a sausage and egg bap so far
later I mIght have a panic attack over all the stuff with my move still undone.

Last day!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:51, Reply)

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