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# ouch!
I've got a bruised foot, if that helps.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:26, archived)
# I have a bruise about the size of a tennis ball on my knee.
I'm hoping it'll develop into some interesting colours for me to scare people with.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:27, archived)
# JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST
it's like the dawn of the dead in here - I'm staying away from you lot in case what you have is contractable
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:29, archived)
# I have the remains of a burn on my stomach as well.
If you're going to cook in your pants and are using a pan that's come out of the oven, be fucking careful.
As an added bonus, I headbutted the extractor hood as I recoiled.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, archived)
# you are no longer allowed to cook without adult supervision
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:32, archived)
# My girlfriend was there,
but her laughing didn't really help.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I meant so that someone could record it and
put it on youtube... because I'm THAT funny!
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:36, archived)
# I fell down and grazed my knee last week
it's still a bit pink.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:33, archived)
# See a doctor, you maniac.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I'm going to have to wrap you all up in
bubble wrap and make you wear crash helmets in the super market... you're all too fragile!
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:35, archived)
# cor!
I normally have to pay 'professional' ladies for that kind of treatment...

(does anyone actually say 'Cor!' outside of the pages of The Beano?)
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:43, archived)
# I do :)
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Hurrah for you!
It's the most apt expression to use when confronted with a mountain of mashed potato with sausages poked in it, I find.
(, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:10, archived)