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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Internet hardman Selcouth shoot lions when he's not white knighting Apeloverage.
www.b3ta.com/questions/sports/post1596582

What a cunt eh readers?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:50, 214 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I'd fucking shoot one.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:05, Reply)
That's because you are also a cunt, but then we all knew that already.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:08, Reply)
I'd fucking shoot you and all, sonny Jim.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:13, Reply)
I didn't know Worzel had a shooting head.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:14, Reply)
Hahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:17, Reply)
I would suggest that at 4 m a bullet would not have stopped the beast.
It would have been leaping, and the momentum would have carried it onward, though dead.

So he is a lieing cunt too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:10, Reply)
What if it was a toy one?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I hadn't factored that in soz.
Still a lieing cunt though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:19, Reply)
At 4m it would be, as Bartleby suggests, well on it's way to chewing your face off
still though, it's still sport even if you can't miss a critically endangered species from that distance, eh? Fucking wanker.
(berk, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:29, Reply)
"It was him or me"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:32, Reply)
fucking hell AB, you're doing it here as we....... oh.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
at least when AB does it he uses a current one
that link's over a month old
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:04, Reply)
BUT THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:04, Reply)
sums up OT, like other bits of b3ta but shitter.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
NO YOU ARE!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
LOL!! exactly

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:10, Reply)
So what you're saying is, it's incredibly creepy/pathetic that one would go through someone's old posts searching for something inconsistant or untoward...
... and then running back to the rest of the class to announce a lie someone else said a month ago?

I'm just making sure, because it's quite subtal what you're saying.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Are you and Battered going to have a fight at Monty/Stunned bash?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I hope people form a circle and chant FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
one might also point out this is how stalking begins.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:13, Reply)
careful now
you don't want to incur the wrath of Battered again, remember when he ran you out of Bristol?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
This thread is going particularly well.
I'd like to shoot a lion right in the chops. Then rape it's kids. Shagging them all in the cornhole.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Could be a case of 'lies on the internet'

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:01, Reply)
*sounds klaxon*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:02, Reply)
*puts on asbestos pants*

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
so you're here now as well, great.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Actually I'm thinking about moving here.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Yes, it's probably for the best.
at least here all your posts won't be replied to with "just kill yourself"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:22, Reply)
DYAAKY

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
oh sporty, you are in for a treat!
adam will sure brighten this place up.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I have it from a reliable source*
That Adam is univerally hated wherever he goes. And baldmonkey asked me to tell him to kill himself.

*Dr Mighty Badger, who has a PhD in knowing everything about everything
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I'm nice, really
You just have to look veeeeeeeeeeery closely
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)
I'm sorry adam, you're a prick.
the folks here are more tolerant though.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Thanks man, I knew you'd break it to me gently

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Here's hoping, anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
btw
DYAAKY stands for delete your account and kill yourself, people here are so WAKI they make baldmonkey look like the POPE
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Ah, I thought there was some kind of wakiness going on but I just let him/her/it do his/her/its thing

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:34, Reply)
DYLAKYF
delete your life and kill your friends
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)
arh don't ruin it fris
these guys love a bit of righteous indignation
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Somebody linked to a Guardian article here yesterday, I did a :(

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
what's wrong with the guardian fris?
too many big words?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Too many trendy liberals for my liking *grumbles and folds out broadsheets*

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Don't be silly
People don't lie on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Oh, ok, erm. Yeah'. Very good, thank you for bringing it to our attention.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:09, Reply)
i think battered has a secret crush on selcouth

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I've been at work for 90 minutes already
bollockings : 1, coffee : 0. I think I might go and have a little cry.
(berk, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Why did you get a bollocking?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Because my boss is a nutcase, mainly.

(berk, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:17, Reply)
ahhh.
yep, know what that's like.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:19, Reply)
You're a nutcase too?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Well I am, but I meant knowing what it was like to have a nutcase for a boss.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Ah, I though your empathy lay with her boss.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
my boss is a nutcase too
he expects me to get all of my work done and use my initiative, what a prick
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:21, Reply)
OMG what a fucking cunt!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
HE'S SUCH A FUCKEN NUTCASE

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I can't believe he got annoyed that you didn't complete a task you were asked to do.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
worse than that, he expected me to actually figure out i had more work to do!
which is what i get paid for, like i'm not some sort of autonomous robot who can't think for themselves or something!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:30, Reply)
be better at your job and you won't get a bollocking, simple.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
In this instance I would have to develop ESP
and as it happens I'm not a fucking mind reader, so no, I do not need to be better at my job, I need a boss who can remember what she has and has not told me and who doesn't flip out when I don't know something because she's had a conversation with me in her head and not with me in person.
(berk, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:19, Reply)
with that negative attitude it's no wonder you got a bollocking.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
That's not just a boss thing
My ex-wife had the same affliction. She'd have a conversation with me* regarding something REALLY important - like the colour of the bathroom or where to put the settee - and then be upset for days that I didn't remember what she DIDN'T say.
Mental.

Ninja edited for clarity.

*In the confines of her own head
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
hmmmm
*strokes chin*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
CHINNY RECK-ON

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Bless 'em.
Can't live with 'em...
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
there's something sexist on this week's /qotw about women being crap
i did NOT LOL.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Morning all
I am fucking tired. That is all
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
i don't know who 'Tired' is, but i sure hope he likes it!
LOL!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Oh God, I just lolled at this
Well done Q
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
i'm tired today
i went out for drinks last night with a pervy old pervert that i used to work with because he's a nice guy despite being a bit lecherous, and because i have hopes of getting work out of him one day. and he didn't perv on me ONCE. it's definitely time for that botox.

the non-flippant reality is that, at 59, he has just left his wife for a 30 year old, who is insisting that he gets her up the duff. he's never had kids before. i was nice to him. but really.... come on, how much is he going to die, having a newborn at his age?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
let the woman do all the work
duh
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
why do you think she wants to get up the stick immediately?
giving up work is EXACTLY what she has in mind. the guy is pretty minted.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
well yes, obviously
if a bird gets knocked up she's pretty much tied to the father and finacially supported for life. Or at least 18 years ish

she's obviously quite shrewd
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)
yes
she's also really fugly. i had to feign politeness when he showed me her pic. but she looks EXACTLY like a pig in a wig.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I bet she'd do anything you asked.
Ugly birds do. Very accomodating, especially the fat ones.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)
stunned must be at least 400% correct then
the filthy cow prolly does allsorts
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
And dirty.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
sad but true
the detail he tried to go into after a couple of mojitos was just Wrong. i'm the least prudish girl on the planet - as you know, that's the only reason i am still able to talk to YOU - but i had to stop him after a couple of brags. i'm not one of his golfing buddies. urgh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
What? What have they done to each other?
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Stop wanking.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
You grotty little man

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
it's pathetic because it sounds like she just makes it up to turn him on
it was all stuff about her having a lesbian affair with the choir mistress and sad stuff like that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
.....and I'm done

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)
is she pregnant yet?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
From here?
I'm good, but not that good.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
she's a champion reverse dutch steamboater.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)
My favourite.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
First kid at 59!
70 years old at their kid's 11th birthday party?! 77 years old when they're 18?! 81 when they get out of uni?!
Clearly not well thought out!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
i suspect this is keeping him awake at night

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Let's hope his kid doesn't want to be an orthodontist
or he'll be paying for higher education until he's in his mid-eighties.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
or an architect
8 years of university and immediate redundancy, in the current climate
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Depending on his health..
It might work for the VERY early years but it's going to be a bit weird for the kid when he/she becomes aware of the difference in age between the other dads and his/hers.
I had my kids in my 20s and never regretted it.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
er
what about the age difference between its da and its ma?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
they're both adults, they can do what they want
don't be so mean
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Yeah - never thought of that!
I thought the rule of thumb with couples was 'half your age plus seven years' was the lowest acceptable age.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Kids don't notice things like that
and by the time they do, they won't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
maybe
but kids can be cruel little fuckers. my friend's dad was in his late 60's when we were about 7, and she got the piss ripped out of her by some of the boys in the playground. they made up a song about her dad being her grandad.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
They can be cruel
but they can also be quite kind. Who knows...they might be lucky.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
i've seen him, and i've seen a pic of her
they're fucked before they're even conceived
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Yes, well she certainly sounds like quite the catch
And he's clearly not that fussy. Yeah, the chances aren't good.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
on the plus side
it'll be too ugly for him to abuse it as a child
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Goodness me
Well they say that the Number 1 cause of paedophilia in this country is all the sexy kids. Maybe they have a point.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Well, this is nice

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Morning Two Hats
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I'm fine thank you Sportscow
And yourself? What's the word on the street?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)
No Parking
I'm fucking done in today. Have I got someone's hangover today? If so, they can have it back
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Oh dear
Can I recommend coffee and some sort of sweet snack?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Done and Done

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Are you here to look after Adam?
He thinks this is his new home.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
No no no
He's quite capable of looking after himself. It's the only way he'll learn.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)
awww my neighbourhood cat almost came in with me last night
he stayed over once before but for some reason he changed his mind when he got halfway up the stairs :((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Well that's when the smell hits you

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Stick around and see what happens
Who knows, it could be an amazing experience, knowing what /talk had to put up with.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I CAN'T WAIT!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
a preposition is the wrong sort of word to end a sentence up with

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
oh man, we got ourselves a lawyer off!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Only in the sense that one is a lawyer and one is a teaboy, mumpers.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
well this place just got a whole lot better
hello you
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:55, Reply)
it'll be a tough match!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
what do you do, anyway?
i think you would make a good.... mechanic, not the one who actually does the wrenching, but the one who owns the garage, who drinks tea the colour of mahogany piss all day, and sucks his teeth and says, "that's gonna cost you"
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
international raconteur and bon vivant

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Don't forget Media Darling

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
*blushes* well, I don't like to brag.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
He's actually a clergyman
Believe it or not
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
i had no idea mahoganies could piss

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
well, that's why she's the omg lawyer.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
best not get him to make you a cuppa then

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Do they have any jobs whatsoever mechanics in scotland?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
AH! there he is!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE BEFORE BUT YOU RUINED EVERYTHING
FFS
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
you were? kinda hard to tell.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Okay starting from NOW *deep breaths*
Hi I'm Frisbee and I'm totes not a prick, pleased to meet you
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
good luck with that.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
He's actually a dog orthidontist

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
I've moved into feline chiropody now

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:06, Reply)
From lab reports to cat scans now?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
no

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Oh come on
that was quite good.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
well, now you've done it.
congrats you've won a subway eating beakering disk throwing fuck monkey as your new BFF.

enjoy!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
ARTHIRITIS ARTHIRITIS ARTHIRITIS ARTHIRITIS
I really love those Tiger Feet!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:11, Reply) 

         _     _
        /\`-"-`/\
        )` _ _ `(
    (`\ |=  Y  =|
     ) )_\  ^  /_      ----- cut my nails bitch.
    ( (/ ;`-u-`; \
     \| /       \ |
      \ \_ \ / _/ /
      (,(,,)~(,,),)

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
That cat has a bad attitude

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
they all do :'(
             _._
          .-'   `
        __|__
       /     \
       |()_()|
       \{o o}/   
        =\o/= ----- cats are pricks!!!
         ^ ^

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Cats aren't pricks, take that back

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
you would think that adam, sadtimes :'(

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
...fffffffffffffffFFFFFFFF

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I'm afraid that's just not true Adam
In Two Hats' Britain all cats AND dogs will be outlawed. They will have 18 months to leave the country or face the consequences. Which will be severe in nature.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
But who will play with me? :(

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
You'll have plenty of time to sort that out

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Can I get a really big hamster?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Perhaps
But I get to choose the colour
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Good enough for me
*puts on 'TH for King' shirt*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Rats

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
TH FOR DICTATOR!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Yes, yes
Only then will we have Peace
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
that looks more like a squirrel than a cat

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
it's a mouse

     !!!!          
  !!!!!!!!         
!!!!!!!!!!!   O_O  
!!!  !!!!!!! /@ @\ 
      !!!!!! \ x /  --- some lawyer you are!
      !!!!!!/ m  !m
       !!!!/ __  | 
       !!!!|/  \__ 
        !!!\______\

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
People that live where I live would pronounce that 'Mace'
Imagine that!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Plymouth sure is a mental place!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
you seem to be confusing lawyer with vet
a vet can tell you what animal it is. i can construct a clever legal argument to convince the court that it is, in fact, a cat in every way that counts, get you £1,000,000 from the other side, and only charge you £100,000 plus VAT and disbs for the pleasure.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:32, Reply)
....my god, I don't sound like this, do I mmps?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
you think everyone just hates you for no reason?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
so you're saying a lawyer can't tell the difference between a cat and a mouse?
I'm not sure I'd hire you.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
i'm saying your picture sucked
sorry for your inevitable tears.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:36, Reply)
well that was all rather ponderous and made you look like a prick
you could have just said.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:37, Reply)
lawyers ARE pricks
i just like to highlight it from time to time
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Brilliant comeback there, chief

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I think it's meant to be a rat, rach

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
What are you on?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
i can't remember who said it first. i'll go with winston churchill. it always seems to be him.

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
It was, but he was saying that the rule against ending a sentence with a preposition was stupid
but otherwise, good work.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)
All quotes are either Wilde, Churchill or Twain.
ALL of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Alright Nigel Rees

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
See they NEVER teach me these things over there
*takes notepad out and licks pencil*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
you've met your match adam!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Oh hey it's mmps again

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)

pencil window
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)
*belms in indignation*

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, Reply)
fancy a cuppa? there's some biscuits in the corner
asda smartprice variety box, no less.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Ooh, please

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)
one hump or two? LOL!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)
You're a card, you really are

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I have chocolate and honeycomb cheesecake.
Which trumps your Asda biscuits, sorry.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Sainsburys?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Yes!
You know them?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I am aware of them. ;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
everyone is free to bring in their own things
I only organise the general snacks from the petty cash.

now, go shove a honeycomb cheesecake up your cockend and shit out asda.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
My housemate saw Full Metal Jacket for the first time last night
I don't think he found the drill sergeant quite as funny as the rest of us did.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Who's the leader of the gang that's made for you and me?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)

S-T-U-N-N-E-D-C-U-N-T
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Chippy little wanker.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
She got more front than a row of houses.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I hope you're not planning on causing a ruckus?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
for B A Baracus?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Hang about, look out. It's S-U-P-E-R-G-R-A-N.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Mr Glitter has always been the leader of MY gang.
The chest wiggy nonce.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 17 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I am tired
I went out for steak with two pervy old perverts and a lovely young lady. There was wine and then beer and then more beer and I got on the wrong bus back so had a 15 minute walk and lost my oyster card in the process.

I foresee lots of coffee in my future.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
'I'm gay and I'm proud.
I got nine years for smuggling tobacco. I'm really sorry. I'm gay. I'm sorry. I'm a millionaire. Sorry.'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
6 years, 9 years, 5 years.
I'm a millionaire.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)
he so wanted to be Stunned's bitch

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I think there was some 'history' between them

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
He kept kissing my neck.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Funny place to keep a neck.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
At least I have one, Quasimodo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I've got one of the longest necks on the internet, ACTUALLY.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
You've got some BRASS Neck.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
You've got some BRAS.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
i tell you
its a good job i'm not ill right now, cos if i was i would go home to my bed and rest for a few hours until i felt better, but i'm not ill because i don't get ill so its ok
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Are you sure? Because you look terrible
I'm saying this as a friend
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
He always looks like that though
AHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
You really are a fucking helmet, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Is this another one of those words used in a manner exclusive to only this board?
I need to start up a vocab book or something
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I have red wine poisoning :(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)

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