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# *Pounces
I'VE GOT A CRUMPET!
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:18, archived)
# crumpets should be bigger than they are
it's a simple fact.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# At least the size of a baking tray.
Each.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# *is pounced upon*
YES YOU HAVE FOR I AM ONE.

Also please give me some of your lovely crumpet. Is it buttery and warm?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# Then i have three crumpets,
although strictly one and 2/3 cos i ate one and most of another
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:20, archived)
# Ohhhh please.
I'll settle for a pikelet.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# pikelet?
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# Sort of like a crumpet
except shaped a bit like a twinkie. Or almond finger.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:28, archived)
# i see
well i ate them all now
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Naughty, you're going to be in trouble.
Oh, did you leave some for lady?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# only all the hot ones i'd toasted
there's plenty in the cupboard
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# why are girls referred to as "crumpet"?
I have looked at vaginas and breasts at different angles, but none seem to look like crumpets.

Is it just the warm butteriness?

Edit: thank you for clarifying things for me. I'm going to go with the "holes" explanation as I find it most humourous.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:21, archived)
# Because the best bit about both is the holes.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:22, archived)
# We like eating them!




(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:22, archived)
# Because they're warm and soft and nice to eat?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# Warm, buttery niceness.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# Yes and slight saltyness
also what's good about crumpets is the little holes. so, yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# jynx
EVERYONE
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# *licks arm*
having just done that I can safely say I taste of cocoa butter.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:24, archived)
# nom nom nom
I sort of want another one, but the missus loves them and we'll run out if i nosh them all now. Cruel cruel bakery fate
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
# Aye, I wouldn't eat all of them.
Wrath would ensue, I imagine.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# yeah
not after the whole chocolate biscuit episode last week.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# Hahaha you blesspot.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# She beats me with a bag of oranges so the bruises don't show
actually it was worse than that, she just looked sad and disappointed.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:45, archived)
# Oooooooh harsh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:50, archived)
# fair
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:53, archived)
# You need to go shopping and then gorge.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# am unemployed
cannot afford extra goodies
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# because they're both lovely when smothered in Marmite
/has said too much
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
# Incorrect
smearing marmite or any other brown subtance around the genitals or anus has the unfortunate effect of making it look like your partner has shit themselves.

So I've heard......

EDIT: I got the wrong end of the stick here but that piece of information still stands so, meh...
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:28, archived)
# do it in the dark then
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# I have too
I'm fucking ugly
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:30, archived)
# welcome to B3ta
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:30, archived)
# group hug
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:31, archived)
# AHEM.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Ha!
I was just joshing, I'm average but I make up for it by being really good in bed. I have a piece of paper from a French woman that says so.
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# babelfish is shit
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# especially with capers
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# a French Letter?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:45, archived)
# present company excluded, of course
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# That's better.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# *still riding into the sunset, Bernie Clifton-style*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:44, archived)
# :D
You keep going, you might get there by the time sunset kicks in.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Unfortunate?
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# I was talking about all over,
They lie there like a giant Twiglet. What's not to like about that?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Yeah I got that on the second reading
and I agree, that would be good!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:30, archived)
# I used to use white chocolate
but had to stop when she kept saying 'The Milky bars are on me'!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:31, archived)
# pfft
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# sexy sexy sexy
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:35, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:30, archived)
# "genitals or anus"
But which is better? There's only one way to find out....
(I helped save b3ta! Ysol ab abl blap, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 15:44, archived)
# Marm-fucking-mite?
You're sick dude!
!SICK!
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Marmite is wonderful.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# strumpet / crumpet!
/cockernee blog.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# thanks for clarifying
now what the fuck does "strumpet" actually mean?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I always think it's the same thing as a wench.
Curvaceous, mischievous young woman. Landlord's daughter *sings* etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:39, archived)
# *rubs thighs
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:41, archived)
# I bet I'm wrong.
It's always what it's meant to me though. But she's got to be about a size 14 or over, you can't have a thin strumpet.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# i will burst if there's anymore talk of buxomness
hush
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Buxom's an ace word.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:47, archived)
#
strumpet
c.1327, of uncertain origin. One theory connects it with L. stuprata, fem. pp. of stuprare "have illicit sexual relations with," or L.L. strupum "dishonor, violation." Others suggest M.Du. strompe "a stocking," or strompen "to stride, to stalk" (as a prostitute might a customer). The major sources don't seem to give much preference to any of these. Weekley notes "Gregory's Chronicle (c.1450) has streppett in same sense." In 18c.-early 19c., often abbreviated as strum and also used as a v., which led to some odd dictionary entries:

TO STRUM: to have carnal knowledge of a woman, also to play badly on the harpsichord or any other stringed instrument. [Capt. Francis Grose, "A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue," 1796]

(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:46, archived)
# haha
so "slag" in layman's terms.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:53, archived)
# Ah
now you have it sir!
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:56, archived)