Alright The Internet
I'm just winding down for my holiday now, tidying up a few bits at work. I'm cultivating a pretty chilled out vibe right here. What's going on in your dull suburban lives? Anything, y'know,........'nice' happening?

Alt:
I'm just winding down for my holiday now, tidying up a few bits at work. I'm cultivating a pretty fucking bored vibe right here. What's going on in your dull suburban lives? Anything, y'know,........'fucking shit' happening?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 7:52, 152 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

No.
Alt: Yes.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 7:56, Reply)

Lies on the internet

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 7:58, Reply)

What?
The answer to my Alt is certainly true, I'm in Birmingham. In a cemetery. It's shit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Nov 2014, 7:59, Reply)

Are you wearing your gothic makeup?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:03, Reply)

Nope, just having a shit.

( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:42, Reply)

Sexy as fuck.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:05, Reply)

Imma spend an unexpected bonus on Hubba Bubba and Panini stickers.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:06, Reply)

I've got a meeting late afternoon
With a new client, some super high net worth man. So far the trustees have rung me 5 times to warn me that he is "very very high maintenance".

Joy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:14, Reply)

How interesting
do tell us more
( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:16, Reply)

He owns most of Cornwall
Might get him to replace your cycling road with a motorway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:19, Reply)

you can thrill him with tales of farty public transport
and glimpsing minor celebrities in bars
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:27, Reply)

1. What Monty said
2. There are no motorways in Cornwall because theres no need and no room for them
3. It would be a fucking shit motorway if it was on my commute
( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:31, Reply)

and the locals still believe in witchcraft

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:36, Reply)

'And orf ar cuntree tradishuns!

( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:42, Reply)

in your defence
you do have the coolest flag of all the whining not-a-real-country independence backwaters
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Its a big plus

( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:49, Reply)

I see what you did there.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Oh alright it was lies on the internet to wind you up, annoyingly it's not Cornwall that he owns
But Imma recommend he buys it just for that exact reason
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:36, Reply)

you should prolly suggest he buy the Highways Agency then
given that it's not the 18th century and it's not private landowners who plan the roads.

There are immigrant citizenship courses you could take if you're struggling with these simple concepts.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:40, Reply)

Yet again, science boy is incapable of reading things properly
Maybe get one of the 5 year olds in the park to explain it to you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:45, Reply)

This is the kind of legal advice I would expect from a lawyer of your calibre.

( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:41, Reply)

*charges £3,500 plus vat*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:46, Reply)

I'm totally engrossed by the mundane details of an office job.
I do hope there's a blog or newsletter we can subscribe to.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:19, Reply)

I would be too, if I had to sit in the park staring at children instead of challenging myself with cutting edge thinking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:24, Reply)

said the office clerk to the inventor

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:25, Reply)

Your obsolete technology is long gone gramps

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:35, Reply)

god you're thick

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Go and sell the big issue
Maybe someone will pay you a fiver for a toothless gobby
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Now you know how I feel ha ha yeah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:16, Reply)

Alright popular beethreeter poster MEATSNAKE AKA Frog and best one here!
Dull and suburban are two words that mean little to me in my fast paced, jet setter lifestyle. It can be hard sometimes juggling the fast car in every country I visit with as much good sex as I want but somehow I manage. However the lady that just bought me a bottle of 59' Dom Perignon was nice.

Alt. Dull and suburban are two words that mean little to me in my fast paced, jet setter lifestyle. It can be hard sometimes juggling the fast car in every country I visit with as much good sex as I want but somehow I manage. However the caviar just served to me was 1 degree too warm and its ruined my morning. Fucking shit is an understatement
( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:26, Reply)

It seems to me you have three choices
1) cry
2) die
3) take to the streets with a pistol
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:30, Reply)

I deleted facebook ages ago now and I no longer get updates on world fake wrestling from AgnosticAntichrist
I will leave you to work out if this is nice or fucking shit.
( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Any news on The Ultimate Warrior?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Dunno, thats the point.

( Peej, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:39, Reply)

Fucking shit then.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:40, Reply)

I might lead Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane
On some sort of car chase.

Yee-haaa!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:29, Reply)

That sounds boss!!
Hogg
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:31, Reply)

Morning
There are several 'nice' things happening today - I'm awaiting a delivery of some stuff from t'interweb, I'm working from home which is always great and I will be having lunch with friends.
Alt: The only 'fucking shit' thing is my impending meeting with the landlord's agent this afternoon. This will not be 'fucking shit' for me, however it will be less than fun for him.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:35, Reply)

^real life hardmanning

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Not really
He is fully aware of the reasons for the meeting -he hired two fuckwits who between them have managed to ignore/hide/prevaricate about and generally royally fuck up everything about this lease (and, I'm reliably informed, others). They've both been fired and he's picking up the pieces. Shame really, he's an nice guy - for a letting agent, you'd almost believe he was human.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:44, Reply)

and, I'm reliably informed, stunned, possibly
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Gonna miss u baebz xx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:39, Reply)

I'm deffo still going to post all the time like some kind of mental

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:40, Reply)

I don't believe you, your street cred is too good to have to resort to that.
I'm goin away in december, and I can sincerely say I shall not even think about the internet while I'm there.
( Glovington, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:43, Reply)

remember to use your best marshmallow handwriting in any photographic evidence

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:44, Reply)

#forgoodnesssake,itsthehippyhippysnake
xbox all day in my pants drinking gin, interupted no doubt by the rare phone call and e-mail, just a standard day at work y'know.
( Glovington, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:42, Reply)

Hey Gloves, are you an off topicer now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:45, Reply)

what I like about this place is that when I periodically check the thread, something has changed

( Glovington, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:46, Reply)

I wouldn't count on it
Shambles has already killed off 2 boards, he's going for the hat trick here
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:48, Reply)

I can't help it that I'm a magnet to overwrought mediocrities, love.

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:50, Reply)

must be all that iron(y)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:52, Reply)

He's still got me on ignore, yet appears to be signing in and out to join in....
....which is a little odd.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I had actually forgotten. Soz.
And 2.0 is broken. You don't need to log in and out unless you're shit at internet.

imgur.com/VvRmhPJ
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:55, Reply)

everybody is coming down in the world now that /board is HappyToast nonce grot and /talk is Morning! Pricks!

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:48, Reply)

STOP KILLING THE INTERNET YOU BULLY

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:56, Reply)

the internet is already dead, dr s just keeps teabagging the corpse

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:12, Reply)

but it's such a sexy corpse

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:21, Reply)

it's not my fault that it's full of dullards and paedos

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Sorry
There was a memo that went round last week and apparently it IS all your fault.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:32, Reply)

shit ... soz

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 10:00, Reply)

#Glovingtonnesoffun

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:45, Reply)

#meatformymeat,sugarformyhoney

( Glovington, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 8:50, Reply)

don't listen to the h8ers m8
you give 'em hell over there.

Cheers.
( $$ ✅, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:28, Reply)

 _______  __   __  _______  _______  ______    _______ 
|       ||  | |  ||       ||       ||    _ |  |       |
|       ||  |_|  ||    ___||    ___||   | ||  |  _____|
|       ||       ||   |___ |   |___ |   |_||_ | |_____ 
|      _||       ||    ___||    ___||    __  ||_____  |
|     |_ |   _   ||   |___ |   |___ |   |  | | _____| |
|_______||__| |__||_______||_______||___|  |_||_______|

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:30, Reply)

No.
Alt: Yes.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:30, Reply)

GREAT!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Incorrect, but your enthusiasm is appreciated.

( Kroney, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:47, Reply)

C'mon Frenchie!!! Let's turn le frown upside down!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:50, Reply)

You mis-spelled 'euthanasia'

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 4 Nov 2014, 10:02, Reply)

This week, not very much
I have a load of tedious work to do and an engagement party to attend on Saturday.

 
GOOD    BAD
===========
     ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:34, Reply)

#pray4crow

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:44, Reply)

it's alright guys, I'm here now!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:40, Reply)

NO GHOST CHAT

                   _.-, 
              _ .-'  / .._
           .-:'/ - - \:::::-.
         .::: '  e e  ' '-::::.
        ::::'(    ^    )_.::::::
       ::::.' '.  o   '.::::'.'/_
   .  :::.'       -  .::::'_   _.:
 .-''---' .'|      .::::'   '''::::
'. ..-:::'  |    .::::'        ::::
 '.' ::::    \ .::::'          ::::
      ::::   .::::'           ::::
       ::::.::::'._          ::::
        ::::::' /  '-      .::::
         '::::-/__    __.-::::'
           '-::::::::::::::-'
               '''::::'''

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:43, Reply)

when theres something strange, in the neighborhood, who you gunna call?
GHOSTDOZERS!
( Glovington, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:46, Reply)

Who you gonna call?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I'm obsessed with ghosts!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 9:56, Reply)