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# don't do it.
i'm destined to stab the pope.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:49, archived)
# Fuck it.
I'll pardon you. You won't even go to hell, and you can still collect $200 if you pass 'Go'.

(Though I may have to take the knife from you and tap you on the forehead with the handle a few times first to let you know how disasterous this decision could have been.)
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:52, archived)
# i don't want to be pardoned, i want to kill the pope.
that's how i want to die: shot to death by the vatican guard while i stab the pope through the heart with a sharpened crucifix.

it's my destiny, man.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 3:55, archived)
# Well get on with it, then.
I'll wait 'till you finish off the current one, then I'll step in and resurrect you while making balloon animals or something to the delight of the peons.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:01, archived)
# i don't want to kill this one.
he's too obviously evil, it'll look like an inside job.

the balloon animals are a nice touch, though.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:04, archived)
# You could kill Al Gore?
He invented Catholicism.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:07, archived)
# i can kill anyone.
i have a toxic personality.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:09, archived)
# Really? And your whites practically sparkle!
However do you keep them so clean?
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:11, archived)
# i wash them in the tears of disappointed children.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:15, archived)
# They'll get used to their prayers not getting answered
once I'm in power. I'm going to get to work on my new rubber stamp:

 RETURN TO
V A T I C A N
   SENDER
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:19, archived)
# 'return to vatican' would be a great rubber stamp to have.
you'd confuse everyone at work and few letter carriers would refuse to deliver them even without stamps.
(, Mon 1 Oct 2007, 4:24, archived)