They can kiss my arse.
If it doesn't go on eBay, and if it's big enough, it'll make a lovely little space den.
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Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:04,
archived)
I'd just look all innocent
"No, Mr FBI, I didn't see a satellite fall in my garden! That smoking crater? I did that last night. I, err, was playing around with Semtex."
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Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:07,
archived)
"Had a bit of a dodgy vindaloo. That used to be an outhouse."
If that fails, I'll just claim 'Finders keepers'.
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Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:11,
archived)
Hmmm. I'd go for the Semtex in the toilet
"I had a septic tank down there. It was all a bit blocked so I dropped in some plastic explosive."
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Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:13,
archived)
"Yes I know it's been a decade or two since the ceasefire...
...but it was taking up room in the attic."
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Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:19,
archived)