I swear I just saw Baked Ape.
When did you last see an OT poster's doppelganger?

Zero points for swipe/ an orang utan, Battered/ a dwarf, me/ that clown cunt etc.

Alt: I really don't feel 'alright' today, when did you last feel a bit under the weather? Darth can sit this one out.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:04, 120 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I saw a fat ugly cunt in a 'comedy' t-shirt this morning.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:14, Reply)

haha you saw yourself in a mirror!
Geddit? I'm saying you saw your own reflection!

ROFPMSL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:19, Reply)

No I don't get it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:20, Reply)

I'M SAYING THAT YOU'RE A FAT UGLY CUNT IN A 'COMEDY' T SHIRT!
LOL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:24, Reply)

I'm wearing a black jumper

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:25, Reply)

baby that's hot

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Well, that's nice and everything, but I don't know what that has to do with your 'joke'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:31, Reply)

I was saying, jocularly, that you are an obese and facially repellent person with execrable fashion sense.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:33, Reply)

But I'm not though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:33, Reply)

If you say so.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:34, Reply)

I just did.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:36, Reply)

^ upset ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Well I know I've had enough top banter for one morning.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:42, Reply)

it's difficult to exceed this level of #LEDGEBANTZ

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:43, Reply)

Everything is Jockular with you, wee-Jimmy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:36, Reply)

och ye ken fit like eh
Ahm weel teuchter ken.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:39, Reply)

that nakers cunt is on my train.
Smug face, slicked back hair, navy blue blazer, pink shirt, cream chinos, blue brogues with purple laces.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:18, Reply)

I ent I'm in my car




Cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:34, Reply)

yer it does sound just like you though eh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Hi, its me, PJ, one time saviour of OT, but no longer.
Just popping in to say, this thread is shit, dozer is shit, I hate dozer and I hope he dies painfully in a car accident at some point today. Hurry it up now.
( Peej, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:26, Reply)

I hope Pakistanis blind him in an acid attack.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:27, Reply)

oh man i thought we were internet m8s

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:27, Reply)

Thats not how it works. If you want to be my friend you have to pay me.

( Peej, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:30, Reply)

alright The Baroness

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:31, Reply)

ok that did make me laugh

( Peej, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:36, Reply)

haha right she's an escort haha and her fees are for 'companionship only' haha sexworker haha

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:38, Reply)

bet she'd double them for you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:43, Reply)

I'm going for a fag. That had better be deleted by the time I come back.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:44, Reply)

It was a long fag break :( RIP ch*mpy

( Peej, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:50, Reply)

We'll always have that link to the site for film subtitles to remember him by

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:53, Reply)

I'm usually the best looking guy in the room.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:57, Reply)

You're usually in an empty room

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:59, Reply)

You wish Brittas

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:33, Reply)

I wish you were on fire.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:35, Reply)

People spitting in the street is disgusting.
Including when they do it on the floor.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:42, Reply)

^ homeless ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:43, Reply)

^ Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:57, Reply)

there is a black Monty who dances outside Westfield
there is an uncanny suntanned resemblance
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:44, Reply)

I always thought Bob from Twin Peaks looks like a less ethnic Monty

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:47, Reply)

I hope your illness doesn't lead to a debilitating and degenerative disease that eventually kills you, alone and covered in your own shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:47, Reply)

It won't lead to bent spasticity, it's just a mild cold.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Upset^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:50, Reply)

^ NHS statistician ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:51, Reply)

26th February

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Whom was it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 8:59, Reply)

* Who

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Irregardless, the meaning is the same

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:02, Reply)

Don't misunderestimate educationalism.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:06, Reply)

It wasn't Two Hats, but it's what I think he looks like.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:01, Reply)

He's chubby

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:03, Reply)

Aren't most people on here at least that?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:10, Reply)

I dont know what any of you look like
So I am going to say I saw a bellend in a kilt yesterday so I assume it was execrable internet person Dozer.

Alt my neck hurts a lot
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:03, Reply)

chicks dig guys in kilts

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:05, Reply)

^^This

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:27, Reply)

Try wanking the shaft rather than bobbing your head

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:16, Reply)

But I am so close

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:19, Reply)

bit too much info here
eeeow
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Right, I'm going to nip out for a couple of hours
Can you lot sort it out and get things moving by the time I return?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:26, Reply)

fucking fire drill
i have a meeting in 4 minutes. fucking fuck fuck.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Utterly pointless
You can't put out a fire with a drill
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:28, Reply)

hi jeff

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:30, Reply)

You can start a fire with a drill though...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:45, Reply)

I drilled YM last night and I was on FIRE!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:51, Reply)

She does need lubing up a bit more nowadays

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

chilli powder lube lols

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:52, Reply)

I was on fire because I caught a urinary tract infection from his mum.
something about yeast.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:00, Reply)

I don't know what anyone looks like
The only pictures I've seen have cocks drawn on the faces.
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:50, Reply)

You were looking in a mirror.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:51, Reply)

OH MAN! Did I fall asleep at the frat party AGAIN???
Those crazy japesters
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:56, Reply)

TO-GA!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Been vomiting most of the night. Undercooked chicken I suspect.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 9:59, Reply)

You were looking in a mirror.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:00, Reply)

school boy error

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:05, Reply)

Yes. I'm now at the soft play centre. Not a good way to recover.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Ask your mum to let you get out of the pit.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:25, Reply)

Morning
It's the Wednesday Morning of the Long Knives here, so far spotted 3 people having a chat with a couple of directors and then shaking hands, getting their stuff and heading off. Redundancies! Of course my response is to go on the internet and ramble about it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:41, Reply)

hide under your desk until it's over

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 10:42, Reply)

I don't really know what you all look like so erm. no.
The only place I see people with as many piercings as Dozer is Hippy Green in Newcastle where the goths hang out.
I see many an auburn beauty, but are they RSwipe?
I see many a sneering cunt, but are they all Rory?

I was feeling a bit peaky last night but Im over it now. If someone gets a cold in an air conditioned office, chances are you're going to get summat.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:08, Reply)

or something about AIDS

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Slow on here today!
I am going to run out of work to do at this rate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:12, Reply)

where was cat spotted??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:16, Reply)

outside cancer joy's house

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:18, Reply)

but pancake day was in february
and stunned doesn't live on a massive main road
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:29, Reply)

a story about a cat
www.b3ta.com/questions/deadbodies/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:20, Reply)

you can be quite eloquent when you try

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:28, Reply)

i might write a sit com

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:33, Reply)

not that eloquent
i has a meeting with someone from sky at the hospital club tonight. eeeeek.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:39, Reply)

good luck
You could be the n ew "Miranda"!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)

ha, he's going to give us feedback on how to sell it
i think it will be more painful than watching her flirt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)

With

lots

of

line

breaks
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:30, Reply)

i was still learning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:31, Reply)

A street over in someone's back garden.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:28, Reply)

surely she can't be lost one street away from home?
or maybe she can...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:38, Reply)

At a house where it could be better looked after?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)

The people of B3ta have turned on you Doz-One
How does this make you feel?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:20, Reply)

'turned on me'?
That would imply that I have ever been liked.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:31, Reply)

You're 'alright' you are

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:32, Reply)

^ damning with faint praise ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:43, Reply)

I put out some slug pellets last night and it looks like the sluggy cambodian killing fileds thiis morning
IN YOUR FACES SLUGS


they have however already eaten all of my lettuces so i'll have to buy more
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:23, Reply)

You should put out some lettuces laced with slug pellets
and keep your best lettuces indoors in an airing cupboard.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Is lettuce the only thing you're growing?
Bit of a waste of time really.
More expensive to buy slug pellets than just go out and buy lettuce.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:25, Reply)

nah, but the slugs love the lettuces most of all, plus I haven't planted my beans and other tings yet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Is this lame thread still limping along?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:29, Reply)

like pissy pants after an afternoon at Krispy Kreme

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Yes. Can you start a new one please.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Done and done.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)