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# it makes me spend the day sunbathing
mostly because my chances of drawing anything this awesome are about the same as my chances of growing celery out of my nipples
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:47, archived)
# I can't really go out in the sun; I burn up way too easily.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:50, archived)
# i used to burn all the time
but years of burning and peeling have finally paid off!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 17:55, archived)
# It's not even just that.
When I tan I don't go brown, I go a lurid orange colour. Not pleasant at all :/
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:12, archived)
# ah, you suffer from Dickinsonitis
a very serious condition. however, if it's caught and treated in the early Winton stage, it is often curable.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:15, archived)
# Sheeeeit.
Better go to't doctor's about it. I'm too young to be selling myself out on crappy TV shows.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:28, archived)
# hurry, there's still time!
if you feel the urge to say such things as "cheap as chips" or "bobby dazzler", you may need a ronsealectomy
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:31, archived)
# Sounds painful yet self-explanatory.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:42, archived)
# oh, it is
it is.......
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:45, archived)
# Film yourself bouncing around and compo it
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:21, archived)
# fuck the compo
if we both filmed ourselves bouncing around together, we could make a FORTUNE
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:26, archived)
# No good, I haven't tanned in years; I'm sort of pale blue now.
Even then I've already compo'd, what, 3 this week?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:29, archived)
# Celery nipples are all the rage in Paris and Milan etc
But you have to have Primula cheese n chive minge to compliment the nips.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:00, archived)
# oh, great
give me another unobtainable goal to dream of!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:01, archived)
# Unobtainable? Codswallop!
Just refrain from washing your minge for 26 days*.

*This is an exact science
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:04, archived)
# even the thought of that is making me cringe
getting all squeaky clean is far too pleasurable
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:06, archived)