BOING!BOING BOING BOING DOING BOING GOING BOING etc
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 2:04,
archived)
More like thump thump thump thump thump thump thump bark bark bark (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 11:44,
archived)
Drinking the glass of wine I poured last night and didn't drink while listening to the Lemonheads.Everything's coming up slippery mick.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:02,
archived)
Back from the gym now.Might make a spot of lunch.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Feb 2018, 13:27,
archived)
So was supposed to be going to a family party tonightbut the wifes not feeling up to it.
Are you going out tonight?
There's fuck all on telly.
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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 18:51,
archived)
I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 19:20,
archived)
Just got home from the epic France v. Ireland match.GET IN!
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 20:07,
archived)
I'm trying to put the spawn to bedwhile we're both hacking our lungs out, and the wife has fucked off for a pint.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 20:09,
archived)
No Watching the stand and getting pissed
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 21:00,
archived)
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:15,
archived)
Is this your way of letting us know that your cat's breath smells of cat food? (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 14:57,
archived)
tinkles or twinkies, i think(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 15:47,
archived)
Tinkles, yes.You all smell of piss.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:07,
archived)
but i washed!(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 16:08,
archived)
Everyone having a lie in this morning? (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:22,
archived)
Yeh.Got up at half ten, fed the cats, went to the post office and am now attacking brekkie. How you doin'?
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:46,
archived)
Slightly ropey But black coffee, fruit juice and a steak sandwich sorted it. Just debating whether to watch scooby doo or do some actual housework
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 10:55,
archived)
Watch Scooby Doo all morning.Then you can say that you would have done the housework if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 11:04,
archived)
I will watch aloha scooby doo And put a wash on during the break.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 3 Feb 2018, 11:10,
archived)
So this is a Friday night then, is it?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 18:59,
archived)
I'm still at work and have no evening plans so I guess it must be(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:01,
archived)
No, I quite like my family(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:16,
archived)
Took the boy to youth club, dropped the twins at camp. Grabbing a quick soup before heading out to pick up the boy.
Party hard!
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 19:38,
archived)
these poo euphemisms are getting more elaborate(
manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 20:43,
archived)
Think I must have unpooed, at some point. How's that for sphincter control?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 21:24,
archived)
It's as close as we're going to get to one this week.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 22:41,
archived)
Simon Robinson at number 18 has died. Just seen them roll him in to a private ambulance.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:35,
archived)
Also. My last Job ticket of the day was to get a blackbird out of a chimney.Little bugger was terrified.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:37,
archived)
We had that already (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:42,
archived)
He's obviously not a clever bird(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:43,
archived)
23 more and you could have had yourself a pie. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:44,
archived)
It's a giftwrapped boxset of Rastamouse, happy birthday(
broadsword w⚓, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:39,
archived)
MY FUCKEN PENUS(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:39,
archived)
Look, more tie fighters! (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 17:35,
archived)
A dreadful mistake. I'm so sorry.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:45,
archived)
It's years of feeling inferior before burning your bra at 18(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:46,
archived)
I'm proper fucked now , might be time to go home or get an ambulance (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 18:59,
archived)
Alright, enough about that old shitWant to talk about the weekend? I bet you fucking do, you shit box. What about next week? And the week after? Jesus, you make me fucking sick.
Still, nearly christmas. Might fist a cow.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:32,
archived)
I'm fucking apoplectic(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38,
archived)
do they make bivvys for two?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38,
archived)
Yes, or you can get a 2 man overwrap for a single bivvy(
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:41,
archived)
It can be difficult with such a large erection to find somewhere to put it (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:48,
archived)
I'm sure you've squeezed yours into some tight spots(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55,
archived)
EVERY weekend, m8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:39,
archived)
there's cake in the fridge but we're all too sick to eat it(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:38,
archived)
That's roughWe were all like that over christmas. So much food and drink around, and we wanted none of it. Get well soon, you fucking stupid fucking cunt.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:39,
archived)
cheers you ugly bent gay spaz(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:40,
archived)
why would you keep it in the fridge?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44,
archived)
Ice cream cake?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44,
archived)
then I'm glad they're all unwell(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:46,
archived)
I'll tell you when I've had enough(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52,
archived)
I'm not tired, YOU ARE(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55,
archived)
cos it's got all cream and shit in it, innitWhere do you keep your cakes? In some stupid bent pantry like an idiot?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:51,
archived)
I keep my croissants in a bent pantry(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:52,
archived)
don't you dare tarnish Roy Castle's great name(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:40,
archived)
If you wanna be a HYMEN BREAKERRRR!Do cows have hymens? Dunno.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:41,
archived)
haha don't worry I won't(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44,
archived)
Cows probably do too, I guessI have to admit, I'd not really given it much though before now
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43,
archived)
actually I have some great plans for next week, but I need to hold some stuff back for Monday's thread(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43,
archived)
good ideayou don't want to give everything away like some cheap skank
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$$ ✅, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:43,
archived)
exactlyI see myself more as a high class whore
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:45,
archived)
Ah, now that makes sense(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:44,
archived)
although if no one asks about it then I'll have to start a thread pretending to be interested in what other people are doing just so I can talk about my own plans(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:47,
archived)
Do people really *do* that?Man, is that ever self-centered. *cough*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:48,
archived)
I do the same when people at work ask me if I had a good weekend (
$$ ✅, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:51,
archived)
I always answer "yeah, pretty good, ta"but there's a woman in our office who goes into explicit detail about every single event of her weekend. It's fucking painful. She doesn't converse with people; she waits for the other person to stop, so she can carry on talking.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:53,
archived)
Funny storyAt our christmas party one year, someone bought her a vibrator for her secret santa. She hit the fucking roof. She was demanding to know who bought it, was going to report them to the VP, everything. It was ugly. No idea if anyone ever fessed up. They certainly didn't at the christmas do.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:55,
archived)
where did you buy it?I'm asking for a friend
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:01,
archived)
place on Upper Arundel St(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:04,
archived)
oh fuckI know the place
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:06,
archived)
Ha, niceI saw a product in Pets At Home called 'bitch spray' that I thought would make a good secret santa gift. Then I remembered the vibrator incident, and decided against it.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:03,
archived)
Friend of mine got a can of lynx, baked beans, Stella, and a copy of Nuts, one year. I don't think anyone was particularly upset.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:08,
archived)
I knew a lad who used air freshener as deodorant. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:13,
archived)
Not entirely sure. This was back in school, and he was generally quite smelly (in winter, his parents would make up for the lack of sweat by drying his laundry by an open fire). I get the feeling that there just wasn't any in the family home, as he only took to spraying himself with airwick after we moaned at him to do something about his bo.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:40,
archived)
oh manthat's actually quite sad
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:44,
archived)
My ex just got back from a week school trip, one lad had only one pair of socks and pants, all he owned , this is primary school, she tells me stuff and it makes me :( (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:48,
archived)
A mate of mine is a site foreman and had to write up one guy for not coming in one day.The bloke's excuse was that he'd washed his pair of trousers and it wasn't dry yet. He didn't have another pair.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:50,
archived)
If he's working he can buy trousers, probably hung over more like (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:52,
archived)
^Different friend of mine never seemed to change out of his school uniform, I never twigged why until much later.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:09,
archived)
You were mates with Angus Young?(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:35,
archived)
and they say that kids aren't living in poverty...(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:12,
archived)
The school pays for many of the kids to go on the trips, and the teachers buy them stuff out of their own pocket, they went to Dorset, they'd never seen the sea or countryside some of them (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:20,
archived)
Some of the kids my missus teaches have never been to the seasideImagine that
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:25,
archived)
You live at the seaside, how the fuck have they managed that (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:26,
archived)
She's been pulling your leg, m8? (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:42,
archived)
that must be it(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:45,
archived)
or really thick children who don't understand what the sea is(
$$ ✅, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:47,
archived)
what is the sea really tho?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:50,
archived)
ESPECIALLY Billy(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:54,
archived)
Is her name Lauren? The fat fucking bitch, she'll be sending herself flowers again soon , nobody believes you've got a fella on the oil rigs Lauren you fat bearded cunt (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 13:56,
archived)
No, she's not called Laurenbut she does have a darling son and a useless husband.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:00,
archived)
Thing is, you can't just walk away, can you?You have to be polite, it's just easier.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:01,
archived)
there was a brainwrong i knew who was bad for oversharingespecially really personal stuff that nobody wanted to hear. i used to sing the armor hot dog song at the top of my voice to shut her up.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:56,
archived)
There was one woman at my old place who I'd always catch singing advert jingles at the top of her voice. Proper crazy.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:10,
archived)
OK, you've triggered me now.My ex did this and it's the most fucking infuriating thing ever. She even made this little "hnnnnggggg" noise under her breath while you were speaking, warming up her next word for the split-second you stopped talking, and you could bet your life she wouldn't have listened to a single word you'd just said.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:06,
archived)
Top tip: don't engage this person in conversation. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:10,
archived)
I heartily endorse this top tip.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:19,
archived)
payday todayso i'm planning a nice dinner, a hot shower, plenty of gin and Demon Knight
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:46,
archived)
lol, Dick Miller plays Uncle Willy(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 14:56,
archived)
'Dick' and 'Willy' are both euphamisms for penis(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:02,
archived)
no real names pls(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:12,
archived)
i know, i've seen it beforethey really did lay it on thick with the sex jokes
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:03,
archived)
Good choice of film. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:14,
archived)
i was about to order it from amazonbut it's on horror channel tonight
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:17,
archived)
I was going to ask if that was like Shovel Knight but with demons instead of shovels.Fortunately, other members of the board weighed in with their film knowledge and stopped me looking like a pillock.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:17,
archived)
it's enjoyably silly(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:19,
archived)
5/7Weekend: Shop, shit, shag
Coming week: sell, sell, sell
Week after: ALL ABOUT THE VALENTINE'S DAY INNIT
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 15:35,
archived)
Nah. Mine's gonna be boring. Working tomorrow and SundayMrs stuj is playing Total War Warhammer. She's upset cos she can't have a dragon for her elf queen to ride around on. Every so often she'll go "Look at the boobs on that one" I'm hoping she's talking about elves rather than dragons here.
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 2 Feb 2018, 16:33,
archived)
Wordsmith 6/7, u?www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42906780
alt: ever fisted a cow?
(
broadsword w⚓, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 11:53,
archived)
WowI thought I was heading for a full house but got the last one wrong
(
broadsword w⚓, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:04,
archived)
The pregnancy one was a guess and so was the Swiss degree question. (, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
7/7, "Poet".GET IN. First time I've aced one of these things for ages.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:13,
archived)
2/7I clicked as quick as I could through them as I needed a piss
(
$$ ✅, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:13,
archived)
"Cow-fister" Your score: 6/7(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:34,
archived)
he won't get nuthin outta me(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:49,
archived)
6/7No but I am currently eating beef jerky
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:47,
archived)
5There must be a better way to tenderise.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 12:52,
archived)
If he's got an arm up a cow bum is it still a solo sex act?Morning.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:32,
archived)
maybe it was his right hand up the cow's bumand he wanked with his left so that it felt like a different cow.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:35,
archived)
I don't think that sounds right(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:42,
archived)
i know, but I'm not here to shame anyone for their kinks(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:31,
archived)
I gotta big fat mama trying to break me(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:07,
archived)
That's no way to talk about your wife. Hahahahahaha!
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:37,
archived)
I'm not married.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 7:42,
archived)
You'll be a bachelor boy, until your dying day.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:46,
archived)
too much mandy or molly or cindy or whatever? (
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:22,
archived)
Or not enough, mates birthday today too, we're out at 12 (
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:31,
archived)
my kid's toowe're having cake and antibiotics
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:33,
archived)
Happy birthday control, you're 2 now, get a job , lazy bloody toddlers(
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:53,
archived)
If his hand was up a taun taun's bum, it would be a Han Solo sex actHaha because he's in some star wars but not all of them
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:06,
archived)
Shit joke. Fuck you.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:06,
archived)
Maybe it's fuck YOU, m8Maybe it's fuck you
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:22,
archived)
^ thought they smelled bad on the outside(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:48,
archived)
Only if he's making piston movements with his arm in the manner of a trombone solo.Morning innit. Friday innit.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:11,
archived)
I bet you love cows you veggie cow sexing yurt prick(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:45,
archived)
pls respect my religious beliefs(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:49,
archived)
Depends on if there were imaginary cows there (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:58,
archived)
Help, need building adviceSome prick neighbours are being prick neighbours with a builder we have hired. The builders this morning are about to lay concrete over some garage bases.
One of the prick neighbours has said that there should be an epoxy/resin placed on the bases before the concrete is poured. I've googled the shit out of it for the past 5 minutes and have no fucking idea. Is this a thing, is it worth it?
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:07,
archived)
Rubbish, you'd pour it on top of the concrete if you wanted a polished dust free floor, not under it, it would just seep into the ground(
mongychops, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:11,
archived)
Right, I've worked out what the fuck they are on about, a Bonding AgentWouldn't this be in the fucking concrete they have ordered?
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:15,
archived)
if they're pouring fresh concrete on top of oldthen you need a kind of sealant/base layer to help it stick. But watered down PVA glue is good enough, you don't need resins.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:21,
archived)
I'd hope the builder would know about this sort of thing. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:14,
archived)
This is the correct answer(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:34,
archived)
stab him anyway, as a warning to any other neighbours (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:41,
archived)
Have you tried telling them to mind their own fucking business?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:21,
archived)
My face doesn't give that awayWhich is a shame as it is set to fuck you most days of the week
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:35,
archived)
your face wants to fuck Two Hats?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:40,
archived)
He is the go to face fuckerThe boy has a talent, let him shine.
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:44,
archived)
Ring their doorbell within earshot of a policemanand ask "WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT USING CANNABIS RESIN WHEN POURING CONCRETE?"
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 9:49,
archived)
Alright, beeter dot come slash Lynx. metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/?ito=social
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:58,
archived)
probably just misses his wife(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:01,
archived)
oh hey grrrywhat kind of grammar is going on when someone says something like "went shopping for trousers, i tried on a pair but they didn't fit".. it wouldn't sound right to say "it didn't fit" even though "a pair" is clearly singular
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:59,
archived)
Why can't you just say they didn't fit, a pair of trousers has been around since they were 2 separate legs tied together (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 23:23,
archived)
I missed that episode of Last of the Summer Wine.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:04,
archived)
He was probably just going too fast in a bath on wheels and couldn't stop in time. (
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:19,
archived)
Now that I can relate to.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:22,
archived)
I'm sure there was a perfectly innocent explanation.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:05,
archived)
Healthy old pervert, you've got to give him that, 80 and wanking in fields (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:11,
archived)
one arm up a cow and he can still crack one off, remarkable really(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:13,
archived)
<s> picks up the rice In the church where a wedding has been(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:22,
archived)
sticks it up nice in the arse where a farmer has been(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:34,
archived)
mooo - look out for the bovine paedo(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:39,
archived)
here is a new threadnot that you deserve it
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:36,
archived)
aw cheersyou spoil us grry
(
mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 20:48,
archived)
I'm like a motherfucking ambassador(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:10,
archived)
I hoped for proper boobs to fight back against this pc culture, I'm sure polish TV still has fit models in hotpants(
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:17,
archived)
d-w24.ppstatic.pl/g2/da/92/8e/288647_1385216248_0099_p.jpeg
Music video
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:29,
archived)
fuck would I know?good enough?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:42,
archived)
They've started showing Bodo over here grrry.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:41,
archived)
don't know his work, but I've seen his name aboutdied in a gulag
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:45,
archived)
That's a relief I'm nicety twatted and no longer give a fuck.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:02,
archived)
who have you pinched booze off this time?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:10,
archived)
I thought putting a bit of mdma in a joint would be ok, I forgot I haven't done it for years, now I feel all pilled up, twat (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:11,
archived)
I'm back from my night out now.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:35,
archived)
Yeah, and do you know what, Grrry? I'm comfortable with that.Right now I'm just kicking back with a couple of beers and some good music, savouring the thought that that's it's nearly the weekend.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:55,
archived)
smartI'm just sitting here dripping mucous and letting the toddler drool dry off my shoulder. Being single has a certain appeal.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 21:56,
archived)
I'd say you're taking a Zen approach to the situation, which almost always works out for the best.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 22:03,
archived)
Just like twohats knob, that thread was short and unsatisfying. How is your afternoon?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:20,
archived)
I had a little snooze and now it's nearly time to go home(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:25,
archived)
I want home(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34,
archived)
have a little snooze(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:37,
archived)
long and irritatingi want to go shopping
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:26,
archived)
Not badand getting better all the time
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:28,
archived)
All cool, my mate Andy has a shit load of Mandy so I'm off too get some soon (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:29,
archived)
It's going alreet, liek.Just spent the best part of an hour on a teleconference with an accountant abroad who's been tearing his hair out for years at a client of ours. Said client is far too senile to have any idea how to run a company or keep any sort of records, so there's a hole in his company's accounts for the past four years the size of Kent.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:30,
archived)
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:32,
archived)
Perfect (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34,
archived)
I've managed to streamline it(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:34,
archived)
To go with your streamllined knob?(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:41,
archived)
Um, if you like(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:42,
archived)
I wish I hadn't bothered :((
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:35,
archived)
don't let them grind you downalways follow the path of the blade
(
$$ ✅, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 16:45,
archived)
worlds strongest nob(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 17:15,
archived)
shit and rubbishbet you wish you hadn't asked now
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:31,
archived)
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.(
broadsword w⚓, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 19:41,
archived)
I'm sorry, but I don't see what any of this has to do with my knob?Alright?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:19,
archived)
Yeah , alright, I've supplied a link for people who don't know about ur nob youtu.be/gipn-ukO3mw
(
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:28,
archived)
ExcellentDo you know, they lost some of the original recorded dialogue from that film, so if you have a new copy of it (on bluray, or whatever) every now and again, the kids voices sound weird. They tried re-recording the bits that were missing, and it sounds terrible.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:30,
archived)
#InterestingIfTrue(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:31,
archived)
I've only seen on TV about 10 years ago, I didn't much care for it as a kid, dunno why (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:35,
archived)
Can you see what *grabs* THIS has to do with your knob? (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:33,
archived)
A real mystery for the ages. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:36,
archived)
your knob looks like it grew in a damp dark forest m8a Slav would steal it for soup
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:35,
archived)
I am sorry(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:50,
archived)
you don't have to apologise for anything, m8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 14:53,
archived)
everythinghere let me show you
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:03,
archived)
has someone turned it a quarter turn to the right and tapped it 3 times?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 15:06,
archived)
What? I didn't hear anything(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:44,
archived)
My new work trousers arrived. They've got a little pocket for kneepads. I'm well chuffed.
Edit: in before blow job joke
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:59,
archived)
Sounds like they'd be ideal for the roller disco. And blow jobs, obvs.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01,
archived)
I first read that as 'new york trousers'and was about to ask what that meant
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05,
archived)
It means you might want a new prescription. Or a brain scan.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06,
archived)
a little from column A, a little from column B(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07,
archived)
+ smoke Peter
*shrugs*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08,
archived)
Oh no, another case of hearing AIDS(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09,
archived)
Is that you there, Father Jack?(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:46,
archived)
Ardal O'Hanlon is an unfunny wanker (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:00,
archived)
Pretty sure My Hero was the best comedy series since Goodnight Sweetheart. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:02,
archived)
Sounds right. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05,
archived)
Not arguing with you there,and he didn't write any of the material for Father Ted.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:04,
archived)
Father Ted hasn't aged well. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05,
archived)
Well, no, he's dead. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07,
archived)
I watched a bit of his obstacle course show.It was alright.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:59,
archived)
haha, I've seen thatIt was just as daft as I thought it'd be. Americans are funny, aren't they. They take things so seriously.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06,
archived)
That was half the fun of it was all the shouting and growling at eachother.Steve also only seems to have that one outfit he's worn everyday since about 2002
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07,
archived)
You're absolutely rightbut then, I've been wearing the same outfit since the late 90's, so I'm not one to talk
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:09,
archived)
Up yours dickface(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:00,
archived)
They speak English in What? (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:52,
archived)
Great. I'll book my holiday there.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:03,
archived)
Dunno,but they speak it in Why.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:03,
archived)
I think the lyric was "in the butt"(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01,
archived)
lyric?I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with this ditty.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:10,
archived)
It's windy's favourite song you terrible troll(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:31,
archived)
You ought to watch your mouth(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:01,
archived)
There is a chain of stores in South Wales called What!Which is a stupid name for a store.
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:05,
archived)
Key words: Wales. Stupid.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:06,
archived)
Don't say shit like thatThey are lethal with a leek
(
keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:17,
archived)
There's a shop in Commercial Road called 'Smiggle'and I hate it.
Smiggle. Smiggle. Smiggle.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:07,
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Is it because it rhymes with jiggle and reminds you how fat you are?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08,
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Is it because it rhymes with niggle and reminds you how racist you are?(
broadsword w⚓, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:10,
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His favourite comedic actor is Rob RiggleBecause he is a racist. Probably.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:23,
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Is it because it rhymes with triggle and reminds you how trickle-down economics works?(
$$ ✅, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:12,
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I think it's this one(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:13,
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Smiggle is like crack for little girls. For about a year, after which they see it for the tat it is.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:16,
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is it because it's a combination of 'smile' and 'giggle'?because yes it fucking is. i saw it written on the wall there and suddenly hoped the whole city would be engulfed by the sea
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:08,
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There is a curry house in Limehouse called Chutney. Chutney!!!
lol
(, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
Wait, there's one in Oxford called Chutneys.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:11,
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Probably because it's the collective name for various sauces and pickles that originate from India,and is therefore as good a name as any for an Indian restaurant.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:19,
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Gentleman's Relish. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:47,
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Never be entirely idle; but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good.(
$$ ✅, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:25,
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Remember back in 2000, when it was enough to just take something already established, and add '2000' to it, to make a new thing?I want us to start doing that again
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:42,
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Two Thousand Hats? (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 11:48,
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I love the spanish version of that bitwww.youtube.com/watch?v=gefpFlrkf20
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$$ ✅, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:28,
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False friend lols"Tocaté" (Korean) = "OK, uh-huh"
"Tocaté (Spanish) = "Touch yourself"
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 12:36,
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pinch punch first day of the monthNo returns
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 7:12,
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I love February. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:09,
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strikey g sweaty men bum spaz mneurgh etc(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:15,
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Also, Chris sent me a photo of the mock up of the bike that tank was for.It's awful and I feel bad for helping him.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:22,
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is it some mad max bullshit rather than a restoration then?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:25,
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All the shit cafe racer bollocks done badly. Single seat, shit clip ons but hasn't moved the foot pegs because you can't due to the gear lever and kick being one lever, over long exhaust. I'm surprised it doesn't have exhaust wrap.
imgur.com/nqzXy4a
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32,
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this is why I left thanetEDIT: that's a special kind of special
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33,
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I don't have any strong feelings about the bike, but why are the colours so desaturated in that photo?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:21,
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I didn't take it.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:03,
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Just answer the question, Windy. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:13,
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You look a bit beardogram (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:03,
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We should firebomb thanet(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:23,
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OK, nobody reply to this thread because Grrrmachine said not to.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:10,
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Fishing club renewal just came in, bit bloody early this year (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:20,
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maybe it's all an elaborate set up so that someone can say"the early bird gets the worm" and you can all laugh cos people use worms as fishbait.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:27,
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Waiting list is 5 years, so I think they are trying to get the numbers in quickly, they are also dropping membership numbers (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:30,
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supporting friendly vaccinations?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32,
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ah shit that means it's nearly my wife's birthday(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:32,
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getting him/her anything nice?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:33,
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you'll all have to share the same present I'm afraid(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 8:41,
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I can wait till baselworld at the end of march if it helps (
mongychops, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:11,
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Get her one thing and say it's for both her birthday and Valentine's Day.(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:02,
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I don't think I have ever bought her anything for valentine's dayI'm not 14, see?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:06,
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lol, domestic violence! (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:18,
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I knew a spanish wifebeaterhe put the Ole into Domestic Violence
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:21,
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Pronunciation lols. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 9:37,
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+ Andersonthat one's for manolith
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:00,
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Excellentif you could sign *here*, and intial *here*, then everything will be nice and official.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:11,
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Sven-Ole Thorsen or GTFO. (
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:13,
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those are more like oscillations m8(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:05,
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so glad I dropped by(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:09,
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I'm the african dream, m8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:11,
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100% NOT racist(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:12,
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burst at the gunt more likenew thread time
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 Feb 2018, 10:38,
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Kick in the dick for being so quick.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 2 Feb 2018, 8:08,
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