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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How we doing so far "Off the topics"?
I've had to set up new computers and that. Rise of the Machines. Naught but issues.

Think Im over the worst now.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 13:59, 256 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Shame.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:00, Reply)
It pisses me off I'm such a slacker.
I really wish I was a multi-millionaire and dint have to go to work to get nice things.

Fuck's sake - it's so unfair.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Don't we all!?
Currency is a man made thing too. we are all idiots.
If we all just chipped in a little bit the world would be a better place
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Shut up you hippy.
I want to be rich, but don't want to have to work for it.

Is that so much to ask?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:11, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Fuck's sake.
It's so unfair.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:22, Reply)
Sounds a bit commie there mate

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:33, Reply)
alt. Get fucked.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Yeah, I'm okay, yeah, you know

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:04, Reply)
Good, Im glad to hear that xx

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:07, Reply)
Thank you.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:12, Reply)
I am too Jaysum. How are you?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Im ok now, had a manic morning but seems to be a nice lull now.
Are you still "between jobs"?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Yes, just making curries for tonight.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:22, Reply)
Might get a rude-boy exhaust for my motah

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:10, Reply)
I read that as rent boy..

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:12, Reply)
and some spoilers!!
Not being funny, but a rude boy exhaust would look stupid on a Ford Mondeo.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Don't have a Mondeo :(

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Escort?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:14, Reply)
>:(

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:15, Reply)
I like mark 1s

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Can you drive jay?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:15, Reply)
Nope. I would be a shit driver.
Growing up with 2 epileptic parents, we never had a car in the family.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:19, Reply)
I had a snickers bar earlier
I did not enjoy it. Clearly I am terminally ill, normally I fucking love chocolate bars.
Weep for me
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Marathon.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:26, Reply)
Pheidippide no chocolate bars for me

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Weeping bollock head^

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
captain placid loves peanuts thronging his chocolate

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:36, Reply)
If off topic is closed, then Where are we?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Internet limbo with all the other lost souls/causes.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:31, Reply)
how low can you go

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Im definitely in north london

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:32, Reply)
I am definitely indifferent.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:33, Reply)
In different what?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
holes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
He's the cause of the Siberian mystery holes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:40, Reply)
Class, son. In a different class.
Special needs class.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:39, Reply)
Strokes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:40, Reply)
Trip dubs
Flashback
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Watchu talkin about, Mr Bonzo?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
super secret board.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:35, Reply)
Err, doing some restructuring work?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:40, Reply)
What things have you discovered that you wish you'd known about sooner?
Two recently for me are:
How much better and cheaper chicken thighs are than breasts.
Wearing shorts when I'm slobbing around the house.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
'Ribena ice'

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:39, Reply)
Is this a thing? Or are you just pouring ribena into an ice cube tray?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:40, Reply)
Bottle of Ribena and water, frozen to a slush puppy consistency

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:41, Reply)
FAB!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Get a Mr Freeze.
Crush ice, add Ribena, be back in the 80s.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
I had a cola mr freeze pop the other day, it was great.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:46, Reply)
i had a mr frosty
most disappointing thing ever
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:59, Reply)
\o/

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
*wants slush puppy*

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
How good Uncle Ben's two minute rice is. And McCain micro chips.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Pub serving suggestion.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Fish finger butties, at our gastro evening.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:46, Reply)
Sadly Uncle Ben died on Monday.
NO MORE MISTER RICE GUY!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
I don't rate either of those things.
Someone put me on to this though:

Fry off 2x chicken thighs in a seasoning of your choice (I usually use curry paste)

Get a casserole dish and tip in a can of coconut milk.
Chuck in a cans worth of chicken stock.
Chuck in a cans worth of rice.
Chuck in a cans worth of peas.

Oven at 200c for an hour.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:47, Reply)
I might try that tonight. I have some seasoned chicken defrosted.
Not thighs though but yer innit yer
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
My colleague has now told me how good "tapout" is,
And that he trains some Pakistani martial art called krov magra or something. And that I should watch MMA and all this garbage. I might kill myself.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
Krav maga is Israeli I think.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
Krav maga is Israeli I think

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
Does he go to the gym?
When he says the word gym does it have an air of smugness as if it is somehow spiritually enlightening to him?
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
No, he says gyms are "for faeries"
And real men go to fighting clubs.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:53, Reply)
He CLEARLY forgot the first rule though

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:54, Reply)
NO SMOKING!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:56, Reply)
EXACTLY

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Krav Maga, it's what all the terrorists do.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
Krav Maga is Palestinian I think

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Im not one for all brainless muscle men.
All brawn and no intellect.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Cro Magnon

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
Fucking immigrants.
CRO MAGNONS OUT! KEEP BRITAIN NEANDERTHAL!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Krav Maga is Israeli I think

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:53, Reply)
Krav Magna is in Peterborough I think

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:53, Reply)
I crave Magners too

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:54, Reply)
Sporters!!
You seen Kylie's GQ Italia cover?

Arse-tastic!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
I was her arse double for that shoot.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:59, Reply)
Really? She wasn't standing at an angle?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:01, Reply)
COR!
resources0.news.com.au/images/2014/07/29/1227006/459660-ae6ba13c-16c0-11e4-85ab-b94874755dbc.jpg
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
\o/
Fucking hell!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
She'd still get it.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:20, Reply)
She's only got 1 tit.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:22, Reply)
That was hitler

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)
I am pretty sure so feel free to correct me if I have the wrong end of the stick but I think Krav Magna is an Israeli stickless martial art.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:56, Reply)
DICKless more like!!!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
In that case, Winders mate is Fifth Dan.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
I've just bought a new showerhead, rug and aftershave. What have you just bought?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
shame to my family

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Don't we all?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
also; That's "brought"

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
its a dvd, I bought it

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:41, Reply)
I require some chocolate

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
You have just bought I require some chocolate?
You don't know how to play this game, sportscow.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:11, Reply)
I have just bought a double decker

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Hope for those with tit cancer.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:53, Reply)
BRAvo

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:55, Reply)
I bought a coffee from a vending machine.
It tastes a bit like soup.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Did you not press the wrong button?
I bet some spanner monkey has wired it up wrong
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
a salmon pink vest

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
GAY

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
the ruckuss

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
burgundy shirt and brown tie

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 14:59, Reply)
a pub

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:01, Reply)
your daughter to the slaughter

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:01, Reply)
a lifetime subscription to YM.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Worst £1 I ever spent.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
I did say BOUGHT.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
A Saracen Tenet 1

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
Not even in my top 10 Gladiators.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:09, Reply)
the wickedness

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:10, Reply)
I'm doing well, I just got my 5th Dan in well known Pakistani martial art "Krav Maga".

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:12, Reply)
I am 4th Dan Tarka Dall.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:13, Reply)
I am Count Dante and I am The Deadliest Man Who Ever Lived.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:17, Reply)
Come on, Tim.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:21, Reply)
I've had one or 2 Dans in my time too.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:15, Reply)
I stayed up all night drinking and watched Salo.
Fell asleep around 7 this morning. Only got up about an hour back for a piss and a shower. Now I'm trying to decide whether to make myself some dinner or to fuck off to the pub instead.
So yeah, pretty good ta.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:21, Reply)
^restructuring

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
Hey, I don't have to put up with managementspeak any more.
:D
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:38, Reply)
Has anyone made poppadoms before? I'm thinking of trying some next week.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:23, Reply)
Make some fruit one
Peach, for example
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:24, Reply)
^ dull

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:25, Reply)
I think chefs in indian restaurants make them sometimes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
I was managing director for Pataks in 2006/7
I would never have allowed you to make your own pappadums
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:32, Reply)
Shove some lime pickle down your cock end
And you'll be shitting them out in no time.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Does that work?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:42, Reply)
yes

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:43, Reply)
Hygenic too.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Am I allowed to like Dire Straits yet, please?
Just checking, as I'm listening to Telegraph Road.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Depends. Are you using it to force gypsies away?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Huh?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:50, Reply)

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2695839/Gypsies-driven-Belgian-town-DJ-playing-Dire-Straits-blast.html
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Hahahahaha awesome.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:19, Reply)
I don't know what a Dire Straits is.
Soz.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:48, Reply)
They're a rock band from the 1970s and 1980s.
Once did a a couple of songs.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:51, Reply)
just waiting for the breaking news bulletin
where mcbeef and cranley are on cos they've scaled buckingham palace dressed as batman and robin to protest for ffj
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Are they chums again?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:51, Reply)
I have to go and have some alcoholic lager whilst officially still at work now :'(

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 15:56, Reply)
:( Poor you!
#PrayForMeatsnake

^Gay hashtag
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:01, Reply)
#gashtag

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:03, Reply)
#hashfag

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:04, Reply)
^run out of 'weed' :(

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:05, Reply)
cali weed?

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:08, Reply)
It's hot and I expect I'll have to sit in the pub garden for nearly an hour :(((((

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Man up
The weather's hot but you can drink cold beer. It'd be worse if it was the other way round.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:12, Reply)
He's not listening to you.
He's in the pub.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:14, Reply)
It's alright
I'd prioritise beer over listening to him, too.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:15, Reply)
I have berk on 2.0 cos she's a mean spirited bully

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:16, Reply)
I dunno I quite like mulled lager

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Get this, right
In America, waistcoats are called 'vests'!

It's crazy, isn't it!
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:17, Reply)
and chips mean crisps!!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:26, Reply)
and they say it "alooooominum"

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:26, Reply)
Which is how the word was originally spelt!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:34, Reply)
zeezedsidewalkelevatorbiballsgarbage

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Something about kicking someone in the fanny.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:31, Reply)
I HAVE RETURNED

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:30, Reply)
Phew!

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:31, Reply)
You've been on here all day.

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:31, Reply)
I've been on for about an hour all day :(
I've been working. I'm surprised you didn't notice, I'm one of the main attractions, here.
(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:34, Reply)
I bin working too, brother

(, Wed 30 Jul 2014, 16:40, Reply)

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