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[challenge entry] Queera Knightley anyone?

From the Celebrity Mutants challenge. See all 450 entries (closed)

(StreetSpirit, Tue 20 May 2008, 8:55, archived)
# I'll take the bottom half thanks
:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 20 May 2008, 8:59, archived)
# *takes top half*
Hooray!

*does sexing*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:09, archived)
# Not into skull fucking then?:P
'ningles all. I just discovered, as I don't normally have to send the word 'cock' by text. That on predictive anal appears before cock does!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:14, archived)
# 'cor!
What brand of phone do you have?

Mine's been sanitised to buggery and back.

No rude, or even slightly rude words whatsoever.

I had to add them all manualy.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 20 May 2008, 9:16, archived)
# My one had it as standard
Just bought it from a Carphone Warehouse on Old Compton Street.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:19, archived)
# Well it's no bloody wonder then is it?
'ning!
/Also, I asked my mate if he wanted to come out for a RIOT instead of a PINT
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:36, archived)
# Want to in to the sub for a riot?
I will try and sulk the carnage if she's cycle
(I helped save b3ta! TY&GN, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:40, archived)
# I've done worse
I used to have a huge crush on this Japanese girl years ago. We we're having a cheese and wine night at my shared flat and I thought I'd invite her as she wasn't that aux faux with English customs so I texted her to see if she wanted to come.
I never heard from her again and it was only when I was clearing out my messages that I realised I'd invited her to a cheese and wind night!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:46, archived)
# cheese and wind?
I'd have been straight there
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:47, archived)
# A couple of bottles of wine
Then trying to pull off a three part harmony.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:53, archived)
# I know what that tells me!
:P

'ning ghostie!
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:17, archived)
# That I should stop texting you?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:20, archived)
# Immediatley, yes!
The other half is catching on.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:22, archived)
# Catching on what?
Have you tried just pushing harder?:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:23, archived)
# HAhaha
and taking the prince albert out.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:26, archived)
# cor she's filled out a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:10, archived)
# meh
still got no tits at all, it'd be like shagging a teenage boy
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:12, archived)
# with a fanny
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:13, archived)
# well quite
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:14, archived)
# Would that make her a gentleman girl?
Being the opposite of a lady boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 20 May 2008, 9:17, archived)
# every holes a winner
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:25, archived)
# yer
too plummy and bony for me

pretty girl an all that, but HAVE A PIE OR SOMETHING
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:16, archived)
# aye
Not sexy when you can get distracted counting the ribs during shagging
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:17, archived)
# Bollocks.
She's too fat.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:38, archived)
# *skullfucks*
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:22, archived)
# blimey!
top shoppage, have a click!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 20 May 2008, 9:22, archived)