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# I really don't understand why Scientists have to go to such lengths to try explain anything written in the Bible!
It would be like Darwin trying to prove that 2 fish could subdivide into a tasty meal for thousands. Well apart from having to wait a few years for the original 2 fish to spawn enough offspring who themselves spawn more offspring and so forth until everybody had at least enough for a sandwich. :D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:17, archived)
# I reckon the "miracles" were all analogies
to describe JC's public speaking abilities. e.g. he could take ordinary words and use them to great effect. Would explain the water into wine (ordinary words into quality speeches) and fish/loaves (using ordinary words to spiritually nourish thousands).

They loved analogies and parables in those times.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:30, archived)
# Nah, loads people had miracles ascribed to them in those days
Jesus wasn't the only messiah floating about back then either - Penn & Teller's The Bible is Bullshit has a great line about it: "Life of Brian is a more accurate depiction of the events than Mel Gibson's the Passion of the Christ".
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:36, archived)
# "You ARE the messiah, and I should know - I've followed a few!"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:41, archived)
# I love Penn & Teller
but conversely they have almost themselves become a thing of ridicule. "Oh well if Penn and Teller say it's bullshit it has to be bullshit, right?"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:42, archived)
# They've said the last Bullshit! will be about Bullshit! itself
and it'll be all about why Bullshit! is Bullshit!

In the meantime, it's still head and shoulders above most tv
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:50, archived)
# Absolutely, like I said I love them. At least what they say makes rational sense.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:56, archived)
# Yeah I'd go with that explanation, if I was a believer that is.
The problem with the Bible is those who take it too literally, as a general guide to social behaviour in societies it's not bad but if taken too literally it becomes a farcical ideology of extremism.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:39, archived)
# You know, people say this
and generally they're the people happy to ignore massive swathes of hte Bible. Either it is or it isn't - or if we're not believers we can feel free to cherry-pick the few bits that *are*. Enormous amounts of the Bible are boring twaddle filled with an historically-inaccurate account of the founding and running of ancient Israel interspersed with tedious "prophecies" that are either so vague as to be meaningless, not actually prophecies at all, or conveniently written down a few hundred years after the events they prophecy (Isaiah, I'm looking at you.) Amongst the guides to social behaviour are wonderful recommendations about murdering your enemy and stealing his woman (but if you keep her for a year you have to marry her; if you only keep her for six months you can kick her out of the tent to die in the shit though) and the entertaining valuation of Jewish life where women are worth significantly less than men are. Then you move into the New Testament and find a mixture of Jesus occasionally saying something useful, then blowing his own trumpet, then blowing his own trumpet, then listening to others blowing his trumpet for him while he nods approvingly and says "Damn right, I *am* the Son of God", then saying he's not come for peace but to start wars, then contradicting himself once or twice, then dying. Followed by Paul's insane misogynist ramblings.

Great guide to social behaviour, that one.

Sorry, in a bad mood :(
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:58, archived)
# Would you like a hug?
the New Testament is mostly Buddhism mixed in with a bit of Judaism and possibly Druidism, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 10:04, archived)
# Buddhism?
Does the fat man know about this?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 11:47, archived)
# well
some (paul) of the new testament is simple misogyny and some (revelation) seems to be the result of a bad trip. but otherwise, yeah, why not?



edit: also, i'd love a hug.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 12:12, archived)
# Wow I'm so glad strikethrough came to the rescue!
anybody would think I endorse the bible.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 10:10, archived)
# well i thought it better than just deleting it
once it's been said and out there and all that, no matter how stupid or irrelevant.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 12:11, archived)
# All theories about the origins of the universe suffer from infinite regression.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 10:10, archived)
# Entirely this.
I like the idea that aliense visited us and gave us all this knowledge about life, the universe and everything, and we translated it into our words, which are in turn over time translating, but some people prefer the original words.

A bit like the difference between Romeo & Juliet and West Side Story or summat*.

*Yes I'm shit at anomalies as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:43, archived)
# The Oannes actually gave us civilisation
All hail the fish-people aliens!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:51, archived)
# all religous books are lies to control the masses through fear
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:53, archived)
# I would agree with this
religion is the proto-politics.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:57, archived)