You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1605966 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 793, 792, 791, 790, 789, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Worst bank holiday experiences
So this weekend promises to be full of shit weather & traffic jams; same as most bank holidays. What's the worst one you can remember?

Alt: for those of you that have actually lost your virginity: how did it go? Massive disaster? Perhaps you'd spent some much time wanking in the previous few years you found it difficult to play with real 'bits' instead? Or did you go off after 15 seconds? How old were you? Al - no need to answer this as we know you were 33.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:05, Reply)
I can only think of good ones at the moment: Carnival carnage etc.
Alt: it was fine, thanks for asking. I was either 14 or 15, not sure. It was a while ago.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:31, Reply)
As Monty says, I can only think of good ones too
August Bank Holiday 2007 was particularly excellent, we spent the day in the pub, and over the course of the day, saw most of our friends, as they all came out to see us. Was great fun.

Alt: It wasn't great, as I had to keep one eye on the door at all times, as my brother had promised that if he heard any noise at all coming from my room, he'd barge straight in, the fucker. And no, it ended up being so uncomfortable that I didn't 'finish'.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:34, Reply)
If you didn't finish, you are still a virgin.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Ha!

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Just because I didn't finish that time, doesn't mean I haven't since.
Also, I've just been given a tip for the horses this afternoon, if anyone wants one?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
So long as you were in the vicinity of a woman when you finished, it counts.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:48, Reply)
I was, yes.
Ask YM.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:49, Reply)
She speaks of nothing else.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Yes please.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Here you go
https://twitter.com/#!/UkSportsTvGuide/status/197954455377940480
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Thank you.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Worst bank holiday: The day after my first taste of LSD.
Somehow I had driven home, got myself to bed, and then the lack of brain control kicked in. I seem to remember watching Waterloo in the afternoon. Didn't put me off though.

Alt: It went remarkably well, thank you. I'll save the details for some other time.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:39, Reply)
Best bank holidays:
That glorious, all too brief period (before I had kids) when head shops had discovered a loophole in the law which allowed them to legally sell magic mushrooms.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I have never understood the appeal of hallucinogens.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Is this because you have taken them and not enjoyed it?
Or have you not taken them for this reason?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I have never taken them.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Don't seem to work on me at all

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
If you were expecting to see giant pink kittens, as Davvo suggests below
Then no, they wouldn't work.
I am intrigued by this though. Are you saying that you never felt anything, or that the experience didn't live up to your expectations?
There must be different tolerance levels. The friend who I used to regularly take mushrooms with would always get an hour or so into the trip and then be convinced that he had come down and insist on brewing up some more.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Took mushrooms - nothing at all happened though two others were all over the place
Took LSD - giggled a bit
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:22, Reply)
This is one of the problems with prohibition laws
No guarantee of quality of supply.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Plus you are obviously NAILS

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
It just is odd
Speed does nothing until I smoke (which I don't normally)
E made me just happy
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
I am nails though

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:35, Reply)
You might see the appeal more if you had tried them.
Like all drugs, they make you feel great - otherwise people wouldn't take them.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:09, Reply)
See also:
Meat
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I told you, sporto
I'm not letting you put your "meat" inside me.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Damn veggies
How about this carrot?

*points*
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:21, Reply)
*points and laughs*

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Why are you talking to a giant, pink kitten?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
chortles

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Alright?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Heading into the office, knackered but happy after last night's result!

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Is this football related happiness? I know nothing about football, but know what you northeners are like; if it's not racing pigeons and wippets it's football and Jarrow marches.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
whippets

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
whippets good

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
whippets real good

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Salt n Pepa Devo
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Quite some goal last night

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Yup.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Just seen the 1st goal on youtube
Not bad either! Going to be a good game v Man City
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:22, Reply)
I cannot understand your lack of understanding of their appeal.
Quite the most incredible experiences of my life, if I am honest. Sorry, 'birth of my daughter', but it's true. A heavy dose of DMT is easily the most spectacular thing - way beyond the limits of your imagination. The first time I had a proper go on it, it was like being locked in an Aztec-themed computer game - not one single thing I could see bore any relation to a 'real' object. Fucking mind-blowing.

It's so intense that it is pretty scary, but it's akin to a religious vision and psychologically has done me the world of good. Nothing like stepping outside yourself to gain insight.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:18, Reply)
I think the issue for me is that I am a control freak.
I don't like being completely out of my mind - even being very drunk gives me a (slight) amount of control. The particular bit that scares me is not being able to stop it or change things I wasn't enjoying. As an example - what if you didn't like being in an Aztec-themed computer game? How could you take control and stop that?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Mastering your fear is part of the experience.
Learning to let go and simply accept what you are experiencing is very good for you.

DMT only lasts a few minutes, anyway - not that time has any meaning when you are in that world.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)

I am sure the phrase 'Learning to let go and simply accept what you are experiencing is very good for you' has served you well when recruiting in the playground you massive nonce.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Hallucinogenic sweets ftw

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
At the risk of sounding like a dreadful old hippy
I always get a strong sense of being "home" and that what I am experiencing is how things actually are, which I have been enabled to perceive properly.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I am getting a a strong sense that you are a 'homo'.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
It doen't matter how often you try to convince me
I'm not going to sleep with you.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
I lived in England for several years
and was genuinely repelled by the idiotic fervor on display any time there was a bank holiday. The whole town seemed to stop working and the streets and beer gardens were filled with lairy stereotypes.

From screeching harridans in rape-me outfits to lobotomised cunts, jumping on each others back or pretending to bum each other.

Ho fucking ho, what japes.

My favourite day was when, at the insistence of our English friends and against my better judgement, went for a day out at Dovedale. Every available space was being used for parking and you were being charged for this privelige. I was outraged. Being a canny Scot from a civilised country, I was used to free parking, or at least a 200 yards away free option. Anyways, we park, we pay, we join the throng of bank holiday zombies. We must have walked about 50 metres before we saw the first group of cunts sitting at the side and partially on the footpath, having their picnic. Yip, the had drivem all this way, paid for parking and could only manage the briefest of strolls before stuffing their fat fucking faces.

I began to enjoy the show, I was surrounded by brainless gits, all participating in an act they believed the should be doing, but not quite understanding why. I played Cunt Bingo, and was rewarded with several full houses.

The highligh of the 'Safari Park of Twats', was watching several screeching 'look at me' kids running up a reasonably steep embankment, not a grass one, but one covered in angry looking dirt and stones like you see on a railway track. Having gained the attention of the adult apes, the kids fled headlong back down. All but one realised their gravitional folly and slowed. One was to eager to please and would not, then could not stop, the look on her face as she passed the point of no return was chilling. She had picked up a fair old velocity before she eventually took off, the silence before impact was palpable and in all honesty I had to turn away. She bounced up like a stabbed rat and ran, back down the path, not a wail, cry or whimper to be heard. The sign of real pain.

When we had reached the furthest most point, the crowds had thinned out, but was still sufficient in size to pack out the single cafe. As we turned to head back, the heavens opened and the rain came down in a torrent. I watched with glee as the gaggle of arse-candles began to bray and hoot, while dashing back towards the car park. I slowed my pace, already soaked, and breathed in the freshening air and quieting path. Even my English friends started to run, but it was a mile away, what was the rush?

We drove back to town in near silence, me wet, gloating and happy. The English had had their day ruined and I was pretty pleased. A small victory, as normal service was resumed on the next Bank Holiday.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:49, Reply)
I can't help imagining Jerry Sadowitz telling this story

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I'm sorry
but as a Scot, you've got absolutely no fucking moral high ground on this. Nothing you mention here is even in the same sport, let alone the same league, of retarded cuntery, as Broxburn or any other middling central belt town on a weekend in marching season.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
A fun day out?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
that's respectable and well behaved
think everyone over the age of 6 covered in home-done rangers and king billy tattoos, paralytically drunk men in suits punching each other in the street at midday, abuse slung back and forth, and the most police in one place I've ever seen. And I've been at milwall/cardiff games.

And this is nearly. every. fucking. weekend in the late summer

Edit - my post looks rather odd now you've removed the picture.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Picture is still there.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Meh. It disappeared while you were resizing and I can't be arsed to edit again
I'll just continue to look like a fool.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Sorry
I can only speak from my own experience, not yours.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
well then, perhaps sir should learn a little about his own country's special culture before slagging off others
no?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:34, Reply)
People acting like tits
Was a year long occupation in Glasgow, and not confined to Bank Holidays.

In MY experience, the English seemed to go especially fucking crazy on Bank Holidays, like a pack of raging benders. Hence my post.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
massive generalisation
is massive. We could just both stick with "most people are right cunts regardless of nationality" and everyone would be happy. Except the Daily Mail, obviously.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Hahahah you genius

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
tl:dr?
Cancerjoy threw his cat onto the road and it was run over, the end
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
That aint true, if you carefully skim read it He's living up to a national bitter stereotype

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
of being a mardy scottish cunt?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Yesh

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:50, Reply)
*yawn*
I never believed the rumours that you were a dull, spent, old poofter, but I can now see the truth.

Get some fresh patter and some more anal tampons, before its too late.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
My first proper full-time job was in a hotel
Which meant that not only did I have to work on bank holidays, but that they were likely to be depressingly shit and busy (Christmas day) or meanderingly slow and dull, because everyone else in the world was out enjoying the bank holiday.

Alt: Not at all disasterous - your mum's vast experience meant that she was very sympathetic to my needs and able to teach me a lot.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:50, Reply)
By that, you mean she didn't laugh at you when you finished after 3 seconds and started crying?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:54, Reply)
I was crying long before I had finished.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Our Father....

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
there's just so much blood, isn't there?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Bank Holidays are for all day drinking
and therefore are good

Alt:
Pretty good actually. Managed not to be a two-stroke. I was 15
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
It's not a bank holiday up here
so I'll be at work. Which is infinitely less depressing than anything mentioned above/

Alt: I can't really remember. nothing memorable about it, so nothing bad, nothing spectacularly good. 16/17 I think.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
i've seen some pretty shit threads in my time...

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
...but your jacket wins

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
.. but then, that's the lot of a second-hand anal bead dealer.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
hahaha!
ew!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:34, Reply)
Is this about AA's t shirts?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)
jacqui's made me a cup of tea and it tastes like feet

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
This is because she picked off the dead skin frtom her feet and sprinkled it into your tea
because she hates you
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Cornflake tea is a delicacy

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
jacqui likes me, she said so when i got in
she told me her boyfriend keeps giving her dutch ovens, i said it must be love
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
I was reading a recipe last night, from an american website
the first instruction was to set your dutch oven to 6...
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
maybe you need to get out more

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Good idea, do you wanna meet up at Laser Quest?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
FUCK YES

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
soz I'm busy now

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
That'll be green tea then.
Tastes of dishwater or a stagnant pond. Filth.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)
i don't do the herb

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Needs more James Hutchings.
Erm, actually, no I think about it... it doesn't. No thread does.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)
This could well be my worst Bank Holiday weekend, if Southend don't do the business on Saturday.
Alt: I was 17 and should have been in A-Level English class. Which came back to haunt me when that particular aspect of The Wife Of Bath's Take came up in my exams 6 months later.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)
you should have just described her tits in great detail as a fall-back.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Unnethe myghte they the TITS holde
In which that they were bounden unto me.
Ye woot wel what I meene of this, pardee!
As help me God, I laughe whan I thynke
How pitously a-nyght I made Them swynge
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Reading festival a few years ago at the front for Pearl Jam
alt: it was excellent, Darth is a kind and gentle lover
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)
\o/
Pearl Jam gig in Manchester 20th June. WOOP!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

W P
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
I'm no Packy

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I got taken on a trip to hunterston nuclear power station.
it was dull.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
*euphamism alert*

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)
'taken up the Oxo Tower'

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
you shut it an all, hippy.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Shan't. So there.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
I KNOW YOU ARE!!!!

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Thrown into "the black hole of Calcutta"

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
shut it gaybo

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
I just about got teenage sex in
I Was 18 and in a relationship, was very much in love and still love her in a way I guess. It was pretty good actually. Her parents went away for the weekend and I travelled to her place and we just spent the weekend shagging.

Unrelated, my sister in law told me off yesterday for having a picture of my daughter on facebook as its a heaven (sic) for pedos, sorry I should have said "It's a heaven for pedos" (sic). What a retard eh?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Yeah has she never heard of Bebo?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Yeah, WHAT a retard
do you have any links?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Basically
I posted THIS as my profile picture and had Darth vader as the cover pic so it looked like he was strangling her.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Oh yes. WE ALL LOVE HORSES DON'T WE you massive retard.
Thanks for that. Thankfully I don't sit in an open plan office.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Oh I'm the retard am I?
You're the one that clicked it mwahahahaha.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
She Ra has really grown, watch out for "Man at Arms" I've heard he can be "handsy"

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Yeah, WHAT a retard
do you have any links?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Great links?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
you done a (sic) in the wrong place

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Really, I was always told it could come after either the word of phrase

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:55, Reply)
nah cos you spelled paedo wrong an all innit?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Ah so there should have been two
Because she spelt haven wrong too
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
nah just one at the end of the phrase, i think

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
And it needs quotation marks too.
I might correct it, I am very embarrassed
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:01, Reply)
i'm embarrassed for you
we all are
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
We all are.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
You were beaten to it by Quinten
that's DYAAKY territory there!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
if you look at the times of posting you can see clearly that monty had tome to read my post
and was simply reiterating my point, you utter embarrassment
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Depends when he last refreshed doesn't it.
You cum guzzling queen
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
now you're a homophobic embarrassment, i hope this isn't why your wife is leaving you

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Its not homophobic
I was standing in a homosexual restaurant when I said it.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
My mate was the first guy in our group of friends to go down on a girl when we were about 14
He didn't lose his virginity until he was 29 but oddly it was to the same girl.

INTERESTING EH!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)
did he become a monk for 15 years?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
No, he's just not very good with the ladies
not like me, I've got tonnes of girlfriends and they are mostly supermodels. Except Sharon, but its good to keep an ugly one around in case you need to last longer in the orgy.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
That isn't "not very good"
it's spactacular
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Poor guy :(

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
29? Christ he must have had wrists like telegraph poles.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
My mate didn't drain his spuds in the company of a lady until just after his 30th birthday
They're now married with 2 sprogs.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
what is wrong with these people
you'd think by the time they were 20 they'd have dug out some old boiler to chuck their muck up just to get it done
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:09, Reply)
You've not met my mate.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I was 24, to be fair.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Did your head dobber get in the way?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I wasn't always this devastatingly handsome
and great with women, you know.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Past 30? Fucking hell. Is he Ann Widdecombe's uglier brother or something?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Well he's not the most handsome of chaps
And somewhat overweight. And perhaps a little undiagnosed autism.

But apart from all that, he's a colossal cunt.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
My worst bank holiday and first sexual experience were one and the same weekend.
Your Dad had got drunk and was being violent toward your Mum (as little blokes do). She had decided she wanted a real man and although I was only 14 she knew her achingly beautiful loins longed for me.

Long story short, smelly fanny=couldn't cum.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)
This wins.
Edit: I hope this doesn't make you my stepfather.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
I feel completely fine this morning.
This defies medical science. How can it be?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:06, Reply)
You are actually dead, sorry to be the bearer

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
I feel like the inside of a sheep's cunt.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
You feel sexy?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
You cruising for a piece of ass?
/fillum
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Never overextend your thrust. You are vulnerable... and off balance!

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
You Shpanish Peacock.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Hahahahah

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Schpanish peacock.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
What's wrong with being sexy?
/alsofillum
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Well, I don't know, wh-wh... what're the hours?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)

feel look
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Both.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Well done ewe.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Baaa humbug.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Then I suggest you get yourself one.
Why deny yourself life's little pleasures?
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I have told the story of my first blowjob(s) before
but no-one ever believes me and never ever will.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Tell it again anyway.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
his dad did it
The End
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
there's some sort of twin sister theory

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)

www.lugaluda.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/abby_and_brittany_hensel.jpeg
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
POTD.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Hahahahaha fucking hell

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
They are allowed to drive, one steers and the other brakes and accelerates
But what I wnat to know is how many tits they have
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
'Two girls one cunt'

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Apparently only one has lost their viginity
But they only have one cunt!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Two, according to Wikipedia
Only one set of genitals though.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
that's just a picture of one girl lying behind another girl with her head over her shoulder

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
no it's not

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
it clearly is

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I. AM. ROCK. HARD.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
hahahahaha

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Did you have a Brandy afterwards to get rid of the taste?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)
The twins?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:11, Reply)
yup

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Olsen?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Grimes

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
schwarzenegger and De Vito

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
That's the fellas
Actually the real twins in question were also non-identical, so I guess it doesn't really count.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Alt: I lasted an hour and thought I was some sort of sexual Tyrannosaur.
Turns out I was doing it wrong.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I guess it's difficult to get much "purchase" on the holo-deck

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I always disengage the safety protocols
I got a holo-dose :(
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Did you stick it between his thighs instead of up his dirtbox?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)
His ear, he was just too polite to say anything.
I have no idea how I got to the age of 30 with absolutely no grasp on basic human anatomy nor how unpleasant it must have been for your dad to put up with an amateurish hour long ear-fucking. He was very gentle, though.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
did he at least shave his lobes first?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Aural sex?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
* golf applause *

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
You have little fliddy arms?

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:06, Reply)
"Sexual" Tyrannosaur.
I have a little, fliddy cock.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
That's why he's so angry.
Can't reach his cock to wank.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
He should date a diplodocus
they do amazing deepthroat
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
This is a very shit post.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
It's ok, I redeemed myslef up there

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
+er

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I'm too three dimensional and heavy for the pins :(

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
...or fat as we like to call it

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
You're even worse than usual today.
I didn't know it was possible. I'm appalled.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
whatever you 24 year old virgin

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I'm not ashamed.
I was at the time, though. Jesus.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
People thought I'd sewn a pair of Space Hoppers to my trousers.

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)
24??
Jesus. That's a long wait.

I'd already had a 6 year relationship with your Mum by then.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:36, Reply)

diplodocus triceratops

do amazing deepthroat 've permanently got the horn
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
LTI

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Yay!

(, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 793, 792, 791, 790, 789, ... 1