I have new shoes.
They are not bent.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:41, 49 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yes they are

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:50, Reply)

What are they?
I'm stuck in the departure lounge bored out of my mind.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:53, Reply)

You wear them on your feet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:55, Reply)

I've been doing it wrong for years
no wonder the woman in Schuh looked at me weird this afternoon.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:56, Reply)

it was your musk of pure sex
she were dripping fanny batter everywhere after you left
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:03, Reply)

Gucinari
Italian leather, perforation detail, three eyelet.

Hand stitching on the soles too.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:01, Reply)

GAY!!!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:02, Reply)

I know you are, but what am I?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:06, Reply)

Seriously? That's the best you can do? Oh Plumdozer, you used to be cool.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:10, Reply)

I can do better Al, but I'm using my phone so not so easy to type a 'devastating' putdown.
You've never thought I'm cool. But I was listening to Slayer earlier on.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:12, Reply)

I seriously doubt that

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:05, Reply)

His shoes are so bent even you wouldn't give him one.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:09, Reply)

damnit
that's bad. I am a notorious whore
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:27, Reply)

if you can find it I'll let you hold my willy
50 p
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:54, Reply)

Don't
fall for it, Captain. I think he means scold rather than hold.

Of course, you could always call his bluff, whip out a kettle and scald the miniscule object.

Blame dyslexia.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:02, Reply)

no
now leave me alone, I'm recording.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:04, Reply)

*puts kettle on*
*makes tea*

oh.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:13, Reply)

it'll take both hands to lift the rolls of flab

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:13, Reply)

I'm not talking about your engorged cliterous here, it's my small penis i'm on about

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:15, Reply)

Clitoris Allsorts, best of all confectionary.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:18, Reply)

I'd avoid the ones with the little nobbly bits on.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:23, Reply)

pff!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:23, Reply)

Do
they have bows on them and animal tracks on the soles?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:46, Reply)

I think he replied in the wrong place
because he's distracted by laying down some dirty beats and phat rhymes.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:06, Reply)

DJing actually

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:08, Reply)

GAY!!!!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:10, Reply)

It's entirely Mo Wax stuff, recording from vinyl.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:14, Reply)

SUPERGAY!!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:17, Reply)

I'll send you a link when I'm finished.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:21, Reply)

He
gets his "D"s and his "B"s mixed up.

I blame the school he attended.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:21, Reply)

I blame his prediliction for putting mens penises in his bottom.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Are you suggesting he's actually into B&D rather than D&B?
Or is he playing D&D in a B&B?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Probably
more BJ's than DJs.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

It's not D&B.
D&B is far far beyond my capabilities to mix. There are few greater pleasures in life though than hearing a well structured, well mixed D&B set.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

You're
right, Al but I reckon he's recording the high-pitched screams of the Chinese schoolgirls he's locked in his cupboard and is whipping with his chilli-wrapped cock.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:12, Reply)

I bet they are.
Would somebody please fetch me chocolate? kthxbai
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:22, Reply)

There's
no chocolate, but there's some Clitoris Allsorts up there.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:24, Reply)

I'll pass, thanks.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:25, Reply)

They're
seventy per cent clitoris butter. Made by Mills & Boon.

No, that's not right. Something and Green.

And it's maybe batter rather than butter.

I don't know, I'm getting old.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:29, Reply)

mmm. yum.



*boaks*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Would somebody please fetch me all the details of your boring life please?
Oh, that's right, they're already here.

What's up b3th? Why the need for chocolate?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:26, Reply)

an X chromosome
What's up with you, baldy? Enjoy shitting in a field last weekend?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Not so much. Got very cold and wet which let to me missing two days of work this week feeling ill.
On the plus side I got to hang out with Clenders and BGB and sleep in my van, which always feels like a little adventure.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Excellent.
As you were.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:36, Reply)

I did have a shit whilst resting my well proportioned buttocks against the back of my van.
It was one of the most pleasant bowel movements I had all weekend as I could feel a gentle breeze wafting while I stared out over some green fields and a herd of Monkjack deer.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:42, Reply)

You're all class, Al.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Muntjack.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:46, Reply)

Pervert

(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:53, Reply)

Please
show your workings by means of the Brstol Stool Chart.

Actually, please don't.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:57, Reply)