You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1604268 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 769, 768, 767, 766, 765, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Here's a new thread.
I see the French National Front came a fairly hefty third in their presidency first round. As we all know, the French are to a man (soz Kroney) a bunch of racist, smelly cowards who’ll do anything to protect their subsidised shit wine production and spend their lives striking and generally making a nuisance of themselves, and smoking Gauloises. They’ve always been like that, so it’s no major surprise. The cunts.

But do you think that we with our basic human decency and our noble, Imperial tolerance and sense of fair play, will ever become so hemmed-in by ghastly foreigns overrunning our green and pleasant land, that the so-called ‘far right’ will ever gain such respectability? As the island becomes more and more cramped is it an inevitability?

(clue: I'm looking for kneejerk grandstanding, outraged worthiness, people storming off the board, accusations of various prejudices etc)

EDIT Alt: I see Duran Duran are playing a gig for the fucking Olympics. Is there an act/person you consider to be a more fitting choice?
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
It's only cramped in the south east.
South east isn't "England"

I just got my pay slip, ~£38 better off. David Cameron and his croneys aren't that bad.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Lol
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137297/Munich-nymphomaniac-Second-victim-weeping-street.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I think the wholesale rejection of the BNP after voting them in and realising that they could do roughly shit all for the country shows that far right views won't be accepted
The same way that the EDL is ridiculed by the vast majority of the country.

And in advance, no, I'm not particularly left wing, nor am I particularly right wing.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Bring the KKK over here.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Have done.
Next.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Have you seen like on packs of Marlboros there's three K's
it's because it was invented by a rascist.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Yup.
I heard that just after Bruce Lee died from being too fit.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Have you seen this yet?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17896786
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Wonderful news.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:40, Reply)
You're only saying that because you'd be too short for a lynching.
Either way, have you seen this? - How One Black Man Beat The Entire KKK
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I'll say one thing for our working class.
They'll happily die in droves to keep England green and pleasant for the middle class.

I love 'em.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)

green white
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
I love the French.
I wish I was French. Snobby, rude, feel far superior to everyone despite having absolutely nothing to back that idea up. They're me in a nationality.
I'm definitely living in France at some point.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:38, Reply)
I'd go pretty soon if I were you
as the idiotic French attitude to working practices and other trifles will pretty much ensure it's a Mad-Max style wasteland in about 20 years time.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:40, Reply)
They said that in the 60s, and the 80s, and the 90s
they muddle on shrugging
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:42, Reply)
in none of those decades was the entire collapse of a centralised european currency
seriously at stake.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
It'll be ok, Switzerland will bail us all out.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:48, Reply)
we will never need bailing out
we've got the option to devalue our currency if it gets that bad.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:57, Reply)
no, because the far right are usually fucking retards
the only risk is if one with an ounce of intelligence gets some support in an extremely poor or high unemployment area.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Interesting...
I wonder where all the 'I really don't want the Conservatives to win but I can't bring myself to vote Labour - I know I'll vote Liberal' votes will go in the next election?
What are our choices?
Cameron - A public-school educated posh boy, Lifelong politico, independantly wealthy and an heir to the Astors.
Clegg - A public-school educated posh boy, lifelong politico (with a short foray into journalism) with a couple of million in the bank.
Miliband - A state-school educated boy, lifelong politico (with a short foray into TV journalism).

That's not a choice, they're all pretty much interchangeable - except for the colour of their ties.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Hmmmm That's interesting.
I have a red tie on Today. With sums on it.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I seriously doubt if any of those three will be a choice at the next election. Maybe Cameron.
in any case, you're really voting for your MP not the PM.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I've not met my MP yet as I moved house recently
I knew my previous two though. One was Dave Nellist, a thoroughly pricipled honest hard-working nice guy. The other one is Jim Cunningham - he & I both worked at RR where he was a full-time union rep. Didn't trust him then, don't trust him now.
However, the question still stands, where are all the Lib Dem votes going to go at the next election?
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I imagine most of them would vote lib dem.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:14, Reply)
You are falling into the trap of believing the myth that "they are all the same"
This only engenders increased voter apathy and is no help to anyone.
Of course, as most mainstream politics aims to occupy the centre ground, you will end up with similarities. But the ideologies of our main two parties are still at polar opposites. Although every few years one or the other of them may lose their way a little.
Believing that they are all the same often leaves you in the situation we are in now - coalition governments with a mandate no one voted for.
As Noam Chomsky put it - if you vote for the lesser of two evils, you still get less evil.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Is this the sort of thing you were looking for, Monty?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Needs less boring.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)
THATS IT!! IM SICK OF YOUR RIGHT WING INTOLERANCE!!
IM LEAVING FOREVER!!!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Is that any better?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Considerably.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:14, Reply)
If they were different, I'm sure I'd spot it
In reality I fully believe you couldn't get a fag paper between their ideas. I'm probably cynical but I truly think that the faces at the front change but the machinery of government marches on inexorably with no thought for the population and what it wants/needs. Those at the front aren't even steering, they are figureheads. Wooden, unseeing, unfeeling, brightly-coloured and ultimately powerless.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Why would you want to get a fag paper between their ideas?
You're weird.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:15, Reply)
It's an old saying, 'cos I'm old

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:22, Reply)
So am I.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Fag papers are thin (roughly .002")
We'd use them as impromtu sacrificial feeler gauges when setting up grinding jigs, back in the days when I was a toolmaker.

Now guys & gals, there's LOADS of opportunities for strikethroughs there! There will be a small prize* for the most inventive.

*No there won't.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)
My wife is part Native American and part Spanish
so send them all back I say
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:42, Reply)
So she’s swarthy and grumpy. No wonder she ended up in Cornwall.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:49, Reply)
She's also very attractive
Swarthiness and grumpiness go hand in hand with hostility, incest and bestiality. Ands orf ar cuntree tradishuns!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
How?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
It may seem controversial
but I was thinking chainsaw.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:52, Reply)
10/10

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Oh fuck, I didn't spot it until you replied!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Haha
You klutz.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)
bang to rights

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Alt
So you want to find a band to compliment something utterly shit. I'm trying to think of something more shit than Duran Duran but its not easy.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Fuzzbox

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Shampoo.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:57, Reply)
The Reynolds Girls

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Vanilla.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Bombalurina

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)
No way

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I met Vicky from Fuzzbox once, at at friend's wedding
Still would.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'd boff the lot of 'em into the middle of next week.
They'd be calling International Rescue to help with their prolapsed fannies if I had my way. And emergency carpenters to repair their smashed-in back doors.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Thunderbird 4 GOOOO!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I think we may need the Mole for this operation Virgil.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Cindy Crawford?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)
FAB

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Simply Red

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:14, Reply)
What's the best thing to make with goats cheese?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
apart from "love" obviously.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I don't know, what is the best thing to make with goats cheese?
*waits expectantly*
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Love
but enough of that.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
*picks the wrong week to quit sniffing glue*

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Goats cheese and red onion tart.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:57, Reply)
I do like red onion you whore.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Good news, slag.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Flafell (sic) and rocket pittas
with a tomato salsa.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Alt: Spandau Ballet, best chance of a UK 'Gold' right there. GEDDITT!!!!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Prick

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Bring back RealQuentin!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:01, Reply)
QUIN-TEN

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:05, Reply)
You'll always be Quentin to me

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)
i was just annoucing my arrival, i don't mind people calling me quentin

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I didn't mean you
I meant Quentin2
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:09, Reply)
where?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:10, Reply)
There.


On the stair.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:11, Reply)
wheres QIII?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:12, Reply)
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:15, Reply)
party time!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Fyfe Dangerfield's less successful etc...

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:15, Reply)
He's busy offering cigarettes and darjeeling to people.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)
i'll cigarette your darjeeling in a minute Q2

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I'll minute your dar in a jeeling

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:10, Reply)
its just the way i'm jeeling

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Oh, fucksake, not again.
bye.

*flounces*
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Perfect. Good work.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:11, Reply)
talking of lazy striking arsewipes, I was watching a program about the 70's last night
and I now have even less respect for Unions and "working people", they can all get to fuck.

alt: DuranDuran, why for fucks sake? Like them or not England have one of the biggest bands in the world in Coldplay and they aren't 30 years past their heyday, why not have them them play? Or Adele or Mumford and Sons anyone big and current really
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Rik Waller?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Michele Macmnanus?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Gemma McCluskie

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Sam Fox should do it

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)
With Jo Guest

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:19, Reply)
It would be a better representation of "Modern Britain"
How can we show the world that Briatain is indeed broken?
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Set up an Amy Winehouse marionette?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:20, Reply)
She could duet with your mum

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:25, Reply)
And Whitney Houston

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Keep her away from the aquatic centre
We don't want to have to get the janitor to scrub it sown again
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Fucking hell, Granny Flaps everywhere.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:28, Reply)
She recorded a song with Hawkwind, weird fact fans.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Who supported Big D and The Kids Table in December 2011
Alongside Napalm Death
Who between 1987 and 1989 featured Bill Steer from Carcass
Who appeared as Dobbin, drummer for The Heads in the Top BBC TV Show Red Dwarf!

Hows about that Fact Fans!

*EDITED FOR AA*
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:27, Reply)
No they didn't.
That was Carcass on Red Dwarf.

Although Napalm Death was played on MOTD the other day, that was odd.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:28, Reply)
No, no, no no no
that was Bruce Wayne
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Well Napalm Death get credited for it
Probably because in 1989 when that episode was made Bill Steer was playing guitar for Napalm Death.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:37, Reply)
I thought Raging Speedhorn cameod in a later episode?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)
The Cheeky Girls are going to cameo in the new series

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:42, Reply)
They will increase that talent of actorrs on that show by a factor of 10

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)
And they will say smeg in that cute forrin voice they have
They turned on the Christmas lights in my home town a few years back

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FACT FANS!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)
He was still playing for Carcass at the same time, as was Jeff Walker

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Yes
But in the credits it said Napalm Death, not my fault, I just offered a possible explanation as to why they made a mistake. I'LL FUCKING EDIT IT JUST FOR YOU!!!!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Not disagreeing with you, simply remarking that it's a bit odd.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:46, Reply)
THERE NOW IT MAKES SENSE! HAPPY NOW!
WHEN I GO HOME AND BEAT MY WIFE AND KIDS IT WILL BE YOUR FUCKING FAULT!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:48, Reply)

odd UTTERLY FUCKING TEDIOUS AND BENT
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Fuck you fake quinten
you are worse than the real quinten and he's fucking shit
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Best Grange Hill character ever.
Apart from Danny Kendall, obv.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Claire Richards?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Rik Waller is a huge star

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:17, Reply)
+ brown

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Clearly, as this event is billed as the London Olympics....
...Chas & Dave should be a shoo-in!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:24, Reply)
You're becoming a pest.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Woah darlin' there ain't no pleasing you.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:27, Reply)
aim for his prostate that usually works

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:30, Reply)
tracey's been looking her age lately, dunno what happened
today she came in with bright red lipstick on and really tarty clothes, it hink she's trying to impress malc but she looks like mutton/lamb
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Ewe should chop her down to size

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)
she's tiny alraedy, i'm not gonna be mean to her

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:35, Reply)
punch her in the ovaries

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)
she's 48, she wouldn't even know what an ovary was

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:41, Reply)
You should make her a cake using no egssa nd with no jam filling

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:42, Reply)
why?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)
foreigners aren't the problem
but we are a bit full in places. i think we should analyse people to see if they should be allowed to stay or made to go based on how much of a cunt they are and how useful they are to society, rather than where they came from. that would get rid of a lot of useless english cunts. i would have FUN designing that questionnaire.

also, the shitter they are, the shitter the place we ship them off to.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:37, Reply)
swipe's gonna end up in turkmenistan

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:41, Reply)
pfffft
i get to design the questionnaire. i will end up with a townhouse in manhattan, a detached wedding-cake house in holland park, and a villa on antigua.

NEXT.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:43, Reply)
houses made out of cake
would have rubbish structural integrity.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)
And witches live in them and try to eat you.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)
you're thinking of gingerbread

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)
thats a good point actually, what did that witch do when it rained?
silly bloody cow
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)
made it stop because she was a witch
dumbass!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)
the original tale does not stipulate and it is always foolish to assume

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:52, Reply)
To assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:54, Reply)
No it doesn't.
That is not how the etymology of that particular word works.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:58, Reply)
i wish i could control the weather
i would enjoy that
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:54, Reply)
assumption
is the mother of all fuck ups
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:55, Reply)
no
your FACE is the mother of all fuck ups.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:58, Reply)
oh come on, that was a good zing, damn you

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:02, Reply)
well done

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:03, Reply)
i don't think she meant a literal house cake

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)
It's cruel to keep house cakes. They need space to roam.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Also I doubt one would last lomg with an internet fatty ensconsed within it

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:51, Reply)
What's this I hear about next Wednesday?
is it not next Wednesday now?
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:54, Reply)
no, i am a moronic cunt
i will be circulating a new date. sorry, i forgot my friend is getting married on that day because... well, it's a WEDNESDAY!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:54, Reply)
If your friend wanted you to come to the wedding
She wouldn't be holding it on a Wednesday.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:57, Reply)
she's up the duff
therefore getting cunted is not an option for her, so i think she thought stuff it, wednesday'll do!
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Apparently it is a fraction of the cost to get married midweek
because hardly any fecker does it. I'm not honestly sure my friends love me enough to take two days off work just to see me prance about in a big dress. Maybe if it's a shotgun wedding they're saving the money for the sproglet, when it arrives...
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:00, Reply)
tbh she's american
and her family are over here for one week only, so i think that was the motivation
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Not getting cunted? She got cunted so hard that a person grew inside it.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:07, Reply)
also she wouldn't have wiped her arse with the invite

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:58, Reply)
darling, what you did at your wedding was fine for you, ok?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I soooo wanted to kroney to come

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Kroney ALWAYS comes.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:56, Reply)
You appear to know more than I do.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 11:59, Reply)
i put it on the previous thread! battered replied....
i said, SORRY, i am a twat, i forgot it clashed, can we do the following week, and battered gave dates he can't do and...

a link would have been quicker. hmm.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Put it back to 30th?
it's payday again then...
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:01, Reply)
can everyone do 30th? i will email!
and grovel.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:02, Reply)
To be honest, midweek is not good for me
Plus it is a long way to go.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:09, Reply)
i'll be there!

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I'm busy all this week, but I am about over the bank holiday

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Yeah', any of those dates he said'll do.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:08, Reply)
They should just ditch you and go anyway.

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)
I am knackered...so gym or wander atound town at lunchtime?

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Compromise
Wander around the gym.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:09, Reply)
I follow a lot of the stuff that follows the far right, and then mocks them for it.
They're actually stupid. It's a word I rarely use to describe someone, I feel everyone has skills somewhere where they excel in. Like me, I might say things that make people cringe at the awquardness of it, I might come up with some fucking off-key ideas, I might not be able to work out Game Of Thrones the first time I watch it or know what Les Mis is about....but on the same note, I can make things on the internet that make people go 'wow' (both on a technical level and a non technical one).... so I'm not actually stupid, its just my understanding of things is not always inline with others.

These people are stupid.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:05, Reply)
link to some sites you've built, I'm interested to see your work

(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Not gonna post anything comercial on here, but
www.coll3ctive.co.uk & www.amazedogs.com are works in progress at the moment.
(, Tue 1 May 2012, 12:36, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 769, 768, 767, 766, 765, ... 1