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# today I feel like

biggerness
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:12, archived)
# At first glance I though that was a testicle
not a heart...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:14, archived)
# surely
that looks nothing like a testicle??
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:16, archived)
# Really?
That's me off to the doctor's then...

;)

I only glanced at it out of the corner of my eye, honest.
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:17, archived)
# I'd be glad
to give you my professional opinion..
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:18, archived)
# Don't tempt me...

/off to boot up the scanner
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:19, archived)
# argh!
I now have the image of that bloke on here who squashes food in his scanner. until it bursts.... DON'T DO IT!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:20, archived)
# Its a multi sheet feed scanner
that could be painful

& I really wouldn't like to explain it to the service guy...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:21, archived)
# ahh well
no professional opinion for you then.

biab, toast time.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:22, archived)
# You've got funny testicles then...
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:16, archived)
# Well
one of them does do stand-up on thursday nights, he's produced some seminal work...

sorry
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:18, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:19, archived)
# Don't
you sound like my flatmate last night when her boyfriend came round.

I though he was killing her...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:20, archived)
# arf :)
a mate of mine who was renouned for the noise got up one morning when her boyfriend was staying to find a can of WD40 outside her bedroom door...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:21, archived)
# ha ha ha
:)
(nevermind, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:23, archived)
# An ex-housemate
used to have the bedroom next to the bathroom.
I once disturbed her and her boyfriend mid-coitus with a loud echoing fart into the toilet bowl.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:26, archived)
# we used
to put one of our flatmates off by banging on the wall out of rhythem...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:29, archived)
# No vowels
in rhythym.

sorry.
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:31, archived)
# I'm pretty sure
there is...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:33, archived)
# nope
she's right
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:35, archived)
# ok
but it's rhythm, not rhythym...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:38, archived)
# you are so right.
I knew something wasn't right about it.
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:41, archived)
# English
is a bloody stupid language! cough bough through though hiccough rough.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:43, archived)
# Hah! I agree.
And in Dorset:
I'm going Tescos to.

Whu?
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:48, archived)
# Of course
there's also only the one 'y'
(rhythm)
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:40, archived)
# One of my housemates at university
was renowned for bringing girls home - a new one each week or so.

For one of my courses I had to interview a local business man so I asked to borrow his dictaphone. On the tape in there was a recording of his last "conquest" - he'd left it on his cupboard & forgotten it was voice activated...

It only lasted around 90 seconds followed by a disappointed female voice asking if that was it...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:34, archived)
# HA!
: )
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:37, archived)
# you have
always had and always will have get your coat comic timing.
;)
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:31, archived)
# Hell
if I could tell a joke as well as I fuck up an anecdote, I'd be as popular as Tarbuck.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:41, archived)
# that is also a good idea
hmm... voodoo dolls...
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:25, archived)
# sacrificing
a strawberry?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:14, archived)
# Shall we help to cheer you up?
Will pouring your heart out to a bunch of strangers lighten your load?

Oh go on I like giving advice...
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:25, archived)
# ta
it's theoreticaly over, so there really isn't any advice to be taken.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:33, archived)
# I told you
wood, honey, handcuffs & bears...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:35, archived)
# growl!
I think I like this idea even more than the last one!

; )
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:38, archived)
# oh
you mean the other sort of wood

and the other sort of bears.

silly me.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:39, archived)
# what ever cheers you up
;)

you could have him mauled by either sort of bear...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:43, archived)
# he'd like it
submissive little thing that he is
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:49, archived)
# Dammit.
Both for my missed advice-giving chance, and for the state of your poor heart.

Go to dutchbird's link above and look at the leopard cub. That cheered me up no end :)
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:38, archived)
# aw
the fuzzy cuteness
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:50, archived)
# I have a tiger as a pet.
In my head.
(Amerella, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 9:53, archived)
# how does it fit?
is it a tiny tiger?
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 10:03, archived)