I liked the bit where he says to Batman
'You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job'.( , Tue 1 Jan 2013, 18:03, archived)
No, that was in the Only Fools and Horses special.
I did like his delivery when he said "At one hundred yards, volley fire present! Aim! FIRE!" in The Italian Job.( , Tue 1 Jan 2013, 18:08, archived)
and then he calls Captain Kirk a 'douchebag'
My favourite is when he tells batman that the batmobile isn't subtle enough and lends him his honda civic instead.
But he gets fucked off his face on crystal meth and crashes it into some prostitutes and Alfred dryly remarks "that's hardly very subtle sir"( , Thu 3 Jan 2013, 2:19, archived)