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[challenge entry] Holy Moses!


Well, he liberated the Jews from Egypt...

From the Monuments that should exist challenge. See all 280 entries (closed)

(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:52, archived)
# nah, he's evil
he did it on purpose to send them to germany
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:53, archived)
# Funny you should say that.
I was going to leave the torch out, but that had the unexpected ironic effect of making him do a Nazi salute.

Was Moses a Nazi?

Probably not, to be honest,
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:55, archived)
# The irony is
that Moses never even reached the Promised Land.
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:01, archived)
# Yes! He'd been a naughty boy
and dropped dead just as they were coming up to the Jordan.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:20, archived)
# He'd been playing
with his snake staff - naughty boy!
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:32, archived)
# but he did break
one of the tablets containing the 15 commandments.

Got away with it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:54, archived)
# hehe
Mel Brookes ref
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:54, archived)
# Was it Mel Brooks?
for some reason I thought it was Stanley Baxter.
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:56, archived)
# Bible ref.
He broke them both I think, but it was ok in the end, because God made him another set.

EDIT:

Exodus 34:1
"And the LORD said unto Moses, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest."
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:57, archived)
# god
is ridiculous
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:01, archived)
# Controversial
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:05, archived)
# My thoughts precisely...
bollocks, very sensitive, so where oes he put them? Outside at knee height. What a fool!
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:05, archived)
# Your knees
are in a funny place.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:07, archived)
# Or Roman is
A very tall girl...

Or other person missing bollocks.
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:11, archived)
# I am
a chap, and my point was that knees can easily be manouvered into the bollock position - result being great pain!
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:14, archived)
# I'm sure
human science would have discovered a way to cause pain to another's testicles no matter where God had chosen to locate them.

Alternatively, of course, you can believe that evolution put them in a stupid place...
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:22, archived)
# I prefer to believe
the whole thing is a dream and I am really a lizard sat on a rock somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:32, archived)
# Aaaaaaah!
So God didn't use his omnipotence to make some more. He got poor old septegenarian Moses to carve another set.
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:05, archived)
# My personal interpretation
is that he broke the commandments rather that the tablets.
Let's face it - who hasn't coveted?
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:07, archived)
# Well...
I should think at his age, Moses might covet his neighbour's ass, but there wasn't a lot he could do about it.

Unless he had some of the viagra mentioned below.
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:09, archived)
# Unfortunately
my neighbour isn't that good looking
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:15, archived)
# Maybe he did
but he broke the tablets as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:10, archived)
# I don't think
he was quite that old at the time.

Although of course, he was eventually. And lived to 120.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:12, archived)
# You're right
He was older.

Exodus 7:7 "At the time when they spoke to the king, Moses was 80 years old, and Aaron was 83"

And we don't even finish the plagues until Exodus 12!
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:24, archived)
# And
He had a stutter.

How much less Charlton Heston can we get?

edit: Well, alright all I can say for sure is that he was no good at public speaking, which is why he got Aaron to do it for him. But I'm sure I remember hearing or reading somewhere that he had a stutter.
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:25, archived)
# yes
he had a stutter. I believe from putting a hot coal in his mouth as a child.
(Lazystudent, Mon 31 May 2004, 9:56, archived)
# way older
cos that was quite some time after the plagues...
(Lazystudent, Mon 31 May 2004, 9:58, archived)
# No
Mel Brookes, Histry of the World part 1

"Behold! I bring you the 15...
CRASH
10! Commandments!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:57, archived)
# I bow to your
superior wisdom on this matter.

Although it was Dave Allen who had the voice activated house that did everything, then said, "Well bugger me!"
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Sun 30 May 2004, 3:00, archived)
# haha
you've seen it too...
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:55, archived)
# It was the one with
Thou shalt not wear little round hats and grow your sideburn down to your shoulder. Yet the adultry one stayed in. Tough break.
(I helped save b3ta! Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:56, archived)
# Well it was alright,
God could knock him up another one easy. One of the advantages of being omnipotent.
(greendwarf, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:57, archived)
# You can get little blue
tablets to help with that nowadays.
(I helped save b3ta! Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:57, archived)
# Mind
milk
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:58, archived)
# Agreed
(I helped save b3ta! Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:59, archived)
# God isn't omnipotent any more
not since he invented viagra
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:58, archived)
# pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Sun 30 May 2004, 2:59, archived)