Top kek

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:43, archived)

hue hue

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:45, archived)

Alright

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:48, archived)

same

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:50, archived)

fuck officer dribble

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 20:49, archived)

dollars

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 20:54, archived)

alright TimChuma

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 20:59, archived)

Alright spamishmonobrow

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 21:00, archived)

Boss kek, for our American cousins.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 20:52, archived)

Fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Aug 2017, 21:10, archived)

morning

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:07, archived)

Ok, bookmarking this for tomorrow.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:08, archived)

You've got a nerve

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:09, archived)

i've got several

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:16, archived)

Oh right, so it's like that, is it?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:54, archived)

and that's the way it is

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:00, archived)

run-brucehornsb

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:37, archived)

wrong as usual

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:10, archived)

awk-on-trare

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:16, archived)

Pretty sure /talk runs on GMT, not MGT

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:35, archived)

things are strange when you live according to moon time

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:11, archived)

Faces are ugly when you're alone.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:41, archived)

Look ugly is the lyric

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:46, archived)

Yes, it is.
One day I'll learn to use gaz to get you to fact check before I post.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:01, archived)

I went out with a girl who was big into the doors, I even went to the london premier of the film, it was as shit as her obsession

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:20, archived)

he said "fact check",
not "fat chick"
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:33, archived)

Oh you

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:38, archived)

Fomgt

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:29, archived)

good day

( Turboesprit Volume knob, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:29, archived)

hip hip

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:46, archived)

Fairly certain this is a ' oh look at my candles post' bit sad, and certainly /talk doesn't give one fuck

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:48, archived)

thats exactly what it is
what a sad little attention seeking cunt i am
( Turboesprit Volume knob, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 20:08, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 18:55, archived)

you've used fucking twice there, sloppy work

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 22:45, archived)

oh look at your candles

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 19:00, archived)

^Upset

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:48, archived)

No need to start a new thread about it, m9-1.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:50, archived)

I wouldn't say that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:53, archived)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:50, archived)

cheers

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:53, archived)

cheers

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

Alright dribble

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:52, archived)

Does he still post?
Apparently I haven't logged off for quite some time
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:53, archived)

Ent seen a spanner post since he announced that he was in a same sex relationship

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:55, archived)

he died

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)

YES!!!!!!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:58, archived)

shame

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:03, archived)

how was france?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:54, archived)

Yeah, it was alright
Not my favourite place, but at least we've been.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)

that's a good attitude to have
"I endured France"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)

Walking along the river was nice
You almost forget that there's a busy city going on around you. Some nice parks too.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

City parks for tourists irk me a bit
Warsaw's got a fantastic park with a lake and an open air theatre and squirrels and a waterside restaurant, and it seems pointless to travel to one of Europe's largest cities just to pretend that you're not in a city. That park is where Varsovians go to escape Warsaw; why would you want to visit it on your weekend away? Go and see practically anything else.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:04, archived)

Not everyone shares your appreciation of grey concrete.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)

Typical.
You come to France the one week I'm not there.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:57, archived)

why do you think I planned it, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

That's it.
You're deffo off my Christmas card list now.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)

^some kid burnt his neck.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:13, archived)

Nice cardigan.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 12:58, archived)

Nice cardigan

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:00, archived)

^Roxette

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)

Hello, you fool

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:05, archived)

Bit strong

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)

Can I go back to bed?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)

Whose bed did you have in mind?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)

sure

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)

typical lvl 5 atheist response

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:24, archived)

I am an intellectual labyrinth
Care to get lost in me?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)

no
sounds like too much work
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:45, archived)

Spoiler: It's impossible to get lost in a labyrinth, as every direction leads to the same end
That end being my penus and/or helmit
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)

Care to scream in frustration at the endless dead ends in me?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:00, archived)

around every corner is an image of Bowie with socks stuffed down his pants

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)

Stay out of my dream journal, Two Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:12, archived)

media3.giphy.com/media/L9axNxZzC3SPC/giphy.gif
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:00, archived)

Well, that was hard to wank to
nevertheless
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)

Don't take life too seriously
Nobody gets out alive anyway
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)

I take it seriously, but I don't take it personally

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)

Come the singularity,
I'm going full Lawnmower Man.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 13:47, archived)

sounds like a plan

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 15:12, archived)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Shit in a bucket
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:28, archived)

Bisto's new jingle isn't quite as catchy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:34, archived)

Fuck, this day is slow

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)

unsurprisingly, 8 minutes before home time
I've received two emails and a Hangout chat requesting my attention
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:53, archived)

Personally I'm hungover as a bastard after caning it last night and staying up till 02:30 rewatching The Avengers.
Don't know what anyone else's excuse is.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:54, archived)

Not
This Avengers?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 14:58, archived)

Nah, the one with Nick Fury in it.
Apparently officially called "Avengers Assemble", but that sounds far too Transformer-y.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 15:02, archived)

Thats good fun that one

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 15:06, archived)

It is, and I was looking for a cheerful bit of mindless entertainment so it fit the bill perfectly.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 15:11, archived)

completely worth it just for the Hulk/Loki scene

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 15:51, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 7:30, archived)

Hiyas

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 7:42, archived)

wotcha

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 7:43, archived)

alright grrr

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 7:42, archived)

alright mongy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 7:43, archived)

Morgings

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:07, archived)

alright hotfuck

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:09, archived)

How do Grrrboels?

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

been better
u?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

Just my usual chipper self

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)

?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:57, archived)

No real pics plz

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)

hey, gentiles

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:14, archived)

alright dollars

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:18, archived)

printf("mor, ning\n");

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:20, archived)

dunno what this means soz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaas.
Fleek.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

alright yeti

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

Yes.
Yes, it is.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

arlight mm

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

MFW
I'm reminded of that terrible film.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:42, archived)

dunno what you mean
I don't recognise that pic either
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:48, archived)

It's "Arclight" from the cinematic abortion that was X-Men 3.
One letter away from "arlight", innit?

Fun fact: having spent a week with a bunch of Luton kids, my offspring are now peppering their speech with "innit" (with no trace of irony).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:52, archived)

ah, was that the one with the Egyptian king rising again?
the one that was eerily reminiscent of Guardians of the Galaxy?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)

No.
The crappy one directed by Brett Ratner.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)

the mistake you're making
is thinking that any superhero movie is any good. They're all just by-the-book good-defeats-evil bollocks filled with fist fights, explosions and the sort of quips you come up with three days after the opportunity arose, with a few pert arses stuffed into PVC or leather and a mass-marketable soundtrack of golden oldies to boost merchandise sales. They're crap stories shitly told, which is fine because they're not meant to be fantastic tales; they're superficial orgies of colour and light designed to sell popcorn and action figures, and they do that very well.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:29, archived)

Yeah, I don't ask much else of my cinema going.
Watched the new spider-man, on Friday - it was brilliant.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:36, archived)

alright Roger Ebert

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:40, archived)

Grrry,
yesterday.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:43, archived)

Yeah, but he's the wall

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)

Hey! Grrry,
leave those kids alone!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)

that likeness is uncanny

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)

It's an arduino controlled meat grinder, built into a Lego model of a school.
Pink Floyd were truly prescient.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)

alarmingly accurate

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

I also hope that one day my hairline recedes and leaves me with a single tuft of hair at the front, like that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

That's him watching the film

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)

I'm glad he's now got a less stupid haircut

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)

Thanks to the idiots on this site, I'm gradually absorbing the stupid acronyms that crop up on the likes of reddit and mumsnet.
I'm not especially happy about it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)

^ kek'd.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)

I'm all about the worship of primordial darkness, it's true.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)

IBYA

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)

AIBU when I call you a dopey cunt?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)

Is this something about a robot dog?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:16, archived)

Bingo.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:26, archived)

alright piggo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:33, archived)

False call , eyes down

( mongychops, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:37, archived)

I worked with a bloke who was only about 30 that fucking loved his bingo.
London lad, said it was really popular. I thought he was weird.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Aug 2017, 8:59, archived)

Did he also love shagging grannies?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)

he's squizgar squigelf?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)

I was thinking more of Ralph Fiennes' character in The Grand Budapest Hotel
but whatevs, maaan.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:25, archived)

I don't think he was acting

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:45, archived)

It's method acting. He moved in with a granny and shagged her every morning before filming to get into character.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)

good morning

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:11, archived)

alright Deux Chapeaux

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)

zut alors, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:23, archived)

merry morningness, Grrrmachine and friends

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:18, archived)

alright woodo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)

Poop poop!
Salutations!
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)

my stool was more watery than I'd have liked, this morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)

You can swap it for my butt explosion caused by eating a Pizza Hut delivery last night

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)

Listening to music on my new bone conduction headphones this morning.
Lol bone.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:13, archived)

They any good?
I wanted some of those for cycling, since I think in-ear 'phones when you're on the road is one of the most idiotic things a cyclist can wear.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)

Strap a boombox to your handlebars.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

They're not bad, yeah.
The bass response is a bit weedy but the sound is crisper than I was expecting. They're completely waterproof as well, so I can listen to my favourite tracks in the pissing rain. Fully agree with you about wearing in-ear headphones while cycling being the prerogative of suicidal plonkers.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:23, archived)

My soundmagics have some attachements with grooves cut in them for cycling and running.
Not used them though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)

This man's t-shirt is amusing me
i.imgur.com/lVPM9Ng.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)

Nice cardigan

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)

Nice cardigan.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)

Just want to stop by and say I hope you all had a lovely weekend.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 6 Aug 2017, 20:48, archived)

You are the consummate gentleman.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 21:07, archived)

xxx

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 21:43, archived)

Fuck off back to mumsnet.
I have been CELEBRATING A-Bomb Day!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 6 Aug 2017, 22:14, archived)

I've managed 4 wanks today.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 23:24, archived)

Slacker.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 6 Aug 2017, 23:28, archived)

I was quite hungover

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 23:30, archived)

haha. not really!
it was pretty fucking shit lol!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Aug 2017, 0:46, archived)

morning!
here is a short anecdote. Sometimes, even with my best efforts, things get a bit jumbled up in my head. Anyway to cut a long story short, thank goodness for google, and it turns out that martin amis didn't actually write the scripts for press gang! sorry martin!!! hashtag embarrassed!
( vladimir, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)

Hi Vlado,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:23, archived)

greetings, Piglet of Gusts

( vladimir, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

you wait 17 hours and 16 minutes for a new thread
and two come along at once!
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)

TYPICAL
IT WILL BE WORSE AFTER BREXIT
( vladimir, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

will all our eu-based forum members be deported?
we can't afford to lose anyone else or we'll end up like /ot D:
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 12:37, archived)

Afternoon

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)

I'm pleased to report no significant security delays at charles de gaulle
Although they are way stricter than gatwick
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 13:37, archived)

And I wasn't anywhere near eiffel tower last night
Thanks for the concern
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)

but what about tangles, eh?

( $$ ✅, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:43, archived)

Died :(

( mongychops, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)

Alright vlad.
I accidentally got twatted last night at a funk and soul night in a squash club.

Woke up to the on-call phone ringing. Had drymouth must've sounded like death. Sorted the problem but it didn't half give me the fear.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:51, archived)

Well I clearly replied to the wrong thread like a fucking wally didn't I?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:52, archived)

Looks that way

( mongychops, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:52, archived)

I can't be arsed moving it. It can stay.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:54, archived)

I've a vague recollection of trying to drunkenly chat someone up and her asking me how old I was.
Which leads me to believe I was not just pissed enough to be trying to chat birds up, I was pissed up enough to be chatting old birds up.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:14, archived)

old very young
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 20:20, archived)

It was him what done it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:56, archived)

what a wanker

( $$ ✅, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:00, archived)

Martin Amis did, however, write the wholeheartedly mediocre 'London Fields'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:01, archived)

Bullshit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)

He really did and all.
I ain't making it up or nuffink.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)

That's been hovering around the middle section of my 'to read' list.
Something always takes priority though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)

Yeah, it'd probably make a fair distraction if you were on holiday without your phone or something.
I read a Dick Francis novel under said circumstances. London Fields isn't actively awful or anything in the way that makes you angry with it for making you waste valuable time reading it, but Amis did take a reasonably original premise and didn't really do anything at all with it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)

I just read For Whom the Bell Tolls.
Took me months as it wasn't gripping me at all. I hate abandoning books so usually just grind to a halt.

It was a recommendation as I enjoyed Homage to Catalonia.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:06, archived)

I've not read either of those.
Makes me want to read Down and Out in Paris and London again though. That was a good yarn.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:15, archived)

Good book that.
Homage is worth a read; I've got The Road to Wigan Pier sitting around as well, but decided to go for Wells's Time Machine before it.

Mental how Orwell's stuff is great, but massively eclipsed by 1984 and animal farm.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:20, archived)

Blimey, it must be 30 years since I read Time Machine.
Good read as well though. I can see I'm going to have to track down Homage now.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:23, archived)

I reckon I'm going to re-read Snow Crash or The Diamond Age soon.
That'll be about 15 years. So prescient though. Even predicted weebs.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)

The diamond age is one of the worst I've ever read

( mongychops, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 17:26, archived)

I enjoyed that a lot.
Can see why people wouldn't though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 19:17, archived)

P.S abebooks.com is usually much cheaper than Amazon for used books.
Lot of excess library stock and that I think.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 17:06, archived)

Sounds good.
I'm currently most of the way through a P. D. James trilogy I picked up from the local Oxfam.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 17:09, archived)

Alright vlad

( mongychops, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)

vlado

( $$ ✅, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 14:43, archived)

sunday thread

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)

queasy like sunday etc etc
alright mano!
( vladimir, Sun 6 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 8:19, archived)

Alright.
Went to that brewdog club that used to be snafu for the first time last night.

It was alright but I'm not sure about a club based on the premise of selling overly strong and hoppy beer. Some pissed mess who sort of demanded I dance with her made me taste her white wine and that was absolutely disgusting. Worst I've ever tasted tbh.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:21, archived)

Is that the top end of union street?
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)

Yeah. By tilted wig/opposite Archie's.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)

What was the music like?
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)

Funk and soul night. Nearly everyone was about 20 years older than me.
Good though. Continues today at some leisure centre off of great western place.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:41, archived)

I bet it was no semi sweet georgian wine m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)

Lol semi

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)

We're getting a brew dog place down the Cowley road.
They're about 2 years late as we already have 3 or 4 pubs down there that stock decent beer and a good range of craft stuff, so it seems odd.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)

There's heaps here now.
Loads of pubs with granite exteriors with faux brickwork on the inside.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:42, archived)

I've yet to find a brew dog beer I like

( $$ ✅, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:40, archived)

Punk IPA is the best probably but it's all overly hoppy.
They're nothing special. It's all marketing guff; punk marketing but essentially another brewery with shareholders and an AGM.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:43, archived)

I like the Elvis Juice one

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)

I quite like dead pony club for a nice light option if it's still morning or if you're driving

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 13:33, archived)

The white wine this lass made me sip still had the generic overly hoppy taste all their brews have.
It was bogging.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 13:49, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:25, archived)

What's that about then?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:28, archived)

It's about you being a fucking spaz, no offence

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)

Alright mate.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)

Alright le cochon rouge

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)

What brought you back and why are you still a complete prick?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:35, archived)

I will always be a complete prick, it is written in the stars.
What's your excuse?
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)

I was born this way.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)

Transgender eh? Me too.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:53, archived)

Can I borrow a morning?

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)

Feel free m'8
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

Kirk Van Houten's lesser known b-sidezzz

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)

twitter.com/robmanuel/status/892777956099190785
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 10:12, archived)

Tipped the pizza delivery guy 50p. That's lunch sorted.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 10:15, archived)

Alright you sticky bumgays.
It's a lovely morning. How's it with you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 5 Aug 2017, 8:13, archived)

it's ballroom blitz here m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 8:50, archived)

I'm drinking some semi sweet Georgian white wine my brother in law gave me
It's fucking horrible and I regret every mouthful but I keep refilling my glass.

How do you punish yourself?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 20:56, archived)

By masturbating to hucow pornography.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 21:25, archived)

By spending time with working class people.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 21:32, archived)

By slumming it with people whose salary begins with a 2.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 21:33, archived)

Ha, yeah, those sad fucks on less than 300k. LOSERS!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 22:22, archived)

Nobody earns that much m8!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 22:41, archived)

That's just crazy!!!!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 22:41, archived)

I had a job that paid 40k once.
I packed it in when I decided I'd rather be paid in money than Space Marines.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 23:03, archived)

 
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 23:29, archived)

Can anyone else smell B.O.?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 23:40, archived)

I dunno. I just throw shit stuff out.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 21:53, archived)

That or drink it when I'm already cunted and out of booze.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 22:07, archived)

Just watching some of Belladrum on BBC alba. Chrissy Hind looks like an Alice Cooper that's let himself go.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 22:45, archived)

By not using a condom

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 23:36, archived)

lol, "semi"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 5 Aug 2017, 7:20, archived)

4/7 for me, who gives a shit about prince phillip, right?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-40819577
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)

2

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:14, archived)

I got that one right, so apparently me
Marvin the Paranoid Android Your score: 3/7
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)

I GOT 7/7 BITCHES.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)

nerd

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:32, archived)

that's just one whole bitch

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)

3 for me
sub-par
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:19, archived)

WANK

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:26, archived)

you can say that again.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:47, archived)

I'd rather not, it was pretty rude!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)

I’m writing possibly the most pointless document I have ever seen. 90% of it is superfluous boilerplate nonsense.
Basically, given how we’re all on scant amounts of borrowed time, I consider being made do this is a very subtle form of murder.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:05, archived)

just top yourself now and save time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:10, archived)

I'm not suicidal but if I have to keep doing this for the next 40ish years I do question what the fucking point of staying alive is really.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)

1 up the bum

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/A_few_years_ago_I_posted_a_poster_of_the_top_3_posts_from_each_of_the_then_200_QOTWs_posted_so_far
( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:10, archived)

Yes, my membership of this forum is something I'd certainly want advertise to visitors.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:16, archived)

In the future we might get digital headstones.
You could have all your posts slowly cycle through. There's a thought.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:24, archived)

Can't I just have "^upset" engraved in granite?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:37, archived)

yeah why not

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)

Thanks, Gormo!
I'll be sure to leave you something in the will.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)

4
I do hope that you're logging all of these scores.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)

1/7 fackin hell
and that one was a complete guess
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:15, archived)

i just learned why being in prison is doing bird, i'm surprised i'd never heard why before

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

it had better be related to custard or so help me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)

no soz

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:31, archived)

Because of Robert Stroud?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)

birdlime= time, bird lime is a sticky substance used to trap small birds

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:40, archived)

lime 's custard
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)

Having checked, I'm slightly taken aback that this practice wasn't something that Roald Dahl made up.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:41, archived)

I thought everybody's heard about the bird

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:37, archived)

The lead singer of the Style Council hadn't

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 13:39, archived)

Fuck's sake rhyl.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4760750/Shoppers-three-hours-early-opening-new-Poundworld.html
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)

Kyle Davies wrote: 'Omg I've been dreaming of a Poundworld.'
Ahh Icarus, fly not so closely to the sun!
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)

I wonder if news like this will appear in history text books of the future
as impending signs of the complete collapse of civilisation as we know it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)

"A hand still clutching £1 worth of bounty kitchen roll was discovered on the nearby driving range".

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)

the comments aren't great either

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:14, archived)

I just showed it to someone and they said 'christ it's like when mcdonalds opened in the soviet union'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:18, archived)

there's a few "Don't they have jobs" comments
but when you look at the photos they are mainly pensioners
( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:20, archived)

they knocked down the First McDonald's in Poland a few months back
I celebrated getting my mortgage in there :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:27, archived)

In Iceland there's a commemorative big mac in a glass case from when theirs shut down.
It doesn't seem to have decayed.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:29, archived)

When the final seed falls from the bun,
the Prince of Iceland shall be freed from his curse.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:35, archived)

hahaha

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:37, archived)

*updates lyrics to Common People*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)

lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)

She came from Rhyl, she had a thirst for bargains
cheap toilet paper, Chinese fake Doc Martens,
Pukka pies, caught her eyes.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:23, archived)

No, Grrry.
She's a posh girl, and he has to woo her by taking her to the poundshop.

Points for effort, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 14:25, archived)

I reckon that pokemon subthread killed the board
Do you play games? Board games? Mobile games? Consoles? Sports?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:21, archived)

Board games seem to have had a resurgence among my crowd.
I can't stand them. I do enjoy the odd card games like Munchkin and such.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:27, archived)

fancy a game of shithead?

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:27, archived)

Yeah, ok.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)

2s wild?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:35, archived)

2s wild, 4 reverses play, 7 see through, 8 is play below, 10 rolls the deck.
Am I forgetting anything.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:43, archived)

one of the queens makes you pick up the pile, doesn't it?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)

I think so yeah.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)

I'm quite partial to a game of Bastard Brag.
It's basically just laid-back poker for people who think poker is usually ruined by people taking it far too seriously.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)

I thought you had to take poker mega seriously otherwise there's no fucking point to it
it's just "what have you got? oh, my cards are better here are my chips deal the next hand" ad infinitum.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)

Yeah, I agree, poker is pointless without some money involved.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:45, archived)

I like to play poker for pennies,
with everyone drinking and not taking the game remotely seriously.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)

Bastard brag is better for this.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)

Never heard of it, tbh.
Either way, drinking and socialising are the primary concerns, I suppose.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)

I think it has other names.
Deal three center cards (two face up) and three cards to each player.

Take it in turns to swap one or all 3 cards with the central ones. Play continues until one player 'knocks', meaning that they are happy with their hand. All the remaining players then exchange one last time before hands are compared. The player with the lowest hand is out, or loses a life.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:03, archived)

It's just not very fun.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)

the game of life m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)

PURCHASE ONE BANANA
PAY $10
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:42, archived)

i have a room full of old consoles that i still use
master system, nintendo, binatone tv master mark iv etc.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:44, archived)

I miss the master system.
When my brother moved out, he got that and I got the snes. Sometimes I regret that.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)

snes was better, you bloody idiot

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

Yeah, but I've got the snes so I don't miss it do I, you stupid goon.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)

you made the right choice though, what you're really saying is that you'd like to have had both consoles and told your brother to do one

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)

He's a bit of a knob.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)

you fucking nerd

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

I have a gamecube
Which I keep for playing ocarina of time and mariokart double dash
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

I saw a bloke in an Amiga t-shirt yesterday
it made me nostalgic for the old games, but I don't want to revisit them and have my memories crushed at how primitive and clunky those games actually were
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

i think the 2d games from the 16 bit era hold up well
but some of the early playstation games are just a blurred mess
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)

I skipped that generation of consoles
Tried to play the PS version of Gauntlet on an emulator it was just a primary-coloured mess of polygons, no clue what the fuck was going on.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)

It's interesting how much better nintendo games have held up compared to the megadrive stuff, despite the latter being more aimed at adults.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:10, archived)

Atari, Megadrive, Snes, 2* N64, Gamecube, Wii

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)

Solitaire
And monopoly when the kids are staying
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:45, archived)

this sounds like you live in an impoverished inner city slum terrace

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)

tennis, football and fighting

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:50, archived)

+ off allegations of homosexuality

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)

No I'm a grown up

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)

bollocks are you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)

we're all going on a summer holiday no more working for a week or two

so sang Cliff Richard back in 1963, but what I want to know is who is the hardest person here?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)

Patricia Routledge

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)

I hope my face swap on /board gets FP'd

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)

Have you sucked up to happy toast enough?

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)

no, I've been a bit busy

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)

i'll never understand why they made him a mod

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:13, archived)

Something to do with dog bumholes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)

I reckon it's probably Monster Munch.
Because he's so gay even the mention of Cliff sends his tiny penis in to a state of rock hard readiness.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

wired for sound makes him ejaculate

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)

that song is basically Cliff promoting teen sex tourism

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)

i ordered that soyuz rocket thing, went for the nose cone one

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:21, archived)

nice

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:28, archived)

wait and see if it turns up, probably a scam

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)

I could take you all

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 11:48, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 6:59, archived)

Morning mate.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:07, archived)

word

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:29, archived)

These parts are supposed to arrive today that I have a dispute over.
So he seems to have stumped up for quick shipping as the original quote was 2 weeks on the slow boat and now they're here within 72 hours of me making a fuss.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:41, archived)

nice one
fuck knows how long those front forks will take though, it was a pretty monstrous package.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:44, archived)

Yeah, I'm not in a hurry really.
Decided to sell the running one with a dodgy MOT and spend the time and decent bits building the other one properly and get something decent to ride for the winter.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)

I thought you'd decided these bikes were too slow to keep

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:50, archived)

Yeah, but I'll enjoy building it up back to stock.
You're a tinkerer, it's half the fun.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:00, archived)

I know exactly what you mean
my wallet has second thoughts about those sorts of things now though
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:02, archived)

Ha, kids

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:02, archived)

Just paid 35 quid for a single sensor for the jag
When it fails it thinks its minus 38 degrees outside, so won't activate the aircon :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:00, archived)

:(
My volvo has a misfire and stalls out a little if I don't wait for the pump to pick up. If I start it a couple of times the battery runs low and then every sensor going throws an absolute shit fit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)

Sensors going and fucking shit up seems to be a thing on swedish motors.
My saab threw the check engine light when it was cold. But if you started it and stopped it, it usually cleared.

Think it might have been the MAF one. That was fucked on my rover as well but Rover predicted stuff breaking for once and it was clever enough to use a stored 'best guess' curve.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)

That MAF thing might not have been the sensor
If the MAF was the hot-wire type, then corrosion or crud on the wire would prevent it warming up to the right heat quickly enough in the morning. That and dirty O2 sensors are the biggest causes of limp-home bullshit.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:42, archived)

Alright

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:22, archived)

not really

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:29, archived)

^ upset

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:39, archived)

my step-dad's dying of cancer
found out last night
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:44, archived)

Mate.
Sorry to hear that.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:05, archived)

cheers
he's the sort of bloke who would appreciate someone getting utterly munted in his honour, so feel free to get hammered.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:27, archived)

I will start now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:27, archived)

That is pretty shit Grry, sorry to hear that.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:09, archived)

no worries

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

[appropriately sympathetic response]

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:28, archived)

*manly nod*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

Love

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:51, archived)

urgh gay

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:52, archived)

Nevertheless

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:54, archived)

He's caught french

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:58, archived)

Used one of those self cleaning toilets
Someone had shat right on the floor. Fucking dirty cunts, the French
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)

Hey ho higgles

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:56, archived)

I like the way you jiggles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:02, archived)

disappointed the England muffers, muffed it

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 7:59, archived)

who doesn't like a good muffing?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:02, archived)

As long as they had fun playing, that's the important thing.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

*toot*

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)

we need some sort of toot-parp-guff scale here
I'm in over my head
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)

GUFF ON HEAD

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:14, archived)

last day

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)

Have you written your will and a suicide note?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:13, archived)

no will, why should I make their lives easy when they've made mine so hard?
I've named a few people from here to blame in my note though
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:16, archived)

Can I get an honourable mention?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:19, archived)

Thx

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

an hero

( $$ ✅, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)

Alright psychochomp, nice to have you back

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:56, archived)

archiving this harassment

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:06, archived)

REPENT, YE SINNERS, FOR THE HOUR OF JUDGEMENT IS UPON US

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:33, archived)

Hi

( mongychops, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)

sup

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 8:59, archived)

new thread please

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 4 Aug 2017, 9:45, archived)

I've had tacos and beer, and now I feel sleepy.
Zzzzzzzzzz
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:02, archived)

I've never had a taco I've enjoyed

( mongychops, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:07, archived)

^ closet bum-boy

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:31, archived)

Your nan's fish taco is legendary.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:42, archived)

Is taco a new word you kids use for fanny?

( mongychops, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:52, archived)

I believe it's a colonial term.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:55, archived)

but have you met a nice south african?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:47, archived)

Never, all horrible cunts, drunk with them, worked with them, friends with some, all horrible

( mongychops, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 20:49, archived)

Shit, I missed brown wrinkly old man chat

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 22:39, archived)

Ama

( mongychops, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 22:45, archived)

Faux leopardskin underpants y/n

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 3 Aug 2017, 23:04, archived)