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# Here is a suggestion that I found on the interweb today, it's by me but I have no memory of it
Barry Manilow has fallen on hard times and has been employed as the keel of a boat. It wasn’t going too badly until one day, sailing through the Indian ocean, an entire pod of dolphins appears and repeatedly rape him in the face.

The ship’s captain, Inglebert Humperdink looks on shaking his head and fiddling with his nads.

edit/ it's on the ginger fuhrer's site
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:14, archived)
# this is something someone subsequently posted on the same site, they clearly know me
I’d like Mr. Biffo to draw troubled, multi-suggestion-haver Wasp Box. I see him as an early 30′s male whose average degree in an oversubscribed subject from an uheralded university has resulted in him holding a poorly paid office job that he believes he’s too good for while accepting that the combination of his lack of courage and proclivity for dawdling on the internet for hours a day almost certainly means he will not achieve more. He converses with his colleagues almost exclusively ironically and struggles to make eye contact with any female between the ages of 12 and 55. When people struggle to understand his odd speech patterns and obscure references, he rolls his eyes then sneers inwardly as if to convince himself he’s really enjoyed confusing that person, to whom he (wrongly) feels superior. He lives with his parents and is embarassed by this. His relationship with them is akin to that of a mouthy but vulnerable 16 year-old. He has typed the word ‘rape’ into a Google image search on more than one occasion. His masturbation-to-sex ratio stands somewhere in the vicinity of 500-1.

Not that Mr. Biffo should let this affect his creative process of course!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:15, archived)
# hahahahahahaa
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:17, archived)
# my masturbation to sex ratio is about 100,000 to 1.
And I've fucked a whole lot of women.*

Also, it looks as if somebody is internetmad with you.


* - irony
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:18, archived)
# the wierd thing is, I've just done a back of a fag packet calculation
and my actual ration comes out around 440-1, so he was pretty close. Although that doesn't really factor in how much I wanked when a teenager.

I clearly don't wank enough
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 27 May 2011, 16:13, archived)
# Was that from your comedy account?
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Fri 27 May 2011, 15:21, archived)
# I'm already someone else's comedy account
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 27 May 2011, 16:16, archived)