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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My mid 50's midlife crisis cunt neighbour just bought a drum kit and set it up against the adjoining wall
Who do YOU want to murder sadistically in cold blood and why?

Alt, Swipe will be bummed to know that yesterday after going to two hospitals, having two ECGs, blood tests and chest X-rays they have decided I don't have a blood clot and am not having a heart attack. I am still in pain but am not going to die. How's your health?
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 8:46, 117 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
Speaking of bummed
Everybody needs to change their password:
boingboing.net/2016/05/12/anal-fisting-site-breached-10.html#more-461554
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 8:53, Reply)
you've strained a chest muscle
you great hairy backed mary
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:05, Reply)
Nope
Wrong again
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:14, Reply)
alright, you took such a vigorous bumming that the tip made its way up between your ribs

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:17, Reply)
Banning you you utter bully

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:42, Reply)
lol
kind of glad you're not dead though
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:43, Reply)
at least, not before you unbanned me

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:45, Reply)
Woah, did you continue posting on here while waiting for the flashy blue lights to turn up?
Almost Roy Castle levels of dedication there
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:13, Reply)
It was a waste of time. Dr Swipe could have diagnosed me in a second

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:42, Reply)
i googled so much stuff whilst having the baby
that 1 doctor, 2 midwifes, 1 nurse and the NCT teacher all assumed I was a doctor.

IN YOUR FACE, I'M JUST OBSESSIVE AND HAVE AN IPHONE! HA!
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:44, Reply)
All it took for me to be mistaken for a doctor
was strolling round the wards with my id badge on.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:46, Reply)
alright psychochomp, calm down

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:52, Reply)
fucking fucking hell

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:54, Reply)
STOP DOZER STOP

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:55, Reply)
hiya

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:16, Reply)
Morning pricks!
I don't really want to murder anyone.
I wish we'd all just get along a bit better though!
That drum kit sounds well shit though. Especially starting up in their 50's, as their coordination slips away. No.

alt. You whopping great nancy. I went to the hosp with chest pains a while back and they did the same. It was a muscle thing. who knew!

I had a really bad tummy bug last week but im tip top now, thanks xx
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:27, Reply)
what about dozer?
the world would thank you for it, so it wouldn't really be murder.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:44, Reply)
He'd die a Martyr... and we can't have that.

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:10, Reply)
oh i dunno
so long as he's properly dead
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:39, Reply)
The sole inscription on his tombstone would be "alright".

(, Sat 14 May 2016, 16:34, Reply)
I don't h8 anyone enough to murder them, I'd like to throw an egg at some people though
Alt: excellent. Friend.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:48, Reply)
I was the victim of a drive by egging once when I was a student :'(

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:50, Reply)
so what

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:53, Reply)
so I was hospitalised for a week

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:53, Reply)
I wish you had died

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:54, Reply)
WELL MAYBE I DID, DID YOU CONSIDER THAT???????

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
what you haven't considered is what if I'm dead

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
harassment of a corpse is not a crime m8

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:58, Reply)
STOP GHOST DOZER STOP

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:59, Reply)
we went to a halloween night at once mega night "school disco" when i was about 22
two of my friends got badly egged on the way there.

when we got in the club, they were inspecting their clothes to see the extent of the egging. I realised "beat it" was playing and fell about laughing. when I explained, they told me I was a twat :(
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:53, Reply)
they were right

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:54, Reply)
How can you stand her M8

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
the money and lavish gifts

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
it's funny because you both love me

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:01, Reply)
I love my iPad and my trainers

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:01, Reply)
and your big pig pizza

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:09, Reply)
zero points for strikethroughs here

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:09, Reply)
I don't love it this morning.

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:12, Reply)
I love the 50" TV she said I could have and then gave to someone else
I don't know why I even speak to her, its hell on earth watching x-files on a tiny 42" TV
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:44, Reply)
shush and read this
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1041720
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:46, Reply)
Awwww man, I miss Monty Boyce

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:46, Reply)
i found that whilst searching for something
and lol'd.

this place used to be great.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:02, Reply)
you however have remained consistent throughout.

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:11, Reply)
yessssssssssssss

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
Best Sneakers Poll




(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:51, Reply)
you forgot 'hi tec squash'

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:51, Reply)
Fuck off dozers

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:54, Reply)
dunlop green flash

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
you wear vans so know nothing

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
woah that's harsh, I haven't worn Vans since the 1990s

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
I voted for puma disc

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:55, Reply)
YTBOH thats why
I voted La Lights because I still love the story about the evil criminal who got caught because they followed the flashing lights
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
so did i m8

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:56, Reply)
Reebok Pump
Cos I still have a box fresh pair.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 9:57, Reply)
Reebok pump innit.
I used to have these really cool Adidas ones that came with their own mini pump and the whole heel inflated.

Great for flouncing
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:12, Reply)
LA Lights sound like they must be children's shoes. Really young children, at that.
Puma Disc was for kids too thick to do up their own laces.
Reebok Pumps must win for a) the stupid gimmick and b) the inevitable puncturing.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:36, Reply)
I have no idea what any of these are.
I wear boots.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:58, Reply)
EMO PRICK

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:06, Reply)
I wear Merrells
because I am not a child.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:23, Reply)
because you're fifty and that what all old duffers wear trying to look cool, you don't go hiking so you don't need walking boots, looser

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 11:25, Reply)
a treat for monty
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1585675
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 10:16, Reply)
I wish you were all dead
I hope that's ok
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:01, Reply)
where the hell did you come from?

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:03, Reply)
Me mama's gash

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:07, Reply)
and after that?

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:14, Reply)
Had to learn to use the toilet
By which I mean b3ta!

Lol!
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:34, Reply)
Well.......
When a man and a woman love each other very, very much, live together in sin so he can blag gifts and money off her and want to have a baby and want to do something after they've eaten the pizza, they give each other a special hug.
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:10, Reply)
my response was more succinct, you nobber

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:11, Reply)
Which one are you again? Are you Al or Shambles
or Baldmonkey perhaps?
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:12, Reply)
he's the one with the fake helicopter
that he didn't fly into a crane in south london
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:14, Reply)
sold the chopper, didn't I?
Insurance on them is mental
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:15, Reply)
and how's imaginary trace??

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:25, Reply)
Oh shit, Tracey? I haven't bought abut her in years
Man she was hot, like felicity kendall hot.

She wouldn't touch me with a bargepole though, god bless her
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:32, Reply)
felicity kendall is hot?

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:35, Reply)
Was she the one from the good life?
If so, yeah she was
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
I just looked her up on Facebook she's still rockin' it
Seems to have unfriended me though, what a bitch
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:36, Reply)
what did you expect if you sold the helicopter?

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:45, Reply)
She never saw my chopper

(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:49, Reply)
Not attention seeking enough to be bald monkey and I don't know the other two
Sorry
(, Fri 13 May 2016, 12:15, Reply)

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