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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning benders
Do you have a catchphrase? What is it? Or do you know anyone who has one?

OR as inspired by bartleby - give us the catchphrase and we have to guess the b3tan

Alt: I am v smug after a long run (these things are all relative) last night. What was the last exercise you did, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:05, 228 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I went swimming yesterday.
45 minutes of just nonstop freestyle, backstroke and breaststroke.

I don't have a catchphrase, but I do have the beginnings of a migraine.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:09, Reply)
breaststroke is my favourite

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:11, Reply)
How could it not be?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:12, Reply)
troo troo

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:13, Reply)
You don't get very far if your paw at it like a bear catching salmon though.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:10, Reply)
'Heads are gonna roll'
Needless to say he was a cock
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:12, Reply)
Stop being so harsh on yourself Rory.
You're not THAT much of a cock.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:13, Reply)
I don't need catchphrases to be a cock

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:13, Reply)
exactly.
er, I mean, what?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:14, Reply)
So the first one is your catchphrase
And the second your epitaph??!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:14, Reply)
it's too early for us both to be mean at him.
and by early, I mean late.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:15, Reply)
That's not a bad epitaph as things go
I totally ran 10k on Saturday. I fucking hate running me, I just want to kill myself during it, but afterwards I always give a big Rocky punch.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:16, Reply)
I don't mind walking that far, but I think running that far would make me sick.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:17, Reply)
It's all in the mind
I have to bully myself into running three or four times a week.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I am getting there
The ex once said to me: "I make it as unmissable as work" which is quite a good way of looking at it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:20, Reply)
But you are working.
Working on 'me' time !
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:26, Reply)

I make it as unmissable as work You should stay well away from me, because I am a massive gaylord
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:46, Reply)
i am laughing

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:58, Reply)
You shouldn't be.
Did I read that you are still dealing with that prick?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:02, Reply)
*pleads fifth*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I shall be having a fucking word with you later.
Be warned.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I'm going to start bullying myself into exercise three or four times a week.
I don't think I'm going to like myself much for a while.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:20, Reply)
Stuff like 'you're a slob and everyone hates you' followed by a little cry generally tends to work for me

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:22, Reply)
that won't work on me though.
I'm a neat freak and I'm fairly sure no one hates me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:24, Reply)
It's the only way I know

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:26, Reply)
Oh, I don't know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:46, Reply)
You fucking love me.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Yes, that's right.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:49, Reply)
How can anyone have a catchphrase in real life?
It would be too weird.

"Hello my name's Rachelswipe, I like cock."
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:17, Reply)
Well not deliberately! Just something you say a lot, so an implicit catchphrase
Like mine. As you pointed out :(

Ooh gives me an idea...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:19, Reply)
Nope, as that would be rather odd.
"Smug, because I'm better than you"

Alt: I walk several miles a day, does that count?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Not if you are still fat it doesn't.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Up yours, hippy.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Alright CQ, give AA his login back.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:46, Reply)
No, no I say "fuck off hippy"
it might almost be my catchphrase...
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Your catchphrase is
'I reckong I can DEFINITELY pull off a WICKED wheelie'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I wish it was.
I've never even tried one of those.

Maybe I shoudl go back to being Eddie Flid.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Alt: that's Al, right? I'm good at these.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:39, Reply)
Haha pre-edit, that was me
Now it's al...

I am excited about seeing you tonight! Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Likewise.
It's going to be excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
I don't think so.
Although apparently I start an awful lot of sentences by saying 'Yeah, no', which leaves people a bit confused about whether I am agreeing with them or not.

Although the words that follow should usually leave them in no doubt, unless they are fucking morons. Some of them are.

Alt: I walked between Tower Hill and Waterloo 5 times in the last 4 work days, does that count?

Edit: Oh, I didn't see AA's alt response before. It's basically the same answer, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Aye that's a tidy walk
Full of tourist cunts, hope you biffed a few into the Thames
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Nah.
I am too busy concentrating on not moving out of the way of any cyclists on the pavements.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:43, Reply)
See I do the same thing "Yeah, nah"

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:43, Reply)
yeah, no, i don't know if it's a bad thing or not.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Sorry, you've lost me here.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Well obviously, but you're a spastic, remember?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:45, Reply)
*throws shoe into sea*

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I absolutely do not get this. Although it appears Monty does.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:52, Reply)
It refers to the edition of Blue Peter
upon which a certain Mr J Deacon flidded out and his shoe went in the sea.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Oh.
You know the whole Joey Deacon thing passed me by completely. I must be the only person of my/our generation whose only experience of the phenonema is through second hand references.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Shame on you.
You're only half a man, then. You know, like those 'ladyboys'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:01, Reply)
You were probably drunk at the time

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Blue Peter must have clashed with Keith Floyd's show.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Either that, or he was backstage with Oliver Reed on the Michael Aspel show.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Ah Ollie. My old chum. What a fucking lightweight he was.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
haha!
Beermouse
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
yeah nah it's not mate.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:44, Reply)
OK guess who:
'I am a bent spastic'
'GRRRR mini-Hulk MAAAAAAAAD'
ETC ETC
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Yes, yes you are.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Paddington gave the Northern shitweasel an especially hard stare.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
The Northerner kicked Paddington right in his stupid fucking bear face.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Battered?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Good God, Holmes, how do you do it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:52, Reply)
It's a rare talent.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 29 May 2012, 8:53, Reply)
'Needless to say, I had the last laugh'

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 May 2012, 8:57, Reply)
hahahaha
Waiting for my shit tube, a posh jezzer runs down the stairs to the other platform, pink shirt flapping and blond hair flopping in the breeze.

"Ya ya just getting on the tube" he bellows, and runs full-tilt into the doors exactly as they close and he bounces off, deposited right on his arse on the platform.

I may be laughing til 11 at this. What a cock.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:02, Reply)
What's a jezzer?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I don't care
The story is funny enough without knowing.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
The musings of an inquisitive mind

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I inferred from the rest of the story that it was some kind of Hooray Henry.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:09, Reply)
yes
hugos, ruperts, jezzers or jerrers.... you know the type. white cuffs on a pink shirt, that kind of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Someone called Jeremy?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Laxatives not kicked in yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:07, Reply)
"I don't have a catchphrase"
It's not the best catchphrase, I know, but I feel it is slowly catching on.

Alt: I've always been naturally skinny, so exercise is something I rarely consider. I did have a brief period a couple of years ago of having a bigger belly, which with my physique gave the appearance of a snake who had swallowed an egg. But this was easily tackled by simply eating less cake and going for a 5 minute run each morning. Once the belly had gone again, I gave up running.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:03, Reply)
It'z cuz u iz veggie innit?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I've met fat veggies.
They're the ones who only eat cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
mmmmmm cheese

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I've given up cheese.
And now I'm turning into Ben Gunn.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:23, Reply)
GIVEN UP CHEESE?!
Are you mad?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Desparate would be a better description.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Calm down
Brie-th
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Its a cross I have to
camembert
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:36, Reply)
As long as you do it caerphilly.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I know two fat veggies.
One eats an identical diet to a truck driver, only the fucking Linda McCartney versions. Pathetic.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Prossies and hammers are fattening

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)
hammer stew.
with dumplings.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Eating healthily certainly does play its part.
As does not being a lazy cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:21, Reply)
I seem to be eating more veggie stuff during the day

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I think my catchphrase might be 'I'll do it later'
Or even possibly 'I don't want to sound like I'm nagging, but' mostly because mr b3th shares my love of catchphrase 1.

Alt: I don't do much excercise apart from walking. If I break into a trot, things start to hurt.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:08, Reply)
"I AM A VERY HIGH UP MARKETING EXECUTIVE AND EVERYONE IS MY SUBORDANATE OR BELLOW ME."

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
No you're not, you're a code monkey.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Haha, I was going to go "I AM VERY SUCCESFULL AND GOOD AT WHAT I DO", but that could be said by eaither of us.
True or not is another thing.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:17, Reply)
yes but.....
are you coming tonight? being as you suggested it and all!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Maybe !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:10, Reply)
that's a "no" isn't it?
gooooooooooooooooooooooonz....................... come on!! you know you want to. i'm wearing a really slutty top, which monty will model for you.....
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
nope, no catchphrase.
Last exercise was probably cycling around on Saturday, or walking on Sunday, although both came mor under the heading of 'enjoying the sun' really.

I'm still a bit bothered that I don't have a catchphrase.... "fuck the Pope" comes up a lot when ever religion is discussed and "people are stupid" or "people are wankers" is my explanation of most of life's problems.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 29 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
The Doors follow up single?
Or NWAs?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:15, Reply)
"Fucking Daft Cunt" would most likely be mine in work
as this is what I normally say once I've put the phone down

Alt:
Running - I love it for some reason. Off out for 10k tonight
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Alt: I walk at pace for half an hour each morning.
Today I also walked an extra twenty mins by getting off the tube two stops early. I used to go running but hated every miserable, undignified second of it. I'm much more likely to keep this walking shit up as it's more pleasant bombing along by the canal than it is getting the fucking bus to Old St, and barely takes longer.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
In May it might be, in January, not so much

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Not at all.
I much prefer the walk (as I did with the running) when it's cooler.

Also, did you have a different May from the rest of the country? It fucking pissed down the entire time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
It's because you lied when you were 17
I, however, was a paragon of virtue
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
I did indeed.
Not that it did me any good. Your mum saw through my 'sorry love, wrong hole' ruse immediately. Not that she minded, of course...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:35, Reply)
When it was that small, she didn't notice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Do you do that weird speed walking thing that is classed as a sport?
I imagine you'd get some funny looks wiggling along by the canal.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:23, Reply)
hahahahahaha!
That is a most disturbing mental image
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I can't make up my mind if those walkers are just gay
Or have shit themsleves.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:25, Reply)
Trying not to
Hence the clenched buttocks. Tortoisehead
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Both. The one activity leads to the other.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:26, Reply)
No, I just stride purposefully like an angry BFG.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Big Fat Git? LOLOLOL etc

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:27, Reply)
My mate's nickname is BFC
Big Friendly Chris
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:28, Reply)
That's a nicer way of calling someone fat
Do people also describe him as jolly?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
Very

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Bags of personality

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Actually I'm going to email him and get him on here as I think he'd be a good poster

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Scratching his arse in a tennis skirt?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)
*click* hahahah
Maybe he's the Mona Lisa - SMOKING A 'J'!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)
A1 answer

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Benny, Fat Gay?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Yeah, loads of massive lols.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:31, Reply)
-4/10

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Well I've never noticed that before...
Did you know that if you hover over the "latest was 1 minute ago" bit it tells you who the last poster was?
I didn't.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Mong

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)
You know what?
I rather like the 'Rohan' ones. They cost a bit more but they are so much more waterproof than the 'Peter Storm' brand, I think they're worth the extra money.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I do like the research you have put into this insult

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
It's just, sometimes, those nerds do some quite clever things.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
No they don't.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
If we had a mod I'd report this

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Keep a file in case we do ever get one.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
we need a MUCH better volunteer than we've had to date

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:09, Reply)
*raises hand*
I'll do it
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
you wouldn't be bad at all
but you can be a bit too fair.

monty for mod!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I thought fair would be a good way to go

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I'd be excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
This is true

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
You can admire my excellent new haircut this evening.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
i will admire everything about you this evening
as always
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
I cut it myself, at 2am last Friday night.
I was babysitting and was woken up by noisy Shoreditch cunts and when I couldn't sleep I cut my hair.

I am a fucking weirdo sometimes. I am rather pleased with it though.

x
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Current catchphrases in this household:
"No! We don't throw things!" to the toddler (which is a lie as I chuck stuff about in a rage all the time) or "leave the boobs alone" to both toddler and Catface.

Alt: Ran 8 miles yesterday, first decent run since the marathon. It was a bit hot.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 9:59, Reply)
We decided with our second to refer to breastfeeding as "Milk"
After our previous experience of the other one loudly demanding "I WANT BOOB!" in public places.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Yep. With accompanying hand down neckline of top.
The toddler is just as bad.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Yes but what about your daughter?
LOLOLOLOL YOU'RE A PAEDO!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
It's YOUR a peado.
Get the chav grammar correct, plz.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Mine had stopped breastfeeding long before they were that articulate

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:12, Reply)
This must be why you have such perky tits

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
SHE WON'T EVEN LET YOUR CHILDREN NEAR HER BOOBS

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
I know someone who breastfeeds her 2 year old and it just seems weird
I know it shouldn't but it bloody does.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Of course it seems weird
it's a departure from the general norm. Weird isn't always the same as wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I heard of my wifes friend's sister who breast feeds her six year old
who still sleeps in their bedroom.

"he'll move out when he feels ready", n o he won't he's a fucking child and incapable of making his own decisions you hippy cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Also: TITS!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
who was it who said "not once they start wearing shoes"
seems a fair assessment to me.

unless you're sandi shaw's mother, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Or DGs ex flatmate

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
It doesn't make a blind bit of fucking difference really.
As long as you're comfortable with it. There's not a single shred of medical evidence it does any good or bad past the first couple of months, maybe even less, but it's such an emotive subject that people can be absolute idiot cunts about the whole thing.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
After 6 years of sucking her tits will be like a tennis ball in a football sock

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Well, and that.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
There definitely is medical evidence that it's beneficial after a couple of months.
Here you go: kellymom.com/ages/after12mo/ebf-refs/
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:31, Reply)
WHO guidelines are to breastfeed exclusively for six months and to continue until age two.
The world average is four years.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
"up to two years of age or beyond", says WHO.
My daughter will be 2 in July. I'm going to attempt to cut out the night feeds then but I might still feed her before bed. We'll see.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:36, Reply)
fuck night feeding; we stopped that at about 6 months

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:38, Reply)
It's the only way I get sleep.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:40, Reply)
You don't think that if you didn't feed her in the night, she wouldn't wake in the night?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
You don't think we haven't tried that?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Sorry, we've had a similar conversation before.
It's easy to forget that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Yeah.
Most of my parenting decisions are made out of sheer convenience so when feeding and co-sleeping maximised everyone's sleep we went with that. The night wakings aren't too bad now but the early mornings are a killer.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:49, Reply)
We had to bribe my son with a new toy in the end.
He was about two years, eight months.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Mumsnet is losing it's appeal suddenly

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I don't know
I'm thinking of joining...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
"Well, speaking as a mother..."
NOBODY IS EVER WRONG ON MUMSNET
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:47, Reply)
the world average life expectancy is less than 50.
I don't think that's a very good argument.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:48, Reply)
It was less an argument, more a statement.
I imagine that one of the reasons the world average is high is because it includes very poor countries where food is scarce and breastfeeding is a free, nutritious option.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I know, I don't think I really meant argument tbh
It's just an interesting area - I know no-one here is doing it but it's amazing how some people will use the "but look, everyone in third world coutries does x and y so it must good" as a justification for a first world choice when if people just stopped and thought for a single second they would see how idiotically retarded that is.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Agreed. Likewise with the prehistoric argument.
I've spent long enough digging up prehistoric homes and tombs to realise I'd like a somewhat more comfortable life than that, please.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 11:02, Reply)
OK, I don't want to argue about it
because it's not my place to, and I don't have a strong opinion either way. But you're a scientist... There is no study on anything like this that is able to separate out the actual effect of breast milk with the million other social-economic effects that are going to interfere with the outcome. You can't just take a couple of thousand mothers and lock up for a couple of years them in the controlled environment necessary to have any hope of relevant data.

I don't think it's bad. Logic suggests it's probably good, of course, but there's not any solid evidence and certainly nothing to vaguely back up the level of shit that the fanatics at the extreme end sling at anyone that dares question their choices.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:47, Reply)
There was an article in the Guardian this weekend that said pretty much precisely that.
Still it gives us another weapon with which to judge people.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Oh, totally.
Yeah, I saw that article. Was interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Sure, there's never going to be that controlled an experiment
but that's the same for many, many things and I think the evidence that is coming out of the studies is indicative of breastfeeding being beneficial. Inferences can be drawn. Scientists aren't always working with cut-and-dried binary results. And fanatics are fanatics - I don't really care how other people feed their child; I care how I feed mine. I wouldn't get worked up over formula feeding but I did raise an eyebrow at the women I saw pouring coke into her child's sippy cup last week.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Oh, I know
but some things are easier to isolate than others, and this is one of the harder ones.

It's about nothing other than personal choice, of course. I just find it interesting the totally out-of-proportion response it generates from some sectors, tbh, and that some people think they have the right to preach about something they don't have any evidence to back up.

Although I think you'd have been justified in fucking cokemum's shit RIGHT up.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Not once they've got a mouthfull of fucking TEETH, more like

(berk, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:22, Reply)
They learn not to bite
eventually.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
your cock must have been raw

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Worth it in the end.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:53, Reply)
No catchphrase
I don't really count it as exercise any more but probably about an hour ago when I cycled in to work. Failing that I played tennis at the weekend and I was going to go for a run last night except, err, I went to the pub instead.
But I walked there so that makes it ok.
(berk, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Back in the office today, this sucks harder than your ex-boyfriend in a public toilet
"Drugs are cool mmmkay"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Well we're all going for luvvery pizze this evening and you aren't coming
because you're a BENT FUCKING SPASTIC so there. Bent cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:13, Reply)
tbh mini ape is teething badly so I'm exhausted and she needs me home really
spo I would have ended up bailing anyway.

I'll assume you were typing your bile fuelled post through tears of sadness and gut wrenching disappointment
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I am genuinely disappointed.
Next time, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
maybe, maybe
although it would ruin my air of mystery
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Just fuck already you two

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Morning Yoda.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Just sandpaper the gums to get the teeth through
Problem solved
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
sounds like a plan, what grain should I use?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Start on a coarse one
then move down to wet and dry
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
1200
no need to be cruel about it
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
My catchphase at home is "daddy tax!" as I steal sweets and crisps from she-ra
But I nicked it off here so it doesn't count. I also nicked the "And that kids is how I met your mother" line from here which I say anytime there is any gruesome or scary moment on the telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Totally stealing "Daddy Tax"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:17, Reply)
i can see that coming up at pizza-bash tonight
which will be horrifically creepy, given the lack of kids
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)

steal sweets and crisps from she-ra insist on a bumming to recoup the cost of being a father
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Mine is 'whilst you're up, can I have a beer from the fridge please?'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:21, Reply)
My kids know Daddy drinks "mucky beer"
and tell me off as "If you have too much you will fall down". They refuse point blank to believe that Mrs Cow drinks anything other than pop
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:23, Reply)
My eldest is so used to my beer drinking that she often refers to her own beverage as "Beer Milk" or "Beer Juice"
We thought it was funny until we had to explain it to the nursery.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
this is brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
My son gets annoyed and always informs on her if he sees Mrs Dupinblue drinking beer.
"Daddy! She's drinking your beer!"
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
wait...
is your user name "tangled up in blue" or " tangled dupinblue"?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:30, Reply)
How many Ds can you see?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:32, Reply)
ok
tangle dupinblue

what's a dupinblue?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
It's like your mum's film career.
Hang on, that's 'ended up in blue'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:43, Reply)
You do know this isn't my real name, don't you?
I've just split the name to give a surname that amused me. That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:44, Reply)
It's not your reall name?
You bloody charlatan, you.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Sorry Mr Pe

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:56, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 11:18, Reply)
I often tell mine to fetch me a beer
unfortunately there's never any beer in the house.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Fucks sake
They know where Sainsburys is, don't they?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Bit posh for the likes of me
Nearest ones in the city 15 miles away
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Speaking of words
How the hell could I only find out yesterday that being sodomized means being done up the bum. I thought it meant being compromised or weakened, or that you feel cheated. I've told tons of people I've been sodomized before. Everything is starting to fall into place now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Oh, genuine LOL right now
I'm sorry, Baz, I do feel for you, but that's proper funny.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
This is why your girlfriend dumped you
she thought you were being annally violated serveral times a night by some Russian sailors
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)

she thought

edit - annally violated? is that up the arse, but only once a year?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Wouldn't that be annually?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
that's the joke.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Oh.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:50, Reply)
If it's any consolation, I don't think it was a good joke.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:56, Reply)
You silly bugger.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha*has heart attack*ahahahahahahahah
*flatlines*
*recovers a bit*
ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahhaah
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Oh dear, that brilliant far better than when I found out it wasn't a window still, my parents though it cute and let me carry on saying it
I got my own back a few years later when I discovered that my mum thought that if you wanted Suzanne Vega you would find her at the Leisure Centre.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:27, Reply)
In fairness it's a decent enough phrase to mean 'fucked over'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:30, Reply)
"I'm feeling quite sodomized right now".
For fuck sake Barry, for fuck sake.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I think that's OK.
No worse than 'I've been shafted' is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:48, Reply)
you shouldn't have admitted this before tonight
there will be MUCH mocking
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Don't forget to mock him for being a moping alcoholic consumerist pussy as well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:33, Reply)
As long as he doesn't get sodomized.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:34, Reply)
By Barry's definition he has been sodomized fucking hard by his girlfriend
in fact she sodomised him so hard he's turned to drink
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:35, Reply)
:(

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 29 May 2012, 10:50, Reply)

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