I'm waiting for some metre-wide clamps so that I can build some furniture
What are you waiting for?
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 10:45, archived)
What are you waiting for?
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 10:45, archived)
I look back rather fondly on that series, as it used to be family viewing in my house.
I'm willing to bet it was utter shite. Likewise, So Haunt Me.
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 10:56, archived)
I'm willing to bet it was utter shite. Likewise, So Haunt Me.
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 10:56, archived)
I walked this road
So very long ago
To show the way
So you would know
I walked the road
With holes in my hands and feet
To make the way
Come follow me
Know you are not alone
You will be free indeed
The journey begins and ends
With me
One million miles
It starts with a step or two
What are you waiting for?
I'm waiting for you
You run the race
Thinking you've almost won
Then you may find
You've only begun
You're on the road
Thinking you're far from here
And suddenly find
You're very near
What are you waiting for?
I'm waiting for you
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 11:19, archived)
They did manage to get quite a bit of swearing out before the watershed, like this.
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:32, archived)
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:32, archived)
a fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 8:40, archived)
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 8:40, archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33994960
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 11:54, archived)
for some reason I thought carol vorderman was dead, turns out she isn't, just hasn't been in the news much lately
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:26, archived)
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:26, archived)
looking forward to a long weekend in my pants playing Transport Tycoon
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
^ has a railway system in his pants
Might pop down to Dunstable Rocks on Saturday evening, catch a glimpse of Aswad.
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
Might pop down to Dunstable Rocks on Saturday evening, catch a glimpse of Aswad.
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
hands up everyone who doesn't like peas.
logically, this post should get about 7 billion replies.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:52, archived)
logically, this post should get about 7 billion replies.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:52, archived)
(everyone who likes peas) union (everyone who doesn't like peas) = everyone
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:55, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:55, archived)
So you're trying to save b3ta by forcing all the billions of people who don't like peas to sign up and say so?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:57, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:57, archived)
K, I'm gonna have a go.
Hands up everyone who doesn't like fucking and slashing horses to death!
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:58, archived)
Hands up everyone who doesn't like fucking and slashing horses to death!
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:58, archived)
you insensitive prick
I lost both my hands in a terrible horse slashing and fucking accident.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 23:04, archived)
I lost both my hands in a terrible horse slashing and fucking accident.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 23:04, archived)
They're okaaay, I guess, nothing special.
I like it when it says "minted peas" on a menu, like they're peas with loads of money, ahaha imagine that.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:28, archived)
I like it when it says "minted peas" on a menu, like they're peas with loads of money, ahaha imagine that.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:28, archived)
or, like,
mint imperials with peas in the middle, imagine that
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:30, archived)
mint imperials with peas in the middle, imagine that
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:30, archived)
me me I like peas
*raises hand*
*all peas roll off fork and rain down on head*
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:32, archived)
*raises hand*
*all peas roll off fork and rain down on head*
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:32, archived)
difficult to know what to do tbh,
noble though his goals are we saw what happened when a left-wing party got power in Greece
the neoliberal consensus carries a big stick
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:21, archived)
noble though his goals are we saw what happened when a left-wing party got power in Greece
the neoliberal consensus carries a big stick
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:21, archived)
The media informs people of lolotics, loloticians are just porns
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:37, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:37, archived)
Well the UK is thankfully in not quite the same, er, pickle Greece was/is in.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:26, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:26, archived)
that is true,
but the chance of the real "powers that be" allowing any genuinely left-wing policies come to pass is... well they won't give up without a fight, anyway.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:29, archived)
but the chance of the real "powers that be" allowing any genuinely left-wing policies come to pass is... well they won't give up without a fight, anyway.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:29, archived)
Courage, Comrade MGT!
The reactionary forces of capitalism contain the seeds of their own undoing and will inevitably crumble before the unstoppable righteousness of the disenfranchised proletariat!
Um, eventually.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:40, archived)
The reactionary forces of capitalism contain the seeds of their own undoing and will inevitably crumble before the unstoppable righteousness of the disenfranchised proletariat!
Um, eventually.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:40, archived)
Marx really should have kept his mouth shut,
all it's done is give the capitalists a heads up.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:43, archived)
all it's done is give the capitalists a heads up.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:43, archived)
there's a great joke involving an ice pick to the head here somewhere
but i'm far too tired to find it right now
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 1:31, archived)
but i'm far too tired to find it right now
( , Fri 21 Aug 2015, 1:31, archived)
I tell you what MGT the more I think about Ed Milliband with his flouncing off on holiday and growing a beard, the more I think he is an overgrown teenager and his colleagues were culpably negligent and craven little careerists for not doing something
about it all sooner
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:50, archived)
about it all sooner
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:50, archived)
mongy :)
I had to click on all the foood to post this you know
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:01, archived)
I had to click on all the foood to post this you know
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 22:01, archived)
yeah i think so,
i hope so, might go and buy some big bags of rice this weekend though just in case. Maybe a safe.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:20, archived)
i hope so, might go and buy some big bags of rice this weekend though just in case. Maybe a safe.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:20, archived)
do you know it's recently come to my attention via the popular page that some of our regular posters are a bit squeamish about the ladies
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:49, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 21:49, archived)
Hells fucking bells
So one of Cilla Black's albums has been re-released and is apparently climbing the charts. In what other ways do human beings amaze you with their stupidity?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:31, archived)
So one of Cilla Black's albums has been re-released and is apparently climbing the charts. In what other ways do human beings amaze you with their stupidity?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:31, archived)
love this photo of her
twitter.com/BeCo74/status/627833803650793472
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:36, archived)
twitter.com/BeCo74/status/627833803650793472
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:36, archived)
Yeah
There's nothing like someone's death to bring out the "She was a fucking cunt" brigade.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:38, archived)
There's nothing like someone's death to bring out the "She was a fucking cunt" brigade.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:38, archived)
It's the falseness of it that gets me
Loads of people who never knew her calling her a 'national treasure', loads of celebrities you've not seen in years turning up at the funeral. And fucking Christopher Biggins.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:39, archived)
Loads of people who never knew her calling her a 'national treasure', loads of celebrities you've not seen in years turning up at the funeral. And fucking Christopher Biggins.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:39, archived)
It's all Facebook this, and tweeting that
and hashtag my selfie and so on
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:44, archived)
and hashtag my selfie and so on
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:44, archived)
i saw christopher biggins at a newsagents in st pancras train station last year
he was a little bit rude to a member of staff, i'll trot that story out when he dies of a heart attack, it'll be a nice smoke screen to his inevitable kiddie fiddling stories
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:55, archived)
he was a little bit rude to a member of staff, i'll trot that story out when he dies of a heart attack, it'll be a nice smoke screen to his inevitable kiddie fiddling stories
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 14:55, archived)
What's wrong with you today?
Have you been drinking or something?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:23, archived)
Have you been drinking or something?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:23, archived)
so on Tuesday I rewrite classic poetry into food gags, and no-one bats an eyelid
today I talk about genitalia and people think I've gone off the rails.
What the fuck is wrong with you, that's what I want to know.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:27, archived)
today I talk about genitalia and people think I've gone off the rails.
What the fuck is wrong with you, that's what I want to know.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:27, archived)
Warwick's eyes look like they're being regurgitated out of babies' mouths
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:58, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:58, archived)
Say what you like about scousers, they're great academically
Their exam results are all A, A, A, A...
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:48, archived)
Their exam results are all A, A, A, A...
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 15:48, archived)
i would take offence to that
but you're right and i'm technically not one
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:01, archived)
but you're right and i'm technically not one
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:01, archived)
I can't say her name
if we mention it again there's a chance she'll come back
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:22, archived)
if we mention it again there's a chance she'll come back
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:22, archived)
one of the most annoying voices ever
never understood why people liked her, especially scousers. she made it very clear that she hated liverpool and couldn't wait to leave. fuck knows why she's being buried here.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:16, archived)
never understood why people liked her, especially scousers. she made it very clear that she hated liverpool and couldn't wait to leave. fuck knows why she's being buried here.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:16, archived)
I'm not really glad she's dead
but I don't really care, anymore than her family would if my Nan died. And she probably was a cunt, a lot of people in show business are.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:23, archived)
but I don't really care, anymore than her family would if my Nan died. And she probably was a cunt, a lot of people in show business are.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:23, archived)
it's like those donkey charity ads
it's sad that they get worked to death, but i just can't bring myself to like donkeys. i don't know why and i'm not going to be a hypocrite, i just don't give a fuck.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:25, archived)
it's sad that they get worked to death, but i just can't bring myself to like donkeys. i don't know why and i'm not going to be a hypocrite, i just don't give a fuck.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:25, archived)
As long as you're not actively abusing donkeys,
you can probably claim the moral high ground.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:30, archived)
you can probably claim the moral high ground.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:30, archived)
Two Hats probably comes from a long line of cunts, I mean it makes sense really.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:41, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:41, archived)
Those "tattoo disasters" programmes are pretty good for laughing at human stupidity.
I've got a shit tattoo on my [arse/boob/arm/leg]. It's not very noticeable, so I'd like it covered with a massive tattoo, please. It'll be super personal and special to me, as I'd like to have very little say in the design.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:25, archived)
I've got a shit tattoo on my [arse/boob/arm/leg]. It's not very noticeable, so I'd like it covered with a massive tattoo, please. It'll be super personal and special to me, as I'd like to have very little say in the design.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 16:25, archived)
I think that fat bird chat killed the flow, since everyone buggered off for a furious wank
What else gets you frothing in an orgy of self-love?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:32, archived)
What else gets you frothing in an orgy of self-love?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:32, archived)
Instead of winding my watches I just have a wank to get them started
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:36, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:36, archived)
Well, that wasn't quite as awful as I expected.
Someone else have a go.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:57, archived)
Someone else have a go.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:57, archived)
I can have a go at being a whiney fat bird if you like, ow my massive fat tits are sore today, they need a good rub, but I'm without a man -wife :'(
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:00, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:00, archived)
I'll rub them if you like lol
I'm only joking unless you're not then I'm up for it hahaha but no seriously, I'm just kidding
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:03, archived)
I'm only joking unless you're not then I'm up for it hahaha but no seriously, I'm just kidding
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:03, archived)
so am I
I'm imagining a massive hairy gash with huge distended beef curtains brushing all over a cheap vinyl seat and leaving smears of what looks like cottage cheese mixed with olive oil. It ain't pleasant.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:14, archived)
I'm imagining a massive hairy gash with huge distended beef curtains brushing all over a cheap vinyl seat and leaving smears of what looks like cottage cheese mixed with olive oil. It ain't pleasant.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:14, archived)
all those phrases: smashed clam, burst kebab, Predator's mouth
none of them quite do justice to the hideous vision of toby carvery leftovers that I have in my mind's eye.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:26, archived)
none of them quite do justice to the hideous vision of toby carvery leftovers that I have in my mind's eye.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:26, archived)
I'm imagining it as being like a badger that's been run over a few times a week ago and the maggots have set in.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:38, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:38, archived)
Christ shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich you fucking trollop
Your tits look like empty Aldi bags
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:04, archived)
Your tits look like empty Aldi bags
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:04, archived)
i need a white knight, where is robin johnson when you need him
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:06, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:06, archived)
/mongy tyler
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:31, archived)
Solving all the world's problems by being an unbearable prick on Facebook, last time I looked.
Before be blocked me for expressing views contrary to the official ideology of the Soviet People's Republic of Robin Johnson, lololol.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 12:08, archived)
Before be blocked me for expressing views contrary to the official ideology of the Soviet People's Republic of Robin Johnson, lololol.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 12:08, archived)
Mr Horrible's already dun a wakki earlier when he fucked and slashed that horse to death.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:39, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:39, archived)
I would like to withdraw my 'Grand Theft Anal' pun
as I don't feel it's acceptable at this time.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:07, archived)
as I don't feel it's acceptable at this time.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 13:07, archived)
Pun thread.
Video games likely to be popular with an audience of proctologists.
Go!
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:35, archived)
Video games likely to be popular with an audience of proctologists.
Go!
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:35, archived)
de crap attack - chuck de shit
street crapper 2 - the turd warrior
shitty mouse - toilet of illusion
sonic the shithog
shitris
bumsplatterhouse
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:06, archived)
street crapper 2 - the turd warrior
shitty mouse - toilet of illusion
sonic the shithog
shitris
bumsplatterhouse
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 11:06, archived)
I'm trying to stick butter down my Jap's-eye with a red-hot needle
So far I'm not being particularly successful.
Anyone have a tip?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:31, archived)
So far I'm not being particularly successful.
Anyone have a tip?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:31, archived)
Yeah
When making breadcrumbs with a blender, lightly toast the bread first to dry it out. You'll find that they blend up much more evenly.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:34, archived)
When making breadcrumbs with a blender, lightly toast the bread first to dry it out. You'll find that they blend up much more evenly.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:34, archived)
That sounds lie a very good idea
Although if you buy crusty bread from WalMart or Real Canadian Superstore- that shit goes stale before you get it home.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:38, archived)
Although if you buy crusty bread from WalMart or Real Canadian Superstore- that shit goes stale before you get it home.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:38, archived)
Oh absolutely
Stale bread is better for a number of reasons. This is what I do if I find myself without any stale bread to hand.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:39, archived)
Stale bread is better for a number of reasons. This is what I do if I find myself without any stale bread to hand.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:39, archived)
see also: tesco 'stay fresh' bread
it won't go hard because it already is
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:40, archived)
it won't go hard because it already is
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:40, archived)
I feel the same way about Kripsy Kreme donuts
They're still good the day after because they were shit when you bought them
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:41, archived)
They're still good the day after because they were shit when you bought them
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:41, archived)
you would have to roll the balloon thin
then insert it leaving the end to inflate sticking out
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
then insert it leaving the end to inflate sticking out
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
2.bp.blogspot.com/-41f2yjgDm4s/VLWY-ijcBBI/AAAAAAAAcwc/TGbUi6k8VKA/s1600/blooming%2Bcherry%2Bballoon%2B%2B%2811%29.JPG
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:43, archived)
put your dick in a vice and drill out your urethra with a 3.5mm drill bit first
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
My vice is at the opposite end of my workbench from my overrhead drill
Fortunately my penis is large enough to stretch between both.
Apparently I'm a typical Irishman because Irish guys seemingly have freakishly big cocks.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:52, archived)
Fortunately my penis is large enough to stretch between both.
Apparently I'm a typical Irishman because Irish guys seemingly have freakishly big cocks.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:52, archived)
mix equal parts battery acid and tabasco sauce to make an excellent urethral lubricant.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:57, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:57, archived)
I have a jar of Louisiana hot sauce?
Would that work if I mixed it with KY Jelly?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:01, archived)
Would that work if I mixed it with KY Jelly?
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:01, archived)
Clearly, this was exactly the kind of wakki nonsense that /talk had been waiting for.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:04, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:04, archived)
Things talk has been missing:
a) wakki nonsense from someone who isn't a beaker
b) complete personality meltdown from someone no-one liked anyway
c) whiny fat birds who mistake bullying for attention
d) epic pun threads
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
a) wakki nonsense from someone who isn't a beaker
b) complete personality meltdown from someone no-one liked anyway
c) whiny fat birds who mistake bullying for attention
d) epic pun threads
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
I love all of these things
Thing is, we don't have enough people to make any of them happen
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
Thing is, we don't have enough people to make any of them happen
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
If they merge with mumsnet we could cover the first three
and teach them how to pun to cover the 4th
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:34, archived)
and teach them how to pun to cover the 4th
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:34, archived)
Nothing, as per
They should close /ot and send everyone over here. Make up the numbers.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:48, archived)
They should close /ot and send everyone over here. Make up the numbers.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:48, archived)
In world 1 - 2 of Super Mario Bros.
You can use the rising platforms towards the end of the underground section to get on top of the level and run past the usual exit pipe to a "Warp Zone." Here you can warp to a later level rather than progress level by level.
Hope that helps! :D xox
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:38, archived)
You can use the rising platforms towards the end of the underground section to get on top of the level and run past the usual exit pipe to a "Warp Zone." Here you can warp to a later level rather than progress level by level.
Hope that helps! :D xox
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 10:38, archived)
alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 8:54, archived)
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 8:54, archived)
dearest b, it is a right hassle signing in to say morning, but you are worth it
love
m
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 8:48, archived)
love
m
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 8:48, archived)
My daughter is a pain in the arse about fishing.
That's all she wants to do. So I took her to a lake the other day to let her fish. I was showing her how to cast, when on my third cast I caught a 3lb trout. Brought it back and I've gone out and got some gear.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
That's all she wants to do. So I took her to a lake the other day to let her fish. I was showing her how to cast, when on my third cast I caught a 3lb trout. Brought it back and I've gone out and got some gear.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
Hunting and fishing are big here
I did release and put the fish back into the water.
But now I have an Abu Garccia graphite rod with a Shimano reel.
Just using it for fishing for bull-trout and young pike.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:59, archived)
I did release and put the fish back into the water.
But now I have an Abu Garccia graphite rod with a Shimano reel.
Just using it for fishing for bull-trout and young pike.
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:59, archived)
morning broadsword
I bought a shitload of Alistair Maclean books and now I think of you every time I see Where Eagles Dare on my bookshelf
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:14, archived)
I bought a shitload of Alistair Maclean books and now I think of you every time I see Where Eagles Dare on my bookshelf
( , Thu 20 Aug 2015, 9:14, archived)
Oh Mr Horrible, really!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33994960
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:16, archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33994960
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:16, archived)
If anyone is not clickin dat cos it could be a virus, soz, Mr Horrible went to Aberdeen and fucked and slashed a horse to death.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:46, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:46, archived)
Actually that's not true,
I'm sure our Horbs only ever makes the sweetest of love to his equine conquests, he would never do anything like this.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:50, archived)
I'm sure our Horbs only ever makes the sweetest of love to his equine conquests, he would never do anything like this.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:50, archived)
I don't understand the alt
mind you I don't understand quiche either
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 20:52, archived)
mind you I don't understand quiche either
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 20:52, archived)
this post without bins doesn't offend ian, also if I suck penises
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:09, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 22:09, archived)
i'm getting ptetty bored of waiting for this fence
what are you bored of waiting for?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 16:24, archived)
what are you bored of waiting for?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 16:24, archived)
That's enough about lunch
What problem are you going to fix, and how?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:06, archived)
What problem are you going to fix, and how?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:06, archived)
I wonder if tyre repair places use that stuff to fix punctures
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:14, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:14, archived)
dried weetabix and milk mixture is the most resilient substance known to man, they could build houses out of it
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:16, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:16, archived)
imagine combining that
with play-doh that's been trodden into a carpet.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:47, archived)
with play-doh that's been trodden into a carpet.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:47, archived)
That's right, retreat from socioeconimic problems into the temporary haven of solvent abuse.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:38, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:38, archived)
I'm working on fixing the school's pupil assessment tracker.
I can't decide whether I've got a warm glow from giving something back to society, or whether I'm cheesed off at giving up my day off to do something awfully similar to my day job.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:15, archived)
I can't decide whether I've got a warm glow from giving something back to society, or whether I'm cheesed off at giving up my day off to do something awfully similar to my day job.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:15, archived)
what the fuck is a pupil assessment tracker?
Sounds like something you use to fix a lazy eye
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:16, archived)
Sounds like something you use to fix a lazy eye
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:16, archived)
It's supposed to be a way of measuring pupil progress in English and Maths, each year.
My wife told them that I'd be able to fix the system that their using, which was nice of her, as it's a fucking mess (few things worse than picking up someone else's spreadsheet, in my opinion).
What they really want is some wizzy database to record all the pupil data and report on it, what they'll get is a tarted up version of what they already had, which will need to be redone every year.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:21, archived)
My wife told them that I'd be able to fix the system that their using, which was nice of her, as it's a fucking mess (few things worse than picking up someone else's spreadsheet, in my opinion).
What they really want is some wizzy database to record all the pupil data and report on it, what they'll get is a tarted up version of what they already had, which will need to be redone every year.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:21, archived)
there's a mistake on this proof I've been sent so I'm going to ask someone to correct it
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:31, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:31, archived)
I wish someone could fix this fucking McAfee bullshit
All day every day it keeps restarting my machine because it needs to 'apply updates'. Fucking piece of cunting shit.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:46, archived)
All day every day it keeps restarting my machine because it needs to 'apply updates'. Fucking piece of cunting shit.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 13:46, archived)
work
I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get IT to fix it. But ideally I would like it done before I retire
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:04, archived)
I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get IT to fix it. But ideally I would like it done before I retire
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:04, archived)
problem - solution
static hats - random lfo shape applied to tension response of a triangle lfo shape tempo synced and linked to chh and ohh decay times
fence falling down - wait for chaps to deliver new fence, wait for neighbour to get home, fix fence
need to go to the post office but can't because of waiting for fence people - wait for fence people
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:18, archived)
static hats - random lfo shape applied to tension response of a triangle lfo shape tempo synced and linked to chh and ohh decay times
fence falling down - wait for chaps to deliver new fence, wait for neighbour to get home, fix fence
need to go to the post office but can't because of waiting for fence people - wait for fence people
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:18, archived)
actually i might just go to the post office really quickly, let's see if that works
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:19, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:19, archived)
haha i get it
someone just offered to go for me, so it's true that if you ignore problems they fix themselves.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:50, archived)
someone just offered to go for me, so it's true that if you ignore problems they fix themselves.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 14:50, archived)
Nah, we just need Bou in here to stir some shit up
we haven't had a good poo-flinger in yonks
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 15:14, archived)
we haven't had a good poo-flinger in yonks
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 15:14, archived)
What question would you ask if you were going to ask a question?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:10, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:10, archived)
why would you ask that sort of question and not any other sort?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:13, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:13, archived)
maybe something about soil systems in Southern China
I'm not sure though
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:16, archived)
I'm not sure though
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:16, archived)
frank got banned for saying cheese and onion are the best
I'd say that was fair
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:22, archived)
I'd say that was fair
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:22, archived)
I hate salt & vinegar
They are the only crisps I will actually turn down. There...I said it.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:24, archived)
They are the only crisps I will actually turn down. There...I said it.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:24, archived)
The local shop over the road from me had Salt and Vinegar Pringles.
I haven't seen pringles in ages, and I haven't seen Salt and Vinegar flavoured anything outside the elitist potato-based snacks that Marks and Spencers sell. I might buy some and pretend to be a prime minister or something.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:22, archived)
I haven't seen pringles in ages, and I haven't seen Salt and Vinegar flavoured anything outside the elitist potato-based snacks that Marks and Spencers sell. I might buy some and pretend to be a prime minister or something.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:22, archived)
Where the fuck do you live?
That you can't get Pringles OR Salt and Vinegar?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:45, archived)
That you can't get Pringles OR Salt and Vinegar?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:45, archived)
I'd really like squash, but I'll have a glass of water if it's easier
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:25, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:25, archived)
sure, let me just extract a litre of water from this aquiferous rock
pass it through a number of filtration processes, then pump it through miles and miles of subterranean pipes into a engineered outlet directly in your kitchen, which can hold back the phenomenal pressure with a simple turn of your wrist. Really fucking easy, you selfish prick.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:28, archived)
pass it through a number of filtration processes, then pump it through miles and miles of subterranean pipes into a engineered outlet directly in your kitchen, which can hold back the phenomenal pressure with a simple turn of your wrist. Really fucking easy, you selfish prick.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:28, archived)
───────────────────████▒────────────────
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──▓████───────██████████████───▓████────
──█████──────███████████████───█████────
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──█████─────▒████████████████──█████────
──█████─────███████░─▒███████░─█████────
──█████─────██████─────███████─█████────
──█████────░██████─────███████─█████────
──█████────▒█████───────██████─█████────
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──█████────▓█████───────██████─█████────
──█████────▒█████───────██████─█████────
──█████────▒█████───────██████─█████────
──█████────≈██████─────███████─█████────
──████████▒─██████─────███████─████████▒
──████████──███████≈─░███████░─████████─
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──███████▒───████████████████──████████─
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──███████─────██████████████───███████──
──████▒───────▒████████████────████▒────
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( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:33, archived)
I am a gay robot who loves it up the bum-bum from other gay robots
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 7:59, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 7:59, archived)
you are exactly the kind of robot that cr3 is trying to keep out of here.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:05, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:05, archived)
He featured as a playable character in a wrestling game many years ago
Fancy slamming Fred Durst through a table? Like to try hitting him with a sledgehammer? Think you might enjoy throwing him off a ladder? Glorious.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:30, archived)
Fancy slamming Fred Durst through a table? Like to try hitting him with a sledgehammer? Think you might enjoy throwing him off a ladder? Glorious.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:30, archived)
In my little Kentish village in the mid 90s
a boy a little bit older than me stopped wearing sepultura hoodies and started wearing oversized basketball shirts and a red baseball cap. When I asked him if he'd sold out, he showed me that he now kept his wallet on a massive chain he'd got from B&Q and was into this amazing new metal group called Limp Bizkit who were going to revolutionise the music industry.
I was, and remain, unimpressed.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
a boy a little bit older than me stopped wearing sepultura hoodies and started wearing oversized basketball shirts and a red baseball cap. When I asked him if he'd sold out, he showed me that he now kept his wallet on a massive chain he'd got from B&Q and was into this amazing new metal group called Limp Bizkit who were going to revolutionise the music industry.
I was, and remain, unimpressed.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:36, archived)
I expect you stood out in your beige chinos and Stevie Nicks t-shirt
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
Since this was about 1997
I was probably wearing a white t-shirt, torn jeans, manky Van trainers and one of a variety of flannel shirts typical of the grunge era that I still clung on to.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:45, archived)
I was probably wearing a white t-shirt, torn jeans, manky Van trainers and one of a variety of flannel shirts typical of the grunge era that I still clung on to.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:45, archived)
I had grunge ear once
that's what you get from getting your piercings done behind a pub
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:51, archived)
that's what you get from getting your piercings done behind a pub
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:51, archived)
are you trying to speak Polish?
it would be Nie Jestem Robotem.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:14, archived)
it would be Nie Jestem Robotem.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:14, archived)
My work laptop thinks I'm polish
All my youtube ads are in Polish
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:18, archived)
All my youtube ads are in Polish
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:18, archived)
Apparently the Czech word for 'robot' is 'robot', who'd have thought, eh?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:18, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:18, archived)
It's almost as if a Czech bloke invented the word, innit
("robotnik" in Polish means "worker", which makes Sonic the Hedgehog a gold-loving evil capitalist trying to oppress the workforce).
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
("robotnik" in Polish means "worker", which makes Sonic the Hedgehog a gold-loving evil capitalist trying to oppress the workforce).
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:23, archived)
I wore charity shop clothes like a particularly persistent dingleberry
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:02, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 10:02, archived)
"Kissing spiderman upside-down" sounds like some revolting and clearly fictional sex act made up by someone on urbandictionary.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:01, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:01, archived)
fair play though, it was raining and you could make out her nips
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:04, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 11:04, archived)
morning
I missed cr3's appearance last night. I wanted to know if he still had his Merc roadster.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:05, archived)
I missed cr3's appearance last night. I wanted to know if he still had his Merc roadster.
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:05, archived)
you "think"?
Or you trolled his autotrader advert dressed as a Hasidic Jew asking if the seats were made of kosher leather?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:07, archived)
Or you trolled his autotrader advert dressed as a Hasidic Jew asking if the seats were made of kosher leather?
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:07, archived)
Trying to log in from my phone takes about 10 minutes, fuck this shit
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:51, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:51, archived)
I just log in and out regularly so that I can play the captcha game
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:54, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 8:54, archived)
surely you find the time to distinguish between Kronenberg and Fosters
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:07, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:07, archived)
cock bebebebebe robot cock bebebebebebe
cock bebebebebe robot cock bebebebebebe
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
cock bebebebebe robot cock bebebebebebe
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 9:42, archived)
That sounds like the sort of stupid crap a robot would say. HEY GUYS, BRB IS A ROBOT. GET HIM!
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 0:23, archived)
( , Wed 19 Aug 2015, 0:23, archived)
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