b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » What if the things grown-ups tell kids were true? » Message 4872030

[challenge entry] Santa can see you being naughty!

From the What if the things grown-ups tell kids were true? challenge. See all 270 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:20, archived)
# santa should be asleep
it's july
(I helped save b3ta! eponymous Oh!, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:21, archived)
# does He hibernate?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:23, archived)
# Yes
With snowmen
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:24, archived)
# yes, just like a bear, or a mollusk.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:24, archived)
# You left out
The snowmen :(
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:25, archived)
# snowmen hibernate?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:26, archived)
# yes, just like sant, bears, or mollusk.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:28, archived)
# Tut
Lark at him
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:30, archived)
# *larks at Dr Dyslexia*
*feels dirty and ashamed*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:37, archived)
# He sleeps
underneath a pile of magazines stolen from the waiting rooms of dentists and hairdressers for about 300 days.

Then he gets up, spends a month in the shower and is ready for all the fun and frolics of December! He can also spend up to two weeks eating breakfast and can munch through roughly 3.7 trillion tons of toast during this time! Santa is insane and likes to hum "Duran Duran" songs to himself while he eats!
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:27, archived)
# arf!
and how do you know all this?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:27, archived)
# Because
...I AM SANTA!*

*no I'm not
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:28, archived)
# *reads as "i am SATAN"
*hides under the stairs and quivers in a little nervous ball, a bit like a worried hamster*
(I helped save b3ta! eponymous Oh!, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:33, archived)
# *locks door*
*ransacks biscuit barrel*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:39, archived)
# Well
I'd be a nice SATAN though, all cuddly and mental. And I'd make you biscuits that contained so much chocolate they would have to
be legally classified as EVILTM
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:40, archived)
# *renounces religion*

*worships the Neville*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:43, archived)
# *follows suit*
*Suit wanders off cliff as it has no eyes*

*dies*
(I helped save b3ta! eponymous Oh!, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:54, archived)
# Our first martyr!
huzzah!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 2:00, archived)
# He is doing something very naughty.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:21, archived)
# santa's a cunt.
tell your friends.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:22, archived)
# I figure he'd be bored of me being naughty by now
twice a day every day since I was 13.
(I helped save b3ta! gaijintendo Regular Member, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:22, archived)
# Haha
.
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:25, archived)
# cheaper then buying whitewash
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:25, archived)
# and whitewash is poisonous
(I helped save b3ta! gaijintendo Regular Member, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:31, archived)
# uh-oh
*puts down pintglass*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 1:36, archived)
# paedo
phile
(I helped save b3ta! Vintage The badgers took my sanity... and my TV, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 2:53, archived)