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# Jesus would use it
to feed all the hungry people what are milling about the place, all hungry like.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 22:16, archived)
# beards aren't the tastiest food
turning the 1 beard into food for 15,000 wouldn't be the greatest miracle because the 15,000 would go

"uergh, what do you call this, jesus?" and then spend ten minutes pawing at their tongues to get the hair off it.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 22:18, archived)
# Jesus would just stand
there laughing his moist, soundless laugh
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 22:24, archived)
# The last you'd see of him
would be his face thrown back in mirth as the waves of hair washed over him.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 22:27, archived)
# Jesus the greatest superhero of all.
With his special power of making some loaves and fish feed more people than they could reasonably be thought to feed. Nice one Jesus, where's that cure for cancer?
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 22:26, archived)