i'm tired today
i went out for drinks last night with a pervy old pervert that i used to work with because he's a nice guy despite being a bit lecherous, and because i have hopes of getting work out of him one day. and he didn't perv on me ONCE. it's definitely time for that botox.

the non-flippant reality is that, at 59, he has just left his wife for a 30 year old, who is insisting that he gets her up the duff. he's never had kids before. i was nice to him. but really.... come on, how much is he going to die, having a newborn at his age?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:28, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

let the woman do all the work
duh
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)

why do you think she wants to get up the stick immediately?
giving up work is EXACTLY what she has in mind. the guy is pretty minted.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)

well yes, obviously
if a bird gets knocked up she's pretty much tied to the father and finacially supported for life. Or at least 18 years ish

she's obviously quite shrewd
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)

yes
she's also really fugly. i had to feign politeness when he showed me her pic. but she looks EXACTLY like a pig in a wig.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I bet she'd do anything you asked.
Ugly birds do. Very accomodating, especially the fat ones.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)

stunned must be at least 400% correct then
the filthy cow prolly does allsorts
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

And dirty.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)

sad but true
the detail he tried to go into after a couple of mojitos was just Wrong. i'm the least prudish girl on the planet - as you know, that's the only reason i am still able to talk to YOU - but i had to stop him after a couple of brags. i'm not one of his golfing buddies. urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

What? What have they done to each other?
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Stop wanking.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)

You grotty little man

( Kroney, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)

it's pathetic because it sounds like she just makes it up to turn him on
it was all stuff about her having a lesbian affair with the choir mistress and sad stuff like that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)

.....and I'm done

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)

is she pregnant yet?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)

From here?
I'm good, but not that good.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)

she's a champion reverse dutch steamboater.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)

My favourite.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)

First kid at 59!
70 years old at their kid's 11th birthday party?! 77 years old when they're 18?! 81 when they get out of uni?!
Clearly not well thought out!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)

i suspect this is keeping him awake at night

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Let's hope his kid doesn't want to be an orthodontist
or he'll be paying for higher education until he's in his mid-eighties.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)

or an architect
8 years of university and immediate redundancy, in the current climate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Depending on his health..
It might work for the VERY early years but it's going to be a bit weird for the kid when he/she becomes aware of the difference in age between the other dads and his/hers.
I had my kids in my 20s and never regretted it.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

er
what about the age difference between its da and its ma?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

they're both adults, they can do what they want
don't be so mean
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Yeah - never thought of that!
I thought the rule of thumb with couples was 'half your age plus seven years' was the lowest acceptable age.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Kids don't notice things like that
and by the time they do, they won't care.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

maybe
but kids can be cruel little fuckers. my friend's dad was in his late 60's when we were about 7, and she got the piss ripped out of her by some of the boys in the playground. they made up a song about her dad being her grandad.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)

They can be cruel
but they can also be quite kind. Who knows...they might be lucky.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)

i've seen him, and i've seen a pic of her
they're fucked before they're even conceived
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Yes, well she certainly sounds like quite the catch
And he's clearly not that fussy. Yeah, the chances aren't good.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)

on the plus side
it'll be too ugly for him to abuse it as a child
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Goodness me
Well they say that the Number 1 cause of paedophilia in this country is all the sexy kids. Maybe they have a point.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)