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# I have touched ham, it's true
Why, I touched some ham only two days ago.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:25, archived)
# I touched some today.
It was jamon serrano and it was delicious. I also ate it, which is how I know about the deliciousness.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:26, archived)
# Tesco finest ham, over £2 for four slices
Thank fuck it was a present from the mother in law (ham, bagels and mangoes- dotty as fuck she is)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:27, archived)
# You can get jamon serrano
from Tesco too. It's a bit pricey but is lovely to put in your mouth and whatnot.
You can eat it on its own or with some lovely green olives or something. Yum.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:30, archived)
# Olives can fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:32, archived)
# i concur
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:35, archived)
# As long as they fuck off into my gaping maw
I don't mind

YUM!
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:39, archived)
# You can have my olives if we ever have pizza.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:44, archived)
# Oh dear god I love that stuff
Spanish meat in general floats my boat!
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:33, archived)
# Oo-er missus.
Nudge-nudge, wink wink. Say no more.

/Howerd-Python blog
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:45, archived)
# Beaten, I touched ham earlier.
And I'm touching it with my insides now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:26, archived)
# The index finger on my right hand
has to be in constant contact with ham, or else I asplode. 158% of the fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:30, archived)
# I put it to you, Mr The Wondercat, that that is a false allegation.
*turns to judge* I therefore recommend, your honour, a minimum sentence of 25 years, with the minimum time served being 15 years.

*sits down and adjusts wig*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:33, archived)
# But... but...
They'll eat me alive in there!!!
I'm not built for prison, I have a mild aversion to bum-rape.
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:38, archived)
# Barristers can't suggest sentences.
That's what the judge is for.

Silly boy.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:39, archived)
# GIRL. SILLY GIRL.
And judges can also fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:54, archived)
# Are you sure you're a girl?
You can never be sure these days.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 16:57, archived)
# I've got an innie.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Oct 2006, 17:02, archived)