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# Old Monkey Balls, 2:30 at Cheltenham
Monster, monster.

Woo as usual, Mister Prodge.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:44, archived)
# *handseats*
Oi oi Cap'n!
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Hello Prof, how goes your fine self?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# I'm pretty fine, ashally.
How're you, you lovely thing?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:48, archived)
# Taking a wee breakette from the grindstone
in order to bury my nose in something much more appealing.

In a non-Winehouse fashion, of course.

How's the lady?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)
# just seen your new pic on your profile
is that you???
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:56, archived)
# Hah, no. I wish.
That's Masuimi Max's lovely bottom. It's good she's got it, because she's got a face like someone allergic to having a face.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:58, archived)
# *Captain Metaphor grants you to Golden Similie Points*
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:00, archived)
# 'Sliding into her was like sliding into some exquisite oil'
My favouritest simile ever. Stephen King, IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:01, archived)
# christ that awful
my favouritest metaphor is from blackadder ""This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'This Is a Large Crisis.'"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:07, archived)
# It's brilliant, not awful. It has the power to
make horny and a little bit sick. Like all the best things in life.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:08, archived)
# stephen king is a bloody awful writer in general
though i will concede him the dark tower series and some short stories. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO WRITE 700 PAGES THEN FORGET YOU HAVE TO WRITE AN ENDING?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:11, archived)
# I like a few books of his
mindless escapism has it's place, that's for sure.

I've not seen the film of IT, but I have seen Salems Lot, Misery and Pet Semetary.

The kid in PS is brilliant, I love it when he does his 'evil face'.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:13, archived)
# i've not seen a great deal of them
if i want horror i'm a wes craven, george a. romero and sam raimi fan all the way
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:18, archived)
# You don't watch them to be scared
well, I don't. I don't watch films to be scared full stop, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:23, archived)
# this is a given
i just enjoy this lots sense of humour
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:26, archived)
# My favourite has to be:
"Making love to him was like having a wardrobe fall on top of you, when someone has left the key in the lock."
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:08, archived)
# "baldrick your brain is like that of newt, shrunken to one eighth of its original size by a revolutionary new shrinking process.
then cut in half"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:12, archived)
# "This drive allowed ships to grow to the size of planets
and galaxies to shrink down to the size of peas which were shrunk down to the size of ants."

I was quite pleased by the pointlessness of the peas shrunk to the size of ants part.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:16, archived)
# She's grand, currently at home fuming over some questionnaires from w*rk I believe
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Bless her, give her my love
and a lovely big squeeze. Then she has to do it back to you. Then you go 'Oh what a lovely tea party'.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:00, archived)
# YES!
noon Cap.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Noon sir.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# hehe :)
lo Cap'n
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# *doffs tricorner*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:48, archived)
# Captaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
were exaclty the hell have you been, do you know what time it is young lady?

Your father and i have been up all night worrying. How could you do that to us, don't you love us anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:50, archived)
# Which father?
The massive big hard one isn't worried, he never is. He does want his strimmer back though.

I've been busy, shall we say.

How's yourself? And your lovely better half?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:52, archived)
# i dunno, gstq probably.
Busy, how intriguing. Were you tied up in a dungeon again?

I am fine and so is my lady. I tried to culture her up with a bit of the ol' Mozart yesterday, it was a catastrophe. Lessons were learned.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Culcha?
Richard Strauss. Give him a try.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:59, archived)
# No, it's a dead end.
sleeping dogs etc.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:00, archived)
# and Chinglishmen go out in the midday bun.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:02, archived)
# are you bleeding?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 14:59, archived)
# no, we made up in the end.
moistly
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:00, archived)
# try something like Elgar or Wagner
they're fairly good beginners classical



and i'm related to one of them
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:02, archived)
# WAGNERLULZ
"Now darling, i know you didn't enjoy the last one, but we're going to sit down and watch the whole of the ring-cycle in one sitting."

If you don't like the Magic Flute you will probably never like any classical music. It's accessible, funny and amazing.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:04, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:08, archived)