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BOING!
BOING BOING BOING DOING BOING GOING BOING etc
(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 2:04, archived)
Shush

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 2:09, archived)
No.
U
(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 4:13, archived)
More like thump thump thump thump thump thump thump bark bark bark

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 11:44, archived)
disgusting

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
Drinking the glass of wine I poured last night and didn't drink while listening to the Lemonheads.
Everything's coming up slippery mick.
(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:02, archived)
Watch out for seepage

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:31, archived)
Back from the gym now.
Might make a spot of lunch.
(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)

B M
(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
oops, wrong Dave

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
So was supposed to be going to a family party tonight
but the wifes not feeling up to it.
Are you going out tonight?
There's fuck all on telly.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 18:51, archived)
I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 19:20, archived)
Just got home from the epic France v. Ireland match.
GET IN!
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 20:07, archived)
I'm trying to put the spawn to bed
while we're both hacking our lungs out, and the wife has fucked off for a pint.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 20:09, archived)
No
Watching the stand and getting pissed
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 21:00, archived)
Shoeing 747

(, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 1:26, archived)
Hullo bender's

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:29, archived)
Alright Rich.
Had Psychedelic Soul on earlier to mark the passing of Dennis Edwards.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:38, archived)
I suspect you won't approve of this:
www.theregister.co.uk/2018/02/02/morrisons_pizza_competition/
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:42, archived)
Eww

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:49, archived)
that looks like a heart attack on a plate

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:55, archived)
Gonna run through a load of funk 45s once I get back from dropping kiddo home...via the shoe man
I made some great bread this morning and I've spatchcocked a chicken and have it marinating ready for tandoori Sunday, and I fed my mums scratchmade tortelloni for lunch so I've earnt a fucking smashup I reckon
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:48, archived)
i am envious of your saturday night

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 17:00, archived)
Sounds nice.
I've got in the habit of making something that takes a while on Sundays. Did a beef bourguignon the other week that got about 6 decent sized portions.

Going to do Bigos tomorrow I think.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 17:16, archived)
hello beefster

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:42, archived)
Sup

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:48, archived)
not much
the lodger is gradually moving her stuff out of my place, which is nice.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:51, archived)
Out of order, m8
Out. Of. Order.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:45, archived)
Try cubicle 2 instead m8

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:49, archived)

                                                                                                                                                                



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░██

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:15, archived)
Delete this pls.

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:33, archived)
No

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:42, archived)
Beware the ides of March.

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:44, archived)
Is this your way of letting us know that your cat's breath smells of cat food?

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:57, archived)
UPSET ^

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 15:04, archived)
I cannot read the last word

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 15:11, archived)
tinkles or twinkies, i think

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 15:47, archived)
Tinkles, yes.
You all smell of piss.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:07, archived)
but i washed!

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:08, archived)

░░▒▒█████████████████
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 15:55, archived)
pedo

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:02, archived)
Everyone having a lie in this morning?

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:22, archived)
Yeh.
Got up at half ten, fed the cats, went to the post office and am now attacking brekkie. How you doin'?
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
Slightly ropey
But black coffee, fruit juice and a steak sandwich sorted it. Just debating whether to watch scooby doo or do some actual housework
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
Watch Scooby Doo all morning.
Then you can say that you would have done the housework if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 11:04, archived)
I will watch aloha scooby doo
And put a wash on during the break.
(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
Oh well, time for housework

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 13:02, archived)
Eveninh

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 23:01, archived)
alright ssg

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 23:31, archived)
Alright

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 0:11, archived)
Alright

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 0:55, archived)
alright m

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 1:20, archived)
Dearest b

(, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 1:56, archived)
So this is a Friday night then, is it?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 18:59, archived)
I'm still at work and have no evening plans so I guess it must be

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:01, archived)
avoiding the family?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:04, archived)
No, I quite like my family

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:16, archived)
Bent for robert Lindsey

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:24, archived)
Ooh, Foxy!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:37, archived)
Tooting as I type

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:59, archived)
Yer BOI, base for your face

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:26, archived)
I'm on the gin
So i'd say yes.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:33, archived)
Took the boy to youth club, dropped the twins at camp.
Grabbing a quick soup before heading out to pick up the boy.
Party hard!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:38, archived)
these poo euphemisms are getting more elaborate

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 20:43, archived)
Poophemisms, more like

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 21:17, archived)
Think I must have unpooed, at some point.
How's that for sphincter control?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 21:24, archived)
I'm looking at a Volvo tomorrow.
car chat.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 22:27, archived)
It's as close as we're going to get to one this week.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 22:41, archived)
I'm 12 years old and what is this?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:30, archived)
my pelmit

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:33, archived)
clean it

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:36, archived)
YOU clean it

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:50, archived)
Simon Robinson at number 18 has died.
Just seen them roll him in to a private ambulance.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:35, archived)
dark

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:36, archived)
Also. My last Job ticket of the day was to get a blackbird out of a chimney.
Little bugger was terrified.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:37, archived)
Was she fit ?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:38, archived)
We had that already

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:42, archived)
gutted

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)
He's obviously not a clever bird

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:43, archived)
23 more and you could have had yourself a pie.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:44, archived)
that was me ma8e

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:22, archived)
So has one of my fish

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:28, archived)
Sadtimes :(

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:35, archived)
It's a giftwrapped boxset of Rastamouse, happy birthday

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:39, archived)
thank you

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:39, archived)
MY FUCKEN PENUS

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:39, archived)
reporting this

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)

this + *THIS*
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:53, archived)
it's a big smelly poo in a box lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:42, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:44, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:50, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:24, archived)
Look, more tie fighters!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:35, archived)

ook uke
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:54, archived)
A dreadful mistake.
I'm so sorry.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:45, archived)
no problem

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:47, archived)
It's years of feeling inferior before burning your bra at 18

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:46, archived)
my body my rules

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:47, archived)
Crackerjack!!!!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:49, archived)
Ooooh i could crush a grape

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:49, archived)
Personally I could test drive a Tonka, but each to his own

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:51, archived)
I, on the other hand, could wrestle an action man

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:54, archived)
I could jump over a doll's house , if I wanted

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:55, archived)
interesting
What would you say if I told you I could rip a tissue?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:58, archived)

tissue? bumhole wide open?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:04, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8147715
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:45, archived)
That's numberwang

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:18, archived)
I'm proper fucked now , might be time to go home or get an ambulance

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 18:59, archived)
Alright, enough about that old shit
Want to talk about the weekend? I bet you fucking do, you shit box. What about next week? And the week after? Jesus, you make me fucking sick.
Still, nearly christmas. Might fist a cow.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)
Calm down, dear.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:34, archived)
I'm fucking apoplectic

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
Your apology is accepted

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:12, archived)
^mine

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:42, archived)
^mine

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:34, archived)
wanna go fisting next weekend?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:36, archived)
It's Fist Fest 2018 in Frome

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
Awww I misread that, forever alone in my bivvy

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
do they make bivvys for two?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
Yes, or you can get a 2 man overwrap for a single bivvy

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
sounds a bit gay

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:42, archived)
u in?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
all the way

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:45, archived)
It can be difficult with such a large erection to find somewhere to put it

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
I'm sure you've squeezed yours into some tight spots

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
EVERY weekend, m8

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
there's cake in the fridge but we're all too sick to eat it

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
That's rough
We were all like that over christmas. So much food and drink around, and we wanted none of it. Get well soon, you fucking stupid fucking cunt.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
cheers you ugly bent gay spaz

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
rude

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
why would you keep it in the fridge?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
Ice cream cake?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
then I'm glad they're all unwell

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)
You've had enough

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
I'll tell you when I've had enough

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
You'll get tummy ache , again

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
I'm not tired, YOU ARE

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
cos it's got all cream and shit in it, innit
Where do you keep your cakes? In some stupid bent pantry like an idiot?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:51, archived)
I keep my croissants in a bent pantry

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
you must be well gutted

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
Bovine Penetration, that's what you need

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
saw them play Fist Fest 2012

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
don't you dare tarnish Roy Castle's great name

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
If you wanna be a HYMEN BREAKERRRR!
Do cows have hymens? Dunno.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
elephants do

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
don't ask me how I know though! lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
haha don't worry I won't

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
uh-oh!!!!!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:17, archived)
Cows probably do too, I guess
I have to admit, I'd not really given it much though before now
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
actually I have some great plans for next week, but I need to hold some stuff back for Monday's thread

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
good idea
you don't want to give everything away like some cheap skank
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
exactly
I see myself more as a high class whore
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:45, archived)
Ah, now that makes sense

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
although if no one asks about it then I'll have to start a thread pretending to be interested in what other people are doing just so I can talk about my own plans

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:47, archived)
Do people really *do* that?
Man, is that ever self-centered. *cough*
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
I do the same when people at work ask me if I had a good weekend

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:51, archived)
I always answer "yeah, pretty good, ta"
but there's a woman in our office who goes into explicit detail about every single event of her weekend. It's fucking painful. She doesn't converse with people; she waits for the other person to stop, so she can carry on talking.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
Funny story
At our christmas party one year, someone bought her a vibrator for her secret santa. She hit the fucking roof. She was demanding to know who bought it, was going to report them to the VP, everything. It was ugly. No idea if anyone ever fessed up. They certainly didn't at the christmas do.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
it was me

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
where did you buy it?
I'm asking for a friend
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
place on Upper Arundel St

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:04, archived)
oh fuck
I know the place
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:06, archived)
I've bought someone deodorant one year

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:58, archived)
Ha, nice
I saw a product in Pets At Home called 'bitch spray' that I thought would make a good secret santa gift. Then I remembered the vibrator incident, and decided against it.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
Friend of mine got a can of lynx, baked beans, Stella, and a copy of Nuts, one year.
I don't think anyone was particularly upset.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
My intentions were clear
the guy stunk
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:11, archived)
I knew a lad who used air freshener as deodorant.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:13, archived)
Wow
Why?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:31, archived)
Not entirely sure.
This was back in school, and he was generally quite smelly (in winter, his parents would make up for the lack of sweat by drying his laundry by an open fire). I get the feeling that there just wasn't any in the family home, as he only took to spraying himself with airwick after we moaned at him to do something about his bo.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:40, archived)
oh man
that's actually quite sad
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:44, archived)
My ex just got back from a week school trip, one lad had only one pair of socks and pants, all he owned , this is primary school, she tells me stuff and it makes me :(

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:48, archived)
A mate of mine is a site foreman and had to write up one guy for not coming in one day.
The bloke's excuse was that he'd washed his pair of trousers and it wasn't dry yet. He didn't have another pair.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:50, archived)
If he's working he can buy trousers, probably hung over more like

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:52, archived)
^
Different friend of mine never seemed to change out of his school uniform, I never twigged why until much later.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:09, archived)
You were mates with Angus Young?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:35, archived)
and they say that kids aren't living in poverty...

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:12, archived)
The school pays for many of the kids to go on the trips, and the teachers buy them stuff out of their own pocket, they went to Dorset, they'd never seen the sea or countryside some of them

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:20, archived)
Some of the kids my missus teaches have never been to the seaside
Imagine that
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:25, archived)
You live at the seaside, how the fuck have they managed that

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:26, archived)
Good question

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:36, archived)
She's been pulling your leg, m8?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:42, archived)
that must be it

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:45, archived)
or really thick children who don't understand what the sea is

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:47, archived)
also possible

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:49, archived)
what is the sea really tho?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:50, archived)
the combination of all of the world's oceans

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:52, archived)
Even Billy?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:53, archived)
ESPECIALLY Billy

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:54, archived)
It's how he got his Caribbean Queen

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:55, archived)
Is her name Lauren? The fat fucking bitch, she'll be sending herself flowers again soon , nobody believes you've got a fella on the oil rigs Lauren you fat bearded cunt

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
No, she's not called Lauren
but she does have a darling son and a useless husband.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)
it angers me

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
Thing is, you can't just walk away, can you?
You have to be polite, it's just easier.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
there was a brainwrong i knew who was bad for oversharing
especially really personal stuff that nobody wanted to hear. i used to sing the armor hot dog song at the top of my voice to shut her up.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:56, archived)
There was one woman at my old place who I'd always catch singing advert jingles at the top of her voice.
Proper crazy.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
wibble

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:16, archived)
OK, you've triggered me now.
My ex did this and it's the most fucking infuriating thing ever. She even made this little "hnnnnggggg" noise under her breath while you were speaking, warming up her next word for the split-second you stopped talking, and you could bet your life she wouldn't have listened to a single word you'd just said.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:06, archived)
Top tip: don't engage this person in conversation.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:10, archived)
I heartily endorse this top tip.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:19, archived)
Going to a gig tonight at the Wallace Collection
Mark Almond, no less.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:04, archived)
eight pints

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:05, archived)
Must be true

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:10, archived)
definitely

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:13, archived)
^^^^

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:13, archived)
Hope you don't have a nut allergy.
Haha, 'cos almonds are a type of nut, see? Hahahahahaha!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:11, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:13, archived)
it's a drupe, m8. come on

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:30, archived)
My brother once tried to persuade me that bananas were a herb, not a fruit.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:13, archived)
I think the plant it grows on is technically a herb, or summat

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:20, archived)
And they can walk

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:24, archived)
Indeed it is.
You can appreciate his confusion.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:27, archived)
good ol' dirty old bollocks

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:12, archived)
Remember what ole dirty said

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:59, archived)
payday today
so i'm planning a nice dinner, a hot shower, plenty of gin and Demon Knight
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:46, archived)
lol, Dick Miller plays Uncle Willy

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:56, archived)
'Dick' and 'Willy' are both euphamisms for penis

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:02, archived)
I prefer the more formal John Thomas

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:08, archived)
no real names pls

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:12, archived)
i know, i've seen it before
they really did lay it on thick with the sex jokes
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:03, archived)
Good choice of film.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:14, archived)
i was about to order it from amazon
but it's on horror channel tonight
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:17, archived)
I was going to ask if that was like Shovel Knight but with demons instead of shovels.
Fortunately, other members of the board weighed in with their film knowledge and stopped me looking like a pillock.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:17, archived)
it's enjoyably silly

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:19, archived)
Why is the word "shart" ok by my phone, but not "fart"
?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:21, archived)
I think you know
If you're honest with yourself, I think you know
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:34, archived)
5/7
Weekend: Shop, shit, shag
Coming week: sell, sell, sell
Week after: ALL ABOUT THE VALENTINE'S DAY INNIT
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:35, archived)
Is it?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:03, archived)
only if you are 14 and going to nandos for a date

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:09, archived)
oh ok, phew

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:09, archived)
Nah. Mine's gonna be boring. Working tomorrow and Sunday
Mrs stuj is playing Total War Warhammer. She's upset cos she can't have a dragon for her elf queen to ride around on. Every so often she'll go "Look at the boobs on that one" I'm hoping she's talking about elves rather than dragons here.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:33, archived)
Wordsmith 6/7, u?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42906780

alt: ever fisted a cow?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:53, archived)
5
alt: erry day, m8
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:01, archived)
Noice

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
7/7

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
Wow
I thought I was heading for a full house but got the last one wrong
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
The pregnancy one was a guess and so was the Swiss degree question.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
neva 4get :*(

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
8/7

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
Impressive

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
7/7, "Poet".
GET IN. First time I've aced one of these things for ages.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:13, archived)
Sweeeeeeeeet

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
Duuuuuuuude

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
Well done
you are clearly a lot more believable than I
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:59, archived)
I have to admit I guessed several of them as well.
Unlike most weeks, though, a lot of the questions seemed to offer up an answer that was substantially more likely to be true than the other ones. I've lost track of the number of times I haven't had the faintest clue as to the answer and have just clicked at random.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:23, archived)
2/7
I clicked as quick as I could through them as I needed a piss
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:13, archived)
course

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:14, archived)
please don't bully me online

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
lol

lol
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
lol
lol
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
Ooh, Tie Fighters!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:59, archived)
Failed drug test, no quizzes for me

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
uh

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
5/7

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
5
No.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:29, archived)
4
ALT. NO
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
"Cow-fister" Your score: 6/7

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
Poet
7/7

Total luck. I didn't know what ANY of the last ones stood for.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
Yeah you did. Mumsnet .

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:37, archived)
YABU

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:39, archived)
DH DB DVDA LOL

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)

A LOL FEVER
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:42, archived)
Sorry, other way round. I mean 7/7

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:52, archived)
5
alt: depends who's asking
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:44, archived)
it's broadsword

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:46, archived)
he won't get nuthin outta me

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:49, archived)
6/7
No but I am currently eating beef jerky
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:47, archived)
Any news on the job?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:48, archived)
Not yet.
If I don't hear from them by the end of the day, I haven't got it.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:51, archived)
Ask them for feedback with a note
attached to a brick through the window
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:00, archived)
I would if it wasn't slap bang in the middle of town

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:12, archived)
5
There must be a better way to tenderise.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:52, archived)
Well stick my arm up a cow's jacksie, it's only the fackin weekend!
Kid tonight, mums up tomorrow to inspect the new gaff and then I'm getting on the fucking shoe. Sunday I plan to spend cooking and sleeping and generally loafing about.

u?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:52, archived)
kegel exercises

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
good

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)
^Willie Kegel

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:08, archived)
sounds Jewish

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:17, archived)
We were expecting to move this weekend, so everything got done last week
So we've got a free one. Bit of family time, I expect.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:56, archived)
A week today, m8
a week today
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)
a new house to get gamey in!

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:59, archived)
Imma game up every damn room, m8

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:59, archived)
good 1 m8 lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)

Tomoz: art exhibition in the morning, whenever I get up. Going to watch Ireland give France a royal shoeing at the only real Irish pub in town in the arvo.

Sunday: almost certainly some combination of rehab, beer, cinema and wanking.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:58, archived)
Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen.
Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
Maybe it's easier to like someone else's life, and live vicariously through it, than take some responsibility to change our lives into lives we might like.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:06, archived)
Be the change you want to be.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
What I'm actually going to make is my own mustard.
Country horseradish mustard, m8 - I swear down
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
Make sure you put down a layer of epoxy resin first.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:22, archived)

o r
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:24, archived)
I'm getting in on that
Not this weekend obviously, but still
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
It all turned up this morning
Apart from the chipotle chili relish which had sold out
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
what does the shipping cost?
I didn't notice that on the form
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:34, archived)
£4, free over £50

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
Gokarting with my brother, tomorrow.
Need to pop into the nerd shop and pick up some more paints, too, then out for dinner in the evening.
This counts as an unusually busy Saturday.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:06, archived)

Gok f

lol
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
lol
The family that farts together, sharts together.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
gonna stroke my jaw chinny-reckon style

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:06, archived)
for two whole days?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:07, archived)
He keeps checking.
One day, he'll grow a whisker!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
He thought he had a pube, until he pissed out it!
LOL
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
oh m8, fucking lol!
you got me there!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:19, archived)
haha it's all in good fun

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
tits balls quim poo bum, mote like

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
true

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
mote

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL!!!!!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
I knew you'd like it, m8

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
I have to decide whether I want to start drinking today until sunday or tomorrow until sunday
+#lifechoices
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:07, archived)
3 threads in a row about fisting a cow
well done everyone
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:08, archived)
a happy mod is a good mod

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:25, archived)
Probably do some headstone charcoal rubbings or get right on one , dunno

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
and a stop-off at a letterbox along the way...?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:21, archived)
I've decided to just send you an Oz, save fucking about, i should be getting it today or tomorrow

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
magic

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
pilates class and then might take a bottle of prosecco and a dvd round $$'s house, probably dirty dancing because we both love patrick swayzee

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:21, archived)
oh, you finally upgraded from your VHS copy?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
wore it out, di'n't I

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
lol oh yeah because you watched it so much

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:47, archived)
Might have a wee tipple tonight.
Got the kid over tomorrow night. Will cook something homely.
Sunday, who can say..?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:21, archived)
observe the sabbath, m8, come on

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)

ok.ru/video/88199596740
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
nice

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
It's the best film footage of them ever
Apart from perhaps the Ontario Speedway outdoor show: the size of the crowd is fucking mindblowing
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
Osbournes are SO 90's

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:49, archived)

tipple
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
Eat Play Doh and shit out a rainbow

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
Julia Roberts' finest role.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
Heads up for all the forum tranny's
www.kentonline.co.uk/folkestone/news/burglars-raid-transgender-shop-lacies-in-folkestone-159505/
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:28, archived)
'Sue' looks like a cross between Julian Cope and Zelda from Terrahawks

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
If he's got an arm up a cow bum is it still a solo sex act?
Morning.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:32, archived)
maybe it was his right hand up the cow's bum
and he wanked with his left so that it felt like a different cow.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:35, archived)
I don't think that sounds right

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:42, archived)
i know, but I'm not here to shame anyone for their kinks

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
^ telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
I gotta big fat mama trying to break me

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
That's no way to talk about your wife.
Hahahahahaha!
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
I'm not married.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:42, archived)
You'll be a bachelor boy,
until your dying day.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
strikey g rent

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:12, archived)
A girls gotta eat.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
Urggg

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:57, archived)
Alright

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:04, archived)
Bit ropey this morning tbh , getting too old

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:06, archived)
too much mandy or molly or cindy or whatever?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
Alright, Lou Bega.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
Or not enough, mates birthday today too, we're out at 12

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
my kid's too
we're having cake and antibiotics
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
Happy birthday control, you're 2 now, get a job , lazy bloody toddlers

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:53, archived)
emergency shoe it is then

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
The people I'm out with are shoe people

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
Cobblers.
"No, it's true!" etc.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtkq62PVfEI
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
I'm going to be humming that all day now

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
That's em yeah , might see if we can have a year up with the poddington pea wankers

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
fuck those fucking pea wankers

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:59, archived)
Raggy Dolls reprazent

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:59, archived)
Rosie n Jim 4 lyf

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
Finger mouse, muthafucka
I've still not quite got over seeing him drowned.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
Telebugs or gtfo

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:08, archived)
S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. gave me some of my first ever feelings about a lady, IIRC.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
Bertha, more like.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:12, archived)
Lol.
Welly, Northumberland Street, etc.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:25, archived)
Now THERE's a theme tune that gets stuck in your head

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
My cousin went to college with a girl, whose sister did the voice for Tilly off Tots TV
#AmazingClaimsToFame
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:04, archived)
My dad was as Cosmo.
He had a massive falling out with Dibs.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:09, archived)
Just posting here to bask in the reflected glory

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
Stick with me, kid
I'll take you right to the top
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:13, archived)
ghey

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
did he get her in the sac magique?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:13, archived)
This would be an ecumenical matter
morning. You're in a good mood today.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:59, archived)
WRONG

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:04, archived)
If his hand was up a taun taun's bum, it would be a Han Solo sex act
Haha because he's in some star wars but not all of them
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:06, archived)
Shit joke. Fuck you.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:06, archived)
Maybe it's fuck YOU, m8
Maybe it's fuck you
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
It was actually light when I left the house this morning
I love it when the 'leave the house in the dark, come home in the dark' season ends.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:38, archived)
I know what you mean
When I worked at lockheed, due to the sensitive nature of the work, my office had no external windows. So during the winter months, I'd sometimes go all week without seeing daylight.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
Two Hats,
yesterday.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:52, archived)
I don't think much of Rick Parfitt's replacement

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:53, archived)
When I worked at the secret nuclear bunker under the mod in Whitehall we got extra money for being like mole people never seeing the sun

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
If it was such a secret, how did you find your way in, eh?
Suspicious
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:05, archived)
I had to sign some official secrets thing , not a big deal I'm sure

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:08, archived)
When I visited London as a kid, my mum took us to see the office where she worked for the MoD.
A policeman politely told us to fuck off.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
^ thought they smelled bad on the outside

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
Only if he's making piston movements with his arm in the manner of a trombone solo.
Morning innit. Friday innit.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:11, archived)
Yuck

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:39, archived)
dunno lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:20, archived)
lol

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
#memoo

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
I bet you love cows you veggie cow sexing yurt prick

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
pls respect my religious beliefs

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
yes

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
If Sean Connery has his arm up a cow bum, it must be very cold.
I don't know why, but he said it was fresian.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
Stop

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
this joke is a little convoluted
but who am I to judge?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:47, archived)
David Williams?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
Well, I am sexually ambiguous and often covered in goose fat

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
He's such a cunt

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
To be fair, all the best children's authors are creepy weirdos.
OK, admittedly J.K. Rowling seems relatively normal, but she's a woman so she doesn't count.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:04, archived)
his books are shit and repetitive and, as mcbeef rightly pointed out, he's a cunt

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
I don't think I'm qualified to argue with any of that.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
We're like two peas in a pod

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:05, archived)
My kids love his books.
I have to admire his ability to publish the same story, over and over again, just by changing the characters' names.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
Me, you mean

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:13, archived)
Can I have your autograph?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
of course

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
It's purely coincidence that my autograph book looks just like your cheque book.
Can you make it out to "Cash"?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:20, archived)
The amount of money I've donated to the Chicago All Saints Hospital is staggering

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
The Appleton sisters do great charity work, and your support is really appreciated.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:25, archived)
Connery's brother's just had a baby daughter
I could tell you a joke about it, but it's a little niche
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
good heavensh

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
alright, "Popbitch Weekly Newsletter".
Haha, imagine a website having a weekly newsletter, eh? I bet that would be well lol.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:55, archived)
As if such a thing could be real, come on Hedgey, don't be such a pie in the sky dreamer

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
I only found this place after reading about Popbitch in the Big Issue.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
I'd write another newsletter
but none of you do anything interesting
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
UNSUBSCRIBE

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
Depends on if there were imaginary cows there

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:58, archived)
Help, need building advice
Some prick neighbours are being prick neighbours with a builder we have hired. The builders this morning are about to lay concrete over some garage bases.

One of the prick neighbours has said that there should be an epoxy/resin placed on the bases before the concrete is poured. I've googled the shit out of it for the past 5 minutes and have no fucking idea. Is this a thing, is it worth it?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
Rubbish, you'd pour it on top of the concrete if you wanted a polished dust free floor, not under it, it would just seep into the ground

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
Right, I've worked out what the fuck they are on about, a Bonding Agent
Wouldn't this be in the fucking concrete they have ordered?
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
Yeah it'll be in the ready-mix

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
if they're pouring fresh concrete on top of old
then you need a kind of sealant/base layer to help it stick. But watered down PVA glue is good enough, you don't need resins.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
what you need to do, right, is pull your trousers and pants down, and have a great big wee

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:13, archived)
Did that
The warm wet feet feeling is REALLY helping
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
"I've got your poxy resin right here!"

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
I'd hope the builder would know about this sort of thing.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
I read about resin in a book once, when I was young.
I think it was Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. Hth
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
Tell him to shut the fuck up or you'll stab him

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
This is the correct answer

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
stab him anyway, as a warning to any other neighbours

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
exactly

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)
Have you tried telling them to mind their own fucking business?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
"Stay inside or I'll fucking kill you."

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
My face doesn't give that away
Which is a shame as it is set to fuck you most days of the week
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:35, archived)
your face wants to fuck Two Hats?

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
He is the go to face fucker
The boy has a talent, let him shine.
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
Ring their doorbell within earshot of a policeman
and ask "WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT USING CANNABIS RESIN WHEN POURING CONCRETE?"
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
Eveninh

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 0:43, archived)
eveninh SSG
alright, SSG
(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 0:45, archived)
Alright, beeter dot come slash Lynx.
metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/?ito=social
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:58, archived)
probably just misses his wife

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:01, archived)
oh hey grrry
what kind of grammar is going on when someone says something like "went shopping for trousers, i tried on a pair but they didn't fit".. it wouldn't sound right to say "it didn't fit" even though "a pair" is clearly singular
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:59, archived)
Why can't you just say they didn't fit, a pair of trousers has been around since they were 2 separate legs tied together

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 23:23, archived)
I missed that episode of Last of the Summer Wine.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:04, archived)
He was probably just going too fast in a bath on wheels and couldn't stop in time.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:19, archived)
Now that I can relate to.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:22, archived)
I'm sure there was a perfectly innocent explanation.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:05, archived)
That was me m8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:09, archived)
You don't look a day over 79.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:16, archived)
It's my healthy outdoor activities that keep me young

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:31, archived)
Healthy old pervert, you've got to give him that, 80 and wanking in fields

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:11, archived)
one arm up a cow and he can still crack one off, remarkable really

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:13, archived)
I might just crowd fund him a cow

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:14, archived)
I'll chip in a tenner.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:20, archived)
I don't know prossie cows rates anymore

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 23:18, archived)
<s> picks up the rice In the church where a wedding has been

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:22, archived)
makes his own cream

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:26, archived)
sticks it up nice in the arse where a farmer has been

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:34, archived)
mooo - look out for the bovine paedo

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:39, archived)
alright, don't milk it.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:58, archived)
here is a new thread
not that you deserve it
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:36, archived)
aw cheers
you spoil us grry
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:48, archived)
I'm like a motherfucking ambassador

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:10, archived)
Tits or gtfo

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:58, archived)

imgur.com/a/f6oDU
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:10, archived)
I hoped for proper boobs to fight back against this pc culture, I'm sure polish TV still has fit models in hotpants

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:17, archived)

d-w24.ppstatic.pl/g2/da/92/8e/288647_1385216248_0099_p.jpeg

Music video
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:29, archived)
But that's old grrr where's the new stuff

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:35, archived)
fuck would I know?
good enough?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:42, archived)
That's a very stylish video

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:47, archived)
They've started showing Bodo over here grrry.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:41, archived)
don't know his work, but I've seen his name about
died in a gulag
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:45, archived)
That's a relief
I'm nicety twatted and no longer give a fuck.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:02, archived)
who have you pinched booze off this time?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:10, archived)
I thought putting a bit of mdma in a joint would be ok, I forgot I haven't done it for years, now I feel all pilled up, twat

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:11, archived)
lol
I can almost taste that aniseedy/burnt plastic perfume, eww
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:11, archived)
It's grim, you need to be out somewhere dancing or it's just silly

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:19, archived)
I'm back from my night out now.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:35, archived)
alone, as usual

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:50, archived)
Yeah, and do you know what, Grrry? I'm comfortable with that.
Right now I'm just kicking back with a couple of beers and some good music, savouring the thought that that's it's nearly the weekend.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:55, archived)
smart
I'm just sitting here dripping mucous and letting the toddler drool dry off my shoulder. Being single has a certain appeal.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:56, archived)
I'd say you're taking a Zen approach to the situation, which almost always works out for the best.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:03, archived)
Just like twohats knob, that thread was short and unsatisfying.
How is your afternoon?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:20, archived)
I had a little snooze and now it's nearly time to go home

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:25, archived)
I want home

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34, archived)
have a little snooze

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:37, archived)

e o's
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:44, archived)

t k
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 19:13, archived)
long and irritating
i want to go shopping
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:26, archived)
Not bad
and getting better all the time
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:28, archived)
All cool, my mate Andy has a shit load of Mandy so I'm off too get some soon

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:29, archived)
I can't go near that stuff any more
Properly overdid it, now just thinking about the smell of it makes me heave
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:50, archived)
I've not had any in years, I'm sure I'll get very hot and spew up within an hour

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:54, archived)
Good luck pal
You're a bigger man than me
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:09, archived)
I'll probably not have any tonight, I've never found it goes well with lager, that or one pint lasts me all night

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:14, archived)
It's going alreet, liek.
Just spent the best part of an hour on a teleconference with an accountant abroad who's been tearing his hair out for years at a client of ours. Said client is far too senile to have any idea how to run a company or keep any sort of records, so there's a hole in his company's accounts for the past four years the size of Kent.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:30, archived)

een tearing his hair out for years at a client of ours. Said client is far too senile to have any idea how to run a company or keep any sort of records, so there's a hole in his company's accounts for the past four years the size of K
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
Perfect

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34, archived)
I've managed to streamline it

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34, archived)
To go with your streamllined knob?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:41, archived)
Um, if you like

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:42, archived)
You've opened a can of worms with your nob here

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:19, archived)
I wish I hadn't bothered :(

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:35, archived)
don't let them grind you down
always follow the path of the blade
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:45, archived)
not with u are nob tho

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:46, archived)
no lol

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:47, archived)
worlds strongest nob

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:15, archived)
shit and rubbish
bet you wish you hadn't asked now
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:31, archived)
I'm glad he asked

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:38, archived)
Nopr

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:42, archived)
I took your advice
and now I'm dead.

Hope you're happy.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:55, archived)
I'm not happy but it cheered me up a little, thanks.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:15, archived)
I'm just relieved it's over

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
Turns out you CAN wank yourself to death

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
Excellent. I'm going to make a living will that states if I end up in a persistent vegetative state I am to be wanked to death by a pretty nurse with big tits.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:19, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/roguesandvillains/post1747433
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:56, archived)
shit bin

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:58, archived)
piss bucket

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 19:41, archived)
in a, on a, up a or out a?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:17, archived)
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 19:41, archived)
U MELT

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 19:42, archived)
I'm sorry, but I don't see what any of this has to do with my knob?
Alright?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:19, archived)
Yeah , alright, I've supplied a link for people who don't know about ur nob
youtu.be/gipn-ukO3mw
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:28, archived)
Excellent
Do you know, they lost some of the original recorded dialogue from that film, so if you have a new copy of it (on bluray, or whatever) every now and again, the kids voices sound weird. They tried re-recording the bits that were missing, and it sounds terrible.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:30, archived)
#InterestingIfTrue

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:31, archived)
I've only seen on TV about 10 years ago, I didn't much care for it as a kid, dunno why

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:35, archived)
I thought the kids in Mary Poppins were hotter.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:41, archived)
Are they different kids?
I thought they were all the same, but then I watched one of those there Lord of the Rings films and forgot there were actually 4 hobbits. I spent an hour in utter confusion, trying to work out what was going on to this pair of little guys before realising my mistake.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:49, archived)
Can you see what *grabs* THIS has to do with your knob?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:33, archived)
No
No one can
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:33, archived)
A real mystery for the ages.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:36, archived)
your knob looks like it grew in a damp dark forest m8
a Slav would steal it for soup
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:35, archived)
Yes thanks
Got a new record today
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYZoUuZhLmI

It has literally nothing to do with your knob.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:41, archived)
I like that.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:43, archived)
I've treated myself to a few this month
As my old dad used to say, 'still got a job? Then spend like a knob'
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:55, archived)
I rather like that expression.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:57, archived)
that's pretty cool

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:52, archived)
I shelled out fifty sheets for a copy of Crabcakes by Gunga Din (no really) as well
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fombKwgjCcM

That's a rare ol' rekkid
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:56, archived)
I was expecting to take delivery of a new record today and I did not take delivery of a new record today
this may or may not have something to do with TH's knob
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:19, archived)
I'm waiting on this breakbeat classic, I feel your pain
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMJZSTga_d4
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:29, archived)
Very Roger Mellie

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:43, archived)

roger s
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:49, archived)
urgh

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:50, archived)
I am sorry

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:50, archived)

+ for your loss
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:51, archived)
you don't have to apologise for anything, m8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:53, archived)
everything
here let me show you
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:03, archived)
has someone turned it a quarter turn to the right and tapped it 3 times?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:06, archived)
This may have something to do with your knob, just got this spam:
Subject: Forskolin: #1 Weight Loss Supplement ever
The email sender? Time To Get Ripped.

*shudder*
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:20, archived)
I'd rather not rip my forskolin if it's all the same to you.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:23, archived)
I'd rather nobody did that
it's a horrible thought and has me squirming in a most uncomfortable way.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:55, archived)
I've lookied into the future and tomorrow I will score 3/7 in the BBC quiz
what do you predict?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:46, archived)
a riot
You know, like in that song!
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:47, archived)
White riot?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:48, archived)
The Clash's only good tune

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
bollocks
Guns of Brixton is class, and you know it.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:14, archived)
Oh you fucking wind up merchant

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
mcbeef's ideologically opposed to Joe Strummer, if memory serves.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:42, archived)
One of many major malfunctions with that boy

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:49, archived)
a litany

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:26, archived)
I don't care about this thread gary, but I want to be near the top to share a link with Jason.
youtu.be/fbGkxcY7YFU

I predict you will tell me I'm in a mood.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:48, archived)
oh em gee

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
Don't I know

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:57, archived)
BUT will I tell you you're in a GOOD mood, or a BAD mood?
that's why everyone should come back, same time, same place tomorrow.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:06, archived)
I'm in an alright mood at the minute

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:11, archived)
Yayyy!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:13, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-n_ZNtfldI
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
I predict I will have to shout to make myself heard at the bar to which I'm going tonight.
The place is called SOULTRAIN Café but the owners seem to think that Snoop Dogg makes soul music, and the theme for their most recent event night was "Rap / R'n'B", so I'm beginning to feel a touch of creeping dread.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:01, archived)
Yeah, when I go to the Cat and Fiddle in Bethnal Green I'm always really upset it's a dog playing a flute.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:04, archived)
Trading Standards are swamped, I'm telling you. Swamped.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:16, archived)
Some spam is trying to get all my personal info with a fake match.com phishing address
₣INĐ A MAC WI A 3 ĐAҰ RIAL
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:08, archived)
Also, the woman on the desk next to me is eating beef flavour hula hoops
they smell like dog food.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:14, archived)
Tell her you can smell her meaty hoop from where you're sitting.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:18, archived)
the packet is facing me, open, bit growly/wizard's sleevish

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:19, archived)
You get all the best coworkers.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:23, archived)
She's no sexy cyclist laydee

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Cor!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
Ask her if she's ever ate one off her fingers

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)
health, wealth and happiness for all my forum chums x

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:25, archived)
I have just read that a woman at the airport of Newark (USA) wanted to take a peacock onboard her flight as an "Emotional Support Animal"

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
I read that.
And that she's a performance artist who likes to pose nude with the peacock.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
I get a lot of hassle in airports with my wee wee support tapir.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:30, archived)
What?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:43, archived)
What? I didn't hear anything

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
My new work trousers arrived.
They've got a little pocket for kneepads. I'm well chuffed.

Edit: in before blow job joke
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
Sounds like they'd be ideal for the roller disco.
And blow jobs, obvs.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
I first read that as 'new york trousers'
and was about to ask what that meant
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05, archived)
It means you might want a new prescription.
Or a brain scan.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
a little from column A, a little from column B

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
It's how we wear them in Bedford-Stuyvesant

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)

t's how we wear them in Bedford-

+ smoke Peter

*shrugs*
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
woah

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
Same Stuyvesant, factamundo fanaroonies

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
yep back when it was New Amsterdam

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
The do or die Bed-Stuy, m8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
you knows it

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
don henleyzzzz

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:20, archived)

kneepads sweeties ch st
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:14, archived)
Oh no, another case of hearing AIDS

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
Is that you there, Father Jack?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
Ardal O'Hanlon is an unfunny wanker

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
Pretty sure My Hero was the best comedy series since Goodnight Sweetheart.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
Sounds right.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05, archived)
Not arguing with you there,
and he didn't write any of the material for Father Ted.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:04, archived)
Father Ted hasn't aged well.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05, archived)
Well, no, he's dead.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
lol

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
I don't agree with you here, just sayin

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:12, archived)
No, I think it's stood the test of time as well.
Especially as anything set in rural Ireland is permanently stuck in the 1950s anyway.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
Fight me.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:17, archived)
You don't want this

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:19, archived)
I'll put £5 on the fat one

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
you’ve got £10?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
shit!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:56, archived)
ey up ger

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
alright Dai

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:24, archived)
not bad, not bad at all

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:57, archived)
better than a lot of things, i'd say

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
alright 'stone cold' steve austin

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
I watched a bit of his obstacle course show.
It was alright.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
haha, I've seen that
It was just as daft as I thought it'd be. Americans are funny, aren't they. They take things so seriously.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
That was half the fun of it was all the shouting and growling at eachother.
Steve also only seems to have that one outfit he's worn everyday since about 2002
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
You're absolutely right
but then, I've been wearing the same outfit since the late 90's, so I'm not one to talk
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
You are Posh Spice
AICMFP
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
bumholes

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:48, archived)
Horbs xx

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
Georgia xx

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
Up yours dickface

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
and the same to you Sir!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
He really is in one of his moods today

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
They speak English in What?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
Yeah

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
Great.
I'll book my holiday there.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
Dunno,
but they speak it in Why.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
wut wut up the butt

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
I think the lyric was "in the butt"

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
lyric?
I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with this ditty.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
It's windy's favourite song you terrible troll

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:31, archived)
A sphincter says whom?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
What?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:53, archived)
When?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:54, archived)
Whence?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
Thence

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
on the stence

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
Right hence.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8147715
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:54, archived)
Whomo

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
you heard

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:54, archived)
You ought to watch your mouth

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
There is a chain of stores in South Wales called What!
Which is a stupid name for a store.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05, archived)
Key words: Wales. Stupid.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
Don't say shit like that
They are lethal with a leek
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:17, archived)
There's a shop in Commercial Road called 'Smiggle'
and I hate it.

Smiggle. Smiggle. Smiggle.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
Is it because it rhymes with jiggle and reminds you how fat you are?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
unkind

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
Is it because it rhymes with niggle and reminds you how racist you are?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
His favourite comedic actor is Rob Riggle
Because he is a racist. Probably.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
Is it because it rhymes with triggle and reminds you how trickle-down economics works?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:12, archived)
I think it's this one

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
Is it because it rhymes with biggle and reminds you how you were thrown out of the RAF?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
Not just out of the RAF
but out the back of a moving Hercules
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
Smiggle is like crack for little girls.
For about a year, after which they see it for the tat it is.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
Is it because it rhymes with Iggle Piggle
and you have an unrequited love for him and his handbag?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
He doesn't have a handbag , you are wrong as per

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:31, archived)
Enlighen me...

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:53, archived)
Tinky Winky from the teletubbies had a handbag , ickle pickle doesn't

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
I have learned something today
thank you
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
is it because it's a combination of 'smile' and 'giggle'?
because yes it fucking is. i saw it written on the wall there and suddenly hoped the whole city would be engulfed by the sea
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:08, archived)
There is a curry house in Limehouse called Chutney.
Chutney!!!

lol
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)

he'
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
Wait, there's one in Oxford called Chutneys.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
you're right - that IS lol!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
Probably because it's the collective name for various sauces and pickles that originate from India,
and is therefore as good a name as any for an Indian restaurant.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:19, archived)
Butt Chutney!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
Gentleman's Relish.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
Never be entirely idle; but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
Remember back in 2000, when it was enough to just take something already established, and add '2000' to it, to make a new thing?
I want us to start doing that again
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
Two Thousand Hats?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:48, archived)
now it's all sex, sex, sex, and rape

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:49, archived)

waaaaait for it...
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
I love the spanish version of that bit
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gefpFlrkf20
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:28, archived)

ajajaja
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:33, archived)
False friend lols
"Tocaté" (Korean) = "OK, uh-huh"

"Tocaté (Spanish) = "Touch yourself"
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:36, archived)
pinch punch first day of the month
No returns
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 7:12, archived)
I love February.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
strikey g sweaty men bum spaz mneurgh etc

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:15, archived)
Rude.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
Also, Chris sent me a photo of the mock up of the bike that tank was for.
It's awful and I feel bad for helping him.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
is it some mad max bullshit rather than a restoration then?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
All the shit cafe racer bollocks done badly.
Single seat, shit clip ons but hasn't moved the foot pegs because you can't due to the gear lever and kick being one lever, over long exhaust. I'm surprised it doesn't have exhaust wrap.

imgur.com/nqzXy4a
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32, archived)
this is why I left thanet
EDIT: that's a special kind of special
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
I don't have any strong feelings about the bike,
but why are the colours so desaturated in that photo?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
I didn't take it.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:03, archived)
Just answer the question, Windy.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
I

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
Don't

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
Know

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
looks a bit instagram

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
You look a bit beardogram

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:03, archived)
aw thanks mat8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
That is everything that's wrong with this country.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:14, archived)
We should firebomb thanet

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
And Broadstairs and Ramsgate.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
which are on Thanet.
No extra effort required. Relax.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
Ah, yes, sleet, cold, wind and darkness
what a time to be alive!
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
Shut up gary for fucks sake.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)
Don't let him get to you piggy

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
Who's a sensitive sausage today then?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
probably should see a doctor if your sausage isn't sensitive

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:31, archived)
OK, nobody reply to this thread because Grrrmachine said not to.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:10, archived)
punch yourself in the dick

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:15, archived)
Alright, Dozer.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:17, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8148005
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:26, archived)
Hope everyone is well again in Grrr Mansions

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:17, archived)
no chance m7.5+1/2
I'm ill too now. Got vommed on 5mins after getting out of the shower.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
I'd change gyms if I were you.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:29, archived)
Not so much laugh a minute
as barf a minute!
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:41, archived)
Fishing club renewal just came in, bit bloody early this year

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:20, archived)
maybe it's all an elaborate set up so that someone can say
"the early bird gets the worm" and you can all laugh cos people use worms as fishbait.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:27, archived)
Waiting list is 5 years, so I think they are trying to get the numbers in quickly, they are also dropping membership numbers

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:30, archived)
and it's World Hijab Day!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
supporting friendly vaccinations?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32, archived)
praise be to allah

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
Mine is red with podka dots in

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
ah shit that means it's nearly my wife's birthday

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32, archived)
getting him/her anything nice?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
probably not

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:39, archived)
And mine and my daughter's

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:35, archived)
you'll all have to share the same present I'm afraid

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:41, archived)
I can wait till baselworld at the end of march if it helps

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
Get her one thing and say it's for both her birthday and Valentine's Day.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
I don't think I have ever bought her anything for valentine's day
I'm not 14, see?
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:06, archived)
alright 'Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony'

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
Bone, wangs 'n' shartory

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
boner tugs and llama-wee

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:33, archived)
words cannot express how shit that song is

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
rare complete agreement here

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
dunno about rare
we both appreciate the blues, for one
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)

blues cock
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
lol, domestic violence!

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
I knew a spanish wifebeater
he put the Ole into Domestic Violence
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
¿Qué?

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:23, archived)
you're such a que-er

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:29, archived)
Pronunciation lols.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:37, archived)
+ Anderson
that one's for manolith
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
acknowledged

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
Excellent
if you could sign *here*, and intial *here*, then everything will be nice and official.
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
*spoils ballot*

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
Sven-Ole Thorsen or GTFO.

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
*G's T F O*

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:14, archived)
hello gang

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:58, archived)
hey, look, it's Two Hats

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)
*waves*

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:02, archived)
those are more like oscillations m8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
so glad I dropped by

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
strikey-g one man

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
I'm the african dream, m8

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
100% NOT racist

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:12, archived)
obvs

(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:38, archived)
burst at the gunt more like
new thread time
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:38, archived)
Kick in the dick for being so quick.

(, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:08, archived)

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