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[challenge entry] quick
first post.

From the If Ads Told The Truth challenge. See all 454 entries (closed)

(Erythrocyte, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:18, archived)
# I love walking round Ikea looking happy.
Really pisses the miserable bastards argueing over how many mugs they really need.
(Woody999, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:20, archived)
# bet the mugs have stupid names
"Spunker mugs"

ro something
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:22, archived)
#
Spunkbúcket
(Woody999, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:22, archived)
# with a hole in it
being carried on the head of jeanette crankie

and all the spunk is leaking out of the bucket and dribbling down her face, and a bunch of japanese midgets are doing kamikaze bukkake nosedives on top of her from a low flying B52, and they are all on fire, floating gently down to earth where they detonate with a mighty splat of guts, spunking continually
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:25, archived)
# oh
you've been to ikea Lakeside then.
I actually rather love it because they make superking beds I can afford.
(I helped save b3ta! moogy boobles, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:41, archived)
# they sell the best cider there
Kobbarberg, its ace, I love the pear flavoured ones. Everyone else walks out with tables and flat packed things I have Crates of Cider.
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:22, archived)
# kopparberg?
that stuff is wank...

strongbow is where the cider scene is at!!
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:25, archived)
# Not a fan of cider at all
other than this Kopparberg stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:27, archived)
# i thought
it tasted a bit watery

is it wrong for a 17 year old to be reviewing cider?

NOT a binger fyi
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:29, archived)
# yes it is
now go and do your homework or there will be no white lightning for you me lad.
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:32, archived)
# hahahaha
i laugh, but you're right, i should be revising for a-levels

fuckittt, i can always resit ;)
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:33, archived)
# it is when you use strongbow
as your benchmark.
(I helped save b3ta! lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:41, archived)
# =D
any suggestions as to anything else i should use?
(as a benchmark)

im portraying myself as a right alcohlic now, i bet...

not even into drinking atm for some absurd reason
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:43, archived)
# I didnt start drinking 'til I was 18, really
never did the whole 'getting wankered in the park' thing.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 19:22, archived)
# don't have the blackcurrant though
it tastes of parma violets.

Does ikea sell the rubbish, canned English brewed Kopparberg or the lovely, bottled Swedish variety?
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:30, archived)
# unfortunately only seen the canned so far
but my local does the bottles
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:31, archived)
# i've had the stuff outta a bottle
from a pub, not ikea
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:33, archived)
# for some reason we brits don't brew it nearly as flavourful as the swedes
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:34, archived)
# s'like guiness then innit?
not that i like that nasty shit...
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:36, archived)
# Bad stout is still miles better
than a good lager
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:39, archived)
# i dunno...
lager is bearable, if theres not much of it, or its mixed with lots of cider

once im pissed tho, i dont care what i drink, as long as it extends the effects =D
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:40, archived)
# kopparberg do the greatest drink for people who have to drive
You can drink fuckloads of the stuff, unlike coke which makes your insides rot after 4 pints
(I helped save b3ta! The man with the screaming brain has nothing but total respect for Annie Lennox, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:33, archived)
# IKEA is shite
and full of gay couples shopping holding hands.
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:25, archived)
# so not all bad then
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:26, archived)
# High
fives!
(ACuntLikeYou I'm hated for loving, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:31, archived)
# same description I'd give to b3ta actually...
(I helped save b3ta! Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:36, archived)
# except they're bumming each other instead of holding hands
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:43, archived)
# loverly!
(ACuntLikeYou I'm hated for loving, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:31, archived)
# Ikea CAN be fun!
Middle Aged Mutant Ninja Turtle!
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:38, archived)
# is this you
pretending to be a tortoise?
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:41, archived)
# No!
A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, obviously!
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Fri 6 Apr 2007, 18:43, archived)