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# they're tucked away safely at the mo

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:02, archived)
# STOP WATCHING ME MASTURBATE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:03, archived)
# They're not WATCHING
they're Royally Approving :)
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, archived)
# Liz is offering a hand?
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:22, archived)
# silk-covered for your pleasure
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:25, archived)
# ha ha dear me...
I fear we could all possibly get locked in the tower for this conversation...
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:27, archived)
# Chooose meee!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:28, archived)
# calling all guitar playing type folks
in a nutshell I need some help
I'm approaching another milestone age and now appear to want to learn to play the guitar.
I have owned an acoustic guitar for 20 years.
So far I have worked out which way up it goes.
It has 2 strings missing. I have ordered some new strings. I have also ordered some picks and Guitar for Dummies (yes I have)

Other than the fact that I clearly am a guitar-chump I have no other knowledge on this topic whatsoever. I don't know which string is which. I don't know one single chord. I can't read music (apparently not a problem). As Manuel said, 'I know nothing'

Any advice out there for me?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:08, archived)
# Turn volume to 11.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:11, archived)
# is the volume knob one of those 6 shiny ones at the thin end?
I love your pics - are they drawn and scanned?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:12, archived)
# Insert barrel of 357 into mouth...pull trigger.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:16, archived)
# I've checked ebay
they are all out
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:24, archived)
# O.K.,...watch Star Wars IV...
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:27, archived)
# they were useless without Cliff
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:30, archived)
# Dup-dup-dup-dup, do-da-dah, du-duh-la, du-duh-la, duh-duh..
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:01, archived)
# Great Quartet !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:08, archived)
# Best vests in the West.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:13, archived)
# Advice?
Don't eat yellow snow.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:13, archived)
# Is that a Shadows song
If so then that's a bit advanced for me - I can't even play Three Blind Mice yet
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:14, archived)
# How very dare you!
You have much to learn young jedi!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5Xeu3BEQk
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:24, archived)
# *learns*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# Guitar tends to have its own music notation.
Try looking up guitar lessons on youtube.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:15, archived)
# good advice!
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=learn+guitar&aq=f
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:16, archived)
# seek out bert weedon
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:17, archived)
# will I need a Ouija board?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:22, archived)
# no
it seems that he is still alive, even if he is 90
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:27, archived)
# Shit, you mean he's real?
All these years I thought he'd been made up by The Great God Terry of Pratchett.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# who do you think he based blert wheedown on?
soul music is a great book, i'm currently rereading unseen academicals
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:34, archived)
# I'll drop a gaz your way.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:18, archived)
# Drop one my way too. I can play like 3 songs. Badly.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:21, archived)
# i can play the violin
2 years it took me to learn how to play little brown jug.
still, got me out of double maths every week
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:35, archived)
# cheers sweetcheeks
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:22, archived)
# Tune the strings till they sound right . . . strum pick and boogie !
♪
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:21, archived)
# that hasn't been too succcessful a method so far
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:22, archived)
# To tune strings:
using pliers to get a good grip, tighten as much as possible till just before they snap.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:30, archived)
# Yes...yes....and test them with your teeth.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# yeh - I snapped one the other day
it nearly took my eye out
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:31, archived)
# Try this tuner . . . if you like . . .
www.guitarsocial.com/onlineguitartuner.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:36, archived)
# that has become the first bookmark in my new Guitar folder!
nice - thanks
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:56, archived)
# Right on !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:11, archived)
# I have a little magic box that tells me if my guitar is in tune or not.
And whether the string's too loose or tight.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:42, archived)
# I have ordered one
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:52, archived)
# Sell Guitar,
buy baritone ukulele. Same tuning as the four smallest strings on a guitar, but easier to learn and easily applied to the full size guitar.
(ShigTheNewt isn't funny. -_-, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:54, archived)
# I like your thinking
but not the getting-laughed-out-of-town bit of that idea
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 19:04, archived)
# Just waiting for the Mothership...
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:04, archived)
# Mothership knows best :)
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Elvis impersonator, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:08, archived)
# Phil in the square pot hole !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:19, archived)