Let's go 2 for 2 eh?
If you could learn one new skill now, what would it be?

Mine would be to play the piano.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

autofellatio

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:52, archived)

I'd happily remove your ribs.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

i.imgur.com/snbc6.gif
( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

Don't be a negative nelly.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

Yondemasu yo, Azazel-san
name of Anime in question, from a reliable source
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:42, archived)

Someone in the other thread mentioned mary c nesbitt.
I see that actresses face on billboards on the regs. It would seem she's always doing panto round here.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

the mass production of jenkem

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

Is that like the tower block game?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:56, archived)

sort of

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:58, archived)

Mine would be 'self-discipline'.
That way I'd stand a chance of being able to learn other skills. Or is that a bit like asking a genie for infinite wishes?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

rubbing your own lamp

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:20, archived)

plastering

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:57, archived)

£500 for a three day course

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:01, archived)

do they supply the hawk or do i need my own?

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:02, archived)

dunno

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

Our Kes

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:37, archived)

insect husbandry

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

Mainly, getting eaten by your missus

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

that's the crux of it, yes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:30, archived)

flat roofing

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

You could do solar installations while you're up there. You'll coin it in.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

Something useful, like plumbing.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

There are quite a lot I'd like to have
multiple foreign languages, a few musical instruments, blacksmithing, woodwork, graphic design. But then I'd need space, time and money to do those things, and since I lack those then having the skills seems a bit redundant.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

Once a year I wish I could dance like Michael Jackson
but then I look at my kid and realise I have living proof I'm not bent
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:01, archived)

Loads of bent people have kids, Grrr.
There's hope for you, yet.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

He's like a surrogate one for that bent badger or whoever it was on here who did all the dramatics.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

Amorous, not bent

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

my dad's girlfriend's ex husband is bent, yet I've got three step-siblings on that side
and his boyfriend also has kids from his previous marriage. It's just greed for breeding.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

Yer.
My ex's uncle's domestic partner has five kids from his previous marriage. Five.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:34, archived)

squarting

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:01, archived)

i.imgur.com/oCwmmE1.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:01, archived)

I hate it when people don't have the right paperwork

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:02, archived)

He might be able to help with my jenkem empire

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:03, archived)

JENKEMPIRE

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

you're a marketing genius, m8
I should bring more of my ideas to you, really
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

practical darts

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:01, archived)

arc welding

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:02, archived)

You can buy a cheap MIG and some supplies for about 200 quid
you probably spend more than that on fags a week.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:07, archived)

Can i do it at the bottom of an oil rig in the gulf of Mexico for that ?

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

they get spastic money doing that
it's dangerous and they only have to work half a year.
( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:23, archived)

My mate works for a company that service all the gear for that.
It properly fucks you up.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:24, archived)

Beats this
scribol.com/environment/waste-and-recycling/sewer-diving-the-most-disgusting-job-on-earth/
( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:42, archived)

more recruits for Jenkempire™

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:45, archived)

no, you can't scuba, you've got an ear problem, remember?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:28, archived)

I'll use a submarine

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:30, archived)

If you shop at aldi you can end up accidentally buying one on impulse.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

this sounds silly
but they had angle grinders on special offer in Lidl the other day. How many shops are there, where you can get an angle grinder and a chicken kiev in the same aisle?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

also brassieres
I was tempted to buy one for valentines day
( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:23, archived)

get you!
Do I detect love in the air?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:25, archived)

no I just farted

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

Go and listen to The Lidl Song by Andy Conway.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:28, archived)

nd listen to The Lidl Song by Andy Con
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:34, archived)

cszing!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:44, archived)

I just got some lovely lavender diffusers
WITH ACTUAL LAVENDER SPRIGS IN!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:39, archived)

^ old woman

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:44, archived)

lavender is the scent of old ladies' knicker drawers

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:45, archived)

I used to think this, but it makes your place smell fresh
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

not to mention your knickers

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

fundamentals of vaginal penetration

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

wanking

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

if you need help, I can give you a hand

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:07, archived)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:10, archived)

Mctwist

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

reverse dipshot

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

Alley oop

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:11, archived)

some sweet skateboard tricks

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

Nollie healflip ?

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

no real name pls

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

^reverse fakie 720

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

turn 720 and walk away

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

sign language
or particle physics
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

I know enough sign language to say "Prince Charles is fucking crazy" and nothing more.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:42, archived)

i picked up the odd word
from watching cartoon network in the wee small hours, but it was ASL, not BSL
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:44, archived)

Thanks to cbeebies, I've picked up a fair bit of Makaton,
but I don't know how that compares to BSL.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:46, archived)

I think i saw you on something special with Justin

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

i would laser that cunt so hard

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 13:53, archived)

I reckon he has to fight the "yummy mummies" off with the proverbial shit-coated stick.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:07, archived)

He was a bit mean to sarah jane when she got her tits out, won't even speak to her

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:09, archived)

I must have missed that episode of Higgeldy House.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:59, archived)

he's an ugly, spud-faced little prick

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:13, archived)

I had no idea who he was until now,
but a bit of internetting has revealed that he is, in fact, ugly, spud-faced and a prick.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

he reminds me of toby jones
just as creepy, even more sinister
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:52, archived)

Toby Jones is lovely.
They'd never have cast him as Dobby, otherwise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:58, archived)

How to do a sex in a lady

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

I know how to do a sex AT a lady

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:02, archived)

"Hadouken!"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:10, archived)

Just tell me where I jizz so I can give this lady her drink.

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:21, archived)

try her shoulder
if that doesn't work, aim for the wenis
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:23, archived)

target spunking should be a sport

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:28, archived)

+on +a +-ST a lady
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 14:38, archived)

Happy mid-Morning to the medical advice forum of beethra!!
Now that it looks like we're going to be trading with all other countries outside of the EU, what would you like to see imported from the countries of the World Trade Organisation?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:45, archived)

or, y'know, guffs an tha

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:55, archived)

We already trade globally.
Don't we?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:00, archived)

What you mean i can already get one of those crazy Japanese video game consoles??? Bullshit

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:01, archived)

Famicoms for all!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:02, archived)

lol fanny

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:23, archived)

Comedies set in 1980s Ethiopia are well lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

Rick Parfitt's catchphrases "I'm totally fucking out of it, man. What are we doing here again?" and "What do you mean, starving? Look how big that kid's belly is!" never fail to get a big canned laugh every week.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:17, archived)

Dunno, I just pay money for my Reeses Pieces and cry about racism, mainly.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:04, archived)

omg I miss those they're so yummy!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:28, archived)

tits
From, I dunno...africa or summat?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:01, archived)

^ wanking over copies of National Geographic

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:03, archived)

well there's fuck all else to wank over at the dentists

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:04, archived)

Them ones with the giant rings round their necks?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:05, archived)

tits don't have necks, m8
you've been gay too long
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:08, archived)

what about giraffe tits?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:28, archived)

Ok, I have to confess to being way out of my depth here

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:30, archived)

often the case with giraffe tits

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

A bunch of Kastom tribespeople to stand outside the gates of Buck House and worship Prince Philip.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:06, archived)

Krokodil.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:09, archived)

A11ig4tors.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:13, archived)

In America they call crocodile clips alligator clips. Makes you think.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:18, archived)

in france they call paperclips trombones, i think it's because they look like them, confusing for any french trombone players tho i suspect

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:23, archived)

wonder what they call the 'french horn'
just 'the horn' I expect
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:24, archived)

french people stereotypically do have the horn

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:27, archived)

It's called the 'royale horn with cheese'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:28, archived)

dirty buggers

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:39, archived)

Also,
this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:50, archived)

ha, seems they don't even know what krokodil is
it's a drug the russians like. it eats you up. it's fucking horrible but so cheap and easy to make. it really is a total upfucker!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:30, archived)

I knew zis.
Saw a documentary once where a regular user's foot had completely rotted in situ and the muscular and vascular tissue stopped just below the knee, so there were a good couple of inches of bare bone all the way around between his knee and his foot. The doctor just sawed his foot off with a wire bone saw and nothing else.

Noice!
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

seriously though, how great must the high be if the side effects are your body basically being eaten alive?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:37, archived)

well good

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

might get some

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

I make my own jenkem

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:34, archived)

is that the poo gas one?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

I like your usage of scientific terminology
almost raises the intellectual bar on /talk a bit
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:37, archived)

Ta.
It's a reflex that tends to kick in once the guff quotient on the board reaches a certain level.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:56, archived)

muscular and vascular tissue?
yes, please stop with the impenetrable medical jargon
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

I think woodky is drunk or saink

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:14, archived)

seems that way

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

^ wants penetrating

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

I was lost at "saw his foot off"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

his what now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

I knew... It just didn't warrant a response.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

Whose "they" in this context?
I'd have thought Krokodil was well known to be as nasty as.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:48, archived)

I generalise to exemplify

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:52, archived)

Stoop to conquer, more like.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:55, archived)

Arse to mouth, more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:03, archived)

scotty 2 hotty, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:10, archived)

I enjoyed the antics of Too Cool,
but I'll admit that I laughed when Grandmaster Sexay's fledgling import business saw him kicked out of the WWE.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

Female to Male more like

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:45, archived)

Phwoar, I love cable adaptor chat!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:47, archived)

I saw a band called krokodil. They were alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

Did they have a lead singer called Schnappi?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:04, archived)

unskilled labour

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:35, archived)

Who will we blame for taking our jobs now?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:37, archived)

robots

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:42, archived)

no irish!

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:40, archived)

of course not - eu migrants can get fucked

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

Bullshit. From Bullshitstan
And crap, from Crapland. And soup. From france.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

French Onion?
Not after Brexit M8
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:46, archived)

I think the UK needs more populist politicians
so that people can get properly engaged with government again
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:39, archived)

yeah they're all well shit. lol
Jeremy BOREbyn more like!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:46, archived)

Nicola Sturgeon looks like Elton John

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:51, archived)

not sure

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:42, archived)

We might be able to get some of those blue denim Levi's from the us of a now

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:23, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:26, archived)

Nick Kamen is sooo dreamy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:29, archived)

i kno right?

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

Legendarny Smak

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 11:53, archived)

Sweets
Send them now. NOW NOW NOW.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:03, archived)

The Americans call it Candy

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:07, archived)

They also have Trump as a President
So...
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:23, archived)

Remember Freddos, eh? Remember Black Jacks?
You could get five for a ha'penny back in t'day. Remember sweet cigarettes? Barmy Brussels has probably outlawed them as drug paraphenalia. Member when t'EU renamed them as Rainbow Jacks because a lesbian complained? YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:11, archived)

I bloody love Blackjacks.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:18, archived)

And the Dolph Lundgren film of the same name.
Wherein he is traumatised by the colour white, yet has a showdown in a milk processing plant.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:19, archived)

Member Masters of T'Universe?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:22, archived)

Courtney Cox's first appearance in film.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:24, archived)

Is it as hilariously stupid as it sounds?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

It's not one of John Woo's better efforts, but Lundgren is always watchable.
Instead, I'll recommend The Peacekeeper, for it's fantastic opening car chase.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:53, archived)

I remember Helter Skelter mix tapes

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:28, archived)

i.imgur.com/Jy1WfDK.gif
( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:34, archived)

^lovable rogue

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:03, archived)

Alright

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:06, archived)

yer
you're not though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:29, archived)

No I am fucked.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:34, archived)

Going to try and sleep.
It's no fun this like.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:35, archived)

Have you tried calling 111?
They're not as shit as they used to be, although there's still a high chance that their advice will be "go to A&E".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:58, archived)

I am just gonna go to a and e anyway, or the walk in.
But I have to sleep. This is the second day/night without sleep, and when I did sleep on Monday night it was hardly restful.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:04, archived)

has

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:35, archived)

come

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:47, archived)

on

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:51, archived)

feel

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:06, archived)

the

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:35, archived)

only

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:45, archived)

Girls grab the bonly

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:52, archived)

Yer looks like it anorl

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:44, archived)

duno about that m8, still looks like yesterday to me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:51, archived)

thanks, Mr. G.R.R.R.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:49, archived)

coincidentally, I got a hardback edition of Game of Thrones yesterday

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:51, archived)

Read it very slowly.
If you can drag the series out over 5 years, there's a slim chance he might have put the next part out by then.
I reckon he's too busy enjoying all that extra money HBO have bought him, and he'll have overdosed on coke and hookers before completing the next book.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:00, archived)

yeah, I won't read them until he's finished the series
but I pick up books when they turn up for a decent price, since hardbacks are so mentally expensive to ship over.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:04, archived)

I try to avoid buying books that I'm not going to read right away,
otherwise I find that they feel like an obligation.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

Try abebooks.co.uk
I think they ship worldwide.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:34, archived)

Alternatively buy a nook for about 20 quid and torrent that shit.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:35, archived)

Morning.
Switched my day off to Monday, so here I am.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 7:58, archived)

d g
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:05, archived)

The Great British Gay Off?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:04, archived)

Hi

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:23, archived)

hello

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

Morning has broken (out some fresh beats).

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:27, archived)

*spits hot borsht*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

I've never had polish borsht, only the russian one

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:37, archived)

Likewise.
Is there any difference in the recipe?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:39, archived)

Polish is called barszcz
and it's absolutely revolting
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:42, archived)

Sounds over-seasoned with consonants to me.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:43, archived)

typical Grzegorz Brzeczyszczykiewicz bullshit

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

^ World Szcrabble Champion seven years running.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:07, archived)

there are more Zs in Polish scrabble because there are 3 in the alphabet

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:13, archived)

But are they worth less fewer points though?
'W' is the highest-scoring letter in French Scrabble because there are virtually no French words with a 'w' in them.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

yer, z isn't worth anything
I don't think there's X or Q in the Polish version though.
EDIT: For those that care (punkty means points)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:23, archived)

why the switch from punkty to punktow at 5?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:44, archived)

Polish is so complex it has low and high plurals
So it's 1 point, 2-4 point-y, 5+ pointow. Then 101 pointow, 102-104 pointy, 105+ pointow...

Drives me fucking mad.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:47, archived)

language is dumb
we should all just grunt at each other
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:58, archived)

urgh

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:00, archived)

Esperanto is the way forward.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:01, archived)

invented by a Pole
and therefore peppered with pointless slavicisms that have no place in any logical language
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:07, archived)

Not to mention that it's deader than the dodo.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:34, archived)

what about 'haw hee haw hee haw' then, smart guy?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:24, archived)

Sacrebleu, quel silly person!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

Asterix and the two gauls one cup

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:40, archived)

g p
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:09, archived)

Shove your EU morning , British mornings for British forums

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

I feel freer already

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

<s>qu oh haha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

i.imgur.com/mxJ47F7.gifv
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:35, archived)

Thanks, I really wanted that in my browser history

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:39, archived)

disgusting, it is that time of year tho

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:41, archived)

oh christ there really is nothing I won't wank to any more :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:46, archived)

wow
Can't we just have big bang bird's bumhole? Or that one of a woman with a toy dinosaur up her arse?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

toy dinosaur up her arse
I missed that one
( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:06, archived)

i can't find it in my pictures, sorry lads

( mongychops, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:07, archived)

emvee reinvents the Dinobot.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:08, archived)

Slags love it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:11, archived)

lol

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

Less said about Grimlock, the better
*shudders*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

I was going to post about someone's nan's minge putting me in a grim lock,
but thought better of it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

you made the right choice

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:40, archived)

'sludge'

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:42, archived)

:O

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:44, archived)

Still, "Swoop" sounds fairly innocent.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:45, archived)

First Buzz now this, I bet Slinky Dog gets used as a contraceptive device in the next one, ffs

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:09, archived)

oh, it's a joy to behold
better than Jurassic World
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:12, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:44, archived)

that greeting has already been taken

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:48, archived)

oh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:01, archived)

Shit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:51, archived)

+off

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:53, archived)

hello dollars
you alright love?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

yeah not bad, you?

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

yeah, alright
I could complain, but who'd listen? hahahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

it'd probably make the popular page

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:22, archived)

it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:25, archived)

two hats 4 lyfe

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:28, archived)

big fat ones that make your arsehole hurt?
or stingy dribbly ones that spray the bowl?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 8:57, archived)

I've experienced the whole gamut of late
It's been a real rollercoaster ride. But with poo.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:01, archived)

the ultimate thrill ride

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:25, archived)

Hoping for a satisfying pay-off, but you just end up churning out a load of painful shit?
sounds about right
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

and blading is frowned upon, these days

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:28, archived)

juicing, too

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:46, archived)

^mark
+skid
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:50, archived)

whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:19, archived)

^ sarcastic cockerel

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

#infest

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:41, archived)

nah, it's a follow up to lesbian seagull

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:00, archived)

When my mum worked at the hypermarket, the manager there was Englebert Humperdink's nephew
#anecdotes
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:05, archived)

It's an Asda Walmart now
really makes you think
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:06, archived)

this nephew?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:12, archived)

No, I think it must be a different nephew
or he lied.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:14, archived)

or my mum misunderstood the facts at the time
all of these options are completely plausible
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:15, archived)

When I was at school, there was a kid there who claimed that his uncle used to train with Arnold Schwarzenegger
Naturally, he was branded a bullshitter. I found out years later that Arnie did in fact train at a gym near here. So it's this kid's story was actually possible. #MakesYouThink
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:16, archived)

good lies usually have a ring of plausibilty to them
that's why no one buys Godby's bullshit
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:34, archived)

True enough
Although when I lived in the flat in Leigh Park, one of our neighbours claimed to play for QPR. I find that a little difficult to believe, although I can't remember his name, so it's not possible for me to check the verisimilitude of his claim
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:39, archived)

i.imgur.com/hBjAzd0.gif
( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

bottom get
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 30 Mar 2017, 10:39, archived)

Ok where the fuck is 2can...serious advice needed.
Went into hospital with what was supposed to just be a chest infection.

Diagnosed with sepsis and pneumonia after multiple misdiagnoses including pulmonary embolism (?), had injections in my stomach, 4 days of intravenous antibiotics, and morphine to deal with the severe and I mean SEVERE pain I was suffering in my left side of my torso around to my back. Diagnosed with pleurisy.

So almost ten days later; chest has cleared. No more night sweats, no more headaches, no more General feeling of being unwell. But Jesus Fucking Christ on a bike. This pain is no longer just severe it's fucking very fucking severe. I haven't slept now for the second night on the run. I can't lie on my back or my left side at all. I feel bloated permanently and tramadol and codiene is having little to no affect in sorting it out.

I realise that this is something I probably should have sent to 2can privately but I also realise he is not here to give medical advice, but I am hoping someone here can give me some advice or maybe have experience with something similar.

And yes I will be going straight to the docs tomorrow morning or the hospital if it's still this bad in a few hours.

Sorry for being a terrible needy prick/bore.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 6:05, archived)

Tl:dr
I think I am dying.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 6:05, archived)

have you tried laxatives?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 6:07, archived)

Believe me that is not the problem.
But thanks for the idea.

I should have mentioned I have also been sick numerous times. Almost always just after eating, but I haven't felt unwell. If that makes sense.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 6:08, archived)

Evening all.
How's tricks and spicks?

I am still suffering from all sorts of ailments.

What ailments are you nursing currently?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 21:31, archived)

I am not sick or planning on to get

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 21:36, archived)

Waiting for this cold to clear.
I've been congested and short of breath for a week, now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:07, archived)

nursing a semi

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:14, archived)

hellooooooooooo nurse!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:30, archived)

oh, you!

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:32, archived)

Oooh, matron!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:45, archived)

What the fuck are you doing here?
Day walker
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 0:51, archived)

I am in Fucking agony

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 0:51, archived)

Near hometime thread
Get out yer brags, or air your grievances towards this evening.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

What you doing Keybo?
Off to see Get Out in the Cinema.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:57, archived)

Saw that the other week, very good. Starts off like a Guess who's coming to dinner remake before turning into horror.
Four stars out of five. Would watch again.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:10, archived)

Love Jordan Peele because of Key & Peele
Even Keanu. Which is probably not very good to anyone who doesn't love their humour.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:14, archived)

I've only seen a few of their sketches, but they seem to have a pretty sharp take on America's racial politics.
Did they do the racist zombies sketch?
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:31, archived)

Yes they did, along with everything else
It is worth hunting down their second and third series where they hit a stride, here are some classics -
Substitute Teacher
Georgine and Esther
Gay Wedding Advice
Menstrual Orientation
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:36, archived)

It was alright
they had too many sketches where it was them trying to out do each other
( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:47, archived)

Sketch based comedy as a genre is still dead in the US bar this spark
Too much fucking improv in America.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:23, archived)

I'm coming to the conclusion very little sketch comedy is any good.
Excl Monkey Dust and The Fast Show and the latter was more of a sketch anti-comedy on purpose I suppose.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:24, archived)

So no fry and laurie, no Armstrong and miller , no Mitchell and Webb , no oh i give up

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 18:05, archived)

Didn't really like Fry and Laurie, can't fucking stand Alexander Armstrong and found Mitchell and Webb a bit disappointing compared to Peep Show.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 18:08, archived)

You forgot Big Train
BIG TRAIN
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 21:55, archived)

Quite liked that yeah.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:37, archived)

also
naked video
not the nine o'clock news
harry enfield
jam
the two ronnies
alas smith and jones
monty python
...
quality british humour
(ozof, Thu 30 Mar 2017, 0:42, archived)

I give that four bags of popcorn and two cokes

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:19, archived)

Sweet or salted cokes?

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:39, archived)

No I take it back
five popcorns and no drinks
( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:42, archived)

actually no
just four tubs of popcorn and one drink
( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:46, archived)

a glass of water

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:46, archived)

Come back when you have this sorted
Although I would see a film if the review on the poster said "A glass of water"
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:59, archived)

I'd give that a perfect 5/7

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

I see the casting of a British person in that has upset Sam Jackson.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:37, archived)

He is no arbiter on the quality of Black American actors

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:40, archived)

He's sick of these muthafukin' limeys on the muthafukin' stage.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:44, archived)

grievance is
that i went over to the shop earlier and the bloke behind the counter asked if i used to be a stripper. apparently, someone's been playing silly buggers.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

I hoped you paid for your purchases by shoving a fiver into his waistband.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

no, i only had a quid

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:22, archived)

+ in 1's and 2's

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:23, archived)

mm, jingly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:40, archived)

Peoples chat up patter these days is shocking

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:41, archived)

just because she dances go-go, it don't make her a ho no

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:44, archived)

why, you're pretty enough to be a sex worker!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:45, archived)

"are you a page three model? because you could be if you wanted to be..."

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:13, archived)

he doesn't stand a chance

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:51, archived)

spin me around and shove it up my bum

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:54, archived)

I still don't think you can beat 'tell me, do you use Timotei?'

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:14, archived)

Oh, are you denying it now The LOVELY Smashy?
Only we've all seen the footage of you gyrating around that lamp-post after chucknig out time.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 29 Mar 2017, 20:38, archived)

Bit racist

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 21:14, archived)

lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 21:17, archived)

Just work
Just fucking work
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:14, archived)

there are worse jobs than fucking

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:17, archived)

dealing with outsourced sign up agents can be a right fucking ballache.
Today, they have been spectacularly shit.
They've had a few strongly worded emails though, made me feel better.

#Article50
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:18, archived)

Just kill them
It's the only language they understand
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:42, archived)

Brag: Imma cook a hench chilli tonight I reckon.
Grievance: Going to have to do the dishes beforehand.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:12, archived)

lol, "gook"
Oh, you spoilsport!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 17:16, archived)

bit racist ma8t

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 19:08, archived)

they got me sitting on a flippin' jury,
ah well, could be worse, glad i'm not the guy on the other side of the barrier anyway
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 18:10, archived)

Get yer brag rags on and join me hun

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 18:33, archived)

Ain't got either tonight.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 29 Mar 2017, 20:39, archived)

Tell you what's good, that Abandoned Engineering program.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 22:13, archived)

Holiday Disasters
I'm off to Lanzarote in a few weeks. So far, I've had to move hotels due to building works at the original, only to be told there are more issues at the second one. Joy

Last year's trip to Madeira involved an aborted landing, having to land on another island to refill with fuel, a forest fire that covered almost half of the island, majorly loud music at all times (great fun with trying to get the calves to sleep), a unexpected naked man and various other woes.

Tell me your tales of holiday mishaps, my internet chums
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

Nan's are grotty, more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

Mine probably are now
What with them both being dead for years
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

youtu.be/J-J-cSnhkkI
( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

hahaha!
I was completely in the daaaaaark
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:20, archived)

not sure

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:22, archived)

I'm not sure either
I've never had a holiday where anything went wrong. I've had holidays where I was miserable, but that's more of a "me" problem than anything else.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:30, archived)

you just needed some 'me' time

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:33, archived)

don't we all

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:36, archived)

Despite the issues, Madeira was absolutely lovely
FUCKING hot though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

Have you tried holidaying in places that aren't shit?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:29, archived)

I'm working on it
I love the Canary Islands though. Just try to stay away from the popular places
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:31, archived)

Some Cananry islands are shit
Source - Terrible family holiday which included awful sandstorms
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:57, archived)

any Cast song could ruin a holiday
they were mostly awful
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

It's what they say
You gotta walk away.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:05, archived)

Its a fine time to post this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:34, archived)

Just a magic hour

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:36, archived)

that's a bit da-rude m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:23, archived)

I wanna visit Krakow and maybe Gadansk.
Is that doable in a long weekend?
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:19, archived)

"has posted 469 stories and 67770 replies on question of the week"
says it all about voluntarily spending time in terrible places
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:51, archived)

I went hiking around the Norwegian fjords once
About 600m up the soles of by boots delaminated and completely came off. I had to climb back down wet granite and gorse with my soles held on by bandages and packing tape. And new boots at Norwegian prices just added salt to the wounds.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:30, archived)

You need to buy unsalted boots next time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:31, archived)

on a 24h trip to Milan some m8s and I
bought some tree bark from a local dealer, early in the morning, pissed beyond our senses, waiting for the bus to the airport at the train station. edit: 24h isn't much of a holiday. I don't do holidays. I usually spent a couple of months somewhere if I go to other countries.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:31, archived)

I went to Rome years ago on EasyJet
dropped off from a bus next to the station so decided to get a taxi to our hotel. Driver went round loads of streets for about 20 minutes and dropped us at the other side of the station, about 100m away from where we started
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:32, archived)

romanes eunt domus!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:09, archived)

a local tree bark dealer?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:34, archived)

Yeah
He made a trunk call
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

/r/trees

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

awww yeeeeah

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

shows that if you want something one you do it yourself, can't trust drunk friends

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:46, archived)

I still have no clue what you're talking about

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:31, archived)

they got ripped off

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:34, archived)

Is high quality tree bark hard to come by?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:43, archived)

i think they wanted those drug things

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:46, archived)

*something edgy about madelaine mccann*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:39, archived)

come on m8, that's not appropriate
a child is missing
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

Johnny Mathiszzzzzzzzzzzz

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:41, archived)

they should've mentioned it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:44, archived)

RiP wiv da angles xx

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:45, archived)

The fact that they haven't pursued any sort of police investigation
is definitely suspicious
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

those things can be a lot of hassle though
and they do have other children to consider
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

oh definitely
Sometimes I wish someone would take my kids away!!! hahahahahah no, I'm kidding
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:04, archived)

don't the school take them on a fairly regular basis?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:00, archived)

Yeah, but I know where they are
and they always come back. Like clockwork
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:04, archived)

have you seen 'big game'?
if you were finns, you could send them off into the woods when they get to 13
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

is this like a hunger games/Battle Royale type thing?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

but in Finland

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

not really
i think it's a rite of passage type deal. go out into the woods and kill something to become a man
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)

but in finland
in venice
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)

ah
man, imagine doing that in venice. In venice.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:25, archived)

"Do not return until you have caught a small goldfish made of murano glass"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:25, archived)

lol
the film is on netflix and worth a squizz if you're bored
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

+ and have netflix

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:41, archived)

ah, sorry. i thought you did.

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:45, archived)

I'm being facetious, I don't have netflix, but I have the means to see this film
which I will. Thank you.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:49, archived)

there's a fair amount of finnish in the film, unsurprisingly
and when we tried to stream it, we found a lot of copies that didn't have the finnish translated so be wary if streaming/downloading
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:53, archived)

I loved that film.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:37, archived)

^mods

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:45, archived)

modseleine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

^ maybe he's born with it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:24, archived)

alright 'Deutsch Amerikanische Freundschaft'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:24, archived)

Can’t believe it’s been nearly 10 years since them slags took Madeline McCann it still freaks my nut out to this day

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:52, archived)

like the Fat Boys - My Nuts?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:07, archived)

Must be a new hide and seek record!

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:10, archived)

Thanks for reinforcing my opinion on holidays.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 13:58, archived)

i can't afford one for the foreseeable future
which is pretty disastrous
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:38, archived)

Enjoy a cheap and convenient holiday
by emptying three bags of builders' sand onto your living room carpet and leaving the lights on all the time for that sunny beach ambiance.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

i have cushioned flooring

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

Phwoar

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:23, archived)

I'm taking a trip to the UK in May
that won't be much fun
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:46, archived)

oh shit
where are you going?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

passport office, still owes them

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:50, archived)

why announce that today?
haven't we suffered enough? :(
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:56, archived)

hey its just a bit of fun putting two hats on the popular page, don't let it upset you

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:58, archived)

I'm not letting him ruin this for me
I WON'T
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:00, archived)

Honestly, my total domination of the popular page is all that's standing between me and suicide, I swear

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 14:59, archived)

yeah, but now everyone else who needed it for validation are going to kill themselves
the greater good, etc
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:07, archived)

well that's a shame

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:11, archived)

good can only come from more of us committing suicide

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:11, archived)

the quality would definitely improve if we were all dead

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

if two hats isn't on it
then there is no point to life
( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:35, archived)

At fewest there'd be less people going on about the ultimate futility of all human endeavour

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:15, archived)

I was abducted and sexually molested in Manchester

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:10, archived)

someone having sex with you doesn't automatically make them an alien

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:15, archived)

Are you on crack?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:32, archived)

............no

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:58, archived)

They prefer to be called "survivors" these days.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:34, archived)

As one half of 80's hardcore rap duo MC Miker G & DJ Sven my holiday exploits are fully discussed in my hit 'Holiday Rap'

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:35, archived)

which one are you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

The sexy one

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

you were NEVER !!!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 18:31, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 7:03, archived)

Top o' the marnin to ye
British summertime is over in Manchester, normal grey grim rainy service has resumed
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 7:48, archived)

you deserve it for being Northern

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:08, archived)

Alright

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 7:55, archived)

yer, you?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:08, archived)

Yeah

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:12, archived)

plans for the day?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:13, archived)

chilling i suppose

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:20, archived)

show us your new watch

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

It won't show up for months , if this year, I'm hoping they push a few out quickly tho, might buy a green sub as a stop gap

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:39, archived)

you spent 8k on something you won't even see this year?
ripped off, m8
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:48, archived)

but look at it, it's stunning
www.ablogtowatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Rolex-Oyster-Perpetual-Sea-Dweller-50th-Anniversary-126600-aBlogtoWatch-63.jpg
( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:51, archived)

You and I are both looking at the same photo
Yet you've spent 8k to look at it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:56, archived)

soon as that hits the shelves it will be on sale on the grey market for 14k, an easy 5k profit

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:04, archived)

smart plan, share the wealth

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:34, archived)

i'm not sharing it, i think this one is a keeper, but if not i will sell up and continue buying old gmt's as i think the prices are gonna go mad in a few years, some already are

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:02, archived)

these kids nowadays don't understand delayed gratification they want it all right now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:57, archived)

mtv generation isn't it

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:04, archived)

subtle mercedes

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:07, archived)

they are similar but not the same, the original explanation i believe was that it was the only way to hold that much loom on the hour hand, a round circle would crumble and fall out too easy

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:09, archived)

^asked about loom

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:14, archived)

That'll be my phone, but the history of lume is interesting...

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

ugh, I didn't read any further than wrist cancer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:37, archived)

got to feel sorry for the women applying lume to the clock faces, licking the brushes with radium on, not a nice way to go

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

Today is technically my Friday, but feels very much like a Wednesday.
My daughter's replacement phone arrived, yesterday. Cheap and cheerful, but designed to look like a Samsung handset, with even the Android installation skinned to emulate the big, spazzy, iPhone-style icons that Samsung favour, it's amusing to see that is considerably faster in use than the phones it's aping. Obscure brand, though, so the odds of me routing it and sticking vanilla Android (RIP Cyanogen) on there are vanishingly small.

#monstermunch'seversotediousblog
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 7:56, archived)

I keep meaning to root an old phone I have laying around
but deep down I just don't see the point
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:09, archived)

I think having access to Android security updates makes it worthwhile,
that and having cleaner software (something like TouchWiz is an awful thing to foist on the public). Binning the launcher is almost always worth doing, at least (and you don't need root for that).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:07, archived)

Do you, by any obscure chance, know anything about editing build.prop?
I'm stuck on the "this device is trlte" error message when trying to root into Nougat.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:11, archived)

Nope.
My knowledge starts and stops at "reading inductions on the XDA developers forum".
I'm tempted to learn - this new handset is, on paper, the same as the Wileyfox Spark that it's replacing, and so it ought to be possible to get it from Lollipop to Marshmallow - but old dog / new tricks, I fear.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:00, archived)

There are some good resources out there but it's a bit like Unix forums,
in that if you follow the instructions to the letter, there's a reasonable chance of it working, but if it doesn't then you'll never know why.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:07, archived)

I've softbricked my tablet, many times, in a quest to improve its performance.
50% of the time, I can pinpoint where I've gone wrong, the rest have just been a case of nuking it with a readymade toolkit and hoping for the best.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

I decided against rooting my Slate because all the online comments said it was likely to throw a permanent wobbly.
When I rooted my Note 4, I came within a hair's breadth of hardbricking it (had to reflash the PIT file and everything) and since then it's been a bit fragile.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:24, archived)

i rooted your nan last christmas

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:25, archived)

dn't be a twrp.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:28, archived)

what OS did you install in her?

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:30, archived)

nandroid

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

There's a 4 reelz app called Nandroid.
Nothing to do with nans, disappointingly.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:38, archived)

Mor
and also ning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:14, archived)

an edgy two-parter
is there a cliffhanger in the middle?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

It's a good old Rocky Horror bit of antici
pation.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:35, archived)

Happy Boganda Day to our Central African Republic b3tans

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:26, archived)

The pope should probably saint him by now

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:29, archived)

I hope so

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:31, archived)

totally boganda, man
gnarly
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

thank you my friend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:47, archived)

good morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:47, archived)

generic platitude to you m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

alright tweeb
have you seen that the new guardians of the galaxy game is named after you?
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:08, archived)

I haven't, but let's face it, it's about time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

actually...
i think it's about space!!!!!! !! !!!! ! !!!
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

Yeah ratchet and clank was about time

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

up your arsenal

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:22, archived)

^ took his mum up the Arse for mothers day

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:23, archived)

Wenger out

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

ian is not a good name for a game, imho, should have called it gary

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:22, archived)

A solemn and dignified 'good morning'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:48, archived)

sorry for your loss m8
of your dignity!
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:50, archived)

hail to thee!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

on bended knee!
and fly undone to show willy!
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 8:57, archived)

sure thing

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:50, archived)

don't you ever yearn for change?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:09, archived)

I don't yearn for anything
I change what I can change and I accept what I can't
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

the serenity prayer eh

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:24, archived)

not really
I'm not asking for someone else's help in doing those things
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:34, archived)

m^orning
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

peak of the weak

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

^got kicked in the nads

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

b_ender
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 9:25, archived)

Wait a minute
What's happening on the popular page?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:03, archived)

you've got a fan

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:07, archived)

+ny

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:07, archived)

well yeah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:07, archived)

I find that very difficult to believe

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:07, archived)

noticed it happening last night
i think this has happened before, hasn't it?
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:12, archived)

dunno
but I get paid for it, right?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:13, archived)

you'll get as much as i do for my essential moderating duties
also, predictably, now that it's being spoken of the number of clicks has increased from 2 to 3
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:19, archived)

If it goes up to 5, I get paid for it, right?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:20, archived)

you have had 21 posts that got more than 5 likes in 7 years
at 11p per post, you have earned £2.31. to claim your winnings, paypal me the £5 collection fee and i'll send it to you
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:26, archived)

cheers

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:28, archived)

it's where the most popular posts voted for by forum members are collated hth

( mongychops, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:08, archived)

But that's not important right now.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:09, archived)

ah t DOES h, thanks

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:10, archived)

you're just one of the popular members of this forum

( $$ ✅, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:13, archived)

obvs

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Mar 2017, 10:13, archived)

So, now that we've all seen the new Spiderman trailer, what's for dinner?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:29, archived)

Oh fuck off, this place has been shit enough recently

( mongychops, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:37, archived)

Looking at your posts I agree

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:45, archived)

Oh hahahahaha , you are and always have been insufferable, the whole what's on TV planearm isn't light-hearted,it's because you are a tedious turd

( mongychops, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:50, archived)

Bad day at work mongy?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:57, archived)

^more upset that Lee 'Scratch' Perry's backing band

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 20:17, archived)

I think the problem is that few people here share the same interests. Clearly the best thing for /talk would be to fragment it into seperate boards for people who like talking about cars, people who like lego, people who like fishing...

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:42, archived)

I read that as fisting...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:46, archived)

Yes you can have your own board for that too

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:46, archived)

How inclusive

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:00, archived)

*joins /fisting*

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:12, archived)

nothing sexual
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 20:00, archived)

Dunno.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:48, archived)

Not seen it, sorry

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:53, archived)

don't apologise
he has no right to make you feel this way
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:00, archived)

I refuse to be a victim

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:51, archived)

I'm going to whip off my trousers and see where that goes

( $$ ✅, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:56, archived)

They might finally have a decent villain

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:38, archived)

just do mysterio already

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:01, archived)

fucking magneto, how does he work

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:37, archived)

Chupa Chups.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:45, archived)

Push a Push Pop
Push up a flavour
Push a Push Pop
Save some for later.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 18:46, archived)

God damn the pusher

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:08, archived)

planes have wings, m8

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:01, archived)

finally someone had the guts to say it

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:04, archived)

bullying online!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:15, archived)

don't be cry

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

Threadrush!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 15:37, archived)

whoah!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 15:41, archived)

careful now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 15:43, archived)

tl;dr

( $$ ✅, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 15:49, archived)

Was my 15 year candle thing 2 days ago
So, missed that.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

Not to worry, we'll all be dead soon enough.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

HURRAH!

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 16:06, archived)

I got my new car...well old car.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 16:54, archived)

Bottom get

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:18, archived)

Queery bum

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 17:23, archived)

quiet today, innit
i guess we need all of /talk's mainstays here at once to keep it ticking
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:14, archived)

it's possible that the number of remaining posters has finally dipped below a sustainable level
all we can do now is hit F5 and occasionally moan about how no one posts any more
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:18, archived)

so which one of the regulars has disappeared?
it's like a memory game, where you try and remember who used to post interesting content here, only you can't because it's a trick question
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:20, archived)

I think losing mongy might be the straw that finally breaks this lame camel
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:22, archived)

but it's never just one person
more of a slow gradual decline
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:23, archived)

the top half of that table is mostly what i'd consider the core /talk team
so sorry to all that encompasses. i'm sure you had loftier goals in life
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:31, archived)

According to that I've not read 49 Spanish posts.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:35, archived)

I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:51, archived)

welcome aboard, piss-camel

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:53, archived)

I tried to stay in the top half of the table
But work commitments relegated me to a bit part lame character, rather than a full time lame character
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 11:46, archived)

I'm allowed a holiday , it's in the t& cs

( mongychops, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:37, archived)

lake?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:38, archived)

No, but i did just catch my first lapras, so that cool

( mongychops, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 11:04, archived)

nice!
i evolved a gyrados the other day. gonna keep katchin' karp until i find a shiny one though
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 11:09, archived)

privileges of a gold account

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:44, archived)

Well worth the extra money

( mongychops, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

Is Ben Wheatley still on here, or is he to much of a sleb for us plebs?

(Gums and Tongue Shitter the better, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 12:16, archived)

yeah it's me
I don't like to make a big thing about it though, so keep it on the down low yeah?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

I'm listening to sound of my own voice
it seems that all the fancy audio processing I do to my voice just makes it sound like it does when I have a bit of a cough.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:19, archived)

i heard your voice once so you have my condolences

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:32, archived)

I know you've watched all 13 vids, you can't resist

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

they're all in the wankbank

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:52, archived)

I haven't listened to a recording of my own voice in many a year.
No doubt I still sound as ridiculous as ever, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:46, archived)

sorry, pricks have been keeping me busy
#gs
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:26, archived)

work pricks or just more sort of general pricks?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:38, archived)

oh, work pricks
always work pricks
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 10:59, archived)