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Wake up, bellend's
Ah think ah gat somethin to sayyytoyou

I fucking hate Rod Stewart, u?
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:53, archived)
Kenny Everett's parody of 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' where his arse inflated was at that time the funniest thing I'd seen in my entire life

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:54, archived)
here it is!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqOh4z2ASdk
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:57, archived)
I preferred his Patton impersonation myself.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:43, archived)
I don't mind some of the stuff he did with the faces.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:54, archived)
+e

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:57, archived)
He wasn't as good as wotsisname that died,
and his solo work is awful.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:16, archived)
Steve Marriott?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:24, archived)
Probably.
Haven't listened to The Small Faces for years.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:27, archived)
They were absolutely *brilliant*
I love that band

Actually Ian McLagan's autobiography All The Rage is in my top 5 music books, very funny and well worth a read even if you're not that bothered by the records
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:28, archived)
I'm happy to be able to agree with you.
One of those bands that I can thank my dad for introducing me to.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:30, archived)
Best white soul vocalist ever, they say
Along with Steve Winwood and Terry Reid

/ac
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:41, archived)
Err Rick Ashley

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:50, archived)
He comes across as really decent chap does our Rick

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:52, archived)
Ha!
My dad told me that Steve Marriott died in '69.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:41, archived)
really?
Then you won't have heard his 70s output with Humble Pie, there's a cracking live LP 'Performance: Rockin The Fillmore'

EDIT you're welcome www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwQLV8o268Q
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:50, archived)
Will look into that, later.
Maybe the old man was just trying to shield me from Peter Frampton?
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:57, archived)
You'd think it was a different Peter Frampton, I promise you
It's top notch 70s hairy rock

strikey-g, well done
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:35, archived)
I just had a listen to the Troggs Tapes lol.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:36, archived)
Always a delight

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:19, archived)
*sprinkles fairy dust*

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
Dubba dubba dub CHA

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:19, archived)

D W d l CHA dub
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:38, archived)
Have downloaded it for the drive to work, tomorrow.
All nice and legal, I feel good knowing that any surviving band members will be earning 0.006p by my actions.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:50, archived)
they've been a little sullied by pricks in liam gallagher haircuts and desert boots

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:29, archived)
a driving force behind britpop, says it all really

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:33, archived)
They've been disbanded since 1969.
I'm not going to hold 60s fashion trends against them.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:39, archived)
not their fault

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:40, archived)
Maggie Mae is pretty good
as is Stay With Me, but yes - doesn't compare with Marriott
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:25, archived)
Hot Legs is a good tune

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:27, archived)
who is rob stewart?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:56, archived)
A murderer
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Zahid_Mubarek
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:00, archived)
you go steal white man's razor blades and you get white man's stick, right?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:17, archived)
GS?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:23, archived)
this is the funniest thing I've posted in ages

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:26, archived)
sadly, you're right :(

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:29, archived)
this is pretty funny, well done

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:33, archived)
Rod Stewart once asked me for a beer and I told him the bar was closed and he looked sad.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:56, archived)
Apparently he's really fucking stingy
Ron Wood describes him as 'as tight as two coats of paint' lol
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:59, archived)
lol

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:18, archived)
don't mind him

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 15:56, archived)
everyone likes sailing don't they?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:13, archived)
i like the lyric about britt ekland 'The big bosomed lady with the Dutch accent who tried to change my point of view' he was such a charmer

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:18, archived)
You're in my heart, you're in my soul You'll be my breath should I grow old You are my lover, you're my best friend You're in my soul

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:20, archived)
I like Willow's Song
youtu.be/mIac4nKaAy4

Song breasts
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:23, archived)
I don't have high hopes for this thread tbh

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:10, archived)
just wrap it up now
post something a bit more contemporary, like how west germany are doing in the cup
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:28, archived)
How *are* they doing in the cup?
I don't want to make a fool of myself!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:52, archived)
Yeah

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:13, archived)
we are sailing we are sailing something something across the sea

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:13, archived)
Prefer The Pogues one tbh.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:20, archived)
I'm bigger and bolder and rougher and tougher, in other words sucker there is no other.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:19, archived)
Now you're talking

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:24, archived)
Is god rewriting his commandments, to appeal to "da yoof"?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:25, archived)
prefer the Belgium new beat scene

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:29, archived)
Boccaccio Life club 4 eva

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:37, archived)
I didn't know Praga Khan was in Lords of Acid

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:38, archived)
The important thing is his work on the Mortal Kombat soundtracks.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:52, archived)
Nob Stewart more like

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:37, archived)
lol gud 1 m8

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:39, archived)
Nob Poopot more like

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 16:48, archived)
It's a Heartache is a fucking brilliant song.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:25, archived)
you're a fart-ache m7

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:35, archived)
Ur face is a spazmo

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:38, archived)
You know my favourite Rod? .. Harrison torrix 3.25lb test curve....oh hahahaha

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 17:46, archived)
Disgusting.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:39, archived)
Bit rude mate, Bruce Ashby rip

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:41, archived)
PENUS

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:25, archived)
Alright, 2H.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:40, archived)
Yeaux

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 19:18, archived)
He looks like Rod Hull fucked Bonnie Tyler

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 18:42, archived)
I've been knocked back by worse

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 19:00, archived)
And has had more leggy blue eyed blondes than you've had hot dinners

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 19:47, archived)
Joke's on him, Grrry lives on chilled borscht.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 19:54, archived)
here's a new thread, use it as you see fit
you could insult me, discuss current affairs or maybe just tell us how you're feeling? the choice is yours!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:06, archived)
I'm on the edge of being granted an actual budget from my firm for the team I've put together
I feel a bit overwhelmed
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
i don't think boasting about your personal achievements was an option

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)
I'm more asking for support from my elders and betters who have more experience in this
but I can see how it sounds like a humblebrag
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)
Just spend the budget on cocaine.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:16, archived)
do coke dealers issue receipts?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:16, archived)
Probably, I've never asked though

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
is cocaine vat exempt?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:18, archived)
I doubt it, it's a bit of a luxury

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:21, archived)
Surely you could reclaim it if it's for business use
in line with keeping your staff stimulated by supplying free coffee
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:42, archived)
this is why I needed other people's input
thanks drimble. Thrimble.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)
Just unfold the wrap after you've done it all
et voilla!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:29, archived)
well, i don't exactly have a team, but i do have a bunch of people i delegate* to, so how can i help?
*of course by this i mean evade tasks and apportion blame to other people when not completed
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
I'm now the spokesman for 13 people with identical job titles
spread out over a department of 1000 people, so we all have different bosses and cost centres and stuff, but I've been given approval to corral them into a team to try and make us all work more efficiently for synergies and cost savings and other business bullshit.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:20, archived)
Kill yourself.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:21, archived)
I gues you haven't got that promotion yet then

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)
you should probably start by arranging a get together with an open bar
it's important to see work colleagues drunk
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)
that was my first goal
We're spread out all over Poland so a travel budget and a big meal is the first point of order.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)
Please tell me one of the sizes of bushels was 'a gary'.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)
lol

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)

I'm simply feeling fabulous!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:09, archived)
fab yoo luss

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)
So it looks like Oldbury is the head office.
So they've booked for a parcel to be shipped, but they've not yet received anything. So it's anyone's guess whether the stuff has been sent.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:13, archived)
what stuff?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
Rear shocks, new piston and ring set, barrell gasket and timing advance spring.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:21, archived)
sounds like car nerd stuff, you car nerd

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)
Motorbike actually

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)
more like motordork

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)
Lemmy's dungeons-and-dragons-themed side projectzzzzz

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:15, archived)
Ace of Spaz

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)
hey doves what about all that they've been saying on the news eh?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)
when are the government going to step in and do something about it? that's what i wanna know

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:45, archived)
they always say they're going to crack down but then nothing ever happens about it

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)
Won't somebody think about the children?!

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)
i'm not a fan of these kids going around chucking acid at people, or people getting killed for a wrist watch, they should pack that in

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:43, archived)
they should be careful with the acid, try not to damage the leather strap on the wrist watch etc.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:47, archived)
Suppose it is good they are showing an interest in horology and not just smoking wacky baccy

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)
I just want to know if I'm representing white culture properly

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:49, archived)
do you feel like political correctness has gone too far and that despite what the media tells you, you are being oppressed?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)
you're not allowed to any more, you have to make it suitable for muslims

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)
this is basically a yes to my question

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:53, archived)
is it racist to be proud of being white and wanting whites only things like schools and that?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:55, archived)
they're called grammar schools m8

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:56, archived)
you've obviously never visited the west midlands

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:02, archived)
i thought black country was just a name tbh

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
my daughters school has loads of blacks in it, i heard they lower the 11 plus score for them

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)
you're a wally m8

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:59, archived)
I reckon one of those letters needs replacing

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:01, archived)
too far

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)
you're as shit and rubbish as the current government that make me feel sad
there, 3 for 3
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfKtimn6rPU
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
Apparently the guy Kidd Creole stabbed called him a bender

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
do Americans use the word "bender"?
I know they find a lot of our britishisms amusingly quaint, I wonder if they find being called a knob-jockey genuinely insulting.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:14, archived)
It's all 'fag' and 'faggot' over there isn't it?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
or is that just what Hollywood shows?
I mean, we don't all speak like extras in a guy ritchie movie, maybe the yanks have got a richer seam of homophobic slurs than we give them credit for.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:23, archived)
there's cocksucker, I suppose

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:33, archived)
I'd probably upset a load of them by forgetting 'cunt' isn't used as punctuation outside scotland.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:21, archived)
didn't really have much choice then did he

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:14, archived)
exactly, he'll be acquitted

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:16, archived)
Day off, but have woken up with a cold and I'm actually having to work
Hows your Thursday panning out? Alternatively: Go fuck yourself.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)
Interesting so far
I have pulled a ligament in my groin and am having fun trying to work out how i did it
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:08, archived)
Sleep karate?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:09, archived)
Possibly
But it might be from moving a telly and double bed the other day
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:18, archived)

moving a sleeping with
and double bed savalas
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)
I'm in an irascible mood today for some reason

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
On the blob?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:15, archived)
it's the only rational explanation

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)
+Caught by the flob, well I was still

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:06, archived)
Red will be the colors, the tampon in our hands,
The time has come to pack it- can we pack it? Yes we can!
Menses dribbling downward, in thick red smelly globs,
We're England for ever, now all together- we're on the blob!

We're on the blob, we're on the blob,
We're on the blob, we're on the blob.
We're on the blob, we're on the blob,
We're on the blob, we're on the blob.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:39, archived)

Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, if only you could make us understand
Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, your influence will spread throughout the land

Let's hear it for Mr Blobby
(Blobby, blobby, blobby)

His philosophy of life will steer him through
And as far as he can see
He's the same as you and me
There's nothing in the world he cannot do

No hill too high, no desert too dry
No road too long, no tide too strong
No bridge too far, he's got a car
No slope to steep, no thought too deep
No star too bright, no squeeze too tight
No tale too tall, no cat too cool
No bass too low, he'll give it a go
No end to his talents, no sense of balance

Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, when disaster strikes you never get depressed
Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, you'll always prove that Blobby is the best

Although he's unconventional in hue
His philosophy of life will steer him through
And despite the limitation
Of his poor co-ordination
He knows he'll show the world a thing or two

(Blobby, blobby, blobby)

Blobby, Mr Blobby, you're the guy who puts the do in do or die
Blobby, Mr Blobby, your deeds are guaranteed to stupefy

No ride too rough, no test too tough
No act too slick, no race too quick
No shot too hot, he'll hit the spot
No style too chic, no joke too weak
No chance too slim, no fate too grim
No foe too strop, no odds too long
No price too high, he's put some by
No dodge, no doubt, no backing out

Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, if humanity's a question of degree
Blobby, Mr Blobby, stay loyal to your Blobby pedigree
Blobby, oh Mr Blobby, you're the one who bears the pink and yellow crest
Blobby, Mr Blobby, you'll always prove that Blobby is the best
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:50, archived)
irascible in German is jähzornig, if that helps

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:19, archived)
that's not all that helpful tbh

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)
you never did do that masterclass in reggae
maybe find some time to post a load of youtube links we can all enjoy?
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
don't tempt me

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:52, archived)
I'm being serious m8
people enjoyed the hiphop one you did and that was yonks ago, and I suspect it's a genre with plenty of hidden gems that many of us would appreciate.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)
really? I assumed you were taking 't3h p155'

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)
I'll probably call it all stupid I-and-I bullshit once you post the links
but I don't want to jump the gun.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:00, archived)
I know you don't mind a bit of a read
thequietus.com/articles/20121-lee-scratch-perry-super-ape-max-romeo-war-inna-babylon-review
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:15, archived)
I'll bookmark that for later
I've got far too many Quietus tabs open in my browser already and no time to wade through all the links. I'm only down to 74 on their albums of the year so far list.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:19, archived)
are you working from 100 to 1 or the other way round

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:26, archived)
100 to 1
otherwise I'll listen to supposedly the best and it'll just get shitter from there.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
What hip hop thing?
Re-post please

I have found a couple of artists I like (Dangermouse & Gemini's Ghetto Pop Life is fab), but the genre has so much crap I can't face trawling through it to find the decent stuff.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7902142
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
Thank you

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
thank mcbeef

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)
No
not until I've listened to his suggestions and approved.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)
Ultramagentic MCs m8
No doubt Richard can suggest which album to start with.

Then EPMD.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
Critical Beatdown

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
Yeah that's what I would go with.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)
^ Triggered

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:29, archived)
Awful day.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
Glad we're all miserable
I'm sure we are taking great comfort from this
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:15, archived)
not bad although I do need a wee

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:15, archived)
Could be a sign you have cancer of the wang
:/
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:16, archived)
I've got a spare one you can have

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:21, archived)
it's ok now, I've had a wee and made a cup of tea

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)
and watched the evening news

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:43, archived)
the morning was damp and chilly so I thought I'd finally get some respite from the 30+ degree temps
But no, the fucking sun came out and turned all the rain into a humid fug so my fingers are pruning up at my desk like I'm typing in a tropical rainforest. Fuck this fucking shit.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)
Was supposed to be going to an outdoor cinema event, on Saturday, but the forecast is for more rain.
Shitty summer, this is.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
Terrible isn't it , I want sunshine

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)
yeah it's rubbish
forecast isn't great for my trip to France next week either.

Ah well, it won't be raining in the bars and restaurants...
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)

www.the-archaeologist.com
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:10, archived)
'At the age of 17, Uwe Ehinger was infected with an incurable fever: the Harley virus'

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:14, archived)
I went to the pub last night and forgot there was a quiz so had to partake in a quiz I didn't really want to do.
Half way through a middle-aged pissed mental came in and started trying to talk to everyone about his 'depression' and possible drink problem.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:29, archived)
Well thankfully things haven't got any worse since the weekend. They're just staying at the same constant level of dreadful.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
can't you slip something into your wife's food so that she miscarries?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)
I think she's on the verge of slipping something into her own food and then throwing herself down the stairs for good measure.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
Ooh, this is just like Midsomer Murders!

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:37, archived)
thalidomide is apparently very good for relieving morning sickness

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:39, archived)
The problem with that stuff is that if something goes wrong
you don't have a leg to stand on afterwards.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)
lol

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
He should give her Ephemeral. Then he could end up with a Scanner.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:52, archived)
A patient just came in and told me she doesn't like my beard because it makes me look older and then said my consulting room was messy :(

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)
Was it your mum?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:18, archived)
it's probably time to accept the reality that you're not actually a GP
and that offering advice to the other tramps squatting under your derelict railway bridge doesn't count as "running a surgery".
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)
The day started wtih my personal trainer trying to kill me
having survived that I am very pleased to be alive.

Am sorting out a social media strategy for another team and have managed to secure the content for an article from behind a paywall for our own purposes, for free!

AND my partner is taking me to the cinema for my birthday to see Atomic Blonde or Baby Driver then a curry.

Today is looking good...
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)
Baby Driver is decent.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:52, archived)
My wife wants to see that
My problem with this is that I'll be expected to go too, and I think Edgar Wright is absolutely fucking terrible, I actively detest every single thing of his that I've seen
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)
How about Atomic Blonde?
The reviews are mixed, but I like seeing bangbang crash ratattattat in the cinema and this has it in bucketloads and some of the set pieces are supposed to be brilliant.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:02, archived)
If you don't like Hot Fuzz or Scott Pilgrim
Well, that's your problem.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:10, archived)
I can see how people might not like Scott Pilgrim, but Hot Fuzz is unarguably brilliant.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:17, archived)
there are plenty of things that are objectively brilliant but still not one's cup of tea

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:19, archived)
Spare me your philosophy, Ayn Rand.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:35, archived)
I think it's shit

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:24, archived)
I can't watch more than 5 seconds of anything featuring those two utter fucking wankers

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
A general dislike of Pegg and Frost?
Yeah, that's understandable.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:33, archived)
'general dislike' is a spectacular understatement

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)
^ upset

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:53, archived)
Scott Pilgrim is a modern classic
End of
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)
I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't go that far.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)
I'm not a big fan of his other films. It's better than them imo.
Have you looked at the music in it? It syncs up with the action.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Driver#Track_listing

You'd either like that or fucking hate it I reckon.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:18, archived)
Anything that uses JSBX was always on to a winner
BELLBOTTOMS!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
well I was able to fairly accurately guess his age based on that

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
I liked the Carla Thomas track.
Hmm, now you said that I said 'hmm, must be about 40' so wasn't far off.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
That Axelrod track on there is a fucking classic

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)
Alright dozer.
I picked up Finitribe's Forevergreen version 1 and 2.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
FSOL y/n

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:53, archived)
Y - apart from when they released that proggy bowie ripoff.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)
You heard that new Sasha album? It's pretty decent.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)
I've not. Will check it out.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
Scene Delete
It's not club music. Came out on Late Night Tales.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
I bet it isn't

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
No m8
It's alright, well produced, nice to listen to. The vinyl is lovely as well.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)
You checked out worldwidefm?
Giles Peterson's internet radio station? Even if you don't like GP's stuff the line-up he has is amazing.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)
I've just taken delivery of a one-sided 12 of Super Sporm by Captain Sky
A 45 of Kenny Dope edits of breakbeats from the Wildstyle soundtrack
and an edit of Do Me by Jean Knight

Those are good records m8, not some bent 'downtempo' shit by someone who peaked in 1991
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:28, archived)
Tremendously upset as always, Richard.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:32, archived)
I think the kids should ban one of you 3 for the good of the forum

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
I agree

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)
I say ban all 3

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
I think it's nice that there's a quiet corner of the internet
where a load of old has-beens can still feel relevant
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 13:33, archived)
is it your birthday today, Gary?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
No, not for a couple of weeks
but at least now I have something to look forward to...
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:59, archived)
I just bit my tongue

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)
gutted I missed this:
pbs.twimg.com/media/DFU1W_3XYAQA-rk.jpg:large
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)
:(

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)
don't worry m8
You can just look in the mirror if you ever want to see a proper joey
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:06, archived)
hopefully they pelted him with stones as soon as he got on stage until every bone in his body was fractured

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:29, archived)
Briefly had an argument with someone who claimed there was PROOF that McDonalds use human meat in their food
And backed it up with clickbait agenda fuelled articles, before I remembered the saying about never getting into an argument with an idiot, so that was a bit entertaining
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:24, archived)
i love a good egg mcmuffin me

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:30, archived)
i mean, i don't
but i did enjoy the video that shows how they make the eggs for it
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)
Seen these?
static.neatorama.com/images/uploads/2007/07/400_sausegges.jpg
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
brb, ordering 100 rolls of egg

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)

, ordering 100 ro sme
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:27, archived)
I'm seldom out the gaff and near a mcdonalds before 10:30.
But recently kipped at a mates and got a couple of egg mcmuffins and a chocolate shake to shift my hangover and it was almost a religious experience.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)
i've had too much coffee and i'm a bit jittery

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:32, archived)
i had an americano from the machine but it didn't fill the cup so i topped it up with filter coffee

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:33, archived)
We're moving to an office without a machine and are going to be supplied with a drum of kenco instead.
I've bought an aeropress.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)
you're fucking with forces you don't fully understand
just be careful
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
i'm going to drink enough to see through time

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
When I got my own filter machine, I never really learned to half fill it, and so would invariably known back 8 cups in an afternoon, and then feel sick.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:40, archived)
I used a big moka pot to make a mugful of espresso.
That was a wild ride.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:53, archived)
I love my mokka pot.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
They're nice contraptions.
But I don't like americano and usually want something a bit longer than espresso to nurse.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)
Black americano is my default coffee,
but I'm quite fond of making flavored iced lattes, like some sort of ponce.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:13, archived)
Sorry to get all shambles but americano isn't very good.
It's just all watery and shit, drip or cafetiere's make nicer long coffee imo.

I used to like iced latte's but now I'm all about the lassi. Green tea and lemon is PENG.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
What constitutes a lassi?
I like a nice mango lassi but I thought it was just mango pulp and yoghurt. The idea of drowning green tea in yoghurt sounds proper rank.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:21, archived)
I think it's a lassi if it's cold and mostly yogurt and milk. The rest's just flavoring.
There's a special tea they use for it, matcha green tea or something, it's really very nice.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:25, archived)

's cold and mostly yogurt and milk. The rest's just flavoring.
There's a special tea they use for it, matcha green tea or something, it's really very nice
treks over many miles to be reunited with the boy she loves
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:35, archived)
Please don't try to bring humour to the forum

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:40, archived)
sorry I meant to mock him for his choice of lassi because the artisan one I get is much better

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:48, archived)
I find my americanos are preferable to what used to come out of my filter machine,
not to mention that having the mokka on the stove is a lot less hassle than dragging the filter machine down from whichever high shelf I've hidden it on (it only comes out when I've got family down for Christmas, when the demand for coffee makes it the more practical option). My americanos have a fairly high radio of espresso to water, too.

I've never tried a lassi, but then I'm allergic to long haired dogs.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)
all this talk of coffee prompted me to make another cup of coffee
but I used the vanilla one this time because it's probably cheap shit beans that don't have much caffeine in them
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:07, archived)
these are cool *contains watches
werenbach.ch/earth-collection/
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:43, archived)
yeah that is kind of cool

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:34, archived)
Leeds market taking the 'ronseal' approach to butchery.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DGOwRSUXoAE5TpO.jpg
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
can't tell if that's a bargain or a command

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:08, archived)
I don't think this is halal.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)
why aren't they using the metric system?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)
cos 5.70 per kilo doesn't seem like such a bargain

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:25, archived)
I like how you've seemingly gone to the effort of converting that properly rather than saying 'a kilo is about 2lb' and simply doubling it.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:27, archived)
I constantly have to switch between unit types and currencies all day long
it's just force of habit nowadays.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:29, archived)
Worked a European oil company with holdings in the UK and US as well.
That had some really odd harmonised measurements in places.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
I used to edit commodity stories for a newswire
so many different sized fucking bushels.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
Taking back control.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:26, archived)
I'll DM the local trading standards
and get them shut down
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
morning

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:31, archived)
Dick milk

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)
full fat, no doubt

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:48, archived)
oh, some pricks been upvoting old content to the popular page
what sad twat goes back and rereads all this shit we type?
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)
That's a fucking stupid thing to do.

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:50, archived)
Clearly you - otherwise why would you have been looking at the popular page?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:34, archived)
you can't upvote your own stuff m8
I'd have thought you've had learnt that lesson by now
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:45, archived)
What have upvotes got to do with anything?
You've gone to the popular page to reread all the shit we type, where you've observed that someone has been upvoting old posts. You've then proclaimed that people who do precisely what you've just done are 'sad twats'.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:54, archived)
holy shit, mind blown

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:03, archived)
oops
www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/08/03/grandmaster-flash-kidd-creole-arrested-fatal-stabbing/535405001/
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
Oh dear

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)
I hope he's not the same Kid Creole who wrote and sang "Stool Pigeon"
or else there would be a grim irony in the case
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:36, archived)
no m8
Kid Creole of 'and the coconuts' fame was not in the Furious 5 ffs
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)
Phew!
that's a relief!
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 11:12, archived)
Hi m8

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:48, archived)
alright dozer
your name always reminds me of the little green blokes in The Fraggles
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:49, archived)
Bit gay

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:08, archived)
morning all

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:48, archived)
ello ello ello

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:49, archived)
ello-hay

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:48, archived)
poor schizophrenic horse, talking to his breakfast again :(

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 7:50, archived)
"noncommittal grunt*

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)
this is an improvement on your usual output

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
Top of the day to you

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
yer, I'm gonna fuck today RIGHT up the arse

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
*lowers the rather nice blouse that he was proffering*
this... top... I er... okay
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:37, archived)
I suppose a big blouse for girls is also a blouse for big girls

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)
Mind
blown
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:35, archived)
good morning one and all

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:26, archived)
alright tangled

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)
I'm totally kid-free until tomorrow afternoon
gonna go out and get pissed straight from work to celebrate
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:44, archived)
Treat yourself to 20 Marlboro reds

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)
oh man they used to be my favourite tabs when I was young and carefree

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:09, archived)
and now you are middle aged and poorly

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:11, archived)
poor me :(

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:28, archived)
gunt

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:34, archived)
+ gunt, let it all unt

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)
I think these are the things we could do withunt

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)
You're in to shipping.
I opened a PayPal dispute after being messed about, within an hour the seller has told me my stuff has been shipped and provided a tracking number. Any way to tell if it's legit or not?
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:13, archived)
Shitting mate, not shipping

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)
Dammit

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:23, archived)

pp tt ay oo al o
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:23, archived)
Don't close the dispute until the stuff arrives

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)
Cool.
I just find it odd that it was so soon after the dispute , the stuff is supposed to be coming from poland and that the DPD tracking number says Oldbury.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)
shit flake

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:38, archived)
a bar of dairymilk is basically a shit Flake

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:45, archived)
*parp*

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)
what's the difference between a parp and a guff?

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
About 19db

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)
I'd say a parp is more playful

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)
They see him rolling, they hating
www.facebook.com/1252769878167443/videos/1270093279768436/
(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:25, archived)
It's nice to see humpty dumpty got his life back together again

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)
Dunno what they expected all the king's horses to do for him anyway

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)
boil them down to glue

(, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)
Thread Balls

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:45, archived)
The young African girl in the shop is called funkie, it makes me lol, probably racist

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 20:12, archived)
I've done funkie what's for dinner

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 20:16, archived)
Do do do the funkie gibbon.
I think this is mega racist, but it's all Graeme Garden's fault.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:23, archived)
Gibson I'd our word, you don't get to say that

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:30, archived)
I'm leaving that

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:31, archived)
Hack the Gibson.
lol
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:38, archived)
I'm more concerned you've inflected my autocorrect

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:48, archived)
This is how skynet starts.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 22:14, archived)
I'd rather be killed by an ultra-intelligent supercomputer than a fat Asian kid with stupid hair and a continuous temper tantrum
just sayin
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 22:19, archived)
Yeah Woo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMHJxUC1iMI
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 22:11, archived)
My balls are well sweaty

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 20:48, archived)
mum's spaghetti

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 20:50, archived)

Knees weak
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:01, archived)
pubes reddish

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:07, archived)
Arse is heavy

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:47, archived)
Wool balls

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 21:36, archived)
We gonna ring-rang-a-dong for a holiday
(Hey, check out the new style we just play)
We are going on a summer holiday
If you want to go, yo, Sven
We're going to London and New York City
And we take a little piece of Amsterdam (right)

MC Miker G & DJ Sven were a hip hop duo [citation fucking needed, ffs] from the Netherlands. The duo consisted of Lucien Witteveen and Sven van Veen (DJ Sven). The 1980s saw the two launch "Holiday Rap" to international success. The song is a remixed version of Madonna's hit "Holiday" with additional rapping and an interpolation of the chorus of Cliff Richard's "Summer Holiday".
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:09, archived)
I fucking love a bit of additional rapping, me
It's the best kind, no quezzles
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:10, archived)
I got a 45 of Superman Lover by Johnny 'Guitar' Watson earlier

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:11, archived)
both of them looked like paedophiles
#rapfacts #musicfacts #childrapists
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:10, archived)
The 'summer holiday' referred to in the aforementioned record was actually just a cover story for international sex tourism
They brought new meaning to the term 'beach bum', I can tell you
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:12, archived)
fucking hell
www.hitsmusiquesannees80.com/images/mc-miker-g-dj-sven_89.jpg
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
DJ Sven has a whiff of the Lindup about him

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
MC Linners

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:14, archived)

:(
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:47, archived)
oh :(

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:48, archived)
You have to admit it m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:07, archived)
only three days till my hollibobbidoos!!!!!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:15, archived)
bring us back 400 bennys, ta

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
i think they'll probably be just as expensive in weston super mare

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:17, archived)
now these ones have 2 fish in them, but as you can see that is reflected in the price
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Newly-listed-Chinese-celadon-tea-set-pottery-tea-cup-80ml-fish-design-fine-china-/221514966245?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:15, archived)
holds more tea and all

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:17, archived)
but with more fish, these chinese are crazy

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:20, archived)
Do you really want six of the other ones though?
If not, false economy - plus as you say, double fish here
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:17, archived)
it's a confusing market, and i'm sure my kids would like them, look this set comes with a teapot too, i'm out of my consumer depth here
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ceramic-3D-Koi-Fish-Kung-Fu-Tea-Cup-Tea-Ceremony-Teapot-Matcha-Cup-Set-7pcs-/263066185344?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:20, archived)
That's the best deal by far surely

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:26, archived)
i'm pulling the trigger on that set

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:31, archived)
caveat emptor
feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=tianyudeshop&iid=263066185344&de=off&items=25&searchInterval=30&which=negative&interval=365&_trkparms=negative_365
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:33, archived)
that must bring much great shame on family

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:36, archived)
lol
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Bronze-sculpture-mechanical-an-old-pocket-watch/262839937425
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:42, archived)
i'm not even sure that is a copy, just made up

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:45, archived)
ok richard

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
ok

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:18, archived)
could we talk about something more relevant to my interests plz

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:20, archived)
done any Simpsons quizzes lately?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)
no, you?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:23, archived)
6

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)
cool

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)
which sideshow character are you?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:28, archived)
Long haired bent fanny

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:46, archived)
there's no need for name-calling
it was just a question
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:37, archived)
I've had a alcohol, soz,

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:42, archived)
gender fluidity?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)
now we're talking
my gender is fluid as fuck yo
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:25, archived)
i made some gender fluid from my peanus

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:29, archived)
ovine bestiality?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:23, archived)
when i grow up i'm going to bovine university

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)
Did you hack that billboard and put the swastikas on it doves

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:52, archived)
Madonna's holiday is a good record and anyone who says otherwise can get to fuck.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:20, archived)
Agreed
keyword: Jellybean Benitez
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:22, archived)
</s> bent...oh hahahaha

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)
She peaked in the 90's and will never better Ray of Light
Keywords: William Orbit
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)
She peaked in the early 80s
I grant you, Ray of Light is well-made album though
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:41, archived)
I liked her best before she was famous she's become too commercialised now shame

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:50, archived)
She should kill herself

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:09, archived)
NO WAY
Her actual peak was the Vogue era, tbh.
express yourself, etc.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:53, archived)
John Barnes' rap is phenomenal.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:57, archived)
Agreeing with tbpoh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:25, archived)
Heard her described as Oldfrapp

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:43, archived)
Alison Goldfrapp isn't much younger is she?
and probably a lesbian
still would mind
/sozladyboarders
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:52, archived)
I'd probably even gave given it up for Lauper tbh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:58, archived)
Eww, dude

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:08, archived)
The Immaculate Collection is a near perfect single compilation
Live To Tell is the worst and that isn't even that bad
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:41, archived)
^

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:52, archived)
this is a surprising but welcome endorsement of pop music on /talk

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:28, archived)
Well this is got to be the bentest thread ever.
Also featuring the bentest subthread ever.
London? Bent pride central. New York? Full of bents. Amsterdam? Probably invented bent. Holiday songs? Super double bent. And Madonna? Queen of the queerbo bent 90s queers.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:14, archived)
No u

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:15, archived)
You should be called Dick McBent

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:21, archived)
yep

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:16, archived)
Yeah?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:21, archived)
Yeah, yeah?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:25, archived)

yeahyeah?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:37, archived)
You are only annoyed as you got an erection from reading it all

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:19, archived)
2 erections

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:22, archived)
hey, don't bring my tea set into this, that's not bent at all

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:22, archived)
It's a little bit bent.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 16:30, archived)

Ah well, never mind eh?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 19:37, archived)
Sounds shit

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 17:45, archived)
sorry to hear about your sister m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 17:52, archived)
^

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:30, archived)
Did you get her pregnant? Oh hahahaha

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 18:47, archived)
[mcbeef thread placeholder]

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:04, archived)
#infest

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:05, archived)
bit gender specific

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
I'm putting the 'miss' into misogyny

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
chz bbz

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
Let's not fight eh?
check out the hilarious name of this new project?

What do you find childishly hilarious?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:32, archived)
it was a toss up between that and 'penetrated bumhole'

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
The villages and towns of West Oxfordshire are mere gobbits of sperm on the breasts of the city.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:39, archived)
so did God manage to jerk his cock like casting a fishing rod at the moment of climax
so that his spunk spattered in a charming ring around Oxford, or did he call in some mates to do a proper bukkake on that market town slut?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:42, archived)
I'll pray on it, see what he says.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:43, archived)
the volkswagen-audi-skoda-seat group are called VAG
and many of them use wheel bearings by FAG.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
I don't see anything funny there.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:39, archived)
that's why everyone calls you a funsponge m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
Oh dear.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)
It's the sort of thing local government should be proud of.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:40, archived)
The project must have required the whole team to come together.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
you probably already know, but that new episode of rick and morty is on netfix, watched it at the weekend

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:23, archived)
I'd never seen R&M before
watched the first one of the series, it was okay, laughed a couple of times. I'd watch it again if it was on but I don't see what all the fuss is about.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:39, archived)
as with so many things, episode one of the first series doesn't really do the show justice
give it a couple more episodes, if you're interested. you'll either like it or you won't. i love it, but it doesn't deserve the amount of hype it gets. the internet ruins everything.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)
It's another one of those things that's good but its fans are awful.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:48, archived)
that's pretty much everything

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:49, archived)
to varying degrees, yes.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:55, archived)
^^
I didn't think much of it after an episode but then went back for a second try on a quiet night, and bingewatched the whole series in one sitting.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:49, archived)
I had episode 2 on in the background
and just got bored and did something else.

If it comes on I'll watch it but I'm not going to all the effort of actually selecting it on Netflix over something good, like, Police Stop Shoot Action Chase or whatever.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:08, archived)
I couldn't make it past the first few minutes
I've so many things I really want to watch/read etc that I don't have time for, that I'm happy just to let it go. But I already slightly hated it before I watched it due to internet wankery, I must confess
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:58, archived)
Those very rare occasions
When someone does a massive sneeze and accidentally twats their head.
That and squeaky farts.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:39, archived)
Farts require timing to be genuinely funny, but can be hilarious.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:43, archived)
Especially the squeaky ones

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:46, archived)
£950 a month to rent a room with a shit adult bunkbed in it.
www.vice.com/en_uk/article/j5qy9d/london-rental-opportunity-of-the-week-an-adult-bunk-bed-in-hackney
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:45, archived)
fucking hell

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:47, archived)
seems cheap, what's the catch?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:50, archived)
tannelised wood around the futon

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
Good job it's not your brother's gaff, it'd still be soggy.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)
I expect that wood was all ground up to chips and glued into boards
then cut up to make the sort of miserably generic flat pack furniture that all rental accommodation is made of.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
Not round here they're not.
We've got a BHF that specialises in furniture and electrics.

I heard somewhere that you need a recent giro to buy the white goods because they were sick of scumlords buying them all up and depriving the actual needy.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)
what's a BHF?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:31, archived)
British Heart Foundation.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)
oh right
the scam here was Poles dropping off bin liners at UK houses with "donate your unwanted clothes", which would then end up here in our "used clothes by weight" stores which aren't affiliated to any charity whatsoever. Just a way of preying on British charitable behaviour for an easy profit.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:42, archived)
At my old gaff you'd often see a pair of Roma women stood in those clothes bins raking through them for things to weigh in.
One time they were steadfastly ignoring a 'city warden' who was trying to get them to stop.

There's a couple of those weigh-in places here, but they don't even pretend to be part of a charity.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)
nothing, what's a BHF with you?
ajajaja
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)
lol, good one Timon!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:56, archived)
good one golby

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
Looks alright

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
If nothing else, that series ensures that I remember how lucky I am to own my own home.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:52, archived)
The one that's tiled on the floor and walls is disturbing.
www.vice.com/en_uk/article/vd8yzj/london-rental-opportunity-of-the-week-a-kind-of-wipe-down-tiled-hellscape-in-walthamstow
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)
Somehow more chilling than the house full of horror memorabilia.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:05, archived)
this is grim and all.
www.vice.com/en_uk/article/gq9wjj/london-rental-opportunity-of-the-week-a-75-million-birmingham-mega-brothel
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:10, archived)

top kek
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
I just want people to watch this.
thumbs.gfycat.com/UncommonRelieved.no.Fishing.no.cats-size_restricted.gif
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:54, archived)
that url is misleading , no fishing or cats

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:55, archived)
Hang on

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
dunno why you like cats, they're a fish's natural enemy

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)
I think fishing cats are quite rare, I saw on in a zoo once , didn't see what bivvy it had

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:43, archived)
their lack of thumbs probably gives them a hard time using the reel.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:49, archived)
the google image search for cat in bivvy is very disappointing

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:53, archived)
best i could find
www.fish-on-friday.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/19601_934517543237924_1749030789431058769_n.jpg
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)
haha, aww

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)
My manager ringing up a client and pissing himself asking to be put through to Weldon Wang. Then hanging up.
Hopefully they don't have caller display or the next call to them is going to be awkward.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)
I am Weldon Wang AMA!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)
Would you mind if we emailed you instead?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:55, archived)
yes, that would be great

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
Is your nickname the Wangster?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:56, archived)
wangy to my mates

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
do you know anywhere I can get a decent cuppa?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
Ball Hill Diner

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:18, archived)
cheers

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:26, archived)
I had yet another email from Matthew Bender of Taylor Cocks yesterday
He won't take a fucking hint
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
"Cease and desist you fucking chutney."

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
i wonder if these would turn up, and not smashed, i like them
www.aliexpress.com/item/1-Pc-Six-Color-Mixed-Ice-Crackle-Porcelain-Tea-Cup-With-Fish-Pattern-Ceramic-Tea-Cup/32615070638.html
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 14:55, archived)
they'd have to replace or refund if they were damaged

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:05, archived)
yeah but it's china from China, might be a hassle

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:08, archived)
30ml isn't a lot of tea

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
i'm more in it for the fish

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
That tea thread went a bit negative vibes eh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:30, archived)
Builders' tea, eh? Bet you could drink a cup whilst parking the van.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:30, archived)
Haha, yeah

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)
Wakki, huh?
And lol, let's not forget about the lol.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
Not in my van, fuck off

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)
is this some gay sex thing?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)
I don't drink tea
or rather, I don't drink the fucking awful stuff that counts for tea in the UK.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:35, archived)
No wonder you got deported to Poland.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
voluntary exile m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
obvious trolling

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)
it's troo m8
son of a builder, yet I can't stomach a brew. The taste is just all wrong.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
'the' taste?
there's like 40,000 varieties of tea and... oh fuck this and fuck you
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
you chose to respond, you wound yourself up

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)
yeah, that's how this works

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
you've decided to get all upset m8
if someone said they didn't like the taste of cigarettes or whisky or fish would you get as worked up?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
i don't eat fish

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
they'd gobble you up in a heartbeat

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:09, archived)
I probably taste like chicken

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:28, archived)
i would get as worked up, yes. i.e. 'not very'
i'm just weary. it sometimes feels like this place has a groundhog day thing going on. you're ned ryerson
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:09, archived)
we've had this tea argument loads of times, grrry doesn't like it and somebody always goes on about there being loads of different teas, its depressing

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)
really? huh
i thought i had all the circular arguments on here memorised but this one must have slipped through the net
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:13, archived)
yep, looks like it last happened in may

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)
that was a spanishfly thread though, so nobody cared

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)
we should do the you can't buy vodka anywhere outside of eastern europe one again

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)
i'm going to cook a nice slow beef curry today with the sirloin steak i got from the farmers market

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
lol
I love a trip down the /talk memory hole.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:19, archived)
was it bou who was taking some oxygenating snake oil to make all the electrons fall off her cancer?
that was a good one
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)
Search me, most of the good threads happened when I wasn't looking.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
that's no coincidence m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:37, archived)
Shut up, manolith.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)
I apologise for being rude to you
and I will try my best to make sure I never harsh your /talk buzz again
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
post another frinkiak link, that'll cheer you up
it's not crushingly repetitive in the slightest
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:13, archived)
is it ok if i call you upset and worked up now?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
you can call me what you like, it's never stopped you before

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)
yeah that's the real problem with the uk, limited supply and complete lack of retail choices

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:42, archived)
Bet he drinks Typhoo.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:43, archived)
so as a tea drinker
what's the difference between typhoo and pg tips and Yorkshire tea and that? Can you describe it like Jilly Goolden would?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:26, archived)
Yorkshire Tea is nice, PG Tips is alright. Typhoo is just brown water.
Something something malty something something tannin something something.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:29, archived)
you haven't helped in any sense whatsoever

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:32, archived)
there's just no tea drinking culture or history in the UK, that's the real issue

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
that's a shame

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)
is there a ritualised amount of stirring you're supposed to do
after heaping three spoonfuls of white sugar into your PG Tips?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
Can I ask you a question m8?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
As long as it's not about my bottom

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)
It's just, well, you seem to be assuming that because you're Kentish working class scum with no refinement, that I'm the same
I just wondered why that was, that's all
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
probably because I'm completely incapable of comprehending anything outside the pathetic bubble of existence I inhabit m8
hth
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:53, archived)
Ah, got it - thanks for clearing that up

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:54, archived)
Upper class scum with no refinement?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)
THANK YOU

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:19, archived)
Russian Caravan tea is rather enjoyable.
Gives you a feel of being in a gyppos horse driven carriage with a smoking roof.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)
Patricia Routledge was the first woman to spit on a cock to make it hard. That cock belonged to Sidney Poitier.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:40, archived)
#factoids

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)
Worms have no word for spaghetti

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
which makes translating eminem's body of work into their language particularly difficult

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:54, archived)
#wakkitoids

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)
TIL that the chipmunks recorded an astonishing 54 albums
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_and_the_Chipmunks_discography

what did YL, T?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)
DLT
doing a DDT
on YM
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:42, archived)
Have you been at the cooking sherry today m8?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
sadly, i understood what he meant

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)
over 640 million people in india don't have a toilet

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)
where do they go to do a bit of sniff?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
Behind the bin shed off the back of a shed seven CD jewel case

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
when i was in school; we had to make a clock in technology class
my friend dave c made a shed seven clock because he was 'their biggest fan'
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:54, archived)
+ny

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:54, archived)
we was a bit
we used to quote the south park movie to each other endlessly
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
That's only one rung below Python, m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
we were about 14 years old at the time, to be fair

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:10, archived)

media.giphy.com/media/wYyTHMm50f4Dm/source.gif
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)
did it have any other numbers on it?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)
no, actually. but the 7 was in the wrong place

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
I hope it was in the 12 position
and when both hands reached the top, some doors opened and a little Rick Witter popped out on a spring.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)
i didn't know you were a clock maker, what movement did you put inside, what was the power reserve between windings

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)
it looked a lot like this, if it helps
http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTAwWDUwMA==/z/gdIAAOxy0x1TVi8G/$_3.JPG?set_id=2

only mine was on a snooker table
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
+Does your chewing gum lose its flavour

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
that's what puts me off going

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
my mother in law stepped in a human turd on the banks of the Ganges

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)
at least it was a change from giving birth to one

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:50, archived)
that's not very nice is it

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:53, archived)
sorry I made you cry richard

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)
wolf, m8 - the phrase is 'cry wolf'

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)
^ one cunt crying wolf pack

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)
righto

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)

it was one of the better thread of last year
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
no it wasn't

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:03, archived)
oh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)
lol.
When I was in Edinburgh I nipped down some steps and nearly did that.

I knew it was a human turd, because dogs and cats don't typically leave a pile of shit covered napkins next to their business.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)
Today we've used up all the resources that the earth naturally replenishes in a year
so we've got five more months to live on tick
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)
off the back of this
I have LT that the same group of musicians played on the 2nd Alvin and the Chipmunks album that played on Frank Zappa's Lumpy Gravy
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)
I think I'd probably prefer the Chipmunks record

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)

the Chipmunks record bum gravy
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:27, archived)
Fuck off mate. It's a nice day. Wind it up.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:50, archived)
Tea is up there with gin on the broadsword list of shit drinks

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
gin, yes
tea, no
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:54, archived)
That Aldi gin that won that award is mediocre, good value but nothing remotely special
#RichardsReviews
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)
A lot of awards are just industry backslapping or a fake way to generate promition though

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:03, archived)
but there are like 40,00 types of gin m8
fuck that and fuck you
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
yet I quite enjoy drinking both
what a world eh
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:03, archived)
you dirty fucking cunt

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)

o a
+water
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)
it's alright
www.ableforths.com/bathtub-gin/
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 12:40, archived)
OK. Fine. New thread time, not about builders, cars or food
I'm trying to get work to subscribe me to the full Adobe Creative Suite for two years. What would make your job easier?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
My job is already pretty easy. An apprentice to carry the tools might help.
b3ta.com/talk/8103262
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)
I hear Rory McIlroy's caddy is free
he'd be good
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:23, archived)
One of my main jobs is documenting upgrades and addons for the Adobe Creative stuff
specifically Experience Manager. Yet the firm won't buy me any tools whatsoever so I have to do it all with freeware shit.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)
Bitches not being bitches

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:29, archived)
What are your 99 other problems?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)
Red balloons
The fucking worst
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
neunundneunzig luftballons
sounds way better than "ninety nine red balloons".
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)
The German version of Heroes sounds a very sinister song
Although Abba in German is still upbeat.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)
a hug and a kiss

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)
That costs extra

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)
a wrap of whizz and two trips

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
standard

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
i dunno. i'm sat here playing zelda and waiting for this shitty mac to export a video from avid media composer
so things are already pretty easy
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
i guess if the computer wasn't so shitty, it'd make things easier
ok. i'll have a new computer please
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
Why have you got mcbeef's coat?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
i was cold, i was naked, he was there, he was there. i was cold, i was naked, he was there

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)
Well, that's a disturbing image.
Naked manolith, and the shit-coated messiah.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:46, archived)
turns out that the creed, colour, name etc DOES matter to some people though

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)

cold beatboxing
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)
Lube

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
Tearing up the geneva convention

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)
Genocide.
No, that's too much. Forced sterilisation of an entire generation, that'd do.
I suppose "support for eugenics" still lumps me in with the Nazis?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)
monkey butlers

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:54, archived)
and sporks and better airline food and different coloured laces for my converse

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)
Well sporky and waaaagh.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
+the crimebusters of the sea

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:11, archived)
an optician
every time i do a jobbie my eyes water
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:12, archived)
Paul Young's less successful &c.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 11:21, archived)
The conciliation service wants us to pay £1,000
but the Citizens Advice Bureau says let them try and take us to court, they don't have a chance.

When were you last in a quandary?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:16, archived)
An employer once paid my invoice in Euros instead of Zlotys so I got four times as much money
and when I told HR they said just keep it because the firm does this shit all the time and they never learn. But I knew it wasn't right and it could come back to bite me in the arse but it was also three months' extra wages.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:19, archived)
I got paid £1,800 extra in my first paycheck for a company
I did query it, but was told it was a PAYE thing - I'd been unemployed for a couple of months and dropped a tax band as a result and got a huge refund. That was a good day.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:43, archived)
not sure whether to answer the question or just post a rude reply

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:20, archived)
I've gone with rude.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)
yeah, but you've gone cerebral rude instead of 'lol bummers'

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)
i'm only going to reply to sub threads not the op

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)
Op seems to have abandoned thread.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:35, archived)
nope still banging on

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:45, archived)
show him your muff

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:23, archived)

themadmusicasylum.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/2b9td1gl.jpg
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:48, archived)
THE MUFF IS FORBIDDEN

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:53, archived)
fucks sake that happened last time I posted the same image
you'd think I might learn

edit: put a different one in now
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)
PLEASE USE REPLACEMENT BUM SERVICE

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)
Is this about you trying to rip off a struggling contractor with your bourgeois greed?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:20, archived)
oh don't ask follow up questions, it's all a u ok hun ploy

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)
oh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)
If he wanted advice he'd stump for a lawyer with his millions instead of using up vital free services like CAB put in place for the needy and downtrodden.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:23, archived)
might delete my reply, didn't realise it wasn't a genuine question

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)
Look, just go with it

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)
My Dad's been a builder for nearly 50 years now
after visiting his last house, I've come to the sad conclusion that he's not actually a very good builder, he's just better than all the cowboys.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)
My dad's a builder too
he's good with bricks, plaster and an expert welder but has real problems with timber. He generally ends up resorting to silicone when it comes to carpentry.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)
my old man's a brickie
and his walls are straight and his pointing's top notch, but he never finishes a job so there are always annoying little bits that still need finishing a decade later.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:19, archived)
I have noticed that many builders
tend to get bored when working on their own projects. My dad never quite seems to finish any of his own builds, they go on interminably.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:26, archived)

and his walls are straight and his pointing's top notch, but he never finishes a job so there are always annoying little bits that still need finishing a decade later he wears a brickie's hat
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)

uil end
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)

johnnyvoid.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/ymca-construction-worker.png
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
Worked though
and we've had worse threads...
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:42, archived)
It's another world for the liberal elite

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:36, archived)
I had a very interesting conversation with their head electrician
We'd had extra work carried out and paid for that separately a couple of weeks ago. He said the company had completely overextended itself and was unable to deal with the workload. His team had been trying to work over 20 sites at the same time at one point and he agreed with us that they were totally trying it on and that we were in the right. From one of their own team.

They can go and fuck themselves, greedy cunts.

They changed the specification of the project without consulting the clients, we only found out when we measured the floor-to-ceiling height. We wrote a complaint letter in November and they only explained what they'd done in a reply in February. They cannot charge for work they've not done, and expect to get paid for different work when it has never been discussed, costed or agreed.

If they write off the final bill we won't pursue them for the damage they did to our bath or wooden floors.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)
So they adjusted the ceiling height from the original plan?
What reason did they give? I'm on your side really if work isn't completed properly, just interested in how they thought they might get away with it?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:42, archived)
They said they'd need to lower the ceilings on the first floor
to give a floor to ceiling height in the 2nd floor dorma of 201cm. They got in, realised it was a headache and just took the ceilings out and replaced them giving a floor to ceiling height in the dorma of 197cm and never actually lowered the ceilings on the first floor.

The architect's drawings I signed off have a ceiling height on the first floor of 225cm and on the 2nd floor of 201cm. What I ended up with is a ceiling height of 235cm on the first floor and 197cm in the new dorma.

If they'd taken the time to discuss it with me and send out new drawings and given me a new contract then fine. But they didn't. They just carried on. Had we known about the change we may have redesigned the layout of the whole top floor as it totally fucked up the shower unit in the ensuite. Our agreement is clear and they have broken it.

If they'd not gone 3 months over the agreed project time and disappeared from the site for weeks a time and been totally out of contact then I may be more amenable but they have been utter cunts throughout the whole build.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)
Sounds like the type of people
Who end up getting sued by all and sundry, then dissolve the company and start a new one with a similar name so you can't go after them for money
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:56, archived)
Well, they do have a sneaky one
they do the quote under one name, but all the invoices come from another company. This is why I didn't find any bad stuff about them online when I searched, and I visited one of their projects down the road and the family who'd had a loft done were very happy with the work.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)
I do not foresee you getting any money

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)
If you do take them to court
Try getting the judgment against the owner of the company rather than the company itself
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)
Oh, that's fine - they are trying to get money out of us
and we are refusing to pay because they haven't done the work. The trade body is trying to get us to stump up but they'll have to take us to the small claims, which they'd be mad to as we can prove they've not fulfilled the agreement we had. They could even end up paying us some back as we've got a schedule of losses from the damage they've done.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:08, archived)
Yeah, those sort of changes ought to be run through a client before they're done.
Sounds like you've got a firm that is going to fold at the first sign of a lawsuit.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
Well, the quote for lowering of the ceilings was £2k
and we owe them £2k and we're going through a process of conciliation via their trade body at the moment. We're going to propose writing the whole thing off. They can try to take us to the small claims court but CAB have advised us that the courts look very unfavourably on people who fail to come to an agreement through that process then resort to a legal claim so they are not on a winner there.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)
tell them you'll settle it over a game of arrows

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)
You still haven't said what they're reason for not doing it was beyond "couldn't be bothered"
Which I imagine isn't their official statement.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:13, archived)
They have gone to great lengths to describe how they had to do major structural work
to the floors and ceiling. They won't respond to any talk about how this was never discussed or agreed by us. They're totally evasive and threatening. I guess it works with many other clients so they just try it on.

I got a quote from them and even asked for clarification "does this cover all structural work?" they said yes, but lowering the ceilings would be £2k extra. Now they claim that they have done the work, but can't explain how if the ceilings were 235cm before and still 235cm now. It's like banging your head against a brick wall. Well, a plasterboard and studding wall anyway.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)
gutted

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)
Yesterday

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)
Met Hitler
Didn't kill him.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)
dummkopf!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:53, archived)
There isn't a moment I don't think about this
Didn't even get an autograph
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:56, archived)
probably when i last excavated some construction aggregate


oh, quandry. sorry.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:43, archived)
with this pun, you've hit rock bottom

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)
you might soon be able to get a ferry home to thanet

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:48, archived)
Transeuropa running again?
used to be 4 hours from Ramsgate to Ostende
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)
Polferries, gdansk to ramsgate is the idea

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)
It's 1200miles once you've gone around Jutland.
Stockholm to Riga is a 1/4 of the distance and that's 17 hours, so 68 hours from Gdansk to Ramsgate, or three full days. Fuck that.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)
No pleasing some people

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:01, archived)
I don't get paid leave, I can't spend a week on a boat just to visit my family for a day.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
Actually I spose its great for cargo
You could train it there from all over central europe and get it to blighty just as quick as trucking it but for a fraction of the cost, especially considering labour.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)
i think it would be mainly cargo, ramsgate needs to use that port for something , it's just rotting

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:12, archived)
just like that massive fucking runway that could take concorde or airbus dreamliners
The one right next to a fucking motorway that gets to London in an hour, that's completely ringed by a railway line that terminates at two separate London stations and also hooks up with the Eurostar at Ashford.

It's a fucking disgrace how that island's been managed.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:16, archived)
I'd just like to say that this is *frightfully* interesting

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:18, archived)
you might prefer builder chat further up the thread

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:19, archived)
local news m8, only for Old Kentonians
you can start a London thread whenever you're ready
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)
What an attractive prospect!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)
The Ramsgate ferry was great for me
If you're heading to the UK from the east, the Belgian port was an hour's less drive than Calais, and it dropped me off an hour closer to home. Crossing took two hours longer than Dover-Calais so arrival was the same, but I got 4 hours rest and the chance of a fry up rather than arriving in Thanet road-shattered and starving.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:01, archived)
It's the "arriving in Thanet" part that puts me off.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:09, archived)
when I did arrive in thanet
the border bloke clocked the Polish plates on my car, walked up to my window and said with a big smile "Dzien dobry".

He was really upset when I replied "wotchamate, here's me passport".
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:21, archived)
The trouble with you emigrants, is that you make no effort to assimilate.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
you're such an enabler
frinkiac.com/video/S06E09/X8uAZMpl6qKS4SMgXM95z7qJCU4=.gif
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)
Rowdy Roddy Peeper

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)
Slag

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)
sHail our best pun ever

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:56, archived)
Not even in my Top 10 Dinobots.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)
are there even 10?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)
Search me.
Reckon I could name 4, but never underestimate Hasbro's ability to pump out endless variations on a theme.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:59, archived)
vg

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)
morning

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:14, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:31, archived)
late reply

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)
morning.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:37, archived)
tardy response

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)
morning

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)
del-AIDS

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
Morning.
By being a spastic I seem to have managed to order the same record from discogs twice.
Anybody want a copy of Le Tigre's millennium busting record Feminist Sweepstake?
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:48, archived)
I've already got two
one for scratching of course.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:53, archived)
It's got some excellent break beats for my late night set at The Grind club.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:57, archived)
I did that the other week with a record by SCSI-9

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:55, archived)
Please don't reply to me.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:56, archived)
You big ginger spastic!

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:58, archived)
Should probably have moved on to USB, by now.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:59, archived)
moving from parallel to serial bus is a shit idea

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:02, archived)
lol, nerd

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:36, archived)
no thanks m8

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:19, archived)
I heard a Nina Simone track the other night that would be right up your DJ alley I reckon.
Something about a Mosquito.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
Funkier than a Mosquito's Tweeter
It's DAH BAHMB
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
That's it.
I was #kitchendancing
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:41, archived)
^living well

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:47, archived)
it's your fault I'm late

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
RiP

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:42, archived)
lol lesbians

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:33, archived)
Woah. What. I wouldn't have bought had I known.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:43, archived)
has it got deceptacon on it?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:48, archived)
I don't know what you're asking.
The records have not been delivered yet.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)
I checked, it hasn't
or the other one I know by them
I think you bought the wrong record
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)
I'm confused

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:11, archived)
I quite liked Bikini Kill

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:17, archived)
Monringo

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:50, archived)
manana attitute to responding today

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:52, archived)
we tried to respond but you were out, here's a card

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
Morning.
Went to bed early, last night, and am feeling all the better for it.
Yay, sleep!
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:56, archived)

I went to bed at 9.30 last night, then was woken up at midnight and kept awake till now by what sounded like a hurricane ripping through our campsite - half expected that the tent would be somewhere in the Atlantic by now :-(
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:01, archived)
Banshees, m8.
Better move that tent.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:04, archived)

If they were banshees they were bloody wet ones - bastards, and they seem to have sabotaged the campsite tumble drier which just warms up your wet clothes at a cost of 20p for 3 minutes.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)
The mistake you've made is not getting a nice comfy hotel.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
Where's the fun in that?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:28, archived)
I am happy to camp where necessary for a festival or a long bike trip ,
But choosing to sleep in a plastic bag for fun is alien to me.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:44, archived)
Maybe not everyone is as rich as you lord windy pig eh

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:51, archived)
A bivvy is part of a wider hobby.
I meant no disrespect.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)
A bivvy is not a tent, ffs windy

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:16, archived)
Well, it's almost a tent

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:17, archived)
what about wooden cabins with no running water or toilets or showers and that?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:03, archived)
Sounds alright to me.
Little wood burning stove and some peace and quiet.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
We're staying in a static caravan, instead of a tent, for our holiday, this year,
but I'd quite like to fit in a proper camping trip, at some point (WoWo in Sussex is a family favourite, as they're very accommodating of campfires).
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)

You sound just like my very irritable wife...
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:38, archived)
She's got a point.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:44, archived)

It wouldn't be a problem if the South West would just have consistent, beautiful weather throughout August.
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:50, archived)
Are you new to England?

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:51, archived)
belated reply

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
Thanks for validating my participation in this, the most morningest of morning threads.

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)
morning

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 7:58, archived)
slowly getting there with the morning responses

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)
yo ho ho

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)
all caught up

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)
I didn't even notice you were behind

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:34, archived)
kennethwilliams.jpg

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)
if my tiny peenus were a sword in a Tolkien book
it'd be called Cracktickler
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:37, archived)

img6.dmty.pl//uploads/201011/1288893279_by_msdynamite_600.jpg
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:40, archived)
looks like Wizbit

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:46, archived)
cheers m8
This was the sunrise at 4am today
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:48, archived)
ooh pretty

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:52, archived)
The big tower on the left
is Zlota 44, and it's blocking my view of the Palace
(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 8:58, archived)
looks bent

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:07, archived)
it's all just glorified cabbage storage

(, Wed 2 Aug 2017, 9:10, archived)
Alright thread

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:12, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:13, archived)
RUDE

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:04, archived)
Alright.
.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:17, archived)
MODS!!!11111!!!11!!!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:35, archived)
you ain't stealthy m8t

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:45, archived)
I'd have gotten away with it,
if it weren't for that meddling mongy.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:08, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:19, archived)
broado

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:04, archived)
shitcunt

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:30, archived)
Richard

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:05, archived)
I miss Frank

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:54, archived)
He was 50 the other day

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:03, archived)
wanky wanky wanky wanky wank

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:05, archived)
This site would be dead on its arse without wanky wank wank

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:18, archived)
aiiiiiiiit

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:13, archived)
Jase

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:19, archived)
Not alright.
Just found out my little sister has cancer.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:58, archived)
Fingers crossed it's the sort that can be beaten into remission.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:27, archived)
I hope so

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:42, archived)
she already said
it's a little sister
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:56, archived)
Shit news :(
Hope that it is easily treatable, and it fucks right off.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:38, archived)
My elder sister and brother have both had it
She's terrified in case the kids find out
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:44, archived)
How old are the kids?
Best to try and keep a big lid on it until more is known I suppose.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 18:46, archived)
They're only 9
She's having a second biopsy done Friday. They told her about it but understandably she didn't register anything once she heard the word cancer
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:15, archived)
This was a shit alright thread anyway

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:03, archived)
Always hard to hear someone has cancer.
Hopefully it's one of the less serious variants and nice and early so your sister can kick it and carry on regardless.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:30, archived)
It's weird
Eldest got skin cancer at 40, my brother got colon and liver cancer at 40 and she turned 40 in February
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:41, archived)
I'm picking 40 for the bonus ball in the pub this week, and you win 40 quid , every cloud eh

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 19:59, archived)
oh i'm so sorry to hear that smashy :(

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 20:23, archived)
^^^^^

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 20:38, archived)
My head's a bit battered
I think it's worse because she's my little sister
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 20:49, archived)
aight (street speak)

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 20:24, archived)
Remember, guys:
Please go easy on the misogynistic "I would" type posts whenever a picture of an attractive lady is posted on the board. Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of lady boarders. Besides, even if you would, she probably wouldn't.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:57, archived)
pipe down, sweetheart

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:58, archived)
the things I would do to you
it would break every rule
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:59, archived)
there's only one lady boarder on here now
and she's too busy to entertain the idea of putting any of the willies here near her orifices. We all know that, she knows that we know that, so it's all just harmless banter and anyone who gets upset is just a tumblrina SJW glitterati cunt. Also, we're all virgins.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:01, archived)
stop appropriating black culture you racist

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:01, archived)
I don't believe in black culture
although there's some nice black kids in my apartment complex now, I think they're staying with their Polish grandparents for the summer or something.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:04, archived)
"tumblrina"?
Fuck off and die, the internet.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)
as a gentleman and a master swordsman i would never do any such thing
respecting women is kind of my thing
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:05, archived)
*tips fedora*

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:06, archived)
m'doveston

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)
The mrs has just figured out that the whole of Game of Thrones season plots have been dumped on the internet
And now is panicking she may have ruined the rest of the series after reading lots of fan theory websites over the past 24 hours.

The only way she can know is either reading the leaked stuff, or wait to watch the episodes, yknow like a normal person would.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
*spoiler*
Sir Gawain turns up and kills everyone.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:09, archived)
was he the one who knobbed Gueneviere when Arthur wasn't looking?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:10, archived)
wasn't that lances a lot

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
*spoiler*
The dragons bum in front of the Night King and he writes a strongly worded email to Points of View
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
No matter what happens, the tv series is going to ruin the book.
Unless they end differently, in which case I shall complain that the TV series has mucked up the story.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:22, archived)
I highly doubt the books will even be finished
GRRM has been one waffer thin mint away from a heart attack for a while now, and its been 6 years since the last one came out
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:32, archived)
^ I fear this of true.
He already announced that, in the event of his death, the TV series represents the approved ending to the books, which I took to be a tacit admission that he doesn't expect to finish writing it.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)
it's ok she shouldn't worry because game of thrones is boring and shit

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:24, archived)
chrsit m7+1, how can you get bored of tits and dragons and blood in an endless march of one hour episodes dragged out over a decade?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)
twin peaks is my weekly reason to steal programming from sky atlantic at the moment
sunday's episode was good, it was about turnips i think, i dunno
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)
twin peaks is objectively better than anything else on tv at the moment

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:43, archived)
Is it?
Might have to give it a watch then. As a philistine who hasn't seen the original run is it worth going back to those first?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:03, archived)
yes

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 17:11, archived)
I've vowed to revist the old ones and FWWM first, but so far haven't watched any.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:13, archived)
i like the idea of all of that except the tits

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:30, archived)
There's some willy, too.
Something for everyone.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:40, archived)
i'm in

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:55, archived)
...Besides, even if you would, he probably wouldn't.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:59, archived)
don't kid yourself

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:03, archived)
SHe likes Game of Thrones
I like Westworld, yet somehow we make it work. We agree on Legion though, so phew
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)
it's good that you agree legion is shit

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:42, archived)
Nuh uh
It was very good. Then again, I find the Lethal Weapon series quite watchable.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:44, archived)
I liked Westworld.
Especially how as the robots got seemingly more human, most of the humans became increasingly less so.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:15, archived)
The next season is going to be some mind bending shit hopefully
Where people are on the menu.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:39, archived)
There's a theory there's other worlds or saink.
Final series of Halt and Catch Fire in a few weeks and all.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:50, archived)
Haven't watched the series since about season 2 or 3, read the books instead
Have they confirmed or debunked the most famous fan theory in the show yet? R+L=J would be the non spoiler way of putting it
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)
Up there me and I'll tell you
Cos I don't understand your word maths
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:39, archived)
And then J+D at then end?
I'll be surprised if it doesn't go that way.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:42, archived)
depends how pissed i was

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
oh

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)
I asked her, and she told me to tell you that she would.
Also, she doesn't need you acting like a "white Knight" - she's a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
don't lie

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)
Not only would she, but she did. With me.
Also, she lives in Canada and you wouldn't know her.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:24, archived)
she's dead, isn't she?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:28, archived)
We consummate our love on the astral plane.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:33, archived)
You ever seen there's a reddit thing called "gentleman boners"
Which appears to be photos of women in fancy clothes and lots of weirdos trying to not say "I would" when all they really want is for someone to touch them.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:24, archived)
yeah i had a look at the red pill too

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:25, archived)
You gave your penus a nickname!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)
I've pulled a few boners, in my time.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:25, archived)
alright 'CAMRA'

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:04, archived)
Alright manolith.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:10, archived)
*gifs*

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:32, archived)
what a bunch of pricks

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:28, archived)
i've got the bumhole pic if you'd rather
imgur.com/a/vLRx2
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:28, archived)
she looks like shes been crying

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)
she's happy here
imgur.com/a/QrCfv
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:31, archived)
about time

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)
I like the fact they called her catpiss neverclean on set because she stinks

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)
It's a special kind of stupid that assumes a photo like that won't come back to bite them on the arse.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:44, archived)
i think it was the bumhole and fanny ones she didn't like leaked

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:48, archived)
I look forward to explaining to my kids why it'd be a bad idea to entrust a picture of your fanny to "the cloud".

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:51, archived)
i would think your daughter is already well aware

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:01, archived)
Without context, this sounds worse than it is.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:08, archived)
m8 if you have pictures of her leaking bumhole and fanny please share

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:20, archived)
For diagnostic purposes?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:23, archived)
have a look for yourself
thefappening.wiki/
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:42, archived)
oh
well my mum says I'm handsome and anyway personality is more important so there
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 16:12, archived)
Alright dudes!
Countryfile live is coming to town. I'm looking forward to meeting what's her face. Phwoarrr.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:39, archived)
John Craven?
*oooh candles*
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
Yeah, dreamy.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:45, archived)
Cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:46, archived)
cheers for donating, cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:10, archived)
Cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)
Cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)
Cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:29, archived)
Cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:39, archived)
cheers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:56, archived)
Think of the lady boarder WindlePig

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
Phwoarr

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
^ top banter

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:50, archived)
and where are they refiling you?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:43, archived)
Oho gud 1 m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
Bullying

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)
and still the mods do nothing...

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
i am doing something
it's just that i'm doing it under the desk so nobody can see
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)
I have to say this is a good'un

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:46, archived)
lol

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)
The countryside stinks of shit
Until they sort that out I'm not going back.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:46, archived)
so does the coast, most of the time
nature's fucking awful
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:57, archived)
well gay
count me in
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
Might be real life cows

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:52, archived)
I hope that Adam chap sticks his hand right up the shit chute

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:53, archived)
Filth.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:54, archived)
I didn't realise it was at Blenheim Palace
might pop over have a nose around and see what's going on
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)
£30! they can go fuck themselves

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)
You try and get anywhere near it.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:03, archived)
It's only 28 to hire a boat and fish the lake

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:04, archived)
Is that on top of entry price?
Because that's not cheap.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:15, archived)
Think that's it

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:16, archived)
That's not bad at all then.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:20, archived)
good day out, hard for carp fishing
www.blenheimpalace.com/whats-on/coarse-fishing.html
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:24, archived)
Get me a signed nude of Ellie, plz

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)
I'm not going.
It'll be full of people like 2can.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:04, archived)
Oh they're the worse

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:05, archived)
I hope they moan about how all the hedges and trees have gone
and garden birds are all extinct
and the bees are all dead
and hedgehogs
and some animals that no-one gives a shit about
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:03, archived)
Too many red kites.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
You should build a little hide on wheels so you can get up really close to her

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:06, archived)
I thought your middle class Gloucestershire life style would mean you'd have a ticket so your wife can have a look at the new le creuset stuff
And you can agonise over whether you should start wearing a flat cap and carrying a shooting stick.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
Doubt she'd be interested unless they've got any nice vomit bowls.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)
I really want a set of le creuset pans

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:02, archived)
I've got loads.
They look nice, but they're not really any better than the own brand versions from the supermarket.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)
I considered some but went with judge stainless in the end. I like them.
They've got strainers in the lids and volume markings on the inside so I don't have to dirty my pyrex jug.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
I googled 'judge stainless' and it just came up with loads of pictures of guns.
Kitchen gun?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:52, archived)
I LOVE YOU, KITCHEN GUN!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:52, archived)
haha
see also; toilet grenade
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:57, archived)
Yeah we've got a full set too
I like 'em, nice and sturdy
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
We used to have a set (two saucepans, one griddle, one casserole dish) in a rack on the worktop,
until the boy managed to pull them down on his head. They're not so sturdy that the enamel won't chip off if you drop them.
Fortunately, the boy was made of stronger stuff and didn't get his skull crushed.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:36, archived)
As a kid I accidentally brushed past a caserole in debenhams and knocked it on the floor. One of the handles broke off.
My mum and dad were worried they'd have to shell out for one but the salesman said not to worry about it (as they were trying to buy one anyway).
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:40, archived)
I toppled a large display of beer gift sets that I'd been tasked with stacking, back when I worked in BhS.
Made a right mess, but at least it taught the store manager to think more carefully about how to display such things.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:52, archived)
i bought tefal pans when i moved out
lifetime guarantee my arse
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:22, archived)
Victorian wanking hut

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
So long as your ankles are covered when you masturbate, that's the important thing.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:11, archived)
#infest

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)
like a sea bathing wagon down Margate beach then?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
If you state that it's your primary residence then the police can't touch you, what you do within the privacy of your own home is your business.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:29, archived)
I don't think this is quite how UK law works
if only there was someone around who could clarify
INTERNETLAWYERMAN wiv jade and babby pg xoxox
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:33, archived)
Well if they try to arrest you you just have to knock their hat off and then they can't. Anyway they're not able to cross the threshold unless you invite them in.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:43, archived)
hey doc is it ok to vape weed when you have bronchiectasis?
I mean, it can only help can't it?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
Have you got a nebuliser? You could probably put it in that

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)
ain't got one

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:37, archived)
Yeah I don't really know m8, don't get asked that one much. Have you tried googling it?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:41, archived)
the nhs really needs to update its guidance, it's all based around smoking not vaping

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:46, archived)
it may well be a plant pokemon but i don't think it will care about you smoking weed

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:31, archived)
'It can affect anyone at any age, but symptoms don't usually develop until middle age' hahahaha you old cunt

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:33, archived)
the first bit you rotten bully

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)
This thread makes no sense to me, whatsoever.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:15, archived)
What specifically are you struggling with?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:16, archived)
The words being in the correct order for a start

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)
I have to read the entire board out load and convert it to Yoda speak before I can join in.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:20, archived)
'out load'
you spasticunt
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)
lol, portmanteaux swearing

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:01, archived)
John Craven's Countryfile being sexually arousing.
I've always viewed him as more of a grandfatherly figure.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)
We're talking about Anita Rano

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:21, archived)
Anita Rani was on Strictly, at some point.
Most people on there are in my "I don't know why they're a celebrity" category, and she's no exception.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:41, archived)
She's the host of countryfile. Can you not read?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:41, archived)
She does some consumer affairs stuff on something with that Dom Littlewood plank as well.
I like her.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:49, archived)
gone
www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/takeaway-your-sign1/
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)
it will live on in my memories :/

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:23, archived)
good
I'd chuck a brick through it if I had to live near that light pollution
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:41, archived)
Well, yes, since I've googled her, I now know that.
Countryfile isn't really within my viewing habits, to be honest.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:00, archived)
yet you listen to the Archers

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
I enjoyed the car chases from such films as Bullit, The French Connection and Ronin,
but watching actual motor racing leaves me cold.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:49, archived)
You'd think the beeb would be playing it safe by now and scrapping anything featuring older men and ending in 'file'

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
ellie <3
pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ1IuG1CEAA4BWr.jpg
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
waterboarding a bat, what a bitch :(

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:24, archived)
Never mind that, why has she jammed a tiny ice cream cone into its mouth

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:26, archived)
She looks like she'd still get ID'd in the pub.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:31, archived)
she's 3 year younger than me

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)
Got a couple of months on me, but my boyish good looks are long gone.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)

n
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:58, archived)
Hey, grandfathers can be sexy

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:31, archived)
They start to lose their looks at 28, though

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)
look 0p, right up your street
www.ottega.co.uk/collections/watches/products/the-st-moritz
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)
I'm getting one

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
mental
loads of stuff at 0p
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
most of it looks shit though

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
8 quid shipping explained
www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/5etc7c/can_anyone_tell_me_if_this_site_or_one_big_scam/
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
more
www.ommicron.com/collections/mens-watches
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)
I see
wholesale from China
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
oh yeah they are all shit

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
antiques roadshow is coming to cardiff soon
might try and get some tat from the attic valued
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)
Lunchy-wunchy nom noms thread

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)
I meant to tell you and Richard McBeef to check out the new Dj Rap release.
It's captivatingly awful. Like a pastiche of several bad songs.

djrap.com/detonate-music-video-1
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:40, archived)
DJ CRAP, more like!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:47, archived)
You need to have a listen to that fabriclive mix that Special Request did, it is right up yr street.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:51, archived)
will do.
I didn't realise 1xtra were doing a big garage weekend last week until it was over so I've got some things on the iplayer I need to check out.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)
Brunswick stew for lunch
Traditionally made with grey squirrel but I've plumped for chicken instead
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:43, archived)
I've just looked up a recipe for that
seems to be very heavy on the bbq sauce and brown sugar.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 13:29, archived)
eat shit

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:50, archived)
Elevenses thread
I've probably got 4 whole days to myself coming up soon. No work, no wife, no kids, no responsibilities. Might have a pint and a kebab.

How would you spend 96 hours on your own?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)
Beatboxing in the nude

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)
I doubt even you could do that for four days straight

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:45, archived)
au contraire m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
actually, the hard part is getting him to stop after a mere four days

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)
I've been rehoused by the council four times following complaints

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:59, archived)

r d
h l
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:02, archived)
Naked beatboxing
Or, I dunno, probably #420blayzit and play games. Apart from the dog I do this regularly anyway because most of my mates are boring cunts or reclusives
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)
Depends on the weather.
Probably go somewhere nice for the day, get a bit lashed, kip in a hotel or camp or whatever then come back for a day beatboxing in the nude at home.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:45, archived)
One of the days is a national holiday
I'm tempted to brave the crowds and go and see the military parade downtown with all the missile launchers and shit.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:46, archived)
Add your own "missile" to the parade.
I'm sure the Polish authorities will welcome such a display of solidarity from their allies in the UK.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:48, archived)
Nah, wank it.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
What, the whole crowd?
The poor lad will get RSI.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)
Why would he want to wank someone else's penus

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:15, archived)
sounds a bit gay to me

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:22, archived)
You'd know m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
anhydrobiosis

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:47, archived)
you're more gummy bear than water bear m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
I'm more of a bdelloid

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:54, archived)

d
oi
en
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:59, archived)
^the official name for nude beatboxing

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
explore the upper reaches of the amazon hoping to find a unknown tribe and teach them how to beatbox, they are already nude, dirty sods

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:48, archived)
they're so primitive they don't even know what an 808 clap sounds like

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
go buy one of these and tell me if it's nice, it looks a right treat
mcdonalds.pl/oferta/sniadania/kajzerka-pszenna-podwojna-wieprzowa-deluxe
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
just looks like a ham sandwich to me
I had a Maestro Fresh Deluxe last time I was there, just tasted like a whopper.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)
the translation says it has lobster in it, bit fancy
The freshness of the taste is given by delicate lobster, sweet raspberry tomato, fresh crunchy cucumber and red onion.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:07, archived)
lollerific
that's corn salad/lamb's lettuce. It's like baby baby baby spinach.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:10, archived)
oh i wondered what this was going on about
corn-

Never green enough Slightly peanut flavor pea adds a composition of notes that you will remember for a long time.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:12, archived)
Do they do a bigger one called a 'montego'?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:13, archived)
You've combined car chat with food chat.
mongy must be thrilled.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
Waste it in style

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
you've got no style m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
My bumbag begs to differ

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
playing videogames while beatboxing
in the nude
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
do you beatbox all the in-game sounds?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
sometimes yeah. it's basically this but with groin thrusts
youtu.be/9r01cpNx2vk?t=12s
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:08, archived)
8-bitboxing

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:12, archived)
I rather enjoy my own company, but am not particularly self motivated,
so would probably just idle the time away, with a crushing feeling of regret at the end for all that I might have achieved otherwise.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
that's what I'm worried about
I have a Lego video to finish and that'll be the end of the series for a while, but I just don't know if I can be arsed.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:57, archived)
Are you going to end the series on a nailbiting cliffhanger?
Or just do a doctor who and come back as a woman for the next one
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:06, archived)
I'm just going to trail off and leave all my Indian and German fans hanging in the comments

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:12, archived)
allude to killing off a main character , maybe a silhouette of a lego man laying face down in a ditch

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:14, archived)

ytcropper.com/cropped/PT5980565750911
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:22, archived)
Is he going to get super powers ?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:25, archived)
Actually he got sold to some kid in Malaysia

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
Shame, I was looking forward to hearing the female version of your arduino lego train video voice.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:18, archived)
my wife does all the female voices

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:23, archived)

"my wife"
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/4062556
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
In an ideal world?
In my imaginary recording studio, with all the kit set up and actually fucking working so I could spend my time making music instead of fiddling with shit trying to sort out latency or some bollocks.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:21, archived)
hmmm, I might unpack my guitar and have a cry about how soft my fingertips are these days

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:40, archived)
y'know since I stopped smoking I've really been at a loose end
I'd probably just log on to b3ta dot com forward slash talk and keep hitting refresh and then maybe have a little cry
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:23, archived)
but that's my day job :(

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:25, archived)

that's my d I'm a g
j kn
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)
you wish!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)
Oh here he goes again. Banging on about quitting. We've all been there mate.
We've heard it mate. No one cares.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:27, archived)
this sort of bullying makes me want to start again

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:33, archived)
You've given up weed?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
I'm afraid so :(

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)
I almost did for a couple of years due to abject poverty but am happy to be back at it
Keeps my drinking down as much as anything

Was it your illness that prompted this?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
I'm thinking of getting an analogue vape.
£50, no batteries, just hit it from a butane lighter. Good reviews supposedly very economical.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)
brand name?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
Dynavap.
I can't remember which one's which but it's the £50 one not the £150 one.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
yeah stupid bent lungs
I've managed to dodge any smoking related diseases but it's all over now
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
My mum gave up smoking and was dead within two weeks

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)
poor mum :(
I've survived about five months now, might see christmas at this rate
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)
Tbf she was only given a month to live 2 weeks before she quit smoking

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
if she knew her time was up, why quit?
She'd just spend her last weeks gagging for one more Marlboro light
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:07, archived)
couldn't breathe let alone smoke, her lungs were full up of cancer

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)
Get a vaporiser so you can still get mashed without smoking anything.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
can you recommend one?
I've been investigating cooking, but it looks a lot of hassle
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
we have one of these and the ahem... 'loose leaf and dry herb cartridge'
www.buyv2cigs.co.uk/vaporizers/

it doesn't feel the same but it works
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
I'm looking at the dynavap.
I've got a creecha electric one. It's mediocre.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)
don't be glum it's Yorkshire Day!

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
Warsaw Uprising Day m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)

don't be ee by
l
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
‘appen as not an maybe

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)
typical
when's hampshire day is what i'm asking
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
tweet richard herring

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
I'm PUDDING on my YORKSHIRE
accent to celebrate, ay up
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 12:13, archived)
morning

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:10, archived)
morning
Sasha on the stereo here.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)
dunno who that is
but my aunt had a Dulux dog called sasha, so I'll presume it's a paint advert.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)
Ok cool

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:35, archived)
yeah you do
youtu.be/D-aWvyhPTuQ
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:52, archived)
Dreamy

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:27, archived)
alright

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:35, archived)
too fucking hot, I can't cope

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:45, archived)
I'll trade
It's pissing it down here
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)
Highs of 21 here, shit summer

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:51, archived)
expecting 35 degrees here, in the concrete jungle, I'm toast

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:07, archived)
It surprises me Brits going carp fishing in poland never took off like in france

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:43, archived)
shit infrastructure, hostile locals, inpenetrable language barrier, lack of amenities
When you step out of the cities, countryside Poland is like a timewarp back to the 70s. A pound a pint doesn't compensate for glossy toilet paper.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:46, archived)
there were a few horror stories 10 odd years ago of people getting robbed on public lakes, but i'm surprised an enterprising farmer with a private lake aint nicking 800euros a week to let some nob bivvy up

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:48, archived)
it'll get there
loads of agrotourism popping up, but the lakes are still a 4-hour drive from Warsaw airport and there's no trains up that way, so getting there's a pain.

Here's the licencing info if you're interested. 2 quid a day.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:58, archived)
sounds like too much agro

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)
No night fishing will put people off

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:25, archived)
and why they are so anti attractants is odd, unless poles were dumping tonnes of stuff in at one point

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
possibly EU rules, it's all
Natura 2000 land round here
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:36, archived)
that's why you need a private lake, i assume these are
www.carpfishingpoland.com/carp-lakes-in-poland/
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)
look at that fat fuck, he's like Miss Piggy's dad

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:47, archived)
you could book a corporate day with him

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)
corpulent, more like

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)
At least we're not further north, they're getting a wet august

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:42, archived)
As a northener I fail to see how this differs from any other August
or any other month for that matter...
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:25, archived)
mornholes

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:47, archived)
following your advice, I gave up on MGS4
I want a game, not a walk-through movie
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:49, archived)
If you have a PC that can run it, Doom is really good
Barely any cutscenes, loads of shooty bang bang and a really cathartic combat system that encourages experimenting while abandoning all the realism that drags down modern shooters. The soundtrack is great as well
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:01, archived)
Yeah, I just finished it yesterday, had a blast.
Nice departure from modern cover based shooters. Nice to play a game where the cover is "just keep moving"
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:06, archived)
Yeah, I'm working through it now, having a great time and I usually don't like FPS games
It feels like the old Doom felt back in the 90s, which is surprising. Did you find any of the classic levels?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
Yeah, I found a few.
Considering a second play through on a harder difficulty
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)
I got the PS3 so I can have a quick blammo while the spawn's having a nap
if I boot up the PC I'll be playing massively involving RPGs or RTSs that suck out days at a time.

Tried Battefield 3 last night; 2gb "update" to download and then it couldn't find any EA servers :(
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:09, archived)
gt5 was on sale on the ps store

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)
^all of this
GTA 5 is great in single player and great online, both as a quick blast and a long gaming session. A lot of the big budget PS3 games are borderline movies, but if you browse the online store there's some great smaller titles there (Hotline Miami is a high recommendation if you haven't played it, great soundtrack and very fun / challenging gameplay)
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)
i just played snipperclips at work
all other gaming is moot
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:45, archived)
Yaaayyyy Snipperclips ^_^
I love co-op puzzle games like that, and the art style is charming
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:13, archived)
there were a couple of bits where it didn't feel immediately intuitive and i started to get a bit cheesed off
and each time, i figured it out seconds later. goty.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:23, archived)
There's a few games on the Switch now that are starting to make me lean towards it, as well as major releases the digital store has a ton of classic arcade games from SNK and the like
Its just a shame Nintendo have to make some utterly retarded decisions. Have you seen the stupid setup you have to have to use voice chat in Splatoon 2?
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)
They're releasing an anniversary edition of Night Trap soon I think.
Possibly the strangest creepiest games ever.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:04, archived)
+ the 90s epitomised

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)
I went to the Monday night bike thing again.
Never again. Then I went for a blast around and some bloke in his garden waved his fist angrily at me.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:47, archived)
I've got to go up the post office and find out what's going on with your front forks
bloke reckons he's posted them, but are they here? Are they bollocks.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:50, archived)
I dunno how it works in Poland,
But I had one of those where the bloke hadn't paid the postage and the note telling me to come pick it up and pay hadn't been delivered to me.
No rush on them though, I've got a set that's working alright for the MOT
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:55, archived)
I normally get a note saying it's ready for delivery
but my postie is a lazy cunt who never ever brings the packages, so I have to go to the post office a few times a week to pick up my shit so I'll inquire next time I'm there.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:08, archived)
No worries.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)
I fitted a Givi top box on Saturday
now the mo'bike has a boot!
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:15, archived)
Motorbikes are for riding not for shopping

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)
honk
metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/rtr32w5a.jpg
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:26, archived)
spot the new romantic goose

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:27, archived)
I thought spot was a dog m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:55, archived)
ffs

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)
Saves having to carry my lid with me
when I'm parked up. Also, doing a 600 mile round trip this weekend.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:40, archived)
I'm going to break open every givi top box I see and steal your lid

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:44, archived)
Worst euphemism ever.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:00, archived)
Actually, that woudl be a good excuse to buy a new one
that Shoe Multitec thing is okay, but my old Scuberth C3 was much better.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)
mornflake

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 7:59, archived)
Soggy

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:06, archived)
I don't have milk on my cereals

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)

cereals tripe and cabbage
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)
lolstereotypes

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:17, archived)
probably a bit racist as well, dunno, hopefully

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)
in the good old days we could have had a protracted debate about the relative merits of polish and french cuisine

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:13, archived)
French cuisine won't make your furniture sparkle.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:19, archived)
i dunno
snails leave that shiny trail on things
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)
Morning.
I'd got a load of paperwork from the life insurance people, last night, but I didn't understand any of it, so I sent it back.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:03, archived)
Lol your stupid paperwork

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:06, archived)
I'LL DO PAPERWORK WHEN I'M DEAD

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)
get your manservant to look it over

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)
Silly me for thinking that going through a broker would save me all this bother.
I'll just do it myself, in future.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:02, archived)
paperwork? pfft. it's all snapchat, etc now
get them to tweet it to you 140 characters at a time
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)
Oh what a beautiful Tuesday, oh what a beautiful day
I did some dancing like spider man,
Spiderman's made me all gay.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:05, archived)
spiderman is a sticky-fingered teen in a gimp suit
he's the wankiest of all the superheroes.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)
pinch punch first of the month
and no returns
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:45, archived)
oh shit son you went there

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:46, archived)
reporting this threat of violence to the mods

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:50, archived)
they won't do anything

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:55, archived)
if mongy or anyone else incurs any pinch OR punch related injuries, you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the internet law

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:07, archived)
no returns
it says right there
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)
and here
*points at crotch*
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:18, archived)
no it doesn't

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)
you can't edit $$'s crotch

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:04, archived)
i wouldn't want to, it's perfect

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)
ACTUALLY under the Sale of Goods act you HAVE to accept returns

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)
sold as seen m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)
not fit for purpose m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)
Private sale. Cash on collection.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:31, archived)
I've a done a return in the toilet

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
This is abuse of mod power and it needs to stop.
I'm going to tweet Rob
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)
I am confident that he will come straight here and sort this mess out

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)
come at me, bro

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
lol, anagram

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)
good morning

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)
and a good morning to you Mr McBeef

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:59, archived)
'sup richie

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:07, archived)
haha, we're all in morning. geddit.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)
Death at a Flebsite
someone here is Peter Dinklage's gay lover
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)
hahaha I think so

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:13, archived)
hahaha, i'm losing confidence in this whole thing haha ha

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)
The Mooch!
10 days in the roll before being fired.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:16, archived)
should never have employed a heroin dealer anyway
youtu.be/HOoZ6zo8HAQ
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)
getting bored of all this trump administration bollocks now

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:35, archived)
It's quite gratifying to see it all playing out as the shit-show that we all knew it would be.
There was a brief moment, post brexit referendum, when it looked like we British wouldn't be able to sneer at our American cousins - the US rose to the challenge, in our hour of need, as they are wont.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:41, archived)
if the press concentrate on the show trump puts on it means the actual function of the government can go on without being highlighted by the press, that is a worry

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)
Probably true.
Way to spoil the fun, mongy.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)
If you are bored, then that means that the US is probably ready to have a revolution.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)
it's prolly because I have so much mental domestic politics going on
that foreign stuff is just overload.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)
Morning
Gonna go tonto in the Chinese supermarket today. Lots of seafood and veggies. Might even get a crab.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)
I heard you already had crabs

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)
Lobsters m8

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:16, archived)
chinky clams open up sideways

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)

i.imgur.com/4PcG73x.jpg
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)
mcbeef is more attractive than I assumed.

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)
bullet bras and high waistlines do wonders for his figure

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 10:26, archived)
We have a winner!
Congratulations manolith!
b3ta.com/talk/8102172

6 weeks with no bin collection, by the way. I'm losing my mind.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 0:16, archived)
reduce reuse recycle

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 0:21, archived)
as you can see, whatever it was you were doing was far too intellectual for the lot of us
you gave manolith the mod bonus, I presume
(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 0:26, archived)
Blonde, brunette, redhead

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 0:32, archived)
great does this mean you can fuck off and stop all this now?

(, Tue 1 Aug 2017, 8:55, archived)

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